MESOAMERICAN RPG

MESOAMERICAN RPG
FUCKING
WHEN

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Whenever people finally get the fuck over Medieval Europe.

This sounds like it could be the craziest shit ever, and I want it so bad.

Whenever you kill yourself. Get on that so the rest of us can play.

So... never? Even Japan is crazy over Medieval/Classical Europe. Even China is. Because it's the tightest shit in the world. Imagine never having heard of Rome, or Aachen, or Charlemagne, or the crusades. It would fucking rule to just watch documentaries on it and see the antics the Euros got up to.

If it happens, I want the lead to be female. Not for diversity reasons, but because I want to play a qt brown girl the entire game.

It'll happen eventually. People can only stomach the same "castles and forests" shit for so long. Fatigue will set in.

Try Aztez already?

No one wants to play as a fucking beaner

You say that, but it's been going strong since the 1950's, my dude. Medieval settings are ubiquitous and will remain popular, like cyber-punk or space settings.

So all these kids, yeah, all these kids are told that because they're pure and innocent god will protect them, so the church plans to abuse this mechanic and says fuck it, send an army of kids, god will protect em and they'll wipe out the Islamic menace.

Fuckers never made it close to Jerusalem, they all got sold off into slavery because of fucking course

You can blow natives the fuck out in Expeditions: Conquistador.

It is beyond question the coolest historical setting so I doubt that'll happen.

Just wait for /vp/ to finish their Pokémon game

this reads like a 'drunk history' episode

Dude, the entire Enrico Dandolo/Venice/Constantinople saga is worthy of a blockbuster movie in and of itself. It's got everything that makes a good story, and it's actually fucking history.

It's absolutely astonishing how much culture Europe has packed into such a tiny place.

Yes, I'm sure of that too. I mean: how long has this fad being going on? It not like such craze can last for century or anything!
It has been going on for a century and there is absolutely no reason to assume it's going to end in your fucking lifetime.

m'lady

I mean, if you want to get pedantic about it, the Medieval Europe craze has been going on since the 1600's, in both Japan and Europe. The Japs couldn't get enough of European culture when the Dutch sold them books. It's how they managed to become a world power instead of declining like every other non-Euro country.

European history and culture are fucking amazing but you have to admit that all the crazy Aztec lore and shit could make for a fascinating and unique video game.

Whenever the mudskins of the shithole that mesoamerica became get their heads out of their asses and start developing some games. So literally never.

neutered gay WoW / Kingdoms of Amalur type of settings are unappealing but when you put in a genuine effort to make it feel like it's a different time and not just a renaissance fair, they're the best

Yeah, but I'm just explaining why Medieval Europe will always be a popular setting in fictional works. It just... works.

Besides, there isn't much you could do in the way of weapons in Central America. They barely had bronzeworking, and their weapons were designed to incapacitate instead of kill. Maybe a stealth/rpg/action game could work?

Soul Hackers is Cyberpunk + MesoAmerican mythology.

>Besides, there isn't much you could do in the way of weapons in Central America.
I don't know, man, the macuahuitl is pretty gnarly
>Maybe a stealth/rpg/action game could work?
That sounds neat but you'd also have to throw their crazy pantheon of gods into the mix. There's a lot you could do with that.

Ay yi yi yi yi dios mio, necesitas muchos tamales ese

Imagine an rpg where you're the guy who establishes the Aztec power. You get married to a princess but your first act is to skin her alive and wear her skin as an insult to her father. Result is a war where you heroically defeat all the other tribes, make their women your slaves and their men as sacrifices.

You could get new skill levels for magical abilities by doing sacrifices for specific gods, like stranging little children for the god of rain, or decapitating sexy female dancers during an orgy to make a sacrifice for the goddess of fertility. Phoenix Downs would be the skins you wear of your enemies that you skinned alive in a ritual to appease the skinned god.

Yeah I keep forgetting it's real because it sounds like absolute bullshit

Aw fuck if you like that, the scotch in our family can be traced back to one fucker who tagged along with the king and a whole bunch of angry Scots because, fuck it, they liked to fight, god liked when you fought in crusades, they'd give this whole fighting in the Holy Land thing a go. Along the way they took a detour to Spain because they were having a little problem with the moors.

