Would you fuck this?

Huh? HUH!?

Yes

How is that even a question?

I mean, it wouldn't be my first choice, but we had a thread about this like two days ago already

Her and Miranda were my favorites. I still day dream about burying my tongue up their asses

Given how you literally meld minds with them to have a mental and physical orgasm at the same time, anyone who says they wouldn't fuck an asari is a goddamn liar.

>psychic aliens who mindhack you into seeing them as attractive
>matriarchy society, no men allowed
>their idea of sex is mindraping you and taking your genetic information
>your kids will always be asari females no matter what

yeah nah, I'll pass. Stick to humans.

Yeah, I'm the same fag.

No. Ashley is superior.

Can you even?

There's actually no proof that they're biologically fuckable other than that "azure" thing from the DLC in ME2. Bitch I aint havin' no mind sex with you if my dick aint getting in.

Yeah.

How is that even a question, you casual?
Pic related is more like a real challenge

throw some tits on it or give me a bottle of bad dragon lube
or both
im on it

>who mindhack you into seeing them as attractive
when will this meme theory die? three drunkards in a random planet say this while drunk, woah, must be real

>t. An asari

It has nice boobs and it isn't obese. Given the opportunity, yes.

Patricians choose Jack

no
>inb4 used goods
Jack had a hard life

>psychic aliens who mindhack you into seeing them as attractive
Ah, you're an idiot. That explains it.

I'd lick her jaw desu
Didn't even play ME

Jack doesn't even qualify for used goods, she's more town bicycle, or in her case it would be galaxy bicycle.

She's a cute virgin princess in Mass Effect that turns into a powerful biotic shadow broker by 3, and not only still loves you, but explicitly wants to have your kids. Her being from a matriarchal society doesn't seem to matter.

Liara was objectively the best waifu. Meek, intelligent, and loyal.

By her stories it sounds like a lot of the sex she had was either due to manipulation or full out rape (after escaping Cerberus, Purgatory, and probably other prison), she might not just be a total slut

Not much good came out of Andromeda, but Vetra was fun. Do female turians have boobs? It was hard to tell based on her figure alone.

Depends if she has a dick

I want to fuck Wrex

No. Turians are avian. Birds don't get tits, they have a cloaca though for dicks.

>Meek and loyal

In the first game, maybe. But did you see what kind of big-tittied psycho-cunt she became after that? BioWare turned best waifu into... blue-skinned Jack.

What about butts? Vetra had hips but again, her ass (if any) was difficult to discern.

... Now I'm wondering why a species that reproduces via eggs would need wide hips.

>she might not just be a total slut

She only told us about the sex that was under dubious definitions of consent, she's likely had sex with many other people before that just like Miranda's assumed to have a voracious sexual appetite (confirmed by Shadow Broker.)

I actually don't know, I don't even know HOW they birth their young, I just know for sure that they're an avian species and don't have tits.

This. Add tits to anything and it becomes instantly fuckable.

Is that why so many people fuck your mom.

I don't recall much of the Shadow Broker DLC other than that we help her take control of the Shadow Broker ship and she then uses that to help you in the campaign. It's true that she kind of loses her meek quality, but she's still loyal.

It's sad to me that there was no romance options for Liara in ME3.

>avian
>doesn't have tits

Oh-ho-ho!

...

>not choosing best girl

There totally were, you just had to romance her prior to ME3. If you did, she had a pretty broad number of romance interactions, including two sex scenes (with the Citadel DLC) with full frontal ass action.

Did Bioware go out of their way to make all the female human romance options terrible?

That can't be true, I mean you're a virgin.

I'd fuck pretty much anything in the Mass Effect universe except I guess Volus and that's only because I have no idea if they're actually some hideous naked-mole-rate looking things inside that suit.

>caring about asari after me:a tumblrified them

>It's sad to me that there was no romance options for Liara in ME3.

If you haven't fucked her by 3, you're never going to fuck her.

>including two sex scenes (with the Citadel DLC) with full frontal ass action.
I never picked up ME3 after beating it, what sort of full frontal ass action are we talking about here?

big
blue
cock

>Hating Miranda

We're talking about Asari before Mass Effect: Andromeda.

As in, you see Liara's big beautiful blue butt.

And she works out.

I'll have to keep this in mind the next time I play through the trilogy.

