Tech support

>hey great aunt sally, you need to tap the URL your cell service provider texted you if I'm to finish setting your account up for you
>(after great deliberation) "I can't find the U L R button"
>go back and forth trying to get her to put me on speaker phone and read the text so I can more easily guide her through it
>even that is fucking impossible
>she's getting increasingly frustrated and can't figure out the most basic functions of her phone, like using the back/home buttons
>intermittently repeats "I can't find the URL button"
>repeatedly telling her to forget what I said about a URL because clearly it was a mistake on my end to use a fucking scary-sounding acronym or something
>reads out paraphrased versions of random portions of the screen that she's currently seeing
>"It's giving me a warning about going somewhere that might not be official, what does that mean?! There's a warning."
>"It says here... pay your bill... sign up... log in..."
>"It wants me to pay my bill!"
>"It says that I'm going to accept terms and conditions"
>any step involving even the most minor critical thinking results in even greater frustration on her end
>incapable of putting me on speaker phone and doing this shit so she has to keep pulling the phone away from her face and then giving me her shitty secondhand interpretation of what she's seeing from memory
>still mentioning "URL" every once in a while
>I keep telling her to forget the fucking phrase "URL" and just continue on with this process so I can get off of the fucking phone (although without any vulgarity)... shut the fuck up you fucking CUNT FUCK
>keeps telling me that she's "getting frustrated"

This woman has a college degree and this is not the first time I've run into this sort of shit with these boomer fucks.
/blog post

She didn't waste her life in front of the computer, you dumb sperg.

You're not special for name-dropping domain specific jargon knowing full well that nobody will understand you.

>call a hyperlink a URL without thinking about it
>attempt to backtrack and explain what I meant repeatedly
>"name-dropping special domain specific jargon"

>basic problem-solving and critical thinking skills
>hurr she didn't waste her life durr

>mfw you are just an unintelligent contrarian who wants to argue for the sake of it

i just started saying "i dunno lol" to people.

this

Same. I hide any and all evidence of knowing anything about anything in my (small) personal life.

this really, there's no other answer

Well it is more devilish rather then supporting

> family argues about my brothers spend too much time on the computer and causes higher bills
> offer them help by enabling parental control in windows 7
> Okinawa
> both fuckers cry about it
> parents tell me to disable it
> ffs.tar.gz
> this happens every week
> "fuck em"
> install vanila Fedora on the computer
> say them I need this on
> go back to college immediately

Now those fucks cannot do shit on it beside browsing the net with a fucking guest account.

lol
>best deterrent to using a PC: Linux

Kill yourself honestly, people don't understand how to use a remote controller even if all the buttons are numbers which should logically mean that they are used to switch channels

>tfw tech literate parents
>Mother was a solaris programmer
>Father is a photographer, was one of the first in my city to get both a digital camera and a broadband internet connection with a whopping 1Mb symmetrical connection
>Kid brothers know enough to do what they want
>Older brother is a raging macfag who stubbornly declines any offer of help because he thinks he's the only one who truly understands Apple
I don't envy you guys.

Things that never happened

S14E88

>offering your services unsolicited
pls

>This woman has a college degree
what do you think they teach at college?
how to use a cell phone?

>what do you think they teach at college?
>how to use a cell phone?
How about basic critical thinking, you fucking retard?

Oh my gassh it soooo trueeee
Upvoted :^)

Nigger Women's Studies 101
Hating White People 101
Gibs Me Dat 101
Why Whites Are Evil 201
Fuck Whitey 700

>he thinks they teach critical thinking at college

>he ironically shitposts for fun

>>he thinks they teach critical thinking at college
>my point was simultaneously critical of both the woman in question and college education as a whole
>this dense fuck misses this completely and spergs out and makes his first of a two-part post designed to get people to call him out on his dumbfuck contrarian opinion
k

sorry bud we don't have upvotes here

>saying that I'm sperging out when you started this thread with a fat wad of greentext that basically said "my older relative didn't know what a hyperlink was and I could not explain it to her and now I am frustrated"

>that's what your interpretation of the situation is
>being a pretentious twat
>look how much better I am hehe :)
>being intentionally contrarian purely for the sake of satisfying your ego
>literal autism

Words to live by

>aging mother was a secretary for 40 years
>knows everything to know about office computing
>joins facebook for new job
>pc fucked every week with malware and spam
>she is now too afraid to use a pc without hand holding

My advice was dont fucking use it for work but she did anyway because "everyone else is doing it"

I can hear the sweat dripping down your face and hitting the keyboard.
Your posts are continuously getting more autistic as this conversation progresses.
I hope your next reply contains more buzzwords.

