Post story of when you realized everybody who doesn't like Solus is a shill

Post story of when you realized everybody who doesn't like Solus is a shill.

>in basement eating tendies
>mom calls from upstairs
>grab AR-15 and charge up stairs
>shout "grenade out!"
>see someone jump behind the couch to take cover
>shout "HAH"
>in reality, have no grenade
>a ruse, it was
>fire several rounds into couch, plastering the wall behind in blood and gore
>in storms a police officer ready to make an arrest
>laugh at him and say "Doesn't anybody understand ironic humor anymore?"
>point rifle at foot and fire seven rounds into it
>collapse from the pain to the ground and scream loudly
>cop helps you up
>"HAH"
>bite him in the neck and tear out his spinal cord
>fooled another victim
>truth be told, you always carry rocks in your socks for just such a situation
>press a button hidden in your battlestation, turning the entire house into a plane
>your dog walks up
>dog: "Solus is a bad distro. The kevinnet is harmful."
>nearly miss it
>right there
>well, in a manner of speaking anyway
>about twenty seven and a half miles away, Jim Whitehurst and Bill Gates are fellating each other while holding a leash made from spiderwire ultracast invisi-braid, which connects directly into the poor hound
>place rifle to canine's forehead and fire

and you?

I prefer not to be part of the kevinnet botnet, thank you.

Yeah, okay, shill. How can you resist this desktop, Mr. Whitehurst?

>ugly desktop
>shitty package management
>kevinnet
>slow as fuck

Why?

fuck you bill

Fucking disgusting bloat. Here's my desktop.

I don't even understand what's going on anymore.

Was there actually malware in Solus?

I haven't seen anyone deny it yet

Yes, haven't you been fucking reading?

Doesn't look anywhere near as beautiful as Budgie.

>he thinks kevinnet is fake

No, but the shills are spreading that story. It's Red Hat and Microsoft doing this.

Nice try Bill.

And nice try Jim.

And nice try Bill again.

Better luck next time, but you stick out like sore thumbs. Your noses look like Captain Hook's fake hand.

>Nice try Bill.
Notice how the shills don't deny Solus is a botnet

>How to recognize a Jim Whitehurst post 101
Step 1: Find posts that look like this fag's.

>Find posts that look like this fag's.
You mistake me for an anti Solus shill, but really I'm just a concerned citizen. I simply wanted to hear someone say, "Solus is not a botnet." But I have not heard anyone say so. And now you're using "fag" as a derogatory term? Your blatant homophobic discrimination has cemented my decision not to use Solus, the bigoted OS

Sorry, guys, but I don't believe you. Seems too sketchy to me. Solus is perfectly safe according to the Solus Wiki.

I'm convinced that is actually a Red Hat shill pretending to be a racist Solus user so that Solus users look racist.

I, on behalf of the Solus community, apologize for this discriminatory statement, and we hope you will install Solus in the future. Thank you.

Oh, also

>How to recognize a Jim Whitehurst post 101
Step 1: Find posts that look like this gentleman's.

Well of course it is. The wiki is obviously supportive of Solus. Where's your common sense?

>racist
Nice try Red Hat scum.

First, you pretend to be homophobic to make all Solus users look homophobic, then you pretend to be a Solus user who also doesn't understand the differences between racism and homophobia, so that Solus users look even MORE bigoted? This is terrible!

I'm convinced that (You) is actually a Red Hat shill pretending to be a homophobic Solus user so that Solus users look homophobic.

I, on behalf of the Solus community, apologize for this discriminatory statement, and we hope you will install Solus in the future. Thank you.

>How to recognize a Jim Whitehurst post 101
Step 1: Find posts that look like this gentleman's.
>How to recognize a Jim Whitehurst post 101
Step 1: Find posts that look like this gentleman's.

>(You)
Nice try Red Hat Scum.

First, you pretend to be homophobic to make all Solus users look homophobic, then you pretend to be a Solus user who also doesn't understand the differences between racism and homophobia, so that Solus users look even MORE bigoted and finally you pretend you were replying to yourself so it looks like even more pro-Solus anti-Red Hat shilling? This is terrible!

I'm convinced that is actually a Red Hat shill pretending to be a homophobic Solus user so that Solus users look homophobic.

I, on behalf of the Solus community, apologize for this discriminatory statement, and we hope you will install Solus in the future. Thank you.

>How to recognize a Jim Whitehurst post 101
Step 1: Find posts that look like this gentleman's.
>How to recognize a Jim Whitehurst post 101
Step 1: Find posts that look like this gentleman's.

/kevinnet general/ thread

Okay, Microsoft.

install solus

install solus

install solus

FUCK SOLUS AND FUCK YOUR KEVINNET

Hello master

Install Solus

Install Solus

Fucking kevinnet fag

Install Gentoo

...

Cool story. I was in my office when I remembered my name was Jim Whitehurst and I started posting anti-solus threads on Sup Forums. Solus sucks or something btw

>installs solus
>read about kevinnet
>get paranoid
>keyboard stops working
>webcam turns on for half a second
>fuckthatshit.jpg
>uninstalls solus

Great to see everyone appreciating such a mighty fine operating system! Praise be to Kevin Purnell

you made the right choice user.

Inatall solus

My name is Parnell and I am not on the Solus project payroll.

Install solus!

>systemd

FUCK YOUR KEVINNET YOU PIECE OF SHIT

I legitimately believe solus is malware

...

The face of a faggot botnet'er

Go fuck yourself

No buly