You have 10 minutes to convince me to buy a Switch. Shill it as hard as you can...

You have 10 minutes to convince me to buy a Switch. Shill it as hard as you can. Note that I'm currently considering to blow the money on hookers.

Mario is out in a month, and you'll be lucky if you can find one in that time.

You can attach the joycons to a dildo and have sex with it instead.

Mario's boy hole can't give you an STD

Botw is fun and so is arms. I'm not to much into splatoon but people love it. Mario tho man.thats gunna goat

Mario will be the best game ever

Fuck off if you need people to tell you how to spend YOUR money. Stop being an indecisive beta, pussy and just do what you fucking want to do without someone having to give you instructions like you're having your hand held in a tutorial

Those hookers will last you a few minutes while Switch will last you a few hours

>you'll be lucky if you can find one in that time
I know I'm on Sup Forums but it's really not that hard

Nah, the hookers will last him at least 1 hour at base rate.

Switch will last him a lifetime of regret.

>Switch
Massive distraction with games for children that will give you autism and prevent you from being productive in life

>Hookers
a couple hours of pleasure as you bust a nut in some hotties, killing your neediness for female companionship and allowing you to get back into focus so you can push on and be successful in life

You pick user:
Success and satisfaction, or autism and regret?

Senran Kagura will have HD Rumble, you will be able to experience those boobs and ass like if you were with hookers, it will last you for days. Eventually when mods come in you will be able to strap both Joycons to your dick and experience HD Rumble as if you were personally penetrating those Senrans.

HOW ABOUT THAT, HUH?

lmao, this meme again.

>muh gimmicky joycon magik can do anything
I'm having flashbacks to the Wii

This is HD Rumble™, not a simple gimmick

HD Rumble isn't a gimmick. It's just an additional feature to make games better.

unironically this.

Two GOTYs (zelda botw and mario oddysey)
Many games already out to play (splatoon 2, mario kart 8 deluxe, puyo pyto tetris, ect.)
Many more games coming in the future (pokken DX, xenoblade 2, kirby star allies, ect.)
Third party support for he first time (doom, la noire, wolfenstein 2, ea sports games ect.)
Lots of pretty solid indies (fast rmx, snake pass, blaster master zero, ect.)
Portability + built in local multiplayer

Hookers are temporary
Vidya is forever

>Two GOTYs
GOTY by definition implies only one game

Having lost my virginity last year at the age of 24, I am still not content. I want to fuck my girlfriend every day but she's 5 hours away. It would not necessarily satisfy that need for sex and affection.

Where do you live where its easy to find? I need one still there are none around me

Switch has no games you might as well buy a psp

go to a bar, spend $20 on drinks and land yourself a 5/10

use the rest on vidya

300 on hookers are cheap hookers

quality > quantity

I like ARMS a lot, Odyssey is out in a month which is literally the game of my dreams.

Hookers will last you a few hours, you can play videogames as long as you want

>1985, Nintendo launches video game console, after the video game crash? Dead as fuck in this market, Nintendo's done
>1986, wow, seriously? Famicom DISK System? Disks suck shit... It's really over... What happened to your main console support?
>1989, wow, the "GAY BOY?" Dead... Underpowered, old hardware... It's literally over... They killed themselves.
>1991, Nintendo launches Super childrens box, underpowered next to Genesis, dead as fuck, kids won't admit to owning one
>1995, virtual reality is cool... Wait, RED? Dead. Nintendo is done, what were they thinking?
>1996, cartridges... Not CDs? Dead as fuck. Goodbye Nintendo.
>1999, The Nintendo 64 DD? Really? Disks again? It's over, goodbye Nintendo, you'll die in Japan then the West...
>2001, holy fuck, small CDs? Dead as shit. It's really over...
>2001, wow... Game Boy Advance? I have to buy a new portable power system after the last one failed miserably? It's fucking totally over... and it uses cartridges....... Not Game Boy Discs... Dead on Arrival.
>2004, A dual... Screen? Touch screen? Holy shit. You taped two Game Boy Advances together? Dead...
>2006, WII? Haha! That's like my wiiwii. Wait, motion controls? Like the power glove? Haha (actual comments) dead!
>2011, 3D? Wow, seriously? What is this, VIRTUAL BOY 2? Haha! VB2, baby! Holy shit, it's so over. Goodbye Nintendo, your last market is mobile, and you killed it.
>2011, wow, Wii U? You mean Wii Shit 2? Dead (sold like shit, still profitable for Nintendo)
>2016, wow, Pokemon GO? This is really it... Nintendo is purely mobile games now... Dead.
>2016, Wow... Mario Run? More like Mario Flop?? It only made 30 million dollars from 90 million downloads? Dead...
>2017, Switch? Wow... jesus fuck, brace yourselves, we're witnessing their last and final console release anons, it won't be pretty.

If you're OP, why the fuck did you even bother making this thread you pathetic blue-pilled beta cuck?

HD Rumble can't simulate the feeling of salty coins and milk.

honestly the hookers are gonna be pretty busy soon, you should start poking around

>salty coins and milk.

Wow that really takes me back. To retard days.

Not really. Where I live you can bang smoking hot Russian street hookers for 30€. For 300€ you're looking at a pretty good escort for 3 hours.

my man... when have you ever seen a good looking prostitute?

