Middle school typing class

>middle school typing class
>type at 90wpm
>user get ur hands off wasd that isn't proper typing form
>get shit marks from bitch teacher


>open cmd
>make text green
>type tree
>banned from using school computers for the rest of the year for hacking

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>3rd grade
>get taken to the library to learn typing
>exit out of jumpstart typing
>start clicking around in the OS
>click on trash can
>teacher spots me and screams at me
>claims i'm the little shit who's been deleting icons and trashing the computer
>banned from computer for the rest of the year

>write batch file to repeatedly open and close disk drive
>save on network
>execute on random computers in the library

\/typing in school
\/playing one of those alien games
\/call the teacher an idiot for making us use shit keyboards
\/laugh to myself
\/yeah right right man?
\/silence
\/banned from the library for the rest of the year

>middle school typing class
>teaching the class the home position so as to prevent health issues in their hands when they are older
>one student refuses to use the home keys and instead puts his hands on wasd despite my instruction
>forced to give him a low mark

>later that same user refuses to do computer work
>does shit like change cmd text to green and run tree instead of dir to spite me
>this kid doesn't realise he's here to learn and/or demonstrate skills, he thinks he's here to teach me and/or give me the middle-finger
>ban his arrogant ass from the computers for the rest of the year for 'hacking'

>high school
>teacher lets us use smartphones as calculators
>have no smartphone
>pull out tablet
>user put that away
>bring scientific calculator
>dumb bitch won't let me use that either because she banned them because other kids couldn't figure out how to use them and she was sick of playing tech support

>school asks for graphing calculators
>older brother gives me his old hp 48gx
>school rejects it, says i have to buy one of the designated TI calculators
>we hardly even used the graphing functions

Gotta love that TI monopoly

how is that shit legal

this

Who knows, I would've told your school to fuck off. It doesn't matter what calculator you use as long as you come to the right answer.

>had shit internet at home
>downloaded half life 2 at school
>network automatically bans my account
>go to get it unbanned
>IT guy is fucking pissed
>sends me to the principal
>principal asks me what I did
>tell him
>principal doesn't understand it so I get off scott-free

>"sorry user you can't use that calculator in class"

Enjoy being the only person who didn't finish the test because you're the only one doing everything on scratchpaper.

Tests are a different story I guess but as far as doing assignments and shit in class I would've told my teacher to eat a dick

was your principal retarded

Underrated

Kek

i'd still tell my teacher to eat a dick at that point

No you little bitches would mumble at your shoes and the teacher would eventually just give in because they don't want you to come back with daddy's hunting rifle.

No actually I'd tell my teacher to eat a dick. It wouldn't be the first time. Let's just say the principal knew me well.

Nef plz

Outright bribery, I heard.

Historical storytime thread, eh? Let me date myself:
>secondary school
>computers running DOS, Win3.11, Novell NetWare
>already in the VX and cracking scene, swapping via post and BBS
>very sexist teacher
>also he didn't know shit, infuriating combination
>shoulder-surfed admin for his password: his two-character initials, lol
>DOOM on every computer in the lab, after hours LAN deathmatches
>wrote a multipartite bootsector/PE infector with a generation limit
>payload: after timer expires, on some generation counts, occasionally modify keyboard buffer contents to cause deliberate typos or double presses
>mfw they took me on as tech support as work experience and I fixed it (and lots of other actual stuff)

They thought I was a goody two-shoes, teacher's pet. Truthfully, I was a real evil bitch.

I grew up. Did infosec/reversing consulting, essentially, and some other stuff on the side. Retired recently. Life's good.