A lot of problem with the moors. Holy shit, fucking moors. Then the king fucking died. To fucking moors.

Morale...Morale was low. The moors were threatening to break the line and make a complete mess of the Scots before they even reached the middle east. The english would NEVER let them live it down. My ancestor said balls to that.

He grabbed the kings corpse and roared out "you see your king, go and get him" then reared back and threw the fucker as far into the moor lines as possible. The moors weren't ready for the very Scottish thing that happened next, as by damn, they went and fucking got him, then kept going and getting some moor ass for good measure, sending the fuckers into a retreat.

Feeling that the fucking English wouldn't have shit to say about that, the Scots then meandered there way back on yo the actual crusade, or so family history tells me. I liked the story so much I ain't verified it in case it was a folk tale.

Argonian warrior in Skyrim Tropical Mod m8. It's really fun!

not him and i would really love a meso-american game, but i too find it doubtful people would ever get tired of Medieval Europe

speaking of Conquistador, i think that type of gameplay would be perfect to indtroduce players to a civilization they're largely unaware of

>stealth
Plz no. Mesoamerican culture (Particularly Aztec) is the perfect backdrop for a fun gory action game.

Hopefully never, South American culture as a whole is a complete piece of garbage.
You may think you want it if you're unfamiliar with it, but you don't, the designs are all the same, bland as fuck and the least interesting religion in history.

Why would it be a problem to incapacitate instead of killing in a rpg?

uhh
were they really that edgy or is this just a stereotype

I don't think I'd ever tire of Medieval Europe settings as long as it's not the old and tired tolkienesque fantasy Europe. On a side-note, fuck, man, make more games set in the 18 century.

I saw this youtubers and it looks fun

youtu.be/MjLPKif7mAk

Nah the east has some nutty shit too, China alone is fucking nuts.

One time a neet who failed the civil servant test multiple times heard about christianity, and decided he was Jesus. 20 years later 30 million people had died from the war.
They used to regularly use rivers and dams to wipe entire cities out in warfare.

It's not even the real medieval Europe, just the generic pop history version with the interesting parts left out

If there weren't multiple accounts of the bullshittery going on, I wouldn't believe it either.

>Some old dude born in fucking 1107 would end up getting all his shit stolen while being a diplomat some 60 years later
>He ends up becoming the fucking Doge of Venice at the ripe, young age of 85
>For the next 13 years, he would do all in his power to end the Byzantines, and would succeed in getting them TURK'D just 250 years after he died.
>He personally offers to pay for ALL of the ships for the crusaders in his city if they'd just capture this one little city that was resisting Venetian control
>The dumbshit crusaders actually manage to do it, the absolute madmen
>Now that they've been excommunicated, Dandolo, who is like 90 something and BLIND at this time, convinces the crusaders to sack Constantinople
>Not only that, but he buys a 3/7ths stake in the newly weakened Byzantium and backs an usurper king to sow political strife
>The crusaders, led by a 90-something old blind guy manage to actually cripple the last remains of the Roman Empire
>The crusade was an absolute trainwreck, but at least Dandolo finally got his revenge on the Byzantines who wronged him

Like, I've never seen someone hate an entire race of people so much since Frederick II of Prussia. Not even Hitler was as angry at any one race as Dandolo was at the Byzantines.

I wish more games would draw from the insane parts of history like that.
or stuff like this, imagine a game with this art style.

>One time a neet who failed the civil servant test multiple times heard about christianity, and decided he was Jesus.
>20 years later 30 million people had died from the war.
Wh-what

Could have it set during conquistadors tines so diversity of western and tribal weapons. Or just make it fantasy. I'm sure the gods had some gnarly weapons. Maybe even the ball game they used to play as a mini game.
The mythology is pretty epic. Even a vague Atlantis connection in its history for magic/ technology aspects.

