Dad, I want to grow up to be a professional gamer!

>Dad, I want to grow up to be a professional gamer!

How would you feel about this?

But son, you are already a faggot.

As long as I can brainwash him into staying home and paying all my bills

I probably wouldn't care, little shit is either gonna put in effort or crash and realize life isn't easy.

having a son requires a ho, and 99% of Sup Forums doesn't have one

>implying I'd ever fulfill the prerequisites required to have a child
jokes on you, OP

>Hey baby, I'm a pro-gaming
Vs
>Hey baby, I'm a pro-boxer
>Hey baby, I'm a pro-MMA fighter
>Hey baby, I'm a pro-football player
>Hey baby, I'm a pro-basketball player
>Hey baby, I'm a pro-baseball player

I start his hrt treatment

Better than being a professional school shooter.

Good luck lil nigga. I ain't paying for yo shit.

>"Daddy, I'm a lesbian and this is my girlfriend!"
Well, Sup Forums?

>Nerd with money
Vs
>wife beater
>wife beater
>wife beater
>wife beater
>wife beater

...

Whats the average salary of a pro-gamer like?

kill him. only autistic soyboys play videogames unless its sports or Skyrim

Zhang "xioa8" Ning — $1,662,202.73 from 44 tournaments. ...
Clinton "Fear" Loomis — $1,735,983.84 from 44 tournaments. ...
Kurtis "Aui_2000" Ling — $1,881,147.04 from 47 tournaments. ...
Peter "ppd" Dager — $1,961,183.29 from 33 tournaments. ...
Saahil "UNIVeRsE" Arora — $1,964,038.64 from 39 tournaments.

those are highest paid if you're good. if you're trash, you're gonna get paid a lot less.

Jesus Christ, even back ups in baseball make 4 times this much in a single year.

That's like user asking what the average salary of a software engineer is and you posting Bill Gates' net worth

Pathetic

Sure, strife for what you want, but just like sport, if you aren't one at 16 your dreams are over.

My dad makes fun of me for being 20 while still being into video games, watching people play video games and still being a virgin. He routinely asks me if I've finally lost my virginity or found a girlfriend each time I come home. He emasculates me in front of my friends by saying stupid shit like "At least you guys get pussy, right?" and "Maybe you guys can set him up with some girls!" He blames democrats and "nerds" like me for the sissification of America and the West in general.

I tried to explain to him how competitive e-sports were while I was watching evo and he asks "Aren't you a little too old for Nintendo?" This shit gets so fucking annoying and it's actually having an impact on my mental health. He actually started calling me "Virgy" in public and around other people instead of referring to me by my real name. Fuck him. I'm not the one in the wrong, right?

Except that's because professional sports are actually physically demanding
You could still become a pro gamer at age 60

>Trying to talk to a troll
Next time tell him that you are going to drive fork up his arse and fuck his wife if he won't shut up.

>virgy
lol

Spoken like a true virgin.

it's literally impossible for you to be my son

average schumcks

Average Salary: $60,000
Expected Lifetime Earnings: $300,000

>Hurr, Eye cordination at 60 is as good as at 16
No you little faggot, people also are not quitting their pro carriers after 16, people go to be pro at much higher age. 16 is good mark to see if you are getting anywhere with side gig or not.

>watching people play video games
Gotta side with your pops on this, junior

Like all kids' dreams, it's stupid. Do some light research, let him know how good he has to be to be competitive, hope that turning it into work makes it detestable and he moves on.

Regardless of how he plans to make money in the future, no child of mine will emerge into society without math/analytical skills which means even if his stupid dream falls through, he'll be able to learn technical disciplines and be gainfully employed.

So most pro gamers only do it about 5 years?

Hand egg ball BTFO

This story reads fake, but in it both you and your dad are major cunts for different reasons.

...

First my son you need toys and a wig. You need to act like a vapid slut and camwhore while playing that is how the pros do it.

it's still fairly new to the scene. as time goes on and these gain popularity, there should be a rise in payouts and sponsors. but yeah only the good players keep playing.

top tier dad right here. too bad you'll never have children of your own.