>be in highschool
>every student has an allocated amount of space for files and such (200 mb)
>for some reason one day the limit is gone
>proceed to make 34262626 copes of DOOM so there is no space left for any students at the school
>banned from computer lab and cant login at school anymore

fuck you Mr.Chalmers

I enjoyed this story. Thank you for sharing.

that's mean

>No you little bitches would mumble at your shoes and the teacher would eventually just give in because they don't want you to come back with daddy's hunting rifle.
Nice projecting senpai

Kelowna?

best teacher/10

>computer science class
>teaches ms office

>be 5 years old in Kindergarten computer class
>Playing learn to type games
>Teacher is male high school athletics coach
>As an adult I realized this man was extremely neurotic because he coached me and was totally batshit
>In our Kindergarten class he told us that if we said anything at all without raising our hands he would make us stand up and sing the Barney theme song
>If we got up out of the computer chair we had to go to timeout for 45+ minutes
>He actually makes good on the threat several times, making children cry
>Yells frequently
>Totally fucking terrified of this guy
>I'm a good kid though so I always raise my hand to talk and don't run around like a dipshit
>One day I really have to pee
>Raise hand and look for him
>he's behind a glass wall in the other room talking to someone on the phone
>Wave my hand in the air but he doesn't see me
>Praying phone call will end while waving my hand silently in my computer chair
>5 year old me is too scared that he'll see me getting up and walking out and yell at me for not asking him to leave first
>5 year old me is also too scared to ask someone else to get his attention because I'm pretty sure I'm going to pee in my pants at this point and I didn't want anyone else to know.
>After about 15 minutes I'm at my limit
>Start peeing at the computer desk
>Completely soak my pants and the computer chair that I'm in
>Don't tell him about it because I'm embarassed

Multiple people had to sit in that piss soaked chair for the rest of the day because he taught typing classes to all the kids in elementary school. I felt really lousy about it at the time and never told anyone but when I started working with him again in high school I realized the dude was totally fucking nuts and I didn't feel so bad.

can I see your tits+feet pics plz

>stories that never happened

>Be in 5th grade
>Have to go to typing class
>Myself and a friend in the class learned to type from playing runescape
>teacher asks us to use home row
>shows us that he can type 80wpm
>entire class is impressed because they're new typers and can barely type at all
>get really excited because we all do the test and I hit like 75wpm
>teacher comes to watch me do it again but sees me with my weird shit typing strategy (I only use 3 fingers on each hand)
>yells at me
>while this is happening my other friend who was more quiet tells teacher that he hit 140 wpm
>teacher is fucking flabbergasted seeing my friend also type like a dipshit but still go super fast

I second this.

wow, you're such a Gamer, op. I bet you game hard. You're such a hacker, op. I bet you hack hardcore. Sounds like the teacher was a total bitch, pleb.

She's like 60 years old guys.

dear lord

>first class trying to teach 16 year old japs to make powerpoint presentations today
>50% don't know what an internet browser is
>75% don't know how to save images from the web
>80% didn't know about right mouse button

holy shit. they are so dependent on smartphones that they never use PCs at all. I thought they would know more than me.

one poor lad saved his powerpoint file as a pdf and lost two hours of work as well. called me over with acrobat open and said 'why isn't it working?'

pls be grill

i love u

>banned scientific calcs because nobody could understand how to use them
What the actual fuck user, did your prom look like a potato party?

WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH BINARY, AM i RIGHT???

>Be in high school
>First day of mandatory programming class
>Computer lab filled with these ancient computers that run Vista or something else ancient from the 90's
>Ask teacher what apps he's made
>"I haven't made any"
>Whole class starts laughing, this guy is supposed to teach us programming and he's never made an app
Where do they find these idiots?

In middle school typing class I was looking at the source of some website and the teacher yelled at me. Imagine if you got yelled at for looking at the appendix of a math text in class. Tech illiteracy is being acceptable is a plague.

In another class full of computers I stabbed through the cases of half the computers with a soldering iron a bunch of times on the side of the cases and the monitor bezels and put BIOS passwords on the other half closer to the teacher at the end of the year. Didn't get caught. Dunno if they could fix the BIOS passwords but it must have been several thousands of dollars to replace all that either way.

m8 you haven't taught the spoiled suburb kids
>Gets free fucking laptops from the school
>It's all decent Thinkpads with no restrictions
>Everything they've been told is "don't do anything illegal"
>Step in as a sub teacher
>Literally every kid is playing games instead of working during class hours
>I look at a kids computer who looked panicked and has an empty Word document in front of him
>"I'm trying to come up with a great title!"
>lol no you little shit
>Alt+tab and he's playing a flash game
>Entire fucking class is flabbergasted I know alt+tab
>Literally no other teacher had ever uncovered their master plan of alt tabbing

