Sperm valves are technology, right?

Sperm valves are technology, right?

Other urls found in this thread:

discovery.com/dscovrd/tech/you-can-now-turn-off-your-sperm-flow-with-the-flip-of-a-switch/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

'muh dik'

I would totally go for this

on the plus side you will get your balls felt up at every airport checkpoint

then isis hacks it to force it to turn off

If this turns out to be functional and not harmful I would get it without hesitation.

Hope it's made of plastic though because I get at least one MRI or PET scan a year and having switches torn out of my balls would be extremely painful.

almost thought you mistakenly said down side

OK, that sounds like an interesting idea, in some ways, but 1.8cm?
No fucking way! Even if I where interested in planting some stuff in my scrotum, certainly not something that large.
Say goodby to any sport, especially biking and such.

>falling for the sports meme

>Falling for the being a sedative fat fuck that will only ever need to hold back his sperm because it helps to keep the keyboard clean meme

>not using a thinkpad keyboard with cum draining ports

>falling from playing sports

How to hack physical switch pls?

Joke's on you, I have a thinkpad. (or actually, I have three…). They must be procreating somewhere. Gotta neuter my thinkpads first.

Isn't the pleasure of ejaculation caused by the semen passing through the dick? Something like this would cause major blue balls.

>being at least 18 years of age
>not knowing that sperm comprise a tiny portion of semen

This is literally rape. You are taking the choice of whether to have a child or not away from the woman.

The pleasure of ejaculation is distinct from the pleasure of orgasm. Ex. pee shivers

If you're wearing one of these, you're gonna be having real-life sex with a meat girl, so the ego trip will be enough.

This seems like a lot of effort for not much worth

If you don't trust your gf to be on birth control then you shouldn't date her at all, and for the amount of one night stands the average Sup Forumsentooman gets I'd guess a regular pack of condoms is enough

Are you saying this would work by blocking sperm but not semen?

that's exactly what this does

What's the point of having an orgasm if you're not going to shoot out cum? I don't want to cum inside my own balls, that's gay as fuck

>pee shivers
How do I experience this?

>Sports is the only way to keep fit
Typical sportsfag logic

>tfw your wife's bull keeps your pee-pee switch in the "off" position indefinitely

...

kill yourself

>there have been many attempts to shift the burden of birth control burden onto men
Not only does this sentence make no sense grammatically, it also makes no sense rationally.

Men compete for women. Women select their men. That's now nature works, in virtually every mammalian species.

It's women who need birth control, not men.

Lol good joke, upvoted xD

>Flick of a switch inside the ballsack
I'm cumin, I'm not cumin, I'm cumin, cucumber.

>divert the flow of sperm back to the main's testicles
I'm no doctor but that doesn't seem healthy. Can you at least turn it on and off on a whim, or does it require a complicated procedure?

If you can't turn it on and off on a whim, you wouldn't be able to ejaculate for your testicular safety at all..

More importantly,
>facebook twitter pinterest google+ email something share buttons
whoever made this image desperately needs to install ublock

Call me when they have something that doesn't involve cutting my balls open

>physical
HAHAHHAHA
if you think they won't implement WLAN support with automatic twitter and facebook status updates every time you attempt to ejaculate, you don't know the modern world well enough

Fucking retards, you'll still ejaculate, it just won't contain spermatozoa. Semen isn't even formed in your balls(that amount wouldn't fit there), but in the prostate.

>forcing your sperm to just stay in the balls
sounds very healthy senpai

In modern world? Men need birth control just so they can be sure no woman is going to pull "lol I wasn't on the pill after all, enjoy paying me $500 per month for the next 18 years"

>pee shivers

Can you elaborate on pee shivers? This is a topic I'm interested in.

Bad goyim, the woman is responsible for nothing because they are equal!

>turn your cum switch to off
>bust all over the place for weeks without making a mess
>sitting at work
>accidentally hit your ballsack cum switch to on position
>weeks old cum reservoir lets loose and bukkakes the inside of your pants

>2025
>Sup Forums's porn boards can now accurately track the number of unique ejaculations in a day


THE
INTERNET
OF
THINGS

It's hip among the nu-generation to avoid female birth control primarily because it's dangerous and/or unhealthy.

(Putting on a condom is safe and easy. Inserting a spiral into your urethra or fucking with your hormones, etc.; is hard, dangerous and can cause serious side effects, ranging from epileptic seizures to chemical depression.)

I refuse to leave home, so why should my sperm?

By balls already hurt just thinking about it.

If you don't want a women to abuse you then maybe you shouldn't be having sex with her in the first place.

She will find a way to do it, children or not

edging

feminism at work Sup Forumsents

who would want a pointy shit in his ball sack?

Are you serious?