This, if they were good hookers I'll understand but those are just aids with holes, go buy anime figures to protect your wizard powers from aids

>Age of 24
>I am at 24
are you telling me there is a chance?

Are hookers even legal?

not if you live in eu, ie. the most relevant market to gaming

It is in Yurope, straya and sheepland

>Fuck a stinky whore with a piece of rubber on your cock for 30 minutes
>or play some fun games
I'd rather buy a switch and stick with masturbation

How do you know it can't simulate it? Let Senran devs work their titty magic, they have the devotion and autism to do it

All over Europe?

Madrid has really hot Eastern euro chicks in Calle Montera, a shitty shag, as she just lays there like a dead fish, but it's 30€. But then you have escorts, see Also, you do know most porn girl, both pro and amateur do escorting as well right? So that chick you've fapped to dozens of times, yeah, you can fuck her if you pay her and live nearby.

>AIDS
You're more likely to get STIs from your gf, than from an escort. Escorts gotta stay clean and healthy to remain competitive, on the other hand, you'd be surprised how frequently girls cheat, and how good they are at keeping quiet about it.

Who cares?

Spoken like a true Nintenbro.

That sure explains this image.

I love how people actively go out to find autism related to nintendo fans as if it cancels out other bad eggs and autistic fans of other consoles and publishers, and franchises

t. pedophile

You get to shitpost when every exclusive comes out

he still has a point tough

Switch is the future of console gaming.
Join now ir get out.

Nice projection

Enjoy the guilt of STIs and the pleasure of being a degenerate.

unironically this.
would love the psp3 when its finally out.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 looks absolutely incredible and you don't wanna miss out on it desu

Plus if you haven't played BotW there's that, as well as Mario Odyssey in October, Metroid Prime 4, a new No More Heroes and more on the way.

>meme

You get a lifetime of regret when you contract an STD. If you have a lifetime of regret from buying a video game console, you're probably a turbo-autist and need to seek help.

Not him, but boy there is. Also got a gf and lost virginity at 23, almost 24. Try to join group activities (any sort, with a good degree of face-to-face interaction obviously)

you can spend 360 dollars on hookers to have fun for maybe week
you can spend 360 dollars on a switch to play that shit whenever you want forever

Can't you abuse the hat mechanic here? I've heard that on the second hat toss, Mario just gets his hat back without jumping, but in this webm, he does another jump to reach the traffic light when he grabs the hat after he tosses it a second time.

If you can't kill your neediness without a whore, you'll never succeed user. Yours is the mindset of a fucking beta trapped in a shitty situation.

inb4 "b-b-but I have a girlfriend and make 7 figures and I can bench press 500 lbs

Same boat as OP, thinking about getting a switch for some comfy gaming

I am not OP, just someone who believes one time or even 20 times won't satisfy those needs, and I fill that void with video games.

so you can be like me

>$360
>Hookers
>A week

I agree with your point, but you either live in super shitsville, or your underestimate the cost of even cheap strippers.

ofc you can't kill your neediness with just a whore, it has to come from within. However, fucking a whore will teach how valueless and easy sex is. We men lead entire lives chasing a women, many men make it a purpose, those men are lost. However, for a man who's become redpill aware, fucking a whore is a necessary experience in order to realize how foolish it is to place so much value in women.

>but muh emotions
You are a man. Seek a purpose. A woman is not and should never be your purpose, lest you seek a life of servitude and sacrifice. You can aim for much higher things, a woman will forever be a distraction, and more over, she will never love you how you want her to love you, women are incapable of that. As a man you are the pillar, and your woman should serve you, however modern western women have been ruined, just as men have, and both have forgotten their roles.

Letting go of neediness = deconditioning yourself to a lifetime of blue pill indoctrination, and it must cone through self love. Fucking a whore however will help you realize the meaningless value of sex, and allow you to focus on better things than chasing pussy.

>but STIs
If you've got a gf, you've got a higher chance of getting STIs from her cheating on you and not telling you, and yes, she WILL cheat on you. You'll just never know.

prices vary dramatically all over the world

Sounds like you need some dick, user.

No, I'm not a faggot.

Try elsewhere.

>spend the money on hookers
>shit sex, might as well just masturbate
>99% chance of contracting an STD
>shit tier replay value

>spend the money on a Nintendo Switch
>only console with access to Mario, Zelda, Pokemon and Smash Bros (otherwise known as testaments to innovative, imaginative, creative, artful gaming)
>0.00000001% chance of contracting an STD
>god tier replay value

oh gee difficult choice you guys...

>0.00000001% chance of contracting an STD from playing a Switch
Please elaborate.

Hookers will pleasure you for one night. The Switch will pleasure you for like at least three.

Just buy a Switch and jerk off

Sex has better battery life.

I'm sure there's someone in the world unlucky enough to somehow contract an STD from playing the Switch.

mario odyssey looks super jolly :)

Did you type that with a straight face?

Hookers will just make you feel unclean afterwards and in time you'll forget about it entirely.
But a game will provide memories lasting a lifetime.

>shadman

>Shadman

Figures Switchfags would be Pedophiles.

>t. virgin

slick AF

Well, if you buy a Switch you can't get an STD from it.

>yfw you'll repeatedly get stabbed in the face by desperate parents with unplanned children while trying to get a Switch on Black Friday instead of getting one before November like a person with common sense

>He doesn't like bad art
Holy shit normies get fucking off my chinese moving picture site

/thread

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he only jumps on the hat once