How would you fix D.va?

How would you fix D.va?

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I don't know why, but I'll tell you this:

This site has nothing to offer anybody. There is no quality content here you cannot get more quickly and efficiently elsewhere. This is an addiction which reduces your productivity, attention span, and free time. You are becoming more bitter, narrow minded, haughty, and old. Leave now and block this site. There is nothing here but slow, lonely suicide.

People do not have arguments here. Posters do not engage one another on key points, they nitpick with greentext and mock each other. Nobody is interested in the truth; people are battling for fleeting moments of superiority. Active commenters are loud jackasses who tumble into one internet fight after another, anxiously keeping ten tabs open to ensure they keep the last word in all of them. An insightful post is one in ten thousand, and no matter how hard you filter this place you are still searching for diamonds in a garbage dump.

This place is not making you happy. You are not having fun. You are not gathering stories to tell, learning, or growing as a person. Instead you chuckle every thirty minutes and are occasionally spurred to masturbation by libidinal posts or pictures. You are addicted to readily available information and pressure free social interaction. This place is slowly poisoning you with misogyny, narcissism, a false dichotomy surrounding normalfags, and insecurity.

I'm not telling you to be yourself. I'm not telling you to go outside. I'm not even telling you to make friends. Just leave Sup Forums. Do anything else.

>maxresdefault.jpg
Fine. Now go.

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By removing her.

Change her retarded ED-209 mech into a humanoid mech design.

I come here for news more then anything
shitposting aside Sup Forums gets news rather quick from just about all sources

literally no

>boot up OW for the first time in months
>DVA has fucking rockets now
Jesus Christ, why?

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remove the ulti and dump that awful mechanic of her going outside her mecha.

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remove missiles less health more armor 3 sec dm

By giving her a hand

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Is this pastakino?

Make her earn the fucking mech by starting out as a squishy little shit. Same with tracer; blink gets refilled by dealing damage, if you fuck up and misuse them you die. So much of this game could be fixed if the braindead characters required a decimal value of foresight and caution.

because they nerfed her defense matrix pretty hard, but it's still a valuable tool if timed somewhat well

No thanks.

make her ass somehow more shapely

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me on the left

>the two worst fetishes in one

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Make her control her mech like that one thing from south park.

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you might be right. ive seen this pasta too many times now

Are you sure about that?

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Better game. Better design. Less porn.

More porn.

D.va doesn't need adjustments. The other two off tanks need buffs and we need a new off tank to mix things up.

>t. Gundam fan
Humanoid mechs are boring garbage.

Jesus Christ I'm glad you'll never be a game designer

I know.

But I feel like I have nowhere else to go. I've been here since 2005. I came from Gaia. I've been here for too long.

DELETE THIS

I want to pump D.Va full of children

>This place is slowly poisoning you with misogyny
Pretty spot on except for this.

tl;dr

Put a big fuckin bulge in the front of her suit.

Impregnate the gook whore and leave
based copypastakino

Where else can I go and truly and freely express my thoughts and opinions without censorship

Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy ;) nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe rubbies your bulgy wolgy you're so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn't stop growing ·///· kisses you and lickies your necky daddy likies (; nuzzles wuzzles I hope daddy really likes $: wiggles butt and squirms I want to see your big daddy meat~ wiggles butt I have a little itch o3o wags tail can you please get my itch~ puts paws on your chest nyea~ its a seven inch itch rubs your chest can you help me pwease squirms pwetty pwease sad face I need to be punished runs paws down your chest and bites lip like I need to be punished really good~ paws on your bulge as I lick my lips I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow you smell so musky :v licks shaft mmmm~ so musky drools all over your cock your daddy meat I like fondles Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe puts snout on balls and inhales deeply oh god im so hard~ licks balls punish me daddy~ nyea~ squirms more and wiggles butt I love your musky goodness bites lip please punish me licks lips nyea~ suckles on your tip so good licks pre of your cock salty goodness~ eyes role back and goes balls deep mmmm~ moans and suckles

don't bully my wife

Dva is so popular right now because: she's the only off tank with mobility this makes her a must pick in dive comps. As well as maps where high ground control is important, and she can pressure long-range hitscan. She also has the waifu factor further increasing her pick rate.

make your own website

user are you having a stroke?

>leave because dive meta
>come back a whole year later
>dive is still the meta
Whyyyyyyyyyyyy

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are you ok

Basically my policy on dark souls debate threads.

Are you mid masters or above?

impregnation

fpbp

no im silver

Bigger ass, wider hips, thicker thighs, and make her a canon dickgirl.

truth hurts

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Don't try and run dive, it only works in decently coordinated teams. More straightforward brawly comps always work better in lower brackets.

