Without looking it up, explain the plot of the Kingdom Hearts franchise

Without looking it up, explain the plot of the Kingdom Hearts franchise.

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No

Everyone is Xehanort everyone else is Sora

Xehanort wants Kingdom Hearts. Or the X-Blade. Or something.

So he possesses Terra, and splits his soul up into parts. One of those parts goes on to accomplish nothing interesting, the other tries to turn a group of bishounen into clones of himself. When that fails, he resorts to time travel.

Something something darkness hearts light.

It's like Nier with Disney characters

Existence is actually a bunch of existences floating around powered by Light & Dark, and if you fuck too much with either force bad shit happens in your Heart. Also 90% of those existences are Disney properties and one of them is the "Totally but not actually Final Fantasy characters" world. From that point, just apply the rule.

Finish this quote Sup Forums

I know without a doubt Kingdom Hearts is _______

Lewd

what I should have filled your dark soul with

Darkness

cum?

Apparently, mickey mouse ran away because reasons, some mildly gay looking kids go through disney themed worlds to find him, come across heartless black people and kill a ton of them. And uh... idk. I'm 35, and wtf is this shit!?

The dark darkness hearts of light dark dark darkness come guardian darkness nobody ice cream darkness kingdom hearts is light.

Bald guy wants to open Kingdom Hearts
Fucks the shit up of two guys and a girl that you get to know until much later because fuck sequels enjoy this prequel
Bald guy also gets his shit up because hurr durr, ends up divided and with amnesia.
Fastforward some years
DARKNESS gets to the island the MC lives.
He has to travel through worlds to save his friend and his notgf
Beats one half of the Bald guy
Loses his memories and has to get into a coma because fuck you.
Shenanigans with doppelgangers ensue. DARKNESS turns up, we trenchcoat with hoods and dual wield now.
None if it really matters because everyone dies or stops being evil or shit
MC wakes up
turns out DARKNESS wasn't so bad after all
MC and Edgy friend beat up the other half of the Bald Guy
Turns out he is now complete again because fuck you
Training arc on a handheld with Bald Guy implanting himself into dreams and shit
Bald Guy revives the Treanchcoathood guys because we need a fucking war to open Kingdom Hearts
Good guys looking for good guys and the first three guys that got their shit fucked up.
KH3 up next
And all of this with Disney characters added to the mix

Gay shit.

>muh hearts
>muh destiny
>muh light
>muh darkness

audibly kek'd

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can't really argue with this, good summary.

youtube.com/watch?v=-C6bEdp7Zp8

Name one thing gay about Sora and Riku.
Or Axel and Roxas

>People actually find KH plot convoluted
Its tough being a genuine retard, they fucking feed you the story right in your goddamn face

Long ago, Xehanort wanted Kingdom Hearts so he spent his entire life searching for it. Then some faggots try to stop him so he possess one and now everyone is saying Xehanort is a bad guy just because he wanted something that he could share with everyone.

Make Disney money.

DARKNESS

Darkness
Keyblade
My friends are my power
Destiny
Hearts
Worlds
Darkness
Darkness
Darkness
Darkness
Light
Darkness
Darkness

>heartless
>nobodies
youtube.com/watch?v=Cw6Y7jgcw2s

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Shit

a bunch of kids angst about darkness and light and then hit each other with their car keys while Simple and Clean plays in the background

Darkness within Darkness

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>Moogle shop owner asks for my help
>Heartless in his shop have ripped open the floorboards and water pipes cause they're a bunch of diver and pufferfish heartless and they're being assholes
>Pop in, clean them out
>Large Body heartless dressed like a shark pops up
>"wut is this guy for real"
>He sucker punches me into a wall
>Four random chumps with flimsy keyblades pop into the scene
>They follow the sharkless into the underground waterways
>I follow them too
>Semi-aquatic adventure with an NPC party
>It's actually not a bad filler miniquest
>Everyone jokes about it after the quest is completed and the moogle shopkeep can reopen again
I already like these guys better than the named characters the game wants me to make friends with.

How U N E X P E C T E D

Darkness, keys, and gullible motherfuckers

Blad old man wants to access a mystical land so that he can gain infinite power, goes about it in various ways until finally deciding that the only way it's going to happen is if he clones himself into 13 people and starts a war with 7 warriors representing the power of light. Also, Disney characters.

SUBMISSION

Okay I believe you

Riku: "you can't help but smile around sora"
Axel: entire arc is trying to get his bff 5eva back

literally the lyrics for Simple and Clean

>Without looking it up, explain the plot of the Kingdom Hearts franchise.

Really just looking at that image is enough to tell all the tale.

Shitty overly convoluted bullshit made more bullshit and convoluted simply for the sake of fan service and money. Saddly the reall world plot as to why it exist and is still going on actually matters more since that is ultimately the justification for as to everything that has happened in game since they have always needed and will need to make asspull after asspull simply to keep that gravy train full of munny for ever trucking.

Cause serooulsy there was a "keyblade war" yet a full fledged fucking war apparently solved fucking nothing and mountains upon mountains of dumb ass bullshit have stemmed from it. hell shit should be called like an un going shadow keyblade war or something cause shit is just so overall dumb as hell as is and will forever be as long as people accept shallow as bullshit like this shit

WHERE the FUCK IS INDIANA JONES POSTER?

>mfw no indiana Jones world

I don't have the gift sorry

The events of KH1 - KH3 directly caused the ancient Keyblade War, you know. The Master of Masters observed the events that would go on in the future, including the Keyblade War and the events of the games, and subtly manipulated his disciples into causing the Keyblade War and the events that he already saw happening.