Also

>One student complains that his laptop is being repaired and he has nothing to do
>I ask how it broke
>"I don't know, it just didn't work one day."
>Meanwhile his friend is spinning his laptop like a fucking beyblade
>He says "Yeah these laptops fucking suck."
>mfw

Only good thing was that these were 15 year olds who could handle some bantz. Also some daddys girl with uggs and a fur jacket tried to hit on me, but it just ended up being awkward.

b8

>be 16
>Write a script to open internet explorer and navigate to video
>Give it to the rugby team
>Every day the IT guy fights to close down 100 machines playing a jerry springer midget fight video

youtu.be/cqpXLRlkHk0

>5th grade
>make a batch file that spams open IE, crashing the computer and says "Your being hacked!"
>put it on the school network folder
>name it Coolmath as that is a popular site kids go on
>delete the actual link to coolmath
>made it obvious it was a batch file
>next day
>go in library
>see friend try and go on "coolmath"
>he raises hand and librarian comes over to help
>"Ms Currie (head librarian) theres been another attack!
>laugh my ass off
>she figures out it was me
>get sent to principles office
>tried to explain it was a joke and nothing was being hacked
>they don't believe me
>they call dad
>dad explains how computers fucking work to them
>they call our schools techie
>she deletes it off the school network folder
>school almosts sues me for "computer damages" but dad explained what the fuck happened
>banned from touching a computer at school for the rest of the year
>get a sat detention

Uggs and fur jacket are my fetish

>I thought they would know more than me.

back in the '00s?

definitely

this is a new generation

>Let's just say the principal knew me well

>went into lab at lunch time
>open meatspin on 30 computers
>turn off the monitors

The 13 year old kids had a class right after lunch.. it was insane.

>11 years old
>Already great at typing from playing computer games since I was potty training
>Typing class for the first time
>Typical "use home row" and I get in trouble for not using home row story
>Basic lesson layout is to copy lines from a book twice every day
>Teacher says she can monitor the computers and knows if anyone uses copy and paste
>Know it's bullshit but I like typing because I'm good at it so I never use copy and paste
>Still many days of lessons ahead of everyone else in class except one kid who I knew also played online games and kept decent pace with me
>Became rivals and competed to complete the work for the day first
>Eventually teacher tells us to slow down because we were making the rest of the class look bad

Most nostalgic part is that we saved our progress on floppy disks every day. Fucking floppy disks.

>School only gives us a window with 7 programs
>Get to command line through PowerPoint
>Insert WordArt and link it to cmd.exe
>Run slideshow, click it, CMS
>Play gorillas in basic, Delta Force, and HalfLife

>Years later, map network SMB through windows help file
>Tell IT guy
>Let's me change the wallpapers as a reward
>Made it our class color
>Wasn't that cool in school

>>Eventually teacher tells us to slow down because we were making the rest of the class look bad
This infuriates me to no end. In every part of the school systems across the world smart kids are being penalized because teachers can't handle it when they get ahead. I've been to schools where some kids have special books that were special orders because the school didn't have any system put in for when the kids were ahead of the curriculum.

classic

>be me, 16 years old at the time
>hang out in my comfy Eastern European village with some lads, smoking pot
>we crash at my neighbour's house, he cool and smart guy, 15 at the time
he leaves the room, I open meatspin on his pc, turn off the monitor and speakers
>fast forward a couple of weeks
>I come back home with one bloke after a tough day of doing nothing in school an drinking beer by the river
>police is at my driveway
>ambulance on the street
>one bloke I know crying sitting on the sidewalk
>oh shit what happened
>turns out my neighbour hanged himself in a barn between our houses

I swear this is 100% true

I've never meatspinned anyone's PC again

Do you know if it was because of the meatspin?

