Kingdom Come: Deliverance

>Synopsis: The German emperor kidnaps the German king of your country, you and your ragtag band of slavshits try to get him back.
>You fail.

There, saved you 40 bucks

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You could just watch any 10 minute video of this game make your decision. They should have delayed it for a bit.

what time period is it set in, specifically?

2019

beginning of 15th century

if the protagonists name is henry, why does everyone call him hal?

The plot doesn't matter, the writing does.

That's the problem, both illiterate peasants and upjumped nobles spill lines from schlocky British and American tv adaptations of European Medieval Ages. Worse yet, it's an imitation of an imitation done in a medium that has even worse writers. So you get a game that doesn't have its own voice (in a literary meaning) which is a pretty big transgression and in the end, it's a globalist product. And yes I'm saying that from a standpoint of American cultural hegemony we're all exposed to. STALKER and Pathologic had their problems, but their writing wasn't insincere.

so 1500ish?

take your bait to one of the shitposting threads

...

are you american?

thanks, is it just in Bohemia or can you go beyond it?

its a tiny map of a small part of bohemia

oh... that's disappointing

so what happens in the end?

squire status is the end game

Just play it in German or Czech, those are the only real authentic languages of the time in Bohemia

Reposting my story from a deleted thread here, since it was cut short.

So, i decided to bury the thought of engaging in warfare for now and blew my 4,2K gretchins in armor and armor accessories, making the Rattay armorer one rich and happy man.

Also i beat up some dirty peasants in fistfights as well as cleared up a bandit camp and HOLY FUCKING SHIT I AM FUCKING INVINCIBLE!

holding video games to an imaginary standard, nice

is the game actually fun and the story engaging or is it just another open world loot management and travelling simulator?

why are there a lot of people talking about racism in this game? I've only seen a little bit of it streamed

if you like shitty jrpgs you can just admit it, no need to pretend that all video games have to be as bad as your taste though

So after bankrupting myself and before going to the bandit camp i started picking flowers so i could buy myself some new shoes because my riders boots didn't fit on with my plate pants.

But guess what, no shoes, even slippers could fit me anymore with those iron pants on and so i realized i need some chauffeus or something like that.
Luckily the bandit leader just happened to have a spare pair of those for me along with all of his other valuables which i sold to the armorer, getting me back within 500 Grochen zone of value.

Also, folks are calling me sir knight now because of the armor, that's a neat thing, also during combat my charactermakes a short animation, putting his face plate on and i hear less and see less.
Ten oudda ten!

game has titties, im sold

So next up i talk with the lord of Rattay and he tells me there's a inquisito... i mean Vicar, from Prague who is on the hunt for some heretics, so the lord wants me to go and shoo him off or something (FUCKING HERETIC!).
So i accept the quest to go and see this fella and i take a look at the map tosee where he is.

>played with english dialogue
>complains about accents and idioms that don't replicate native czech dialogue

geez I wonder why. Stalker has barely any writing, 99% of the game is someone telling you to fuck off to an underground laboritory so I don't really understand how it bucks the trend of "American cultural hegemony." Pathologic's translation is notoriously botched so holding it higher than a game that managed to ship with correct spelling and grammar in its non native language is quite silly.

or you could just not play it dubbed you know.

Because Americans are stupid ignorant niggers that have to cram their half baked trash political musings and beliefs into everything
The game is a fun RPG set in Bohemia, it has sexy transitional armor and you kill cumans, who gives a fuck about what stupid shit amerliards bitch about

>opening cinematic has THREE microaggressions against women and one depiction of rape
This is sickening that the "people" that made this game are even allowed to roam the streets

there's no africans in the game.
that's it.

>game has titties
it doesn't though

Ahh, so he is at Uzhitz.
Hmm, why do i remember that place?
>That one wild night with the local priest
>Beat up the local bailiff
>Ring church bells in middle of the night while priest pukes from the bell tower
>Fornicate with a bar maid in a barn while priest is fucking another bar maid
>Next morning we wake up at priests house and he is so hungover he asks me to hold part of the sermon
>End up holding one helluva firebrand sermon becoming proto-Martin Luther

Oooooooooooooooooh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit...
This is not going to end well for me, is it?

