How should I punish my Wii U for taking up space in my house and not providing any form of entertainment in doing so?

How should I punish my Wii U for taking up space in my house and not providing any form of entertainment in doing so?

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Committing suicide in front of it.

wiiu is like 70% of the switch library right now

Cum on it.

Mail it to me

By playing one of its several good games. Its not a huge library but its not a super expensive console either. I mean PS4 has like 5 games, Xbox has Halo I guess, and the WiiU has about 10ish. Its a sad gen, sadder than even the last one, but its passable. N64 didn't have much either and people love that thing.

Stick your Dick in the disc slot

Pack your bags right now and leave it. Don't turn back or call just disappear forever. You deserve better.

put cfw on it

>my console that has the largest exclusive library of the gen, 3 gens of native compatibility, the entire Nintendo back catalog, and other consoles isn't providing me any entertainment
So you don't like video games then?

I just want consoles to roll over and fucking die at this point. What's the point of having something like Bloodborne on only one system if it runs like a fucking slideshow? Sucks, I stopped playing because it feels so bad

Play PuyoPuyo

What the hell was Nintendo thinking making this with HUGE bezels around the screen.

It looks like something out of the Fisher Price section of the toy store.

Its really comfortable to hold. Thats probably what they were aiming for.

It's ergonomic as all fuck.

They put controls and shit on it.

spank it and call it a dirty whore

I disagree with you and, upon hacking it, immediately started to use a PS3 controller instead any time and any game I could.

He's so bitter.

its hard after playing a game like nioh. all that time spent on pretty graphics, and in some of the chalices theres so many blood, spark, and magic effetcs that it runs at sub 20 fps.

>ds3
Opinion discarded.

>Shittalking ANY controller when you prefer DS3
Bruh

>It looks like something out of the Fisher Price section of the toy store.
This is a Wii U thread, not a Switch thread.

I miss the bulkyness of Wii U's gamepad.
The Switch in handheld mode feels so thin and fragile it makes me think I'm going to snap it in two pieces sooner or later.

Switch is just a Wii U 1.5
Switch would be nothing without the Wii U library.

>buy switch
>tape small paper on it that says HI Sup Forums
>smash it and record it on camera
>post webm and anger switchfats

Mod the sucker. Super easy to do, and you get free games and region unlock.

>DS3
>Bad

Not him but come on

True but mainly because Wii U had lots of good games but nobody fucking wanted a Wii U.
Switch brings the Wii Us top tier library to an actual audience

Punish yourself for buying it.

Same with the PS4, as most of it is games from the PS3's library.

>bulkyness

It feels really cheap. Also can we talk about the embarrassing rumble the WiiU gamepad and Pro controller have? What the fuck happened there?

How, he already gave his money to Nintendo. He could smash 100 Switches and this wouldn't change.

But that doesn't punish the Wii U.

PS3 to PS4 ports are proper upgrades though.

Put cfw on it and play the entire nintendo catalog except 3DS

WiiU VC is fucking garbage, mate.

>Mario Kart 8 Deluxe includes characters never seen in Mario Kart 8
>new courses in FAST RMX

What?

Cut it open and replace the inside with a PS TV.

My roommate has a wiiu and won't fucking hack it. He's like "I don't want to brick it". BRICK WHAT???? There's literally no reason to not hack it. Also he literally pays money for older games on it. Sure that's like 10 to 20 bucks, but he works part time at a grocery store and is 31 so he should be saving every penny he has. I just want to scream at him "HACK IT FAGGOT!". I have a switch but don't even bring it in the living room because I'm so bitter about it.

Can't use 360 controllers with it; only dinput controllers worked, or at least worked at the time.

Considering Switch's screen tend to bend, I can't really say which one feels cheaper between the two.

Hacking nigga, you can expand the library

The tablet controller was pretty ergonomic and comfortable as fuck. Sadly, it's features were underused even by Nintendo games and the battery lasts like 5 hours. I think you can still ask for a better one directly from Nintendo.

is its own existence not punishment enough?

>Buy Bayonetta 1/2
>Have some of the most fun you've ever had in video games
>Regain your self-satisfaction
>Homebrew it and play all the games they're porting over to make up the Nintendo Switch """"""Library"""""""
>Feel good about your purchase, buy the next console and skip the (((Switch)))

He said punish, not bring it to orgasm

Homebrew the Wii partition and play he GameCube games and Wii games

>Characters in a racing game
A coat of paint, not substantial content. Battle mode wasn't worth 60 either.

Fast RMX and the other non Nintendo handled ones are the only unJewish WiiU ports

>dual shock 3
>bad
Nu-Sup Forums

Shag it.