>"user what have you done?"
>"i downloaded half life 2, sir"
>"i don't know what that is and won't ask. you can leave"

>app

>high school
>kids want 2 play gaem stored on network drive
>make batch file that spams the network folder with actual recursive folders with "wyatatata" and so on
>make shortcut with icon set as the games icon and games name with a ~ behind it so its the first thing

>come time for all the dumb shit kids to get on and play it
>suddenly the x drive stops working (it was where teachers hosted their shit & student submission)
>nobody can play gaem

hhheheheeheee and nobody caught me

>be 14
>Join computer club at highschool
>Become admin of our ubuntu server
>barely know shit, work myself into shell commands
>main school server crashes, all the IT guys are retards with a few windows certs but no real education
>I get called in, fix their server
>make myself a few accounts with root privileges
>can now download torrents at gigabit speed from 2 servers
>download shittons over the nights, copy it to my HDD in the library in the morning before classes
>went on until they just bought a new server because they didn't want to upgrade the system

I was inside their server room once. The servers were just lying on the ground, literally. They didn't even have a rack or something. The old servers were never recycled/sold, they were lying there as well. Once the cleaning lady unplugged a server and they mistakenly plugged in an old one. Took them two weeks to notice that everything was from 5 years ago.

Kek

Another one:

>in my juniors/seniors year we had a classroom dedicated to our class (was in a special class that was taught in english only) where we could study without having to go to the library
>1 old computer from 2002 with personal files on it
>1 working ethernet port in the wall
>since everybody brought their own laptop and tablet to work on I decided to install a switch and an AP
>cheap 20 buck router with openwrt on it
>have had it running in my home network for 2 years and checked regularly that no dhcp server was running on it
>after 5 months of having it used, get it confiscated and get called to the principal
>"the whole network in that section broke down because you hacked it with your white box"
>tried to explain, just got sent to the IT guys
>"hurr durr, network down, dhcp, your fault, had to call in an external firm, bla bla bla"
>show them the config, set up a closed off network in their lab to show them no dhcp server is running, call them out for being imbeciles for calling an external firm
>they give me back my router with hate in their eyes i've never seen
>not allowed to bring the router anymore or touch any school computers w/o supervision

I was in one of the project classes that tried to use only laptops in class. I have more stories from that too.

And pro tip to all underage computer geniuses here:
Never ever let them know your powerlevel. I was known as tech-guy and it was so bad that teachers came to get me from other classes to fix their shit before they even thought of asking the IT or media guys.

>I was inside their server room once. The servers were just lying on the ground, literally. They didn't even have a rack or something. The old servers were never recycled/sold, they were lying there as well
that's common practice. you'll understand when you're older, and have quit being a smartass little shit, like i did.

I don't know what your point should have been, but anyone with a decent understanding of servers knows that you shouldn't place rack-mounted servers on the ground. First of all, they collect way more dust, and secondly you step on them way more easily. Furthermore, depending on the material the floor is made of, they build up way higher temperatures on the downside, where there's no fans or heatsinks.

Forgot to add: vibration from footsteps and HDDs.

How are those two things related?
A couple weeks is a long time

>high school, year 10
>be in computer class with korean friend
>says he'd put an admin password onto one of the unsecured PCs
>sounds good
Fast forward to a week
>back in the lab, sitting with another friend
>hear my Korean friend be questioned by teacher, look back
>teacher asks in his deep African accent
>"Why didu put a paswod, user?"
>"I didn't sir. It was already there. I just guessed the password"
>"What is deh paswodd?"
>Korean user looks him dead in the eye
>"Uh, penispump?"
Fucking kek'd for 3 days, got resurrected and kek'd some more.

so much this
>2002
>typing class
>70wpm
>user you are supposed to use your pinky to press "P"

Shitty bait, user. Would your mother approve of this behavior?

>be 13
>have a basic knowledge in computers
>can write basic batch files
>take a rudimentary 8th grade comp class
>teacher is a fat retard who hasn't used a computer in forever
>friends are fucking illiterate as well.
>write a .bat file to "become 1337 hax0r" (aka make it spam a bunch of random numbers)
>friends are in awe because retarded
>teacher sees
>immediately shuts of my computer and sends me to the office for "hacking"
>get suspended for a day, have to sit out the rest of the day in the office

Fuck you Mr. Hamilton.