>absolutely terrifying enemies
>still pop a boner over that preggo belly

Oh, so THIS is what terrible taste looks like.

Better terrible taste than no taste at all.

Wait, which of those points were supposed to be negative?

There's no fucking way this is part of the in-game model. BioWare wouldn't even show bare breasts until ME:A.

It is. I've seen it myself. First time I came across it was in the Ardat-Yakshi monastery in ME3.

I guarantee if you're able to get a view on it you'll see it.

She is visually unappealing in almost every way for me.

I'm looking for big blue butt on YouTube, I can't find it.

Here: Hot Jack. Provided BioWare isn't allowed behind the wheel, she can be perfectly serviceable.

>not being human supremacist Shepard
>not waifuing soldier-turned-bimbo Ashley
>not making love to her in the missionary position for procreation

>BioWare wouldn't even show bare breasts until ME:A.

They modeled Iron Bull's horse-cock in Inquisition, along with the breasts of every romanceable female character in the game.

...

There's negative points?

That's a really nice butt. Guess I've got a new girl to romance.

Why don't they show any of it in-game? Giant tits and horse cocks aren't as much fun when you have to go digging through a third-party model viewer to see them.

Now I want to play ME 1 through 3 again. Shame ME 1 is so fucking slow.

You can skip it with Genesis and have zero consequences

Because people'd throw a fucking fit.

>Why don't they show any of it in-game?

just Sup Forums sperging out if women are doing anything

They got away with it in ME:A. Hell, they got away with it with Sara Ryder, who I'm pretty sure was written to be the most retardedly innocent protagonist ever conceived.

...

>Cassandra's face is a scarred and aged disaster
>has immaculate tits

She must moisturize.

Yeah, but I think they might've still been concerned with the people that were bitching about the "sex" scenes in ME1; just keep it "censored" for that trilogy.

Remember when Cassandra was a cutie patootie in Dragon Age 2?

Is it the SFM version that has a penis? This is important to know.

Is there a word for Bioware's current technique for writing dialogue? I can't quite think of one that hits the mark.

Sara is retardedly hot
Had to say it

The people Bioware cater to eat that shit up, they love nude models and shitty romance because they're hopeless nerds who can't get any sex too.

Apparently Banshee's took away the mystique regarding asari genitalia. They have vaginas, and they don't look particularly alien too me.

You know, I've tried Genesis. Maybe I'll do that for this playthrough.

No. I haven't got my gay options for these threads yet.

Pretty sure there's a codex entry out there that says Turians give live birth. Salarians are the only ones with cloacas.

there are no male asaris. every asari is neutrum. they make you see them as attractive [whatever floats your boat]. Krogan would see a blue female krogan, Turians would see a lanky turian female. Humans would see a fertile blue female human. Femshep sees a female version because she's a dyke. Any male romances of hers are not canon. If a 4channer would see an Asari they'd present themself as a hot 2d loli. that's why asari are the master race

Fuck, *never tried.

in inquisition you find out she secretly schlicks to romance novels

cute desu

Whedonesque. Everyone's a smartass who communicates through quips and oneupsmanship

"Tumblr"

They use the tumblr method of characterization, but they forgot that someone competent has to create a strong foundation for the characters first

How original. They did that for Kasumi too.

Do yourselves a favor and YouTube the ending credits. Cassandra reads one off Varric's shitty romance novels and spergs out. It's fucking adorable.

Then my answer is yes.

I know, it's adorable but I still think it would've been better if she stayed as she was in 2. Girl got way too old, way too fast.

Oh, and why are all Bioware girls a standardized physique? Jack's the only girl with small tits in the entire galaxy, while nobody has tits larger than a handful?

>fucking aliens
No, it's disgusting.
Also, reminder that Mass Effect fans are all degenerates with wider sexual fetishes.

Maybe they're like a kiwi.

also Varric wrote the novel and holds the ending over her head, its funny.

Because flat women aren't women at all.

Kasumi feels like the most forgettable character in the series, up there with Kaiden.

K E L L Y

C
H
A
M
B
E
R
S

But even Varric said it's shitty. Anyway, whole quest made me regret I chose Josephine in first playthrough.

Do turian mandibles have nerves? If I tore one off, would it hurt?

I didn't say she's good. I'm saying BioWare can't write for shit.

I don't think so. It's an exoskeleton. I think it'd hurt if you started fucking with what's underneath.