Yeah I'd play the shit out of it. Just need a smooth movement mechanic through the dense jungles and ability to climb trees like Tarzan for stealth kills etc.

And poison blowdarts. And jaguar summons. Oooh and human sacrifices. And ancient temples to explore. And cannibals. And piranhas and alligators. And el Dorado.

They were that edgy because they were ignorant fuckers who somehow managed to kill the small smart percentage of their population and kept sacrificing childrens to the sun God for no particular reason.
Mesoamerican culture is garbage, but lots of people specially the ones who have no clue about it like to fantasize about it being cool and all.

It's not Pokemon. You don't get money and items from knocking out your enemies.

Though I suppose they could make the weapons lethal by imbuing them with elemental magic and shit.

Yes. They really were. When it comes to religious sacrifices, aztecs were THE most extreme about it. Only thing that comes close in Europe are gladiator/entertainment arenas in Rome. Human sacrifices were common in Mayan and Inca empires too but Aztecs took it all to way beyond crazy limits. Some historians think its partially because Aztecs were also cannibals and the corpses that got tossed away after rituals were usually chopped down and used as priced meat for the nobility.

Thats typically how Chinas history goes down, something stupid happens, millions die. They've had wars and manmade disasters that wipe out multiple percents of the global human population quite regularly.

It's edgy, stupid, and over the top to the point where it becomes funny.

>There are people who haven't heard of the Heavenly Kingdom
I envy you, reading up on that was fucking fantastic

It's too racist.

And DMT trips to commune with the gods and gain new skills.

XVIIIth century where?
me, I'd like a Cromwell / Thirty Years' War era game, though admittedly the No Man's Land in TW3 scratched the 30yo war itch to an extent.

Tai ping rebellion. Chinese christians with a leader who thought was reincarnated Jesus. Ironically manchus made a deal with the western world to exterminate them.

Sounds like you'd like what they did for the mesoamerican stuff in the Dominions games. They even have that Atlantis connection.

>there will NEVER be a good pike and shot game

>Zhang Xun had long wanted to give the Yan morale a major blow, and the best way to do this would be to hurt or kill the Yan general Yin Ziqi. However, in an age before photography, the problem was that Zhang had no idea what Yin Ziqi looked like, not to mention he would be in a mix of soldiers. Zhang therefore turned to psychology. He ordered his troops to shoot weeds, instead of arrows, at a few enemy soldiers. When these soldiers noticed that they were being shot by weeds, hence were not killed, they were overjoyed. They promptly ran to Yin Ziqi to report that the Tang army had already run out of arrows. Zhang Xun noticed where the soldiers ran and ordered his best archers to shoot at Yin Ziqi. One such arrow hit Yin Ziqi in his left eye, throwing the Yan army instantly into chaos. The siege ended with the expected major blow to the Yan morale.
Holy shit

The wise man: a light, a torch, a stout torch that does not smoke.
A perforated mirror, a mirror pierced on both sides.
His are the black and red ink, his are the illuminated manuscripts, he studies the illuminated manuscripts.
He himself is writing and wisdom.
He is the path, the true way for others.
He directs people and things; he is a guide in human affairs.
Teacher of truth, he never ceases to admonish.
He makes wise the countenances of others; to them he gives a face; he leads them to develop it.
He opens their ears; he enlightens them.
He puts a mirror before others, he makes them prudent, cautious; he causes a face to appear on them.
He attends to things; he regulates their path, he arranges and commands.
He applies his light to the world.
Thanks to him people humanize their will and receive a strict education.

>there will never be a game where you learn Aztec philosophy

That's not as crazy as when the (I think either Genoans or Pisans) asked fucking LEONARDO DAVINCI to divert a goddamned river to try and win a war.

Or when the Romans decided Carthage broke the NAP by not moving their entire city 30 km inland, and then razed the city, salted the Earth, and built them a new city 30 km inland.

Though the Mongols, Chinks, Japs, Gooks, and SEA monkeys also did some crazy shit. Japan's invasion of Korea in 1600 is a fucking historical drama if I've ever seen one. Admiral Yi-Sun (a commoner/"criminal" released from jail like he's fucking Puri Puri Prisoner being released to stop the ayy lmaos from invading A-city) inventing the Turtle Ship to kill millions of Jap noblemen is choice.

