Go to a friends house when as a kid

>go to a friends house when as a kid
>"hey user, wanna play a game?"
>sure
>"let me just start the computer"
>computer boots up
>desktop resolution is super low
>everything is huge and stretched out
>it's super retarded
>fix it
>"user, dad's gonna be mad that you messed with the computer!"
>whatever, this is better
>we play some games
>next day I'm grounded because friend's dad called my dad to tell him about how I installed a virus on his computer that made everything look really small

Nerd frog poster.

James? Is that you?
don't fuck with my computer again you fucking autist or i'll make you wish I was calling your Dad next time.

You do realize that you don't come over to other people's homes and set your own rules there? Jesus Christ, frogposters really are fucking dumb.

Never improve things for normies, let them suffer. Also never educate anyone, you're only undermining the worth of your expertise.

Took you long enough to find out.

The same thing happened to me.

Sometimes people have the res set really low because they're vision impaired silly user

>use computer in high school
>"friend" moves a fucking icon of some program to the center of the screen
>punished with two weeks of no computer use
I never went back after that. Luckily I got my oen computer and had money to rent public ones, those people were fucking retarded.

>what is scaling

>15 years old
>getting the hang of computers
>download emulators and play all the games I want
>mom finds me playing Doom
>sees a pentagram or some shit and freaks the fuck out
>smashes the computer
>strips me naked and spanks me for 6 hours straight with a belt
>apologizes for losing her temper but says it was for my own good
And she wonders why I don't call her anymore

>use computer in school
>open notepad
>write:
>@echo off
>color 0a
>mode 1000
>:x
>@echo %random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%%random%
>goto x
>save as .bat
>open it
>teacher sees it
>"oh my god, what are you doing? Stop hacking!"
>get an F for being a hacker

Bitch

>installed a virus

>be in school
>take screenshot of desktop
>set screenshot as background
>remove all icons from desktop and hide the start bar
>???
>wait for the absolute mayhem that ensues

Did the same thing, except it was an ex-gf and not a friend and we weren't playing games, I just thought it was stupid to use 640*480 in a post 9/11 world.

How have I never done thus

doesnt shit shit shutdown the computer?

>At school
>Computer class
>Put monitor inside backpack
>Go home

why were adults so bad at computers in the 90s when literally children could learn how to work them. Are the boomers retarded?

>Everyone in the house knew my dad looked at porn on the computer
>Mom would joke about it all the time
>Eventually we got a virus
>Parents blame me for installing steam
>get banned from the computer

I did the same thing once, but I also switched the left and right mouse buttons.

Yes, they are.

I work for an internet provider and I had some guy in his mid 50s have an absolute fit because his gmail account was hacked and I couldn’t help him because I’m not google.

He started screaming about cancelling his account with us and then dropped the phone on the floor.

Boomers are the Indians of age.

>in high school
>in computer lab
>end of every class i go into the monitor settings and set the screen orientation to upside down
>tfw coming into the same class the next week and no one's changed it back

>call center pajeet calling anyone an indian

Creepy family

>highschool computer class
>computer lab has a shitton of programs because every class that needs one uses these computers
>look over at kid's computer next to mine
>"hey, wanna see a fun trick?"
>"what?"
>hit ctrl-a and enter on his desktop
>fans kick into overdrive trying to desperately cool the 5$ CPU that's trying to open every program and media file at once
>his computer shuts down
>teacher blames him
>mfw

I used to like coming into class early and using ctrl-alt up or down to rotate kids' screens before they got in too.

no way this is real, I am sorry user

At least pajeet can explain to some old timer how to unplug and replug a wifi router

No, it's just falling random green numbers, similar to the intro from Matrix.

>in the 90s
Pretty much anyone over 40 even now can't understand a computer despite Microsoft and Apple's best efforts to retard-proof them. I've had college professors who can't understand how to play a fucking video on a computer.

>hit ctrl-a and enter on his desktop
>fans kick into overdrive trying to desperately cool the 5$ CPU that's trying to open every program and media file at once
absolutely classic stitch up, sometimes we would get into physical scuffles trying to ctrl+a eachothers desktops

Might as well contribute. It's been years since this shit happened, but still nice to reminisce

>be 14
>school buddies find out that putting a key in a USB port short circuits them
>End up crashing a lot of PCs wiping coursework
>Eventually a PC actually fries
>Laugh as they have to pay for the damages

Second story
>Person goes to ask teacher for assistance
>Wikipedia -> micropenis
>set as desktop background
>turn off monitor
>good times ensue

I don't know how my dad can say that ping affects fps directly and write some simple scripts for his game at the same time.

