Here's the truth about the switch's new gimmick

Here's the truth about the switch's new gimmick.
Reviewers are going to say it's absolutely amazing, a console seller if there ever was one!
Everyone's going to buy it. It'll be considered a great success.
Everyone will play with it for 20 - 30 minutes. Then when the gimmicky nature wears off they will realize... that's all there is to it. A gimmick.
And into the recycling it goes.
But it'll be too late. By the time everyone realizes it's garbage their hype will drive even more sales and when it wears off, no one will say anything at all.
You know it to be true.

The announcement for this thing reminded me that literally nobody cares about us. Nintendo seemed like the only company that wanted to make games instead of home-system pachinko machines, but now they've made it clear once again that their target audience is stupid kids and manchildren that think collectathons and artsncrafts are fun. And of course anyone who sees genuine complaints will spout the "no fun allowed" and "just let people enjoy things" memes.

I play video games to escape from the reality that I have no impact or say in what happens in the world because of my uselessness, not to live it all over again.

ITT: Grown Men literally throwing temper tantrums about Nintendo releasing a game that's obviously for grade schoolers.

Everything Nintendo releases is for gradeschoolers.

Please tell me you're actually getting paid, and not shilling cardboard for free.

kids will only play with boxes for a few minutes at most

Where the fuck do you retards get the idea that reviewers suck Nintendo's cock 24/7? They have consistently been shown to be impartial about them and ESPECIALLY about their hardware
>literally all reviewers criticised Mario Odyssey's forced motion controls
>literally all reviewers mentioned breakable weapons in BotW
>literally all reviewers mentioned being unable to charge and prop up the Switch at the same time
Seriously, fuck this board. Hate Nintendo if you want, but at least do your fucking research.

those same reviewers gave mario oddysey and botw 9 and 10/10 scores despite all their flaws.

Yet the scores they give are outrageously high.

Those games do deserve those scores though. Hell, even a 10/10 doesn't mean flawless, it just means its fun factor is through the roof.
Even Arlo, who called BotW the best game of 2017, stated the game has a lot to improve on.

>>literally all reviewers criticised Mario Odyssey's forced motion controls
>>literally all reviewers mentioned breakable weapons in BotW
Yet both of these games have a 95+ Metacritic score
>>literally all reviewers mentioned being unable to charge and prop up the Switch at the same time
And yet praise the shit out of the Switch and call it revolutionary

10/10 literally means flawless.

Nintendo literally has the power to shame and discredit reviewers they don't like, though.

And they only "rent out" their review stuff, keeping a very strict list of who they deem acceptable.

>10/10 doesn't mean it's flawless
>It just means its fun factor is through the roof
You're a fucked up kid, user.

>Hell, even a 10/10 doesn't mean flawless

>reposting a pasta
Must be really threatened by Nintendo

>Threatened
Yeah, that MUST be it

By your logic a game about nothing would be flawless.

I bet you retards also think 5/10 means average.

No, BotW is not flawless

It's a normal distribution around 5 with a SD of approximately 5/4 points for me.

BotW is not flawless but it is a 9/10.

It's a solid 6/10. It lacks so much content compared to other open-world games. Comparing it to AC: Origins is just embarrassing.

>Mediocre world building
>Bad characterisation
>Dull as fuck gameplay
>Okay controls though, kinda
>9/10

You forgot the free +4 points for being a zelda game.

I'm going to buy a labo just to make you shit-taste faggots mad.

Oh shit! I'm scared now. I sure hope you don't take pictures of yourself using it and post them here!

the "reviewers sucking nintendo's cock" effect, as it's called

>I'm gonna waste 60 bucks to make people on an anonymous board mad!
I couldn't care less what you spend your money on, I just hope everytime you see the labo in your room you remember me so I can live in your head for free.

You now realize Sup Forumsintendo is going to buy a bunch of fucking cardboard just because it's marketed by Nintendo

>let me preemptively say that critics will praise it, therefore I can be one step ahead on my hypothesis that it's..... Successful ???

FUCK YOU user! I....it's 80 bux...

Another note. let it all out guys , even on things that aren't labo related, its therapeutic, especially since it'll sell.

>success
>flawless scores across the board, unearned

The fact that you call a 10/10 "successful" shows your bias from the start

Theres two things where I think most people miss the point.
Its literally aimed at children, and its the equivalent of a $60 game.

I would consider buying my nephew a pack to play with, since as a toy it looks like a lot of fun. They sell similar kits in electronic hobby shops, and this isn't really any different.

Everything Nintendo makes is aimed at children.

When they're making things for kids, that means they're not making things for me. And that makes me sad.

Then what is it? I'm all ears faggot

Tell me how BotW is a better video game than
DOS 2
TOAW IV
English Civil War
Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
Battle Brothers
That's just 2017, and isn't counting the few early access games which are already more fun.

We're LAUGHING at you. Well, some of you realise how retarded it is, so we're laughing WITH them, but most of them we're laughing AT.

We're laughing at the fact that insane brand-loyalty is going to have you off to gamestop with your 80 funbux to buy an armful of special Nintendo-brand cardboard, and that you'll be crying all over Sup Forums for a week, pretending that the shitty minigames you get are the BEST THINGS EVAR, 10/10.

Try vr user.

Fun stuff with an arcade feel to a lot of titles

>I AM LAUGHING
Lol, mad

I do not get how them releasing a peripheral could make anybody upset. Kirby, Yoshi, Fire Emblem, Pokémon, No More Heroes 3, Bayonetta 3, maybe Prime 4 and whatever will be revealed in an upcoming direct and e3, and almost every good Wii U game are all on the way this year. Why does it bother people they are releasing two different toy games for kids? Don't be sad Nintenbro

Again, yeah, i'm really mad. I sure hope you don't take pictures of your obese ass covered in cardboard shit pretending to be a robot. That'd really end me.

Lol, didn't read

:)

...

>He read it

Consumers don't get what they deserve. They get what they'll consume.

>someone something for someone else
>"They don't care about me, aboohoo!"

I hate to see what your relationships are like, godamn

thanks froganon. That actually makes me feel a bit better.

No problem user

From waggling controllers to waggling cardboard. Can't wait to see what we waggle next!
I-N-N-O-V-A-T-I-O-N

I agree.

>there are people that bought amibos

Is this meme based upon an actual person?

...

This product is symptomatic of the sort of lie the modern edutainment industry sells. When you use an unfree proprietary product like Labo you are not, in fact, teaching creativity. You are teaching children to use unfree closed systems and saying creativity is making inconsequential cosmetic changes to a prefabricated product.

This is the Apple of creative toys - a curated, walled garden experience that in fact devalues creativity.

Buy your children a Raspberry Pi and install a free and open source OS on it, then let them become hackers and makers, not unthinking consumers.

For more information visit the Free Software Foundation and learn why Windows is not your friend.

This. I'll take my kids for a walk in the woods, teaching them about animals and building dens, and it won't cost anything. Why would I pay 80 funbux for a Nintendo-approved set of specific instructions to follow, masquerading as creativity?

>literally all reviewers criticised Mario Odyssey's forced motion controls
>literally all reviewers mentioned breakable weapons in BotW
But 10/10 amirite?

A 70 box... for kids, yah fuck the kids.
They can burn and die