>try to help out a relative
>he wants me to clean a virus
>emigrate myself to his place
>get F-secure installed
>alter his computer back to its "normal" state
>make some adjustment
>enable remote desktop for being able to help him from home

What virus did he use? Read the first letters to find out.

at this point, I pretty much would give up and say I'd need to physically be there to help you
luckily for me, most family members like this are several hundred miles away
There's helping family out, and then there's dealing with someone who's being willfully obtuse.

we do have (You)s, and that's just as good

...

>ur a neckbeard
>u have autism
>nice buzzowrds autist kek
whatever breh i've lost interest in how stupid you are at this point, just keep bumping the thread

>she's getting increasingly frustrated and can't figure out the most basic functions of her phone, like using the back/home buttons

Basic functionality on a phone is to dial numbers and starting calls, so I'm not surprised on that. Even I can't figure out some modern phones and I've been a programmer for a decade and a half. It doesn't help that every phone has the home button at a different location too - bottom center, right edge center, one phone had it on the back, etc...

it's been years, holy shit

>Even I can't figure out some modern phones and I've been a programmer for a decade and a half You've been a programmer for 15 years and you can't figure out how to switch applications on an Android phone? Really? No, I think you're just stretching the meaning of that idea--I think you're just being a contrarian like the other doofuses ITT

>if you disagree with any part of my opinion, you're being contrarian
Go fuck yourself.

Fuck yourself idiot

>strawman
If you post stupid fucking bullshit like "I've been a programmer for 15 years and even I can't figure it out!" in response to "she can't find the back button", yes, you're being a contrarian, you stupid fuck

I'm not even that same poster.
And you need to hit up google and find the definition of your new favorite word before you spam it some more.

Every other phone has different buttons and a different method for switching apps or closing them, plus Android looks and acts different on every phone too.

I can control my own Lumia 800 fine and can control an iPhone enough to test pages on (we have a test phone in the office), but Android can go and fuck itself.

It's a real shame about WP getting killed off, out of all the phones I tried, WP was the easiest to learn out of nothing.

Only reason I even use touchscreen phones to begin with is because I need them for testing at work.

>I'm going to use only the most literal interpretation of the #1 definition from a dictionary of my choosing and pretend that you're using a word wrong as a result
you are stupid, and no amount of shitposting is going to change that you are stupid. I am smarter than you. It's that simple m8

>I'm going to use whatever made up fucking
definition of a word I want and pretend you're stupid for disagreeing with me
Why haven't you offed yourself yet?
Surely you have no friends or family willing to even stand your presence if this is the way you act.
What are you even living for? Making shitposts and pretending to be smug on an anonymous imageboard?

>definition of a word I want and pretend you're stupid for disagreeing with me
kek

How old is she?

contrarian

?

it's just some autistic retard who is salty about getting blown the fuck out above so he's false flagging by spamming a word over and over

just ignore him

to answer you, she's 60

are you a bad enough dude

Which bit is unbelievable? The mother that programmes? She quit sometime before my earliest memories start but she tells stories of bringing me to work and giving me an old keyboard to play with, which means she moved on to other jobs cirka 92-94ish. My dad, on the other hand didn't get into computers until sometime between 99 and 2002 ish. He's not a wizard but he's not helpless. Still remember how cool his Pentium 3 PC was and how happy I was when he gave it to my older brother and myself.
>Not wanting to bond with an estranged older sibling
He's probably not as much of a raving Apple fanboy as I think he is but it's easy for me to dehumanise him because he's an asshole.

This is genuinely the best thing you can do to avoid having to help family members.

I've done this for both my parents (not living together) and no more malware problems, which means only support when getting a new printer or something, which they weren't able to do themselves with Windows anyway.