Mom walks in

>mom walks in

>mom jacks off along side me

>grandma walks in

>mom walks in while masturbating to bayonetta

My mom actually did see me playing Bayonetta once.

All she said was that she wished she could kick like her.

>mom is bigger than me

I ask her how to talk to a lady

>Be ~15
>Mom cleans my room and goes through my shit
>Finds lube
>Come home from school
>"Hey user, I found some weird oils in your drawer wha-"
>Walk away
>She took it
Like Jesus, how autistic can you be. Just leave my teenagee lube alone.

i actually walked in on my mom playing bayo the day it released on switch before i could recommend it to her

she also mutilated your dick at birth, idk wht you expect

Your mom's got good taste

being circumcised is better than being stinky dick.

t.el monstro

not him, but
>having such a shit hygiene that you have to mutilate your dick

No I'm uncut, I basically put lube in my hand and rubbed my head as a teen. It was pretty good.
She did try to get me into girl toys from infant age, when I told her I was molested she saw it as exploration and she applauded any androgyny I showed. She's pretty messed up. I don't have a healthy view on sex from this.

>Playing Bayo1
>Mom walks in
>"....if I had a body like that I'd wear that too"

Is that Mexican for "I'm a dirty spic"?

>skeleton walks in

...

"I didn't know Sarah Palin was this popular"

>In a survey where women were asked to rate their preferences when it came to different forms of sexual activity, a substantial majority of women overwhelmingly preferred men who were circumcised; for intercourse, 71 percent preferred circumcised men while only 6 percent said they preferred uncircumcised men; for fellatio, 82 percent said they preferred a circumcised penis while 2 percent said they preferred an uncircumcised partner; and for manual stimulation, 75 percent favored circumcised partners compared with 5 percent who reported a preference for uncircumcised men.

Seems like she did him a favor, desu

Sounds like your mother hated you, user.

>tfw akk the moms actually admire bayo and want to be like her

At least she didn't find your collection of dildos.

>BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

...

>americans

My black friend said he walked in on his mom jackin' it to Bill O'Reilly.

A grue?

god i want bayo to fuck me so bad

...

What makes his ethnicity so special that you felt the need to bring it up while recounting this tale?

Did you tell him how fucking hysterical that is

la creatura...

>An Australian study found that women whose partners were circumcised were much more likely to have orgasms, as well as more likely to have simultaneous orgasms.

HOW WILL FORESKINLETS EVER COMPETE

>americans wouldn't know a good thing if it slapped them in the face
seems about right

Because blacks vote overwhelmingly Democrat, so it's relevant. Race is almost always relevant, commie faggot.

Bill O' Reilly is someone hated by a majority of people but especially black people.

He already knows, but yes.

>he lets women slap him in the face

cucked

for (me?)

>O'Hara and O'Hara reported that women who had experienced coitus with both intact and circumcised men preferred intact partners by a ratio of 8.6 to one.4 Most women (85.5%) in that survey reported that they were more likely to experience orgasm with a genitally intact partner: `They [surveyed women] were also more likely to report that vaginal secretions lessened as coitus progressed with their circumcised partners (16.75, 6.88–40.77).' 4

you realise it's biased dont you ?

all the more that you hardly see any difference when it's hard. And that the girls dont give two shits about it.

>aks mom why she decided to not mutilate my dick
>"Why should I? We're not jewish"
Feels good not being American

...

Which obviously explains the massive preference gap between the two, right?

t. la creatura

>americans let people slap them in the face with their foreskins

Sounds like you've discovered your mom's preference, user. Don't disappoint her.

Women will only admit to things they think most other women will admit to, especially regarding sex. They spend most of their energy hoping to avoid being perceived as whores.

...

>mfw i have my own place and regularly jack off in the living room

>quoting O'Hara and O'Hara

You realize the CIRP website is a load of junk research from published "word-press" documents that link back to CIRP as a form of confirmation bias in a causal loop, right?

You got it from that guy, Molymeme, didn't you?

