MEANWHILE ON THE USG Sup ForumsISHIMURA

MEANWHILE ON THE USG Sup ForumsISHIMURA

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youtube.com/watch?v=jRXQsQKGqIU&index=41&list=LLZEIhbprs1FM5fiNM9nPxKw
youtube.com/watch?v=HN5Kwv0Fb6k
youtube.com/watch?v=d2xkpz-26jM
youtube.com/watch?v=L38AbxFr8vY&t=8s
youtube.com/watch?v=ocW3fBqPQkU
twitter.com/AnonBabble

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

dead space 3 when?

EEEEEURHRHGHG *vomits*

Can someone shut the Guardians up? I'm trying to see how many dicks I can grow.

youtube.com/watch?v=jRXQsQKGqIU&index=41&list=LLZEIhbprs1FM5fiNM9nPxKw

personally, I prefer pencils to markers

Can someone give me a quick rundown on this meme?

>meme

I'LL SAY IT AGAIN
IF I EVER CATCH THE MOTHERFUCKING RUNNING UP AND DOWN CREW QUARTERS WITH CLOWN SHOES ON I'M SHOVING THEM UP YOUR ASSHOLE AND BLOWING YOU OUT THE AIRLOCK

I only tried the first game, when it came out, but the controls felt too akward so I dropped it
but I have watched all the animated comics and lorestuff and I think it's great
youtube.com/watch?v=HN5Kwv0Fb6k

youtube.com/watch?v=d2xkpz-26jM

Can you uh....
Can you grow me an 9 incher? Asking for a friend.

my fucking bunkmate won't stop banging his head against the wall jesus I just want to get some sleep

Hey guys, some military ship sending an SOS is nearing us? Should I just let them dock?

>Working on Ishimura is almost better than working on SS13
That says a lot, doesnt it?

Ayo playas this is your captain John Boyega, just want to remind you that Star Wars™ Battlefront™ 2™ by EA will be released this November 17th, jump in with me and begin your journey.

what is the new game made by visceral?
star wars if i'm not wrong
i feel bad for that guys, so much talent in the hand of EA

Hey John it's me, Daisy Ridley. Come give me a kiss.

SUP ISHIFAGS
USM Valor here. We're just about to Shockdrive back to Earth, gonna slay us some sweet-ass EarthGov pussy. You faggots have fun with your space rocks!

>there's a spiked tentacle coming out of the ventilation in engineering
said my colleague while pretending to be scared
sorry Bob, not falling for that one a second time

Oh yeah well my fucking bunkmate is shitting blood in the toilet and laughing

Sounds cool, bro. I'm in a escape pod near your ship, could you give me a lift? I'm sick to death of this crate.

Look out the window and these retarded miners are worshiping that rock

i think that rock is cool

That rock makes it hurt when I pee

I dont trust it guys

Dr. Mercer pls.

i want to fuck that rock

>tfw they put you in medbay
>everytime there's that shitty lockdown
least there's no necromorphs to make it worse

there is a guy that has hit his head on the wall for almost an ho-
now he's stopped

CONTAINMENT BREACH
EVACUATE THE MEDBAY IMMEDIATELY
THIS IS NOT A DRI

FUCK

Engi here. Fuck guys, can you be a little more cautious with the lights?
It's the fifth time this week I have to replace one, and the cause is always careles handling or straight up destruction.

See you later bitch, Im out of here

Which one of you fucking faggots is going into the restroom and pissing on the toilet paper and papers meant to cover the fucking toilet!

I was pretending it was Conker's bad fur day

Yeah, about that...

It's not funny you fucking faggot I work all day and try to do something as fucking minuscule and meaningless as taking a fucking dump and I can't because your virgin anime loving ass thinks it's funny! I did not sign up to be apart of this colony so I could not take a fucking dump you nigger. You're as bad as the retards worshiping the fucking rock. I hope you get castrated.

Frank, I'm glad that religion has given you some purpose in your life, but please stop sending me non-stop emails about Unitology, you know I think it's a crock of shit.

What's wrong? Did LINK drop again?

Don't compare me to those unitologist fags least i'm not spending all my money just to move a fucking rank up

JESUS CHRIST THIS IS ENGINEERING

LEVEL 4 IS COMPLETELY OVER RUN WITH SOMETHING OH GOD ITS TEARING US ALL APART

THIS ISNT ANOTHER JOKE I SWEAR PLEASE SEND H *gurgling* *screams* *static*

Somebody go down there and shoot engineering for typing his death out

Fuck you Derek, I can type whatever I want.

Praise the Marker btw.

BEHIND YOU

fuck, you guys are drama queens, i swear if i come down there and just find a tiny spider again...

Hey, janitorial staff here, you assholes mind not bleeding everywhere?

So guys, if we all become the necromorph will anything really change? We're already an angry hivemind and repeats the same shit over and over.

Why not just give ourselves up willingly?

>oh wow guys I swear it's real
>types it all out
fucking engineer fags are the worst just dumb pseuds

no can do i have hematuria

ALTMAN BE PRAISED

Security here.

Why isn't our armory stocked?

greedy earthgov reps

sorry Bill, the guys from the planet cracking team took the explosives because they had some trouble with the big chunk
don't know about the guns but I saw some people running around with them recently so the jokers from engineering probably modded them for their war games again
nothing to worry about, they'll bring them beck, eventually

Anyone else having weird dreams about that rock? I touched it once and I can't stop thinking about it.

youtube.com/watch?v=L38AbxFr8vY&t=8s

fuck off Mercer

God dammit NOT AGAIN!

I told James not to loan out the guns for SWAT games. Some idiot keeps putting plasma cutters in our racks !