You're the one projecting american cultural hegemony onto everything you see. Czechs made it, its part of their culture, it is informed by their culture. Your fear of globalization is socially misinformed, nothing more than a projection of insecurity and your own lack of cultural identity.

Yes it does, t:fucked wenches with a priest user

nah, i'm not the guy who posted about american cultural hegemony
>Czechs made it, its part of their culture, it is informed by their culture.
then why is the intro literally stolen from a generic jrpg?

Anybody just dicking around?

>sneak into home
>knock out 4 occupants
>murder 3
>stack em
>lay last person on top of them
>wait for to wake
>he loses his shit
>tries running
>tackle
>slaughter

La Creatura

Stalker has plenty of writing only in the form of shoddy infodumps. Pathologic is silly even in Russian, the creator is a dramafag. But they are not Americanized like Kingdom Come.

The only thing "informed" (whatever that means) by Czech culture here is the iconography of the game. Everything else is copied from the West. The game does try to have some unique mechanics - swordfighting, illiteracy, etc which is good but the structure is where it shows up as a globalist product. There is no need to fear globalization because it has already won, you have to fight it.

This game has a lot of bugs and the quests can seem tedious. I absolutely adore the combat though.

I can't wait for car mods

why does the armor look so bad

slavs can't into cryengine

...

"white" people

What is there to like about this game? It looks really janky, dated graphics that look bad even by previous generation standards. The combat looks really clunky, and so far the story seems really boring.

Is this a game like STALKER where most of the fun is immersing yourself in a horribly broken world and accepting the jank as charm? I'm glad people are liking it, but maybe the screenshots and webms dont do it justice.

It literally wasn't. You don't wake up with amnesia and then go on a quest to kill God.

what did he mean by this?

Oh well im sure i will be fine, i was just quoting Jan Hus in that church, im certain it will all go juuust fine!
Oh god im gonna burn aren't i?

I've been playing 2 hours and haven't encountered a single bug. "People" are just shitposting.

The STALKER series is probably my favorite video game series, but I just can't see playing this more than once and I feel like I'm nearing the end already. Maybe if modders start to go crazy, but idk if it's going to have the longevity that STALKER has had for me.

it literally was
>generic hotblooded oh-so-relatable protagonist that sleeps in and wants to go on an adventure
>peaceful village life opening
>village gets destroyed by big bad out of the blue for DRAMA
>henry is actively suicidal and overly emotional just like a generic jrpg protagonist
if you want a direct comparison instead of me just calling it 'generic'? go look at the opening for stella glow

>WORKS FOR ME LOL

>I haven't experienced it so it doesn't exist.
mate a bunch of sites are reporting gamebreaking bugs being common. You being lucky doesn't mean anything.

...

How much puss can I crush in this game?

imagine shilling for a game this hard just because the dev agrees with your politics lmao

>not the chosen one
>doesn't find a magical sword
>town isn't destroyed by a magical creature
And your last point isn't even remotely true. Take your weebshit to Sup Forums, I thought the intro was great. Good build-up without being too long.

I'm sure there are bugs, but that's a far cry from what shitposters keep squealing about non-stop. Hell, I'd be more entertained if I was encountering the hilarious bugs from the webms that keep getting spammed, but it's been normal so far.

>not the chosen one
yeah, that's conveniently replaced by
>father is mysteriously important so nobles will treat you well and make you into a squire even though thats absolutely unheard of
>doesn't find a magical sword
yeah that's conveniently replaced by
>has super amazing sword his father forged that serves as the macguffin for the beginning of the plot
>town isn't destroyed by a magical creature
yeah that's conveniently replaced by
>big bad evil dude who conveniently lets the protagonist survive for no reason in particular
but all of thats moot because all you have is aesthetic differences for a shot-for-shot remake of a generic jrpg opening
>And your last point isn't even remotely true.
is that why henry runs away from the safety of a castle to go bury his parents, even though everyone is telling him its suicidal and, lo and behold, he almost dies like an idiot? because he's not an overly emotional teenager straight out of a generic jrpg, definitely

>dated graphics
Fuck off baitboy

>Implying you aren't the local lords bastard son
Seriously, why else would that fucker be so caring and protective of you?

you mean you're not the chosen one and you're largely powerless to sway the unyielding tide of history?

neat

>Implying you aren't the local lords bastard son
you're not, because that would be interesting and this game is far too generic for that

Someone clearly didn't play passed the first few hours into the main story.