Medieval Europe is the only place that had heroes, so it's the only place where stories about heroes can be set, easy.

Sounds great. Devs should get on this. Realistically though is the market big enough?
Don't wanna be mean but ain't no way anyone in the Asian market gonna play as a brown person....

>Medieval Europe is the only place that had heroes

>Medieval Europe is the only place that had heroes
>he thinks romanticized medieval Europe is the same thing as real medieval Europe
Jesus

>Aztecs
>Jungles
uhhhh

This is what modern Tenochtitlan looks like. It's in the middle of a desert and near some mountains. The Mayans kinda lived in the jungle, but also mostly on the Yucatan Peninsula. Palenque got reclaimed by a jungle, but the Mayans probably deforested a lot of the surrounding area for farming before they collapsed.

River diverting warfare was regularly practiced in China. They even did it to the Japs in WW2

tfw when you can see a castle from your window so castles become mondane to you

that's an impressive amount of hate

didn't they incapacitate their enemies so they could be sacrificed later?
you could always be payed for each capture
might be fun to drag people back to the temple or whatever

Name one culture group, that isn't European, that's not the villain?

This. If you accurately depict Aztec culture, you're a racist for making brown people look like crazy lunatics. If you don't, you're whitewashing their culture.

Just like how Firaxis got turned on by SJWs for trying to be inclusive and include the Cree. Some Cree fucks and SJWs whined loudly at them for "disrespecting Cree culture" because you can conquer other civs as the Cree, and apparently they never went to war.

The Egyptians also tried it to an extent.

But even more crazy than anything the Chinese did is anything the Romans did. Those fuckers were downright magical with how hilarious their history is. And also how badass their history was. Julius Caesar crossing the Rubicon is probably the single most badass moment in human history, and Augustus was almost as cool.

Have you ever been so mad at someone that you would lead an army to their doorstep while 95 and also blind?

>That's not as crazy as when the (I think either Genoans or Pisans) asked fucking LEONARDO DAVINCI to divert a goddamned river to try and win a war.

Diverting rivers is a very old method, even used by Alexander, common tactic used by the mongols too before they managed to get middle-eastern engineers to create Trebuchets for them.

>hunter gatherers
>not slaughtering each other's small tribe over hunting ground
Bullshit.

Mesoamerican mythology is some rad shit.

Saturn or 3DS?

While I agree, it simply has to be Alexander the Great as the single most shenanigans person in history. He was a fucking legend and had hardcore fans for centuries, the Romans venerated the dude.

Patapon 3

Would "new world" history be better represented in modern culture if any of those civilizations actually kept written history?

Fucking chubby chasers.

this reads like some hentai or some shit

Alexander, Julius Caesar, and Genghis Khan are probably the 3 most venerated generals in human history. And also the craziest. Just the amount of bullshittery those three pulled off cements them in every textbook worth a damn.

Also, I'd still argue that Caesar was more badass than Alexander. Caesar wasn't just a great general, but he was also a great politician, poet, orator, strategist, and explorer. The dude was one of the first Romans ever to set foot on Britain, and that's after he defeated a 300,000k strong Gaelic army. Just for reference, the army that Caesar managed to defeat was only 20k shy of modern France's army. Caesar even bought the loyalty of his own legions and owned 1/3rd of fucking Europe. Like, personally. Caesar personally owned 1/3rd of Europe, from Italy up to modern day Aachen through Paris, and down to Spain.

3DS is the only translated version and has some extra content. And some weird bugs.

Definitely. The reason Japanese, Chinese, European, and Arab cultures are so well represented is because they kept written records, and well documented ones at that. India is an anomaly, but they mostly exist on their own corner of the internet, and probably have tons of video games, movies, and tv shows venerating their own culture.

