Alright I'll bite

Alright I'll bite.
I want to stop being a windows cuck.

Which distro should I try?

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Install slackware

Trisquel on a Lemote Yeeloong.

Otherwise you're still cucked.

Pic related ?
If yes nothing will help you.

Ubuntu, it's the easiest, you will eventually start distro hopping until you find the right one for you.

Try Ubuntu. After getting comfortable with it, switch to Debian or maybe Fedora. You could stop there and I would recommend sticking with either of those two. Arch is pretty neat, but it's not friendly.

>Alright I'll bite.
You make it sound like you are supposed to be impressed. If eventually you aren't impressed you can just mock the person who chose it for you instead of having to take responsibility. Just stick with Windows, that's what you want anyway.

If you have an Abit motherboard laying around try that sweet Gentus Linux distro CD. Mint/Cinnamon or Ubuntu if you actually care.

Mandrake

>liking things because of "fandoms" or perceived popularity or to fit in

might as well just stick with windows.

manjaro

Start with something easy. Ubuntu MATE

Any Ubuntu derivative and learn the command line, IMO.

Or, install Gentoo,

Op please listen to me get Ubuntu Mate. Its the fastest and bestest distro ever.

Here's how I went

Windows 98
Windows XP
Windows vista
Windows 7 (host) - Linux Mint Cinnamon (VM)
Linux Mint Cinnamon - Windows 7
>Come to Sup Forums
Xubuntu - Windows 7
Windows 10
Arch - Windows 7

Listen the these people

if you're a total noob try ubuntu. After you get a handle on things if you want stability use debian. If you want practical bleeding edge use manajaro,antergos, or openSUSE tumbleweed.
Or stick with ubuntu its pretty good

Ubuntu. There are guides to anything and everything for it accessible with a Google search. Easy to install, easy to update/maintain, easy to customize. It's great for beginners and experienced users. I use it as my main OS and I've completely removed Windows. Wine runs most Windows programs without a problem. I rarely use the command prompt anymore. Comfy as fuck.

Go with Funtoo OP

funtoo.org/Install#Prepare_Hard_Disk

You'll learn about Linux if you successfully install it.

this. tbqh its cant be beat

>Ubuntu
>systemd
He will still be cucked

Posted like a true edgy 15 y/o cancer

This. Seriously. If you haven't yet tried Linux, and you have no interest in compiling anything, Ubuntu is a leaps and bounds better starting point than anything else.

I'm talking Ubuntu. Not Xubuntu, Kubuntu, Lubuntu or any of that shit.

Doesn't debian also use systemd?

what a cuck

Ubuntu unless you wanna be an edgy teen and jump straight into something hard to force yourself to learn what the fuck you're doing, then go Arch (most forgiving "you do all the work" distro I've heard of so far)

What a cocksucker

in your own terms, what is wrong with systemd?

I really don't give a shit about the whole "systemdick" meme, but I don't like how much of the operating system is dependant on it now. There is literally no need for it to do everything that it does, and yet it keeps absorbing other projects left and right.

Architect