Who would win?

Who would win?

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Samus, especially if she's wearing the X-parasite suit.

The thing can only mimic biological material, and it's weak against fire. As long as it doesn't break into her airtight suit, it should die pretty easily to a couple blasts of superheated plasma from that gun.

Aren't the X-parasites basically just the thing?

WHAT IF A PHAZON SUN COLLIDED WITH A THING SUN
AND THEN COLLIDED WITH THE RESULT OF A COLLISION BETWEEN A FLOOD SUN AND AN X-PARASITE SUN

>Aren't the X-parasites basically just the thing?
Somewhat, but X parasites can also infect non-organic material, machines, etc... actually making them more dangerous than the thing.

The thing is all about social manipulation games. Metroid games typically don't involve being social, at least not on the level the thing would need in order to properly exploit and then kill.

If she was forced into a situation with friends/family + the thing, she'd still win, but the cost to her psyche would probably cause her to kill herself after being forced to murder those she holds dear.

>but the cost to her psyche would probably cause her to kill herself after being forced to murder those she holds dear.
Does Samus even have anyone left?

I think the thing would kill Jennifer Aniston in cosplay.

What if all that stuff crashed into the collision of an x-parasite sun with a brother moon?

Depends on where she meets The Thing. If it were an isolated space station or a planet devoid of life, The Thing would have little to no material to work with and would get toasted. If it landed on a planet with abundant animal life and got a roll on, I can't think of many things that would be able to stop it.

Can the Thing remodel her shithole?

>non-organic material
The B.O.X. robot had an organic nervous system to control it. It was partially organic. That's what the X infected. X can only copy organic matter and replace the matter they destroyed.

No, The X-Parasites can't infect 100% inorganic material. The corrupted power suit that was cut off of samus was semi-organic which is why the SA-X was a 1:1copy of Samus. The Ing from Metroid Prime 2 could posses fucking anything because they were interdimensional ghosts, but unlike the X-Parasite they can't recreate living matter.

>scanning...
>Biomorph: Changeling
>Sensors indicate Biomorph possesses advanced tissue regeneration and the ability to manipulate its physical structure on the cellular level. Recommend freezing before vaporizing with 28000 K Plasma discharge.

>The Thing develops a shit ton of fetishes
>It starts morphing people to reflect them

Old Bird, if he's still kicking like in the comics... That's about it.

>The thing is all about social manipulation games.
That may have only been because of the environment we saw The Thing in where it could only imitate humans. In a different setting it may take a more direct approach.

No, Samus spends all her downtime in space bars looking for weird alien dicks to help her forget her crippling loneliness.

No
I'm guessing you aren't familiar with Samus? Who was basically raised by a tribe of alien birds that no longer exist.
She's basically the Kurt Russel character

Weak against cold too. And Samus just happens to have an ice beam handy.

I think the Metroid Prime (the creature, that is) is actually closer since it can imitate the form of anything it wants and has apparently gone from planet to planet consuming them.

metroid.wikia.com/wiki/Metroid_Prime_(creature)

People give Metroid Prime 2 a lot of shit but it was probably the most personal mission for Samus if you ignore all the Adam shit. The Luminoth were like spiritual brothers to the Chozo that raised Samus. They were wise and peaceful wayfarers bordering on extinction. Samus was born too late to save the Chozo but she was able to save the Luminoth. The ending to Metroid Prime 2 with Samus walking into the light and all the luminoth bowing to her is like a burden has lifted off her shoulders.

Metroid is one of those series where if you're a fan you pretty much have to make your own head-canon and disregard the shitty parts that are from "official" sources. The idea of Samus, specifically the western idea of her, is the real Samus in my mind. Fusion and Other M were made by Japanese dudes who didn't really get what people liked about the character.

Samus, and easily at that.

Fusion was good though.

It is good that doesn't mean what he isn't true.

From a gameplay perspective.

Basically this, if The Thing gets the element of surprise then it will almost always win, but if Samus sees it coming then she'll almost always win too

Her character in Fusion doesn't even directly contradict her character. I can see Prime Samus and Fusion Samus as the same person.

Even if it tries to assimilate her there's no guarantee it would succeed since she has Chozo DNA infused into her body that might resist The Thing.

>but the cost to her psyche would probably cause her to kill herself after being forced to murder those she holds dear

Justice will prevail and all that stuff... right, Samus?

Samus wins 9-1. This is one of her best match-ups. Killing squicky space aliens is sort of her THING ya know

As of Fusion she would literally eat it, and pre-Fusion I can't see any way for the Thing to pierce the suit in the one attack it might have before Samus annihilates it.

It's been shown to be vulnerable to regular fire and ice, and dynamite was a viable weapon against it. Samus should be able to kill The Thing with a single shot of anything except the power beam.

I fucking liked that guy, that purple bitch and the other dude I could kill but fighting him actually hurt.

He was best boy

Samus, is this even a question?