>be 2008
>downloading emulators on my home pc
>It gets a virus
>everyone blames me
>Decide to not be retarded and run a virus scan
>Only thing that pops up is all the "mp3s" that my family has been downloading from limewire
>Tell them
>"Well downloading them emulators didn't help either"
>mfw

Allways blaming the most beta is a rule.

Nothin personel kids.

>mode 1000
What does this do exactly?

>limewire
Oh fuck anyone who still uses this shit, it was good only for .mp3, and even then you just downloaded a shitton of viruses with it.

>playing vidya at friends house
>his mom and dad start fighting again
>he doesn't respond to any of it
>mfw looking at his dead eyes while they're fighting and shouting

Full screen

You sound like an asshole. I hope nobody hangs out with you.

Americans are fucking weird

i mean they're right

In my comp lab class, we always tried to slap the windows key, L, and Enter to log people out. It took forever to log back in to the domain, so it was always a good laugh.

You're like a little baby.
Watch this:
>Be in school
>Take screenshot of desktop and rotate it 180 in paint
>Set rotated screenshot as a background
>Delete all real icons and move taskbar to the top of the screen, then hide it
>Now rotate the display by 180 so it all looks normal
They literally had to re-install OS beacuse they were too dumb to figure it out.

>retarded professor doesn't know that all he needs to do is download kawaii codec pack to play the video

This is fucking next level

i did this kind of shit, it was pretty funny.

Computer class grade school
>Play newground games
Computer class high school
>Play UT
Computer class college
>Play CS

>go over to friends house
>he's a werido but he got internet
>convince him to look for porn and go to rotten.com
>he eventually gives in
>two days later get a call from his dad about how I showed him bad stuff on the internet
>deny it, how would I know anything we don't have internet at home

It got awkward for a while after that, but he soon moved away and last I heard he married a qt korean girl in that Unification Church cult.

>people always playing games and shit on the computers in class
>IT admins eventually lose the plot and ban all .exe files
>they create an algorithm that detects .exe files and you would actually get detention for having them in your student files
>entire classes of students being called into the IT office over the loudspeaker because of old exe files from programming classes and shit that were literally just from school projects

>middle school IT class
>sitting next to that one weird kid who smells like eggs
>have a gander over at what he's doing some time during class
>he's browsing through a whole bunch of poorly drawn pokemon hentai
>mfw
that kid was a fucking nutjob
he killed himself later in highschool

>Early to mid-2000s
>Have BitDefender as anti-virus
>Computer gets slower every day
>Don't do system scans because I'm on it all the time and I dislike leaving the computer on when I go to sleep
>Weeks pass
>Computer is now so slow that opening Firefox literally takes over 5 minutes
>Decide to do a system scan
>After a few minutes, BitDefender notifies me of a virus with the only available action being "Ignore"
>Found threats are now in the thousands
>lowresbadqualitytowelguy.jpg
>BitDefender shuts down for no reason and the last number of found threats I remember was either 600.000+ or 6.000.000+ (I remember it was an unrealistically high amount starting with a 6)
I highly doubt that number was anywhere close to correct, but I'm still extremely proud.

>rotten.com
Why? Why do people find this interesting?

Underrated

>>he's browsing through a whole bunch of poorly drawn pokemon hentai
Of the girls or the pokemons?

back then it was all we had.

Take a guess user
you already know the answer

marcello?

>tfw throwing chairs around the computer lab

did they fucking take the website down? I remember looking at that shit when I was in middle school but I can't find it for some reason

now you have to hit enter 2 times though, that's often enough to spoil the joke

If i knew the answer of something that happened in the past, somewhere in the world, in a place and possibly a time where i was not present (place) or still capable of have memories (time), wouldn't i be making mad dosh employed at some security agency?

Still, 50/50, decent odds.
I say the girls, but it was futa

>that kid who made a hate site about someone that bullied him
>truly "horrific" shit like a picture of a cow with the caption "THAT KID'S MOM HAHA"
>tfw he actually got in trouble with the police for cyberbullying

You kids that do this kind of shit are fucking obnoxious. I had a computer class that was in a lab occupied by freshmen prior. Half the computers would always have shit taped to the bottom of the mice, ethernet cords unplugged, screenshotted desktops. No wonder you virgin magic the gathering kids who do this never have any friends.

>Go over to friends house
>Browse porn together on computer while jerking each other off
>suddenly keys at the front door are heard
>mom is home from work
>bail through back door and run home
>he told his mom he found the site url written in the snow outside

I remember jerking it with friends

We went as far as him spitting on my butthole and putting the tip of his finger inside

He would also spit on me whenever he got angry at video games I loved it

t. loser school teacher who got his shit wrecked by computer literate children

did your friend not know how to close tabs and delete history or something? was he that dumb?