Yeah, considering Nintendo loves to port games of the previous console to the newer one, I might as well wait for Switch's successor to come out and buy Switch's games ported to it.

Hack the shit out of it so you can play six generation of Nintendo games on it.

>Yeah, considering Nintendo loves to port games of the previous console to the newer one
They don't, though. They've never done this before with any other console. The Wii U is unique, it's Nintendo's single biggest console failure. Nintendo put 5 years of development into new HD titles for it, and no one bought them. It cost them a lot of money at the time, but now they're bringing them all to a platform people are actually buying, and recouping the losses. This has also had the effect of giving the Switch an artificially large early library, because it's benefiting from an extra 5 years of Nintendo game development.

>They've never done this before with any other console.
Wrong.
The N64 had both Zelda games ported to GC.
The GC had both Zelda games ported as well on Wii and Wii U plus Mario Tennis, both Pikmin games, all Metroid Prime games, DK games that used the bongos and maybe I'm forgetting some.

Fuck it

>The N64 had both Zelda games ported to GC.
>ported

Come on, now. You can dump their Master Quest ROM and play it on PJ64 or an Everdrive.

Also

>implying that was their intent for Master Quest

What's the point of twilight princess and the New Play Control series when the Wii plays their original versions natively?

Stop watching anime.

Switch surpassed every one of those in sheer quantity of ports year 1 alone.

to promote the motion controls. That's exactly why.

Because Nintendo loves to port older games from older consoles. It's sure as fuck not something happening to the Wii U only.

hack it and download free games

put a hotpocket or some pbj in it then microwave it

>he didnt hacked it

How should i reward my WiiU for giving me fre NES, SNES, N64, GBA, DS, GC, Wii and WIiU games + DLC and free online?

N64 only had Zelda games ported as part of an anniversary collection along with WW and the NES/SNES etc titles

WW admittedly was probably convenient for bolstering the Wii U launch lineup but also it was like 2 consoles in the making, we never saw WW ported to the Wii
As for TP that was released really late into the GC life cycle just when the Wii was coming out and was an ideal testbed for Wii motion controls with the slashing and bow aiming aspects. Same IMO for the Metroid Prime series- MP3 was literally never released on GC AFAIK and MP1/2 were only re-released on the Wii U with motion controls over 2 years after the series concluded.

The Wii/GC ports always struck me as afterthoughts to offer fans an upgrade or latecomers an opportunity, never as crude attempts to salvage money by bailing games from a poorly-marketed dying system to a well-marketed new exciting one
Like the Switch ports

Well, let's look at Nintendo-produced previous-gen ports over time

SNES
>Super Mario All Stars
Gameboy Color
>Link's Awakening DX
N64
>Nothing
Gameboy Advance
>Nothing
Gamecube
>The Legend of Zelda Collector's Edition
Nintendo DS
>Nothing
Wii
>Twilight Princess
>Chibi-Robo!
>Donkey Kong Jungle Beat
>Mario Power Tennis
>Metroid Prime
>Metroid Prime 2
>Pikmin
>Pikmin 2
DS
>Nothing
Wii U
>Nothing
Switch
>Breath of the Wild
>Mario Kart 8
>Pokken Fighters
>Bayonetta 1&2
>Hyrule Warriors
>DKC Tropical Freeze

"it'll be worth something somday"

I wasn't talking about the library. Of course I know about injections

They've been doing it since the SNES.
Also a few games got ported from GC to Wii.

Check two posts above you. That have done it sporadically over time. Really there's two significant events to look at here, the New Play Control! series on Wii, and the mass exodus of games from the Wii U to the Switch. These are the only two times Nintendo has mass ported software from the previous gen.

>Bayonetta 1&2
What do you mean, "Bayonetta 1&2"?

what the fuck do you mean what does he mean?

B-But Sup Forums told me it is the Dreamcast of this generation

sold mine 2 weeks ago for $200

...They're porting Bayonetta 1 and 2 to the Switch?
They're literally porting the port? After releasing B1 on PC even?

Switch is getting Bayo 1+2 ports handled by Platinum themselves. And Bayonetta 3 will be Switch exclusive.
youtube.com/watch?v=Ti-i40Ez6KY

Were you living under a rock or something this December?

Cum several times on it then smear your shit into the disc drive then box it up and sell it to gamestop

I was away visiting family, so yes
>They're porting Bayonetta 1 & 2 making my Wii U purchase now officially pointless
>In addition I am only now finding out that Bayonetta 3 is in production for the Switch