Nintendo bans manchildren from Labo show

It seems like Nintendo has no love for its audience. Now you guys aren't allowed to preview their products unless you prove to them you're a normal functioning adult and not a manchild masturbating to squid lolis and tranny Link on the Internet.

WTF NINTENBROS THIS IS AN OUTRAGE

Why would kids even give a shit about this cardboard gimmick? Nintendo is out of touch.

Name something as twisted and disgusting as nintendo fan...

>London
Something something Muslims majority something something bring his 9 year old wife

A Nintendo fan with an open mouth smile

>you need to obtain a child to play the game
Dark Souls of game events

Can someone answer this? Kids these days don't play with fucking cardboards. They own tablets and shit on which they play those Clash of Clans games on.

Inb4 Nintendo manchild abducts an actual child just to play with cardboards

is that Josh Thomas

Don't be ridiculous, he'd bring all of the young girls he was grooming.

>London
In Japan the target audience are those who masturbate to squid lolis. London is just cucked

>sad as fuck when I hear the news, looks like I should've started a family like mom always told me....
>suddenly look over at the park and see children playing
>mouth gapes open involuntarily
>run screaming towards them
>"LABO!!!! LABO! LABO LABO LABOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
>kids start screaming, assume they feel the same
>rush at the nearest one, grab them and say "don't worry....we're going to have lots of fun together"

Will they let me in if I bring my daughterwife?

Nintendo didn't really think this through at all.

First reply from someone other than OP here.

(Just kidding, it's me again!)

They don't. The time kids played with cardboard was the time when we still played with cards and jacks.

it isn't like it's hard to abduct children in london

NO IT'S NOT FUKCING FAIR I DID EVERYTHING NINTENDO ASKED ME TO DO I BOUGHT 4 SWITCHES FOR MYSELF MY WIFE'S BOYFRIEND AND THEIR CHILDREN IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR HE WON'T LET ME TAKE HIS KIDS TO THE EVENT

No because that's my wife.

...

>London

Grow a bear
Bring a trashbag and pretend it's a child
BAM!

How do Nintenbros feel that Nintendo is this embarrassed of them?

>Grow a bear
what

are all adult nintendo fans c sections or something

You must be mistaken, she's here cooking me a nice microwave lunch right now

Fuck nintendo to hell

What do you not understand? Make two bears fuck and raise the offspring. Put the lil' nigga in a trash bag and go to the event.

>All this mad

:)

Top fucking kek

fresh leaks from the Labo event

>he doesn't grow his own bears
I bet you don't crack them open either you casual

>>run screaming towards them
>>"LABO!!!! LABO! LABO LABO LABOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
This makes a riveting mental image

>must bring a child to an event showcasing a toy designed and marketed towards said kid
>WWWAAAHHHHH WHY IS NINTENDO STOPPING ME AND MY MANCHILDREN FRIENDS FROM HOGGING THE ENTIRE EVENT

Fucking Sup Forums, ladies and and gentlemen.

mad

>BBC News reporting on the event
>testing the recording and there's a really excited guy in the queue to test the Labo
>see kid bored out of his mind in the nearest bench
>ask him if he's having fun
>he says he didn't want to be here and it's a favor for his mom to bring the little brother
>ask him where's the little brother
>he points at the guy in the queue that was being really loud
>he says it's not his little brother
>it's his mom's

>Dad can we go home already?
>Hold on Billy, I almost beat the level!

virgin nu-males BTFO!

not gonna lie thats actually awesome.
id go larping if i had armor like that.

What if a child abducts you to take them because their parents won't?

Haha what if you made a labo toilet haha and you just started pooping into it right there

loliswithavanofferinggoodgames.jpeg

what do you think the cardboard would smell like haha

What is even the point of this shit?

WHAT IS IT???

>Labo is for children

don't fall for their dirty tricks user

Why do you know so much about kids?
...oh, wait nevermind

>we wuz cardboard n shieeet

Mike?

