Tech illiterate people stories thread

>be high schooler
>teacher needs help with computer
>after the school
>ok just for 5 microwave times
>sure user just 5
>just 5
>problem done in 5
>sure look at this too
>and this
>and this
>30 microwave times
>bus already left
>teacher won't take me home
>walk home miles and miles

>sorry, I have a bus to catch

Well that wasn't so hard, was it?

>be high schooler
>close Sup Forums because it's 18+

>told her that
>ohh just 5 microwave times
>no means no
>"prety pls"
>"no?"
>"grades bad then"
>implying she listened

Maybe he is older than 18

kek

Place your bets

bet for one wing dong points?

>and after that I was told to walk back home

So basically things that never happened?

>walk in on someone
>uses Windows

>walk in on someone
>uses Mac OS

>walk in on someone
>uses a Debian derivative

>walk in on someone
>uses BSD

This one is for Arch!

Arch! Arch! Arch!

> microwave times

I need that greentext pic, do anybody have it?

SHE WANTED YOUR D OP
HOLY SHIT DID YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT SIGNALS AND BODYLANGUAGE
HOLY FUCK OP
SHOULDA GAVE HER THE D MANE

>ok just for 5 microwave times
I KNOW WHAT A MICROWAVE IS BUT HOW LONG IS A MICROWAVE TIME

It's like when it's 59 seconds and then plus one an you have 1:00 on the counter, so that's a one microwave time.

...

So that means that there are 1440 microwave times in a day?

I hate Sup Forums at 5:00 AM

thanks

>be in charge of wifi in my students dorm
>just finished new router config and new fiber connection installation
>people happy, me very proud

>bitch student telling me that connection doesnt work
>bullshit.deb and pleaserestart.sh
>Moving on.

>keeps like this for all day. Insisted like 5 times or so.

>nighttime, going to my room to sleep, neighbor students and firends go with me
>this bitch comes after me
>be yelling for 5 MicTimes about how i dont givena shit about internet connection, and how Im an autist prick that nobody likes.
>in front of my friends
>okay.jpg "boys, lemme check this out see you later"
>go to her room.

>Fucking WiFi physical switch is OFF
>switch on
>bitch goes white
>"A-user I'm s-so sorr..."
>turn around, exit the room with door slam.

Boy, back in college I was forced by the director to be in charge of the internet and techy stuff, and sure I got stories to tell.

Once, Telefonica cut connectionnfor the entire distric for maintenance,and I just let my room door open son I could yell "I know it doesnt work, is not my fault" to people coming.

When the stream of people kept on for like 30 minutes, i opened up matlab, and issued the "toilet" command that opens up a simuling window with a complete toilet simulation, with sound.

Evytime someone came to my room i'd say "ok lemme check" and push flush.

And more than once, there was some people saying "oh! i see, ok user I hope that it comes back soon"

>Hurdur they all dumbs, they keep coming
doesn't have a communication problem to their users

Awww man, and that director. A 60something yr old woman that was completely illiterate, and so used to bureaucracy that, bullshitism, and not having fucking idea of whats going on was a routine for her.

>be in her office discussing network related stuff, or whatever
>phone rings
>phone asks how many students from overseas we have in the residence.
>she correctly opens MSExcel, and tells it to order students by nationality, successfully.

>selects first student
>index finger pointing down, hovering the "down arrow"
>"Ok Sandra, lemme count. ooone twoooo threeeeee fooooour fiiiive"
>SHE FUCKING BASHES THE DOWNARROW AS SHE COUNTS.
>*CLACK CLACK CLACK*
>ALL THE WAY TO EIGHTY-FUCKING-FIVE

I felt my guts burning with each key bash. Also, having a mousewheel, she used to scroll pages clicking the sidebar arrows

1
2
3 4

What do you mean? It was a 250 student dormitory, and not all people knew each other.

I left the door open so they could ask me on the subject, whats wrong with it? I wasn't exactly charming, but got the job done.

Also, the stupidity on their part was that some people were taking a toilet flush sound as a valid technical response to "is the internet working?"

I would just put up a notice on the front door of your flat saying "internet down, nothing I can do" with an ETA to check back lel

But then again I would probably end up creating an rpi to display the status too

If you keep getting angry at this meme you are probably a spoiled brat who never had to deal with retards in they entire life

>Sup Forums
>18+

Welp not all people are the same, I lived two years in a 200ish ppl dormitory and made 7 friends
Then I moved to another college, and in two weeks make to befriend my whole class of 100 peapole

Wow. I missed out.

It was a residence full of health related people, like medics or dentists. Also people from journalism and law.

My friends are all engineers or architects, of not-illiterate letters people, and they would get the joke.

When they came to my room we hung out a bit, till dinner time.

One of them went like: when asked about the internet, he would click the reload button hard, like, struggling, and then put a sad face and say "not even clicking harder"

I left the door open because I knew we would end up meeting there.
Also there is people that would have knocked the door anyway.

>Some would knock anyway

Those people I like to call assholes

"Oh look, a sign saying the net is down and that there is nothing to be done, let's ask anyway"

How do you convert seconds to microwave time anyway?
Let's say you have 60 seconds; that would be 00:60 but if you have 61 seconds it would be 1:01. What is this wizardry? Also how is 00:80 the same as 1:20?

4K microwave times coming soon

It was infuriating sometimes. Although I was in charge of the internet only, people would still call me to solve stupid shit on their computers.

Around half of them were staceys and chads that wouldnt talk to me in any other situation.

This was even fostered by the director. She would send me computer troubled people to my room, even though i said they werent my problem. I can remember this one:

>phone rings
>"user! Director here. Hey boy can you help us with this poor girl, the compuer sorta fucked up her phd work, i'll let her tell you"
>"no Director I've already told you about thi-"
>some girl suddenly speaks with thick south american accent, and unpaused monotonic voice
>"hello I'm Illiterate i just bought my new lenovo 2 years ago and now it doing strange things i was working with msword and close without saving so I told my new lenovo to recover and now i cant find anything on my new lenovo"

>"you heard it user, what do we do?"
>"what? How did you tell- ahrm. Damn, I'll go there"

>go down the meeting hall because i wasnt doing anything anyway.
>Find rat-faced girl with laptop, director sit next to her.

>"what did you do, how did you tell the laptop to recover?"
>"I close msword without saving, so, to recover, i push this recovery button, and wait"
>she points at the factory restart button
>desktop looks too clean

She fucking wipe her laptop with factory settings, trying to recover unsaved work! Her 3-yr old phd was there!

>say there is nothing I can do
>kinda blane lenovo for putting such destructive button so accesible
>get out