Attention, this is the Captain of the USG Sup Forumsishimura. All hands prepare for spooky halloween party!

Attention, this is the Captain of the USG Sup Forumsishimura. All hands prepare for spooky halloween party!

Are we even allowed to have those anymore? I thought the markerheads got it banned the same year they forced Santa into retirement.

Everyone is so busy at the Halloween party that they forgot it's Weller's birthday

Are we going to ignore the necroniggers in the engine room?

Nah, you should bring them in.
The more the merrier.

These new ambient noise for halloween sounds prerty real guys!

Right? And they've got some killer animatronics on the lower decks. Reminds me of that ancient movie. The Thing, I think it was called?

THEY ARE IN THE FUCKING AIR SHA- *static noises*

Hey, this is Josh from the Cleaning staff. Who clogged all the toilets in Hydroponics?

This fuck is this shit? Do unifags have a special movie night now?

Guys, those unionfags are making weird doodles on the walls again, wheres security?

This is Josh again, Hydroponics is flooding because one of you flushed! I'm ankle deep in shit water!

They are security. Don't worry, you will be processed soon enough.

>Greg using his plasma cutter to carve the pumpkins

He's going to get us all fired

I keep telling you guys- it's Dumplestiltskin!

alright very funny guys, who dressed up as my dead wife
>jokes on you I already coped

I'll be back boys, just gotta take a space dump. He he he yessir this year's movie night is gonna be good. Finally got the fucking Unitologoys to host their celebrations in another part of the ship so we get our own quarters this year. Popocorn, soda, cheesy monster movies, man this year's Halloween night is gonna be the shi- *sshhhhSNAP CRUNCH* AHHHHHHHH GOD FUCKING DAMN IIIITTT MY LEGS! MY FUCKING LEGS! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE DOORS AHHHH *zzzhhhbeeeeeeep*

Wht didn't the twitchy fucks return in 2?

Who the fuck left fake blood all over my fucking desk I swear to god if I find you I'll piledrive your ass, also stop playing with the radio frecuency,I'm getting weird echoes

HEY HEY HEY DON'T BE NECROPHOBIC

Alright guys Ive got reports of some disturbance in the crew deck. Probably some drunk idiot making a scene. Going to check it out.

but they did user

it clearly says in the handbook to use the ripper, get his rig number please

Evolution Ain’t free. The tree of evolution and sentience gotta be litterd with the blood of humans. Space engineer Isaac CLARKE aka “I. C” is not my felow humn. he is anti marker and probbaly not a belebier as well :DD. Necromorphs and infectors not Human male0 and human female ok. praise be upon altman.1

Vent dweller here.

We tried to do a Halloween party last year but fucking Dave came in and shot our glowing baby decorations. Because of him, we will ruin your Halloween party.

Sometimes I like to go to a windowed part of the ship and just start down at Aegis VII. Reminds me of the gf I never had.

I want to kill myself because I'm a kissless engineer virgin. Why the fuck did I get into such a meme career?

>not being part of the alpha ADS team

HONK HONK

Some weird noises are coming from the vents, can someone get a hold of engineering team?

Fuck you and fuck your pumpkin

Probably just us jacking off again, sorry.

By the way, med bay... get some better shit, we can't get high from the regular stuff.

I should play through this again for Halloween. Only did one playthrough.

Hey guys. Necrmorph here. I'm setting up a dating profile for with the USG Ishimura online dating service. Message me if like being penetrated hard and everywhere.

I recognize you. You were the whore that wanted to kill herself after a unitoligist knocked you up. What unfortunate Necromorph infected you?

Oh, you know. The one the penetrates the head and spurts in necromorph making shit. Anyway, interested in coming on down to my pad? I live in the vent near the medical wing.

Can you morons stop writing on the wall?!! Im not gonna clean that shit. Space janitor out.

Hay guys can I join in?

Hey anyone got a contact beam I can borrow?

Necronigger roommate left corruption all over the bathroom walls again, this is the last straw