Toilet paper technology

Do you fold or crumple?

4 piece fold
over

For wiping your ass?

I only fold if I'm at home because the paper isn't shit and I don't want to waste it.

2 piece
fold
pinch
fold
wipe
repeat.

quads confirm

>not overclocking your paper
plebs

with left you're not actually wiping your ass, you're just smearing the shit over it evenly until nothing sticks to the paper anymore

>For wiping your ass?
No, for the last piss-drops you squeeze out that otherways stain your underpants.

that's bullshit
both does the same job

Same, four piece fold, done two times.

>tfw the only thread without Pajeets

Do you guys wipe your ass standing?

>after 4 years move in with gf
>toilet has smoked glass window
>she sees me standing and asks what I'm doing
>wiping my ass what else
>she calls me weird

i do

Why is she watching you take a shit?

this and
this

Shit post technology

Do you report or do you hide?

Underrated meme desu family

It just doesn't seem convenient. I mean if you stand up don't your ass cheeks close together making it harder the get the paper up in there. Whereas sitting you can plant an ass cheek on the seat and lean out to get maximum spread, thus enabling a more thorough level of access to your poopy hole.

I wrap. because I'm not some sissy faggot that shits little chocolate drops

>medium-length piece of shitty paper
>grab the center, let the two halves drape down over your hand
>use other hand to grab gathered ends hanging down below
>use first hand to fold the held center down and around the back of the piece held in the off hand
>your first hand is holding the entire wad of paper under your fings, barring a small triangle of paper like a tiny paper mitten
the objectively best way to wipe your ass

I do a mix between the two. I fold it over loosely before giving it a slight crumple. With a straight crumple you can risk getting thin spot where your finger pokes through, if you're not careful.

Get a bidet for fuck's sake

groupon has 'em for $30.