If it can be turned off simply by locating it in the scrotum and flicking the switch, it seems to me like it can't be trusted because it could be accidentally switched during sexual activity, or even intentionally switched by a woman while you're unaware.

It's not just feminism, it's basic common sense.

Taking hormones to fuck with the ovarian cycle enough to render you temporarily sterile is like taking hormones to fuck with your testicles enough to make you unable to produce cum.

I sure as hell wouldn't be taking that shit, and any intelligent woman wouldn't want to either. (That said, intelligent women are few and far between)

bluetooth + app.

Until someone hacks your prostate.

>taking hormones to fuck with your testicles enough to make you unable to produce cum
>tfw there are mentally ill faggots actually doing this

If I pulled it out, would you die?

You still shoot out a little cum while edging.

>you start pounding that axe wound really hard and the switch gets knocked into "babymaker" mode
doesn't seem safe to me

how often do you need to impregnate a woman, then go back to sterility immediately after? temporary sterilization with that gel stuff makes more sense. go to the doctor to get the gel dissolved, then fuck your wife for weeks to make sure she's good and pregnant.

I only see the switch being useful for polygamists that need to make one wife pregnant but don't want to knock up the other ones yet

>tfw you forget which way is 'on' and you end up shooting blanks into elizabeth holmes but live rounds into naughty nancy

found the girl who doesn't understand how penises work

fyi the pill makes women more attracted to faggots instead of burly men

>about to ejaculate
>she stealthily flips the switch
>"It was an accident lol"/"it was you who left it at the wrong position"

I'll never stick my pee pee into a vagina, so I don't need any valves.

t. hairy fatass

Condoms are the shittiest and most failure-prone birth control available.

IUDs/depo are harmless and reversible.

Cunts just want their highly leveragable pregnancy and so ultimately reject any option that outright prevents it. They'd much rather have an 'accident' and extort males.

Looking forward to VasalGel and the Switch, desu. The cunts will mewl like babies trying to ban it.

No its an underage faggot, not even teen

Why not just... not have sex with people who will use that to extort you?

lollllllll
Case in point. Manipulative bitch detected.

That's what I do, I don't have sex at all with anyone and will never have sex. it's a 100% protection against preggers and STDs, a wise man's choice.

We can't all be homos.

>tfw all throughout history, wise men have self-selected extinction
what does this say about our species

>100% protection
Lol r u dum?

>Passing it through like a kidney stone

You always have a choice. You're either a dumbass who procreates or a wise man who breaks the vicious cycle and never procreates.

Linux is my contraceptive.

>have it turned off bitch turn it on without consent
>get fucked

no ty

fuck being chipped and taggged

That's why you have a mini padlock and key shoved in there too. Ya dummy.

The fuck are you on about? You literally have no way of impregnating anyone/getting STDs without having sex, unless they catch you and rape you, or you rub your penis off of the floor inside a gay glory hole.

That made me lol more than it should

it's pretty clearly designed to be switchable at any time by literally fondling your balls

Scrutinize image for April 1
Find January 5

>Literally no way
>Unless....

You could have just answered "yes I am dum"

It say's that feminists ruin everything.
I am ace, so I don't have a need to fuck anyone anyway, but if I can turn it into a statement about feminists, then I will.

Amount of girls I've busted in

one was like wear a condom

so I pretended to put it on then came inside her and quickly pulled out with the condom in my hand and said it spilt.
she had to go get control

then I kicked her out.

true story. I used to be such a cunt. Given the opportunity I still would but I'm older now and older girls are weary hah

that bish is someone's Gf now. Poor guy

The image might not even be real for all we know. No one has posted the source link so far.

Well, if you fancy going to glory holes and getting skull fucked and then raped, doesn't mean everyone does it too.

>"lol just don't get raped"

So something is literally impossible except in all the cases that could make it happen. Got it friendo.

You were raped by a female?

no, but it is a thing that has happened

It's literally impossible because the possibility of any of those things happening is infinitesimal and is literally 0 if you don't leave your house.

You got buttfucked in prison?

Top kek.

>Literally 0

Maybe you should wait stop using words you don't know the meaning of senpai.

But it's literally like that.

It's actually strange how many people in this thread seem to think that this means nothing will come out of the penis when you ejaculate

Are you a penis expert?

^^

>2 cm piece of plastic inside your balls

So no more sitting.

>IoT

Yes

Yes, I'm a certified cocksmith.

If I'm going in for op

I'd rather just get the snip. No fucking about.

discovery.com/dscovrd/tech/you-can-now-turn-off-your-sperm-flow-with-the-flip-of-a-switch/
Closest thing I can find.

>the current generation of the switch has had no notable impact on Bimek's sperm count.
Welp, looks like you still need to pull out.

It means the fact that we exist proves all of our forefathers were dumbasses.

Seems about right.