>Newfags from Gaia have been here for over ten years

What timeline is this

>people get angry at me for picking torb even in quickplay
balance your goddamn game blizzard i want to play based turretmidget without getting screamed at

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Unironically this is less gay than this

Is this the new thing we get mad at now?

the time line where Blizzard didn't make WC4

Have the writers retcon her origin into being a tranny for more tumblr appeal.

IT'S TRUE

ALL OF IT

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Torb is a specialist hero, he's only a good pick on certain map stages combined with certain heroes to support him. If you understand when to play him and when not to play him you'll do well. Communicating properly with your team explaining you aren't throwing and you'll actually switch if needed will prevent 99% of the rage.

>Korean ladyboy dva
Oof

>le reddit meme
Nice copypasta.

You sound like you want it you damn degenerate.

we all would

Why?

Are you picking him on attack? pls go

Because D.Va is still hot
And because bewbs

This. Newhalf Dva would also get some nice 'upgrades' if you want I mean.
>because bewbs
And feminine penis.

A penis is a penis. I like boobs.

A feminine penis is a special kind of penis for D.va though. Boobs aren't that special compared to the booty anyways.

Pasta though it might be it is full of shit.
What other site can say they made video games and porno?

You have yours. I have mine.
I like tight buns and a fair handful.
D.Va's dimensions are perfect.

>nerfing Sombra despite D.va being played more across the board in almost every fucking game and rank

Fuck this game

Why are they so mean to my wife

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I like tight shapely butts too but they need to be a bit more sizable. Breast size is less relevant to me because a woman could be positively flat-chested and it would have no impact on my enjoyment as long as they have the legs, thighs, hips, and ass to carry them.

And the dick is just an added bonus.

You're a big meanie!

Because Genji, Tracer, Winston, and D.va are entitled to not having hard counters ever and Sombra 2cute

>turn cute girl into gross abomination
No thanks, "bro".

The best girls draw the most scrutiny, and my waifu Olivia is a literal goddess.

If they do it Nip style she'd be perfection and not gross.

I can totally understand your perspective and how you could come to that conclusion,
though if this isn't copypasta, you're easily as inferior as those you perceive.

>she

>looks like a girl
>sounds like a girl
>dresses like a girl
>takes it like a girl
Newhalf D.va is a girl, do not oppress her (him)!

Nah, like others said it's objectively better at vidya news than other sites

Fix her face with the HOTS version.

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This site has made me realize all the bullshit that happens in videogames and lets me see when developers are going to fuck up before they even fuck up.

To me, that means I save money in the long run.

It's only benefited me.

That being said, I'm jaded as shit and a lot of people don't like me, but at least I'm saving money and seeing things from a realistic point of view instead of living in a false state of hope.

Ignorance is bliss. Sometimes I envy those retards.

Tank pickrates are not comparable to dps pickrates. Sombra as she is now is so utterly aids, locking down all abilities for free is so fucking stupid and unfun. There is literally no way to avoid a hack.

is there any situation where bastion isnt better for this though

Right version looks like a tranny

Stick with the bigger ass, wider hips, and thicker thighs.

Bastion requires the entire team to play around him, shield mercy etc. Torb can just drop a turret and run around spamming his gun.

With the penis too.
I would prefer the right version then.

What's with the one full stop in the middle?

>t. bronze shitter
Literally ANY fucking form of damage can disrupt the hack. A d.va from halfway across the map doing 0.1 damage can stop her

I would make it more pungent and greasier sounding.

>enemy team starts popping ults
>drop a 5 man hack
>team still backs way off and does nothing

the problem with quickplay is theres zero coodination most of the time, everyone runs in and dies alone without even trying to flank or group up, once if one side gets the upper hand thats usually it, you either snowball or lose

And you just hold down rmb until nothing hits you for .6 seconds and why are you sitting in the middle of the map getting hit by spam you have a fucking cloak and not even breaking Los stops hack.

Yes sombra requires teamwork to work it's why she's usually a throw pick below masters

Dva is pretty good right now. Infinite matrix was annoying but they fixed it. I love the rockets because it let me delete solo fuckers.

If you want to fix something fix the OP DPS characters who can damage, sustain and evade on their own.

But she can delete solo any non tank in low uncoordianated ranks. It is like another Tracer raping you at the same time.
>place teleporteur at a safe location
>*runs invisibly behind you*
>decloaks
>hacks
>shoots you until you are dead
>teammates just now realize something happened
>teleporteur away
>repeat

get her pregnant

Right now she's broken as fuck next patch she'll be more reasonable she is definitely easier than Tracer to have a similar impact though. Translocate is so much better than recall it's insane and her smg is more forgiving than the pulse pistols.