>have a projector
>Jack off to my huge screen in the living room

Wh-what

I'm aware, I just like annoying uncutfags.

>mom walks in and sees TV
>"nice"
>walks out

>Dad walks in

>mfw dad told me the same thing

>Dad walks back out

>stinky dick
>Implying you don't get to shower if you're not mutilated

>dad jack off along with mom and I
>his dick is bigger than mom's

Aristocrats only.

>dad walks in on me playing any JRPG
>starts making fun of the Japanese language

Fuck off you baka daddy

>what if instead of teaching our kids how to wash their dicks we mutilate them

>uncutfags are so insecure about their dicks that they ask why they weren't circumcised

cant make this shit up

I wish Bayonetta was my mom

idk i'm pretty secure in the fact my penis is complete as it should be, that i can feel with that foreskin like a cut cannot, that my dickhead isn't dry 24/7, that i didn't fall for a jewish meme for no reason, etc.

I'm a cutfag yet I still don't quite understand how circumcision has become the norm for americans. Like who even decided that they needed to cut off a piece of their dick and who agreed with him that it was a good idea

Among various tribes it was a coming of age ritual which meant you weren't a fuccboi anymore, and the elders couldn't exploit that ass of yours.

stop. this is gay.

>Mom looks like Bayonetta

>his parents never talked to him about sex education

>mfw little sister's dick is the biggest of the family

>I'm pretty sure

>proceeds to sound very insecure

Whatever you say dick cheese.

Other tribes and cultures fuck their young boys in the ass to make them men. What's your point?

>mutts need lube to whack it
clearly the superior dick. No question.

(((doctors)))

my mom is bayonetta

>>his parents never talked to him about sex education

>needing your parents to talk to you about sex education

>Left guy
>Good slave. Cut that dick.
>Right guy
>RREEEEE

But that makes no sense in the 21st century. The only argument cutfags have is the clean dick thing.

understandable. have a good day

Yes who....who could it have been....?

post pics

>mom comes in the room
>she presses a and x

Do you even need to be told the answer to that question? It's the fucking Jews.The Jews were the ones who pushed nigger culture on america, the jews are the ones wanting muslims to invade America, the jews are the ones pushing for "toleration" of queers, the Jews are the ones who are going to destroy America and then the world. All in revenge of the white man.

Kellogg. He didn't enjoy thinking about how little boys could pleasure themselves sexually, so he spread a bunch of lies and pushed for people to snibbedy snab their little dicks so they wouldn't feel good anymore.
The very definition of ''No fun allowed''. Look it up.

>i'm pretty secure in the fact my penis is complete as it should be
Depends. I'm sure a circumcised guy with an 8 inch dick is technically more "complete" than your dick ever will, just based on the size and amount of skin in general.

>that i can feel with that foreskin like a cut cannot
Depends on the person, since sensitivity varies.

>that i didn't fall for a jewish meme for no reason
??? Explain

>promising bayonetta thread ruined by autists
why am I not surprised

>everyone who doesn't state otherwise has to be American
OBSESSED

>Mom is a huge weeb and watches anime all day

I am not posting my mom on Sup Forums again.

>friend's mom looks like Bayonetta

come on

>again
What happened last time?

I'm pretty sure it started with the Sumerians, but even then, there's some evidence for it before that.

As for America, it was a mixture of a class thing (as a sign of doctors being present during a birth instead of a midwife), and the fact that it was extremely efficient at preventing syphilis and chancroid (which is why those two diseases are now nearly non-existent in the US), and thus they also thought it would help with a shit ton of other diseases, which it barely did.

dont be a pussy

>again

pls user

>Depends. I'm sure a circumcised guy with an 8 inch dick is technically more "complete" than your dick ever will, just based on the size and amount of
no, he's literally missing a piece of dick, he is literally mutilated.
>Depends on the person, since sensitivity varies.
no you dullard. you don't have the skin you don't feel the feel.
>??? Explain
because that's literally what circumcision is? are you stupid

>The only argument cutfags have is the clean dick thing.

And decreased chance of several STD's