Have you played it to the finish yet then?

probably. It's a fact that our public schools are failing when it comes to parting geographical and historical knowledge.

We're fucked, and by extension so are you.

>You fail.
It's been a while since we had a nice game that wasn't about "getting the girl" or "saving the day"

You literally are though.. Radzig is your real dad.

imagine being dumb enough to think that whatever garbage main story is after has anything to do with a criticism of the opening

Fucking called it!

Yeah now we have gender studies and diversity appreciation classes instead. History outside of the US is barely tought in schools now.

you're supposed to put the quotation marks around "people", genius

So the guy in the beginning was just some faggot cuck? Lamoooo

That can't be true.

OBSESSED

OBESED

I've got 15hours into this and I still can't fathom how the fuck combat is supposed to work; everything they taught you in the captains arena doesn't seem to work.
And why the fuck do enemies without helmets take arrows to the face and not even flinch?

Yes.
and you can cuck the nearby other lord who gave you shelter when mounted archers were raping your ass, because his wife is as thirsty as a traveller in sahara.

I keep getting killed over and over trying to rescue that slut Theresa, those guys kill me in like 2 seconds. What the fuck am I supposed to do?

Pretty much. He was good friends with Radzig so he raised Henry to help his friend. Radzig couldn't let anyone find out that he had a bastard son. That's why your house in the beginning is so close to the castle compared to everyone elses too.

youtu.be/3WFXl0VGMx8

You don’t fight them. You take a horse from them and get their attention then run

So you read a history book then? Good on you

I was clued in by the fact that Radzig didn't sell his peasants into serfdom or something and that he allowed me to become his squire AND by the aptly named "High born" perk you could get out of speech craft.

You whistle at them then take the horse.

Gender studies is part of health curriculum. As for diversity appreciation, it's not actually a class but my little brothers high school has some extremely bias teachers who hate anything to do with "white" culture so instead they basically preach white guilt to their students.

Played it for the first time today and enjoying it so far. How did you anons deal with getting the ring from the executioner? I tried to choke him out, ended up beating him till he was unconscious and taking the keys off him.

I ran full retard and punched one in the back of the head, then sprinted for a horse and learned real quick that just holding shift doesn’t work.

I tried sneaking into his house and lockpicking.
Wasted my picks on two unrelated chests and broke my last one on (possibly) the correct chest.
After that i decided to say fuck it and i went to pick flowers and selling them till i had enough money to pay off the miller and apotechary.

This, just run up, punch one and the back then haul ass for the nearest horse.

an alehouse maid saw me taking something so i tackled her and knocked her out, but i can't kill her for some reason, everytime i hit her it's giving me xp, i just wanna fucking kill her so she won't tell anyone

Which girl has the biggest tits?

When is the bigger titties for all the women mod coming out

>all these triggered resetera SJWs trying to trash a game because wypipo
>shilling their hardest but people keep buying it

This game's better than Mafia 1. I just want a bunch of mods and a story DLC.

Why didn’t you pickup the armor from the enemies that sell at a high price? I’m rich yo

Nobody gives a fuck, go shit from your mouth somewhere else.

Anyone knows how to get the equipment from the armory? Every chest is locked and the guards sperg out when I mess with them.

I just paid him for it

>return to Talmberg
>Guard "You Henry? The Lady of the castle wants to see you."
>Go see her and quest started to do errands for her.
>Complete her errands without compromise
>she gives me her dad's shirt and tell me to wear it
>o-ok
>most likey gave Stephanie a bastard child

Divish was kind of a cool guy, I feel bad of him going to take care of his wife's child