My favorite RPG series

Sora is a fairly normal young boy; well, he does have a special knack for lockpicking. One night he goes to insert his copy of Final Fantasy VII in his PlayStation, even though his little sister is watching Mickey's Playhouse on the same TV set! In an ironic twist, the little jerk is transported to Epic Mickey and must collect all seven kingdom hearts in order to open a big ass door with his trusty keytar. Jafar's the bad guy and will surely stop him.

Unions were created long ago with different goals. The master of masters led them through the book of prophecies to gather lux in other worlds through holograms. lux needed to be created because they are light particles and the world will inevitably turn to darkness. so the dandelion group was created by Ava, a group of keyblade wielders who will survive the keyblade war. the keyblade war happens....

more stuff happens.

the master of masters sent his apprentice off with a black box. he goes off with a keyblade that master xehanort uses in the present..

master xehanort somehow finds ventus who was one of the 5 dandelions and apprenticed under him to eventually be used to create the x blade. he then aligns with eraqus's pupils terra and aqua and they work together while master xehanort plays his cards in the background. master xehanort extracts the darkness out of ventus to create vanitas, the pure darkness. his plan is to have them clash, creating the x blade. pure light, against pure darkness, creating the defender blade of kingdom hearts which can only be forged at the key grave. braig is also a weird fellow doing shady shit in the background. while vanitas and ventus clash, they create the blade. which was then broken by ventus's will when he fought his own darkness off. it goes out of control. ventus, destroying vanitas, a part of himself, hurt his heart. sora found his hurt through the stars, and his heart resided in sora, which is how vanitas grew soras face.

meanwhile terra fights master xehanort. xehanort takes over his body. terras armor of will fights himself and confuses him. aqua finds him,fights him once more confusing himself more and then he gets sucked into darkness. aqua jumps in to save him, and traps herself in the realm of darkness. terranort is found by ansem the wise, and apprentices him as a scientist.

There’s darkness or some shit and you have to defeat a bunch of people in pedophile robes.

I’ve never played a KH game

he is now called, xehanort (terra and xehanort). he experiments on heartless. and goes crazy. turns to darkness and takes ansem's name. he called himself ansem, seeker of darkness. ansem, the seeker of DAKRNESS, a bit confused from being split into a split of terra and xehanort, having memories of both. remembers that he needs kingdom hearts, but does not know how to go about it. (7 lights, 13 darknesses) is all that echoes through the mind. he is a brown robed figure on destiny islands and shrouds it in darkness using the help of the disney villains. sora comes into play here and gets caught up in all this shit. ansem gathers 7 princessees of light to reveal the final keyhole, to create an artificial kingdom hearts which to his mistake, had too much light, since the 7 princesses were made of light, probably.

sora destroys him and knows about kingdom hearts being light somehow before it shines through. he restores balance and shit. closing the door and goes off to find them after he shut the fucking door. he finds a castle and goes through it. defeating members of an organization created by xemnas, who is the nobody of xehanort, who is the scientist before who is the combined form of master xehanort and terra. xemnas also was confused hearing the echoes of kingdom hearts through his mind (7 lights, 13 darknesses) he created the 13 darknesses. so he created the organization to create another artificial kingdom hearts using the hearts of heartless. oh yeah, and sora defeated half the members at castle oblivion, including marluxia, a betrayer of the organization.

.

sora doesnt remember shit. so he goes off to kill the other half of the organization. destroys xemnas. and restores ta peace once again. while hes at destiny islands with his friends. he gets a note from mickey(which mickey had to analyze by using a data sora inside jiminys journal OF MAGICAL INK WRITING and digitizing), stating that he has gotta save terra, aqua, and ven because shit is about to happen because fuck everything and they are the only other 3 light enough to destroy whatever is coming.

sora and riku go fuck yeah lets go. they go to become masters because only masters can save masters. so they go through and exam designed for that by yen sid. yen sid uses his time magic to transport sora and riku to destiny islands when darkness took it. during that time, while ansem was a brown robed figure (he was just a heart) and since hearts can travel through time, he gave the power of time travel somewhere along the way to master xehanorts young self. and while sora and riku were at destiny islands, he put the recusants sigil on sora. sora was then watched the whole time. sleeping, pretty much, while riku acted as his dream eater. now that young xehanort had the power to travel time, he gathered everyone sora murdered. ansem, xemnas, siax, and others to create the REAL organization 13 under the REAL master xehanort making them norted and now he is back to his original self. he tried to make sora a new member/vessel but faiiled. he leaves, says he will be back and knows that mickey mouse will have his lights there to clash at the graveyard someday. so he goes on. sora failed and goes off to train. riku becomes a master and goes with mickey to the realm of darkness to save aqua.

there is also so much shit in between but thats the main shit most of it i think.

OC character goes on adventure with Donald and Goofy to Disney worlds to stop OC villains. More OCs are later added but serve no real point to anything and just falls back to going to more Disney worlds.

Seriously, why does the extra fluff matter? It really doesnt.

corporate executive shoehorns advertisements into an RPG

goofy

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Luxu was actually the first Foreteller to receive his Keyblade, role, and be sent off. Then all the stuff with the others happened.

Yeah it was really weird that Disney announced sequels to all their old nostalgia movies every time one of these games came out

Oh wait

how easy is rechain of memories on the easiest difficulty? can I button smash my way to the ending without any strategy or deep learning of the card system?
i just want to get the story, I don't care about the challenge or learning this card mechanic.

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watch the cutscenes on youtube brainlet

its not that hard. This video explains how to murder anything in that game. Its a little more in depth than mashing the x button but not by much. Just take a screenshot of the description and refer back to it when you need to

youtube.com/watch?v=WYLd0CzD9z8&t=403s

>no Indiana Jones world

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>ywn get to see Indiana Jones x Sora rule 34
Sora's butt was made to be bred

I never thought it could actually be done