To teach kids how to build things with their hands. Nintendo is singlehandedly saving the world from soydom by raising the next generation of real men.

>real men
>cardboard to play BING BING WAHOO on
These kids will be raised into trannies and manchildren, just like what happened with the N64 kids.

Also apparently Labo has a thing where you can re-program the games with basic programming concepts. It's pretty cool, reminds me of Wario Ware DIY.
I wish it wasn't related to fucking cardboard toys though.

There's nothing wrong with learning to build shit with your own hands. Cardboard's a decent alternative to giving a kid a hammer and some nails.

>>"LABO!!!! LABO! LABO LABO LABOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
>>kids start screaming, assume they feel the same
My sides, Christ.

>soy toys will stop soy boys from escaping soydom
I don't think so.

The best part about Labo is that it comes in a cardboard box so you get extra cardboard to play with

christ, you're a faggot

Can you translate this from shitposter to English please?

Why would they ban adults going alone? I understand labo is for soyboys and manchildren, but why ban adults?

Are they implying nintendtards are child molesters, and that's why an adult would go there alone? Like how adults can't get into Chuck-E-Cheese without a child?

Buy your kid fucking Legos like normal non-soy parents do.

This is actually a real problem, Nintendo doesn't respect their core fans. Little children aren't the ones camping out for new Nintendo tech. That's us, the true fans. Now they discriminate against those who support their platform so emphatically!

>Wer're bringing kids, parents, media and influencers together
Can this fucking influencer meme die already, along with all those people claiming that 'job' description for themselves?

Soy is the new cuck is the new fedora is the new faggot is the new "I don't like this thing".

Will they start making these in XXL sizes? I doubt that would fit for me.

...

>cuck toys will stop boys in fatherless homes from becoming numales

building shit is neat
kid might take a bigger interest in engineering/robotics/who knows, as opposed to staying extremely glued to vidya

>Soygoys sell Soytoys to Soyboys

And people call this board Nintengaf.
Boy are they wrong.

Just buy 2 and tape them together.

>the orcs take their little goblin for a stroll

Who here stocking up on cardboards to sell as second-hand Labo units?

It makes Vita users look like normal human beings holy shit

That can't be she's right here singing for me.

>he doesn't home grow his own bears to crack open while playing tf2

Do people in London even have kids anymore?

Yes, but I can see how you might have trouble seeing them. That brown skin tends to blend fairly well into the background with the citizens brownstones

Why did Nintendo become so pathetic this gen?

>>"LABO!!!! LABO! LABO LABO LABOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Basically, he's the only guy I can imagine getting so angry at something like this

nintendo wants children to promote and market their child's game, whats the big deal?

Before I was blinded in an acid attack, I am sure I saw my neighbour Mohammad out with his 13 kids one day

>this gen

>#sacrificiallove
Signs you are living with someone who doesn't love you. Also, #openmouthinsertpenis

>Ignoring legions of core fans based solely on age
>Somehow thinks this is ok

I'm more surprised they didn't slack off with the leg movement. They actually took the time to draw the extra walking frames.

You realize they can make more than one game right?

>Jan 18

what is that creature pushing the stroller?

>I saw my neighbour Mohammad out with his 13 kids one day

That was his wife

Bro, we're in our 30's and they already released a decent amount of normal games.

This thing is for kids.

...

>Ignoring legions of core fans based solely on age
Yeah, when did they do this?
Does Labo just erase the Metroid Primes, SMTVs, DOOMs and No more Heroes?
No they don't, they still exist. Why on earth do you think that a company can't appeal to more than one demographic?

Splatoon the best

Post your face when you didn't buy a Switch

Nintendo is the Disney of video games. They pretty much only appeal to kids. This is why they hire third-parties to make M-rated games for them. As to not taint their image to families about being kiddy-oriented.

Good. This will save a LOT of awkwardness and embarrassment.

Okay so how does that change anything that has been said?

...

I find it odd that no matter how anti-manchildren Nintendo is, these autists still don't get the message. What do they need to do in order to tell them to fuck off?