ITT: Games that aged like shit

ITT: Games that aged like shit

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>Games age

>expectations don't change over time

>standards don't improve
Oh wait this is Sup Forums, you don't know what standards are.

>how to prove you are underage on the internet 101

Only thing that aged like shit is the camera, which is horrendous by today standards. Fortunately the DS remake improved on that

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If it was fun back then it's fun now. Maybe not to a jaded thirty year old, but a kid today should get as much enjoyment out of Mario 64 as you did when you were a kid.

Kids today will not touch that shit from a hundred miles when they have 4k hd plus ultra call of duty my dude.

The only way kids are going to play this shit today is if you have one and show him yourself.

>I have no imagination

>nintentards play baby games and are actual manchildren.

The battle system is just too clunky nowadays.
It really was a poor middle-ground between the 2D-style battles and the later 3D styles with free run.

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>Bob-omb Battlefield
Great level. A huge variety of things to check out. A wonderful place to master the flying cap. The Chain Chomp is iconic. It has almost as much verticality as later levels and yet the mountain isn't even half the level.
>Whomp's Fortress
Decent. Looks to much like a random assortment of assets. Every other early level genuinely looks like a lived in world. Thwomps are pointless since most people will backflip up into the water are instead of dealing with the steps. Whomps are a cool enemy that work unlike anything else in the game. The owl is boring. Blast Away the Wall is a weird mission. The repeated climb isn't as bad as later levels but it can still get annoying.
>Jolly Roger Bay
Slow-paced but never boring. Amazingly atmospheric considering the technical limitations of the game. No enemies in the water besides the eel and the stationary clams means this is a good place to practice swimming. Gives the illusion of being larger than it actually is. Probably the best song in the entire game.
>Cool, Cool Mountain
One of the best. It's hard to say what level actually is the largest, but this stage certainly feels the largest. This was my favorite level as a kid, which has to count for something. The idea of a vertical level you descend rather than ascend was genius and still is genius to this day. Snowmen seem immortal when you first meet them, which is great. The penguin family adds a lot of charm, even if most people do wind up killing the kid. Discovering and accomplishing the wall kick challenge is one of the highlights of the entire game.

>Big Boo's Haunt
Great in theory. Not terrible in execution. Probably the most authentic feeling of a lived-in world that the game manages to produce. Half of the missions involve fighting Big Boo, which is overboard. The first fight in particular is a let down since people are significantly more likely to trigger the second fight in the carousel without realizing they broke sequence. The piano was a nice touch. The invisibility cap rooms feels unnecessary, like they're justifying the powerup rather than doing anything interesting with it.
>Hazy Maze Cave
One of the best. Even the entrance is memorable and unlike anything else in the game. Finding the metal cap and then getting spit out into the castle's moat is one of if not the most memorable moment in the game. Swimming Beast in the Cavern is a daunting challenge the first time you do it because you have no reason to expect that the creature is friendly and the game even lies to you to imply it will eat you. The poison maze is fun to navigate, and seeing The work elevator is the only lame part of this level.
>Lethal Lava Land
The first time you see it isn't too bad. You soon realize how broken everything outside of the volcano is. You can turn around and long jump right at the beginning to cut out a lot of travel. When you get the wing cap you can fly directly to the Red-Hot Log Rolling star. The Bullies aren't particularly fun enemies and they aren't difficult in any way either. The first star has you fight the Big Bully. The second star has you fight three Bullies and then the Big Bully. That feels like the laziest moment in the entire game. The volcano is kino though.

>Shifting Sand Land
A much better take on the same ideas present in the lava stage. Not in the same league as the best levels though. The huge mountains of sand prevent most players from skipping the level unless they can master getting on top of the building to grab the wing cap. The maze of rolling blocks is a fun obstacle. The bird is a piece of shit. Shining atop the Pyramid is a nothingburger mission. The interior of the pyramid is fun to run around in as long as you don't get stuck short hopping in the middle section of sand. This is hands down the best non-Bowser boss fight in the game.
>Dire, Dire Docks
Subpar level, unfortunately. The fact that it ties directly into the second Bowser fight is nifty. The whirpool of death in the opening are is a memorable obstacle. However, the fact that none of the enemies in the opening are chase after makes things boring. I have no idea why I see so many people imply that the Manta Ray is a challenge since all it does is swim in a circle. The unfortunate fun killer in this level is having to make the same slow swim from the first section to the second section in order to get five of the seven stars.
>Snowman's Land
Unfortunately this is not as good as the earlier snow level, nor is it any harder. And in addition to that, it feels a lot smaller. Fuck this level for trying to pass off a Big Bully rematch as something brand new. Fuck this level for thinking it was okay to make missions out of both Whirl from the Freezing Pond and Shell Shreddin' for Red Coins. The igloo was okay, but it a tinier version of the idea already present in earlier lava and sand stages.
>Wet-Dry World
Just decent. Probably the most egregious example of thrown together assets in the entire game. You should only have had to swim to the town once. The town doesn't look impressive at all. The game really expects you to play along and say "I GUESS this looks like a town". The main room of the Boo mansion is bigger than this area.

It's not the best, but I still enjoy it a lot though. It's challenging compared to the newer ones.

Challenging? Really?
Even on Mania, only Abyssion and that duo of soldiers at the very start that you have to solo with Lloyd gave me any trouble (and even that's only because you can easily get trapped and shanked in a corner), and that's assuming you don't just cheese the shit out of Abyssion with Toss Hammer.
The story and characters hold up perfectly fine, but to me the combat is just feels like the awkward transition between 2D and 3D.

>Tall, Tall Mountain
Worst level in the game. Climbing the same mountain multiple times is not fun. Waiting for the slow-ass monkey is not fun. Just about the only enjoyable thing about this stage is the slide. You HAVE to do the slide in order to get the 100 coin star.
>Tiny-Huge Island
Very neat late-game level. Experimenting with the size pipes to figure out the optimal paths around the island is a lot of fun. The one-hit kill fish is a nice touch even if he does become easy to avoid. Wiggle unfortunately is an even easier boss than King Bob-omb.
>Tick Tock Clock
Suffers from the same problem as Tall, Tall Mountain. Saved slightly by the time manipulation gimmick. It's also a lot funner than the mountain on your first run through. Still a bad level.
>Rainbow Ride
Decent. Better than the mountain or the clock. The average player can get four star without ever touching a carpet. Somewhere over the Rainbow is a horseshit mission though. I suppose YMMV on the carpets since they never really bugged me.

I love how kids on here are too stupid and ignorant to appreciate or understand the magnitude and significance of a game like Mario 64. I'm happy modern gaming is a quagmire of shite for you guys. You deserve it.

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I understand its significance.
It's just not a good game, severely outclassed by other 3D platformers of the same generation, even.

I had fun with it on the n64, on the ds lite remake, and on my emulator. it aged fine.