>highschool computer lab
>find computer used by someone who forgot to logout
>go into their files and find all their saved projects
>install winrar
>put all their files into a rar and delete the originals
>name the file "yourstuff"
>change the file extension from rar to some random garbage
>change settings to hide file extensions
>delete winrar
>logout


I used to do that all the time.

so did you smash your computer after that?

Oh and later on I moved away but he visited me once or twice after that

Started shaving my pubes at the time and he demanded to see it

I also used to spy through the keyhole of their bathroom when he or his mom were showering

10/10 memories and to this day I REALLY wish I could fuck his moms ass

Snuck around in her bedroom to find dildos or used panties but I was never lucky

Found another friends hot moms vibrator and used it on myself and brought it home with me

That reminds me of something disgusting I did.. I licked used pads from another friends sister

>be 10
>Playing starcraft broodwar custom maps
>Playing the one where four people get to be directors and have to put on a shitty starcraft RP movie.
>Having a pretty good time setting it up
>Mom comes home drunk and just sits behind me harassing me and punching my shoulder and asking
>HEY WHATCHA DOIN and laughing
>Keeps punching me for no reason and grabbing my hair and randomly screaming and laughing
>Get annoyed and leave to go to my room, slam my door
>Next day my mom tells me she has a "head cold"
>It's from me slamming my door
>That computer does bad things to you user, I think it's time we have to ban you from using it or you're attitude will never improve.

We were young and had next to no experience using computers, very few of us knew how to delete history, I did but since I ran home instead of helping him he was fucked.

>be 15 in the early 2000s
>look up all sorts of gay porn sites out of interest
>not even aroused by it, just strange juvenile interest in naked men
>brother finds it in history
>confronts me with it
>I blush as I never have blushed before
>I claim it was a virus or something
>never spoken of it again

I guess he still thinks I'm gay

The souls of six million had to go somewhere

how old were you at the time, you sick bastard?

I work as a teacher, and one place I worked, the students had all similar laptops. Since they left the computer unlocked when they left, I decided to turn off the touchpad and disable the hotkey to enable it again. If I felt like it, I would then alter the key combination to rotate the screen to something random and then rotate it.

Serves them right for not paying attention.

Sounds like one of my old friends

He made me look up rotten.com and zoophilia

Now I'm a furry and have fucked and gotten fucked by dogs

>Computer literate children
No, just having to unfuck my computer for 5 minutes every single day got really fucking old. Luckily the kid who sat at my desk left his account logged in one day and I deleted all of his shit. Felt good man.

>Friends in highschool used to hang out in the computer lab
>One day everything stops working for whatever reason
>Huge witch hunt to figure out "Who broke the computers"
>Me and my friends were first suspects since we spent more time in there than anyone
>none of us did anything
>Get pulled out of classes and lectured on not messing with school property
>turns out the IT guy accidentally knocked a wire out and was too busy jerking it to figure out the problem.

Almost all of my close friends have given each other handjobs and blowjobs when we were young, pre-teen days. I'm totally bisexual but none of them seem to be leaning that way, they're married and some have kids now.

Meanwhile I'm jerking off to traps alone at home.

haha

What a faggot

10. This was long ago, when computers weren't really hot shit either, most were inexpeirenced with them, especially the internet and porn sites, this was still the era of finding por

AAA

>download porn on a slow connection at a friend's place
>pictures always slowly loaded from the top
>hot chick with HUGE tiddies slowly loads
>friend unzips dick and starts jerking it
>his face when the rest loads and reveals a massive dick

>Fuck with a man's computer settings
>W-WAHHH I GOT IN TROUBLE!!!

Shut the fuck up you dumb nigger.

finding porn magazines in the woods*

>>he told his mom he found the site url written in the snow outside

>the peak of your puberty
>get spanked for 6 hours by a milf
i wish that was me

Stitched up like a fucking kipper. Nice.

>LShift + LAlt + Printscreen.

Wow I didn't know so many people had absolute lunatics for parents.

>me and a buddy install a keylogger in the computer of the school's library
>so many kids went there to access their msn messenger
>we got their passwords and logged into their accounts to insult their contacts and change their names to something like "I AM GAY"

good times

>Friend brought in a copy of a video game on a flash drive
>For whatever reason the school computers wouldn't run the game when we downloaded it
>Friend gets an idea
>Renames file to "system"
>Game now runs

even as a kid I would nver have fapped to titties only

You have quite possibly, never touched a vagina.

his name was terry wasn't it

it's always terry

>Tape on the bottom of the mice
Jesus I remember doing that. Man I miss fucking around in highschool.