Guys.. I'm fucking scared

Guys.. I'm fucking scared.

I'm fucking nauseous. I stayed up all week because how worried I was. Mario Odyssey was our last shot to prove that the Nintendo Switch was a worthwhile system. If Mario Odyssey didn’t atleast sell 5 million units then it's fucking over, Nintenbros.

I wanted to just get a fresh new IP but it’s just more gimmicks and to top it off I’m forced to play with motion controls. I wanted this to FORCE sonybros to buy a Nintendo Switch. I wanted them to cry as they're forced to withdraw $400 to play this game.

But it didn't do well. Sure, it got good reviews (lol) but that’s only thanks to the Nintendo bias, and the game was revealed to be a bare-bones, boring game you can complete under 10 hours. Another blunder in a long line of blunders. We fucking lost, Nintenbros..

How do I calm down? How do I ease myself and face the inevitable that Mario Odyssey is a blunder?

Stupid fucking toxic lenny face Sup Forums 9gag tumblr faggot nigger, you need to kill yourself, nobody fucking thinks your shitty dead annoying memes are funny, crying wojack was dead before it even fucking started, you need to buy a sturdy fucking rope, then build a strong sturdy perch on your roof so it does not collapse with your fat ugly 400lbs neckbeard body then wrap the rope around your fat ass ugly neckbeard neck, and then jump off your fucking roof and hope the perch you built does not fucking collapse and strangles you violently and finally ends your useless fucking existence.

...

>Sold 1 million in it's first 2 days
Here's your (You)

It's been out for 4 days, god.

33% of switch owners bought it day 1, p impressive.

fpbp

What happened to the other 4 stages of grief?

Fucking hell. How many proxies are you hiding behind?

Normies loved it and that's all that matters.

...

...

It sold 2 million in 3 days and 7 million own a switch.

Thanks doc

this is how desperate the niggers of sony are

Are 5 million people honestly sitting there with a blank Switch if they're not willing to pick up Mario Odyssey?

BOTW must really be that good since the next game that comes out that actually is probably 2019. Metroid Prime 4 will be worth it. In the mean time, NETFLIX. ITLL BE PORTABLE. But dont call it portable, its a full fledged console.

I miss the Splatoon vocaroo of this pasta.
>sweet sweet reeeeeeeeeleeeease

thank you so much doc, I am literally in tears you were the beginning in the desensitization of EVERYTHING! It began with piccolo dick

2017 and still buying Nintendo.... Guys I know the n64 was great, even the GameCube was good, but jeez. Move into the future already

Mario isn’t a new IP. At least try to change the pasta

Shut he fuck up and go back playing uncharted or whatever the fuck, I swear to God I'm getting really sick of your fucking false-flagging, literal children.

post-ironic falsefagging is honestly some of the unfunniest shit to come out of this place in some time.

>they still buy nintendo shit
It's like you're still 8

Do you think everyone who's ever going to get it is picking it up within three days from launch? Christmas is just around the corner.

Thanks, doc. Needed something to get through shitposts at midnight.

>we fucking lost

2 goty's motherfucker loollllll

Your friendly reminder that Nintendo released titles for their two biggest franchises in the opening year of the Switch to sell the console and they literally have nothing left to support the system through the inevitable third party drought.

>But this time it'll be different!
Denial.

>being this mad that a company is willing to open with relevant GOTY material for new console launch instead of pic related

Thanks doc, I needed it

Just wait until Donkey Kong Odyssey

Sony's brand is just strong enough that they don't need games to sell a console at launch.

Fuck off and kill yourself

Its been a while, doc.