Wake up

>wake up
>see this
>"want a cup of coffee for today's breakfast user"?
What do?

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No I don't drink coffee

Rape her

Get the fuck out of my house, you filthy jap nigger!

...

Is that supposed to be a male?

>that flat ass

>not using a french press
Fucking dropped.

Ask where her ass is.

>cup
>for today's
This is some dumb cake.

This

What are you, fucking stupid? You know you shouldn't have coffee until a couple hours after you've been awake

>drinking the coffee jew

No bitch, I want food for breakfast.

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>what am i doing ? Who are you ?
>eat your eggs user

>being this sheltered

no, I'd rather sniff your brapper

Wtf why

WHO IS THIS GIRL AND WHAT ARE THEY DOING IN MY HOUSE

EXPLAIN OR I'LL CALL THE COPS

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>genuflect

>A single bottle of heikenen and singh on the shelf
Autism

That makes no sense.

I don't even know what's for breakfast
is it sausage? I love sausage

>Wanting fines in your coffee
disgusting.

Here listen up, I gots-ta keep it real
This food, it sure looks good
But bitch I want my cereal

>projecting this hard

"these dreams are not healthy..."

GET OUT YOU FARTING WHORE

Jokes on you, I spend 3 hours on bed after waking up just hoping i don't have to start this day and go on with death as soon as possible.

How the hell did you get in my house?

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play some VIDEO GAMES

>Where am I?
>This isn't my apartment. I don't even have kitchen that is a separate space let alone such a large space
>Who is this woman?
>I'm tired.
>I wanna go home.
>My feet hurt.
>I wonder if she has eggs, I don't want to talk to her, but I must have eggs.

I'll have the usual breakfast, nothing.

I wanna embrace her from behind and sniff her fluffy hair.

>Wtf why
VIDEO GAMES

Pretty much this. I like the taste of coffee but I'm avoiding any caffeinated drinks of any kind, I used to be a zombie when I woke up without it and I'd crash super hard every day.

>wake up
>its like 1pm not even breakfast anymore
doesnt check out

wanna ask if she wants to play card games after the breakfast

>>wake up
>>see this
>>"want a cup of coffee for today's breakfast user"?
>What do?
I wake up

Lets be real tho 99% of you virgins would just stand there for awhile before stuttering out “h-hi” before you realize she’s used up all the creamer and made a mess on your counter

Miss who are you and why are brewing that liquid jew

yeah caffein just sort of fucks me up in all kind of ways, my sleep schedule used to be completely fucked back when i drank mountain dew every day

Kick her out because I don't accept chrismas cake idols in my house

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Kaede is old alcoholic hag.

Ask her to fart in the cup and serve it to me.

>tfw you can't quit caffeine
The headaches just hurt too much if I don't drink anything with caffeine

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why did i fall asleep on the kitchen floor

is this your house

did you pour boiling water in that can to pour it into the coffee

Ask her why she's trying to put something hot and black in me.

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The best part of waking up
is cumming in your butt

coffee is garbage and my name isnt user, put some effort into your courting you stupid whore. now get out

I wonder how I managed to get a cute wife like that as a 30yo neet with balding hair and weight problems

2b and coffee. Best breakfast ever

That's why you stop drink caffeine user...

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Sure, thanks. I'd love a coffee.

This 2b looks a little off

>baiting this much

grab the whiskey from the shelf and begin pounding that instead

>literally all of Sup Forums is in this thread

Give me that leotard and get out.

>whiskey in the morning

Noon, evening and night as well.

The bottle never leaves my side.

gross

Tea.

Invite her for drinks because Christmas Cakes are a miracle of the universe!

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>drinking mud water

Who just drink coffee for breakfast? What is wrong with you? Piece of plain toast, one hash brown, one fried egg sunny side up, an apple, a glass of OJ, chop chop.

>leaves
>mud

Not making much sense here.

Maybe you've never had bad caffeine withdrawal, but that shit can make you nearly non functional. With how cheap coffee is and how tame the negative effects from regular consumption are compared to the benefits, it's one of the few things where a valid response to addiction is "just don't stop drinking it".

My nigga

Plus if you build an association with coffee and work, you can use it to be extremely productive when you need to.

>that
>flat
It's by no means thicc but what the fuck are you talking about.

How do I get a gf like Kaede?

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Just because you are anti-racist doesn't mean they will spare you

>"tea"
>"earl grey"
>"hot"

What and skip the most important meal of the day?
How did you get in my house?

>live in a coffee country
>every runs on caffeine and expects everyone else to do so to
>get weird looks and remarks when I say I don't drink coffee
>don't like tea either, which gets me even more weird looks
I just want my glass of water..

>consuming the rehydrated jew

>liking that old granny

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It's too low on her body.

Say yes?

Ask her why she's there. When she says she's there for me, I assess the fact that I didn't drink last night, nod amiably, take a cup of coffee from her, go upstairs, and call the police.

>posting anal idol
You're not one to talk

But the thing with withdrawals is that you just have to make it through it once and then they stop. So a shitty handful of days and you're in the clear. It's just a matter of willpower.

>yes this is some fine boiled grass and leaves, is this some dirt I taste, hmmm

>What, do you want us to show up and award you a medal for world's luckiest guy? Fuck off

Get my gun

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nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniggerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

>wake up
>see this
which one do you talk to(have sex with) first.

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Nigger please.

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>I don't know this woman. This is my property.

Who are you?
How'd you get in my house?
Are you gonna force me to eat all the eggs too?

>abloo someone said a racist thing better go muh pol
you are the reason why it's not going away

me under the bed

iori poster do you have a discord?
i wanna chat and maybe roleplay

>zero ass
No thank you. Get out my house.

WHERE IS THE CAKE

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Tried decaf?

>what is vegetables

No, its your bank's property