I think watching streams is dumb, but your dad is a huge prick. I'd fuck off and never speak to that man again. You don't owe him anything and have no reason to put up with that shit. Unless, of course, he still pays for your stuff or you live in his house. In which case, you're a fucking faggot pussy.

Beat up your dad. If he wins you're the pussy he knows you are. If you win you get to show him whos the bigger man.

remember that video games die while sports last forever, where will LoL and CS be in 20 years?

That's why I aborted you

user that's a redflag that you should be pushing him out of the house as soon as possible. He'll be a neet and leach off you!

If my son had a haircut like that, then I've already failed him as a father.

Your dad sounds pretty cool

I would totally run between his attacks like I run through the rain and then slide between his legs and unleash my secret "raising dragon hidden lotus final cut" technique which would end our conflict instantly rewarding me with 100 xp points, 100 gold and 1 mastery point.

I'm raising you to be a professional school shooter!!! Not a damn professional gamer you hear me???

You're only allowed to dream after graduating in college

Why doesn't America just nuke Florida already?

>watching esports
you deserve it

Set a schedule for yourself and stick to it. Include hours for bedtime and gaming.

because i live here and we have the best girls down south

>His dad is only worth 100xp

Holy shit dude you're not even a protag, pathetic.

I’ve failed as a parent

I would give him the keys to my masturbatorioum like my father before me.

>everyone falling for this pasta

Newfags, everywhere.

unless you're going to be making mad cash playing video games, he's never going to see your point of view. either ignore him and do shit as you like, or get a girlfriend, a job, and show him up. he just wants the best for you and is scared of having a loser for a son. he's not wrong but not right either. just better yourself as a person and he'll get off your back. or tell him straight up if he could take you to strip club or hire an escort for you. he sounds like the type of guy who would do that for his kid.

Good thing I don't have a son

>having kids

>tell him that market's probably going to go be going out of fashion soon
>tell him to get a backup plan career, like a businessman or something

Either give him a loving 19th century backhand or pump him full of estogen and give him a sphincter bleaching.

kill daughter

I am fully supportive, but I take a strongarm approach to show him how esports is not what he wants to pursue.

If you dont make progress in a year, Then you are going to be something else.

You will choose 1, maybe 2 games to get good in. From now until that year is up, I expect you to be playing only that game. You will practice for 6 hours a day (8 if you chose 2 games), everyday. Breaks will consist of networking within the community, browsing information, and devising strategy.

He will quit after a week.

>doesn't like vidya
>likes shitty EA sport games
>goes on Sup Forums
wat the fuck

this will be surprisingly effective. well done.

Young women have terrible taste in partners across the board.

I'll just let her know she can do much MUCH better, and try to encourage her to respect herself more as a human by taking an interest in her other pursuits. This literally CANNOT last.

According to the archive, the pasta isn't even a month old, and only got posted 17 times. The pasta is probably newer than everyone responding to it.

I'm the creator of that pasta. Here's an early draft of it, see if it pops up in the archive because I've been posting similar stuff since like December.

"My dad makes fun of me for being 20 and still a virgin. He routinely asks me if I've finally lost my virginity or found a girlfriend each time I come home. He emasculates me in front of my friends by saying stupid shit like "At least you guys get pussy, right?" and "Maybe you guys can set him up with some girls!"

This shit gets so fucking annoying and it's actually having an impact on my mental health. Fuck him. I'm not the one in the wrong, right?"

Here's another pasta I made but forgot about.

"There is nothing wrong with considering streamers your friends. Friday and Saturday nights I like to jump into my favorite streamer's chatroom and mingle with the other fans while watching someone funny play a video game. It's entertaining and if I went out to a bar with friends I'd probably spend more money than I usually donate. I don't donate in large amounts (usually only like $30-$50) and it makes me feel good that I'm furthering the success of a streamer I really like. I mean, I'd be spending that money at the bar anyways and I'm already among friends in the chatroom so it's not really that different."