NWC 2017- The Return of John Numbers

TONIGHTS THE NIGHT

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FUCKING

>where autists go to compete in non-competitive games on an outdated tablet
yay...

Can I get a brief summary of what to expect? Do we know what games are being played? Who's participating?

We don't know.
Games are being kept a surprise.
John Numbers and other qualifiers.

I guess it'll be a surprise then. I look forward to it.

That was embarrasing. Cosmo didn't even leave the first screen until the last second. The commentators tried to build excitement but everyone knew who the winner was after the first 30 seconds.

>Basic bitch SMM level

How was he playing so bad? Has he never played a Mario game in his life?

Funny how in just two years you can go from a young man into a hideous abomination straight from a horror movie.
I hope John FUCKING Numbers has mercy this year, I cannot stand to see another player fall into madness.

he realized it was arbitrary

his mind wandered

is it tonight? at what time ?

Isn't this where Cosmo turned into Wanda?

5 PM EST

...

yo man what the fuck

is it trying to smile or look pissed??

>get rekt so hard, you go trans in shame of your fellow men

how long?

JOHN

End this thing's suffering, this animal cruelty at this point.

He reminds me of those Japanese ghosts that wear those headbands with the little triangle on them.

FUCKING

Subtle

C-C-C-C-C-COSMO BREAKER

Who do you think Numbers will turn him into a tranny?

>Who do you think Numbers will turn him into a tranny?
What did he mean by this?

If John Numbers is defeated, will the curse be lifted?

I'm not sure I get it. I see John F U C K I N G Numbers mentioned in the chat, so I assume these two minutes are the tranny getting triggered at the memory?

J

What kind of last name is "Numbers"?

His name is actually John 1659327485 but no one wants to say that so they call him John Numbers.

lol

thats my ICQ number how did u get it

O

H

and become subhuman trans if they lose
if this part was standard it would make the game much more competitive

i so much fucking hope he kills himself on stream

Imagine being in the NWC and knowing that you have to go up against the man who broke Cosmo so badly that he became a tranny.

People give a fuck about this literally who advertisement? What's wrong with you people?

It's just a fun video game event, like watching E3. Calm down.

>everybody having fun enjoying themselves in the audience
>suddenly you hear ALLAHU ACKBAR followed by multiple gunshots

He did pretty good in the sprite based ones and to be fair the new super mario bros template in mario maker handles like butt.

>John "FUCKING" Numbers appears behind the gunman and quickly snaps his neck
>he pulls off the gunman's mask
>it was Narcissa Wright

Its a chance to see autism live

>his tombstone reads
>Here lies cosmo, he never scored higher than john numbers

>the championship where your manhood and sanity are at stake
Pretty damn hardcore if you ask me, didn't see this coming from Nintendo at all.

inb4 the final contest is smash 5

youtube.com/watch?v=aAmd7teU0iE

>nintendo shareholders and maybe an executive or two get caught in the crossfire
And nothing of value was lost

>That voice
Holy fucking shit he isn't even trying

this almost happened at the pokemon world championships but someone caught the shooters before they could get in

JOHN "TURNING COSMO INTO WANDA" NUMBERS
BETTER WIN

All his skill is from playing the same thing over and over. John could adapt.

How many more hours?

3 HOURS

When you get beat so hard, you turn into a woman

would you fuck me?
i'd fuck me,
i'd fuck me hard.

I can't think of anyone, except for maybe Spoony. who fell so hard from their Internet fame. He had a lot of it. He was know as THE speedrunning streamer. Consistant 4000+ viewers in his prime. I guess some people just can't handle the fame.

Reminder
youtube.com/watch?v=2ilXV5MLciE

aw yes hyped

It's impressive really how fast he went from being the guy to no one knowing him. Everything he did basically collapsed the instant he made that twitter post. His unbeatable time he imported a chinese cheatbox to get in OOT got destroyed and is now regularly beaten on the Wii version and every run he ever did of TWW was completely invalidated by barrier skip being fun.

It went so fast I'm not even sure he's realized how irrelevant he is yet. He still acts like some speedrunning royalty despite none of his records ever standing for any longer period of time.

You can actually hear his testicles disintegrating.

insider here

this is just a fancy way for them to announce sm4sh switch port

you're welcome

God I hope not fuck Smash

I'd hope so, imagine doing this whole thing and not having a single announcement.

Kevin Pereira needs to do podcasts again

Please show MOTHER 3.

except this is where they are announcing earthbound rebirth you moron

Last time we ended up with Federation Force.

>on an outdated tablet
The Switch is literally the most powerful tablet that has ever been released.

*cuddles switch*

How many bongs until it starts?

2.1 bongs

Jonh FUCKING numbers really beat the man out of him

Which speedrunner will John Numbers transform into a hideous tranny this year?

This is your host for the evening

MY

>tfw can't watch this shallow children's advertisement with not even an ounce of the genuinity of the old ones because I'm watching Melee instead
>tfw am totally okay with this
>tfw still hope Nintendo will announce like 3 more 3ds games or something just so I can pirate and dislike all of them for being sterile amiibo infested casual trash on a 240p system
So glad Layton moved on to 1080p systems, despite being garbage. Suddenly it had a WW release too unlike on 3ds where Nintendo stalls games just because they can.

Continue watching your children's advertisement while screaming the names of ecelebs. Reggie doesn't even play games. He doesn't fucking know how to double jump in smash. Yet you all glorify him when he tells you to play the damn game. Such an ironic thing.

seriously imagine winning this hard

Has Sup Forums the Musical ever done a "make a man out of you" parody except with John Numbers?

I would question his sanity. But I have to admit he seems like a much better loser than I had thought. In this scenario at the very least.

Who cares at this point? Play the fan translation which was done by a professional.

>fan shit
>"professional"

lmao

John FUCKING Goldberg

Nice bait.
Smash4 port is a dead rumor, it's smash 5 in 2 years.

More professional than whatever Treehouse could shit out in this day and age

nah

Ok. Who's gonna turn into a tranny this year?

My guess would be John Numbers, Karma is gonna fucking get him for Turning a respectable young man into an insane child Thatd Id still fuck if there was a bag over their head

The guy who did worked on translations for games like Kingdom Hearts 2. What is actually wrong with it?

>speedrunner
>respectable young man

>Treehouse
>"professional" translations

>watching the tester with Sup Forums
>GDQ and speedrunning as a whole 2011-2013
its been 5 years holy shit man

I thought they save this stuff for E3 season?

This is terrifying. I hate treehouse.

Egoraptor got fucked over

Never forget

Oh wait he's a e-famous let's player now, I guess he won in the end

they know what the kids want

cone head

They did such an insane job with Kid Icarus Uprising, what happened? A great purge once Iwata got sick?