User, we're developing Half Life 3 and need you to be the lead story writer and concept designer

>user, we're developing Half Life 3 and need you to be the lead story writer and concept designer

What do?

Skyrim with hookers!

Put Denuvo.

Ask Marc for help

Ask for stock options, say I'm tans-pregnant, never turn up again. Then wait for pay to turn up and if I get fired hire a decent lawyer. Not a good one, because the suit is unwinnable, but a decent one that will keep it alive long enough for valve to just settle out of court to avoid it. Retire on what I can get.

10x the size of Skyrim with 10x as many locations. 5x as modable than Half Life 2, 5x as many weapons as Half Life 2, 5x as many vehicles.

Story? Idk it'll always be a second thought after the game is designed to be fun. Typical Gordon Freeman is now free from the clutches of working for the G-Man exploring a vast land saving people and killing the Combine/Space niggers to try and figure our a way to stop the invasion.

Considering how long it's been since Half Life 2 this shouldn't be too much to ask for.

i'd tell him to just let them sleepin dogs lie.

honestly, ep 2 is probably a better ending than anything else anyway. tiger or the lady, etc.

L4D: Half life edition

Subcontract Pixar to make an animated movie. Even with their fees you'd make bank.

skyrim with guns

Decline, I'm not familiar with the series or a qualified writer/designer.

Take the position but pay someone a portion of my wage to do my job for me.

Run that shit into the ground. If I tried to write anything serious it'd just be seen as a poorly written narrative and people would forget about it, but if I went out of my way to make everything as shitty as possible, it'd go down in history as one of the biggest anomalies in gaming.

make a mobile game with the world MTX in known history
like you have to pay $0.05 per increment to change the audio sliders
I want this game to go down as the biggest joke on humanity

worse MTX*

Why would you want to turn a carefully crafted linear experience into an open world shitfest?

Literally make Half Life Full Life Consequences with a ridiculously high budget, I want to see what happens

you might've just sent me down the rabbit hole of old gmod videos, I completely forgot that existed

Gordon needs to be black, female with an afro.

Gordon was the bad guy the whole time, everyone dies, and it was all just a dream.

Because open world games are better than linear pieces of garbage?

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Take the job but don't do it so the game never comes out.

I hate to think that there are people browsing Sup Forums right now that actually believe that

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modded not vanilla model

I hope this is ironic because otherwise i'm telling you, this is the perfect recipe for a garbage sequel, especially for half life

Gman makes Gordon an angsty teen with colorful spikey hair. Also beta cuck. Alyx is a blue haired shy girl with a temper who secretly has a crush on gordon but can never admit it. The Gman is actually god and Gordon, alyx, dog, and a new bunch of colorful characters must kill him.

I kill myself for being a faggot. The end.

I hate to think that there are Sup Forumsipster storyfags who don't.
If by garbage you mean critically/commercially acclaimed which tends to be what Sup Forums calls garbage now addays sure.