>IT class
>teacher has a projector and can switch to any of our screens and throw it up on the wall
>teacher picks kid at the back
>he has a folder open full of pictures of different types of retards
>don't know what happened after that

>be 15
>friend finds out a test accounts log in details
>tells me
>computer monitors have built in speakers that shut off when the monitor is off
>2+2=5
>log in to 100 computers
>turn the volume up to max
>open hurr durr on all of them
>observe panic in all the little 11 year olds faces when they turn the monitors on

Was fun for two weeks until they changed the password

>be me
>high school freshman
>1992
>tandy computer in library (the only one)
>friend shows me very first "jif" (.gif) images of hot women from slow modem download from bbs
>come in early one morning
>write a simple gwbasic program as follows
>1 cls:screen 7
>2 print "virus!";
>3 goto 2
>then I edit autoexec.bat
>gwbasic virus.bas
>turn off the computer

Next day, keyboard is gone. Must request keyboard from library staff from now on to use computer.
>mfw

Well hey, I was offered a job for letting my power level slip lel

>dumb roastie sitting next to me and talking about stupid shit in class
>about how her paper is due next period and she hasn't worked on it
>snuck back in the room during lunch and take screenshot of computer with paper open in word like she left it
>delete paper
>hide taskbar and set screenshot as backgroud
>bitch cried

Lol thanks for the memories user just remembered always doing this back in primary school

its actually not out of ignorance the reason you people get punished is because its cringy.

wait you don't use your pinky to press p?

...but its so close!

well, the fact that his mom's a crazy bitch and his dad's a drunk who left his family years before that could have added insult to the injury but meatspinning is not cool mates

>4th grade
>school suddenly implements a typing class
>mavis beacon teaches typing
>skip that tutorial crap and just start typing
>flying through lessons, my technique is absolute shit.
>several weeks go by
>teacher see's how im typing, threatens to restart me from lesson 1 if I dont use the proper fingers
>type my way unless she was walking by
>then quickly go to proper form, typing slow as molasses
>back to full speed
>my technique is shit, but I can get 110-130 wpm on typing tests

> be me in 8th grade
> firts day computer science (that year)
> new obese teacher is batshit crazy, obviously emotionally unstable.
>tells us not to click on anything except what we are told to
>we open google chrome
>Chrome Web Store automatically opens
>Teacher yells at me without letting me explain and get a detention

At the end of the year we had made her cry several time and she left the school.

Kek

/devilish/

I almost only use my index finger and thumb of my right hand. Thumb for space and index finger for everything else.

I used my middle finger when typing the 'i' in everything just now though and the pinky for the ' character.

But for like 90% of the shit I type I only use the index finger on my right hand. On my left hand I use every finger.

>XKCD

Do you still type that way user?

>retired

>1992 high school freshman

come on, oldtimers, what are you doing here?

>spinning laptop like beyblade
Get those kids a fucking battle dome ASAP

If you're not bullshitting, do you have any other interesting stories? What's your honest opinion on "we need more women in cs xdddd" movement?

Did a trip fag just tell someone to go to reddit? Its a cold day in hell.

2spooky

>be 14
>have freshman art class
>we are on computers for "sketches"
>one day out of the blue I decide to make one of those USB password spiders
>teacher leaves the room
>plug it into her computer and run the .exe
>mfw the bitch saved her credit card information and her paypal on her work computer
>go back home and buy a 20$ Booter
>ddos the school because script kiddy
>she canceled her credit card a month later
>mfw even after almost 7 years later I still have access to her paypal

Mrs. Gilmore you fucking retard.

>14
>bully of the class goes to the library
>computers were cheap junkboxes, power supplies were "multi-region" and had a 110v-220v switch on the back
>"i wonder what's gonna happen if we flip the switch lol"
>flip the switch while they are on
>computers shut down, smoke emits
>"oh shit get the fuck out lmao"

i never told on the teachers, but they knew it was him. he always destroyed the school's property.

Not him but I type like that

>still being in school when paypal was invented

This is an 18+ board, kid.

Paypal was founded in 1998, I'm 21 now, fuck off retard.

Paypal was made in like 98.

>Computer lab filled with these ancient computers that run Vista or something else ancient from the 90's
Triggered