Fucking engineering!

Dear Sprawl,
fuck you faggots love, Ishimura

Guys, I got lost on the way to hydroponics and eventually stumbled into what appears to be a bunch of large headed babies into vat tubes. Who the fuck is responsible for this?

How the fuck do you think we keep generating replacement limbs for you clumsy fucking miners?

T. Science Team.

ooooohhhh

Where's the porn its a fucking sausage fest on here

:)

Hydroponics is also filled with some gas that smells like ass. Don't people turn on the fucking fans around here?

Guys I just saw some kind of giant bat down in medbay, he started eating the captain and he came back form the dead and became BLACK, Im not joking I swear

Contain him before he tries to steal all our shit

>Black
I'M ON IT

>maneating bats
riiiiight
can't you assholes come up with better stories than this and ventilation tentacles?

hu hu, nice vblog faaag

No that's just David's ass spilling out in the hydroponics room because he doesn't understand shoveling your mouth with food from our cafeteria comes with consequences

AEIOU

JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN

Send a message to the higher ups than, I want that fucker working on the decomissioned trams in the docking bay. By the way, how did it get so fucking busted like that? WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS SHIP

then*
fuck

*distant honking*

I'm not sure I haven't gotten a whole lot of sleep since we've found this fucking rock and it doesn't help that David keeps stinking up the entire ship

STOP TRYING TO FLUSH MEDKITS DOWN THE TOILETS
WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE EVEN DOING THIS

Engineering chief here. Me and my boys are ugly fleshbags walking into us. There are 14 of us and each is carrying a fully powered plasma cutter, a circular saw and a force gun. We arent afraid to use them either. Our kill count is 54 so far.

We are trying to mine space gold here and become rich, so please, dont annoy us any further.

>mfw taking out batteries from flashlights and putting them into the toilets
>mfw same throwing them into the toilet
You'll never catch me faggot

Engineering chief here. Me and my boys are tired of you ugly fleshbags walking into us. There are 14 of us and each is carrying a fully powered plasma cutter, a circular saw and a force gun. We arent afraid to use them either. Our kill count is 54 so far.

We are trying to mine space gold here and become rich, so please, dont annoy us any further.

fucking 1 min timer to delete posts

REMOVE UNITOLOGISTS

GET OFF MY SHIP NOW

BEFORE ITS TOO LATE

I'm serious man how many years have we been in space and we haven't come across one fuckable alien. That's the whole reason I decided to become a fucking ship engineer. To fuck a sexy alien. I don't even give a shit if it's a chick at this point I just want to get my dick up in ET

youtube.com/watch?v=ocW3fBqPQkU

>brainlets will never understand the paradise the marker will deliver
LOW IQ
O
W
I
Q
FUCKING RETARD ALERT

>mfw they're all animals and low functioning
>sex organs don't even work the same as ours
BELIEVE ME I have tried

>that fucking autist that always played train simulators on his personal computer managed to leave the tram system working in the ship
God bless that motherfucker

H-hey guys, I've been feeling a bit strange lately. I rarely have a full night sleep, I'm starting to see weird shapes in the dark and even voices. And no, those voices aren't from the weebs watching their shitty chinese cartoons at 5 am. I also have this strange dreams of me killing my roomate and eating his insides... strange shit I know

My roomate told be to get a check up at the medic bay but that medic guy gives me the creep. He is always talking to himself, saying weird shit. I swear to god I saw him cutting himself just yesterday.

I guess all I need to do is getting some pills and try to get some sleep. Since we pop the cork from that one planet, my mind is all over the place.
Hope I'll get better soon.

Stop playing soldiers and start fixing the fucking ventilation in Hydroponics.
Your subordinates must have way too much free time on their hands when they make such elaborate alien zombie costumes for their LARP sessions.

Hey people, I'm looking for Carl. I haven't seen him since yesterday.
The ship is huge, but not big enough for someone to get lost in it I'm assuming.

WHO THE FUCK BRING THAT STUPID MARKER HERE?!

Was that what that fucking sound was last week? You brought it onboard!?
How was it?

Crazy religious people. Ignore them and their shenanigans and it will go away.

Autist, huh? Well, this autist still has admin access to tram system and security cameras. Fuck you, Andrew, enjoy getting your face eaten.

You mean Carl from hydoponics or Carl from accounting

>Be me
>Living on shitty mining ship working in Requisition
>Miners bring back some weird ass giant rock
>Rock huggers all over the place
>Go to see what all the (transport) hub is about
>Can't sleep anymore
>Can't think straight
>Got fired a few days ago
>My wife cannot sexually please me
>Igottafucktherock.audiolog
>Go back to it
>All the rock humpers have gathered around it
>Like a rave
>One of them turns around
>ihavejustshitmypants.captainslog
>get assraped by three flesh puppets
>get turned into a meaty wallhanger with asthma
>mfw

UH CAN ALL THE UNITOLOPHOBES FUCK OFF PLEASE. UNITOLOGY IS A RELIGION OF PEACE OKAY YOU FUCKING BIGOTS

...

Stop drinking the tap water. Filters are busted and some asshole doing maintenance managed to spill a bucket of WD-400 into the water tanks.
Nothing really serious at that concentration, might cause some small headaches and occasional hallucinations, that's all.
Also man the fuck up and visit the Med-bay. Talk to Liz and ask nicely. She'll give you some really good stuff for you sleep trouble.
It will make you whole again.

>brought it on board
Uh...I haven't brought anything on board during this expedition. Last expedition I went on though we found these weird sock shaped jelly creatures and let me tell you it was kinoon my dick