>implying every game isn't someones first game. You act like the population of the planet is unchanging and everyone has played every game to ever exist

Not the way how native americans used to wage war. Their wars were also more like games where you showed your bravery by stealing property from rival tribes, after whites introduced horses into America, horses became the usual commodity for this. So their "wars" were really just a lot of skirmishes performed by small squads, usually the aim to steal and otherwise shame the other tribe somehow. Bonus points if you capture an enemy warrior so your tribe can torture him to death before scalping (or during scalping).

If a tribe grew too weak and became easy for a takeover, stronger tribe usually took over and made them slaves without killing too many of them, usual victims the spear-wielders of each dream society (like a clan within a clan or a hobby club) because they had to make the vow of never surrendering in a battle.

They are lost to Spain.

Yeah, but those civilizations also "won" the world, so to speak.

Think about it like this, Carthage also kept written records, but that didn't stop the Romans from making sure that nobody in the future would know ANYTHING about Carthaginian history. Who's to say New World history wouldn't have been erased in a similar manner?

youtube.com/watch?v=Et3eVcMdxBI&t=97s
No wonder they are disappeared after that shit. God is punishing for this in the Punisher style.

The Spanish did burn Aztec chronicles, true, but even then, Nahuatl and whatever the fucking Mayans spoke were the only 2 written languages in the entirety of the Americas. Even Africa had 3 native scripts (Egyptian ,Ge'ez, and Coptic)

What are you even trying to say you absolute sperg?

Learning about that children's crusade blew my fucking mind. Funny how this was never, ever even mentioned in all 12 years of public schooling. Imagine having to explain that to the people:
>You know how we said your kids would win this crusade for us because they are innocent and God will protect them?
>yeeaaahhhh, I'm afraid those kids aren't coming back, maybe you should have prayed a little harder.
>huh, what? Sold them into slavery? No idea what you're talking about.

Bullshit we have a hero named battal gazi who kicked byzantine ass in anatolia. His sons and grandsons were also named like this so there were generations of him kicking byzantine ass from horseback.

Didn't some tribes in the Andes use knots on a string to "write" messages?

Yes. The sheer number of nasty sacrifices they made was unique but the imaginative ways of torture and killing weren't, plenty of worse examples exist. Assyrians liked to skin and burn people alive as well, women and children included. Persians had probably one of the most fucked up and disgusting methods of executions in history called "Scaphism".

>Who's to say New World history wouldn't have been erased in a similar manner?
Spaniards.

That's the catch. There was a LOT of written histories that are forever lost due to war, time, and collapse. A lot of Central and South American history were lost due to the Spanish pretty much stamping out their culture as hard as they could. We're lucky that a few missionaries actually took the time to write down their practices and histories and preserved them, as incomplete and somewhat biased as they are.

I mean, just off the top of my head:
>Linear A (Minoans)
>Rongorongo (Rapa Nui)
>Indus script (proto-India)
>Olmec
>Quipus (Incas)

youtube.com/watch?v=H1_0qnSNBZ0&t=13s
Now I like Spartans even more.

>try mesoamerican RPG
>get stung by mosquito
>die

"Some tribes"

It was the Incans, the most advanced Native Americans, by a long shot. They even outdid the Aztecs in sheer engineering creativity. Plus, they bred the potato into being the huge calorie bomb it is today. Oh, and they had a fuckhuge empire with surprisingly modern roads, the most modern that had existed in all of the New World well into the 1700's.

Yup, Quipu. It was originally thought to just be a way of keeping tallies and logs of transactions, but there's more evidence mounting up that it's actually a form of writing.

>Rongorongo

Shit, the people on Easter Island also had their own system of writing? What the fuck were they on to be so prolific in the middle of bumfuck nowhere?

The Assyrians lasted for song long because they were so brutal. Because Mesopotamia could be invaded from literally every direction quite easily, and rebellions would often end in your city being wiped off of the maps by the rebelling forces, they would go full Mongol on those opposing them.

And really, the Assyrians weren't anywhere near as bad as the Mongols. Nor were they or the Persians as creative as the Mesoamericans when it came to torture and sacrifice.

The Carthaginians would throw children into a cave that was on fire as a ritualistic sacrifice