How do i sex a gril?

Which Linux distribution should I install on this grill's 2008 macbook to get her to fuck me?

General low resource Linux Distribution thread


OS needs to be
Aesthetically and functionally similar to Snow Leapord -> So she doesn't sperg out on me for "CHANGING EVERYTHING"
Javascript Fast -> So she can stream the X-files and Narcos on Netflix
VLC fast -> So she can watch classic torrented HD pron
Excellent browser support -> So she can msg me on fb, check out how to grow cool plants and read about ghosts, (she needs that multitabbed expereince)

Also no I'm not cucked, this girl is going to fuck me if I do this or not. I just want it to create a intimiate expereince where we customize her distro to suit her cute user experience (getting stoned and watching old tv shows)

She'll be physically buffetted by my waves of compentency. Overcome by my cutting perception of her Software Requirments etc etc she starts snuggling up to watch the magic happen and next thing we fucking

So req some OS's that are complementary to this plan pls

Other urls found in this thread:

lifehacker.com/lastpass-hacked-time-to-change-your-master-password-1711463571
addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/session-manager/
twitter.com/AnonBabble

bump for interest

MacOS

Fill it with your dick pics. Can't see how that can go wrong.

Gentoo

Elementary or that Solaris or whatever the meme distro is called

>Which Linux distribution should I install on this grill's 2008 macbook to get her to fuck me?

>this girl is going to fuck me if I do this or not.

Children.

I don't think she can upgrade it, she said it was stuck on Snow Leapord..

man i'm just trying to kill a couple birds with one stone

insert some linux into the normie user base
help someone out with their shitty computer problems, she's too poor to afford a new one
also get laid

no need to be rude sir

>macbook
The only sex you're going to get with that is with men.

Poorfag huh?

Show her your wealth and generosity with a new laptop.

Dump Girlfriend and install gentoo. Women are cancer anyways.

>classic
>torrented
>HD
>pron

pick one

Penis long -> nigger, cuck

Go upgrade your dick, computers are small time

eOS

Libreboot + Gentoo hardened

Post a photo of this alleged gril.

SOLUS
O
L
U
S

you'll never get sex using an OS that doesn't work, like linoox.

>How do i sex a gril?

Elementary OS. ( if it meets the system requirements )

I'm running an old 2009 MacBook lubuntu as a comfy shitposting/media laptop.

This, probably. I've heard it is for newfags and is all about aesthetics so it's perfect for your dumb girlfriend.

Used to have Elementary as my Firefox and Chrome theme.

(((she)))
>implying

It's okay if you want to fuck a guy but don't be delusional

Elementary OS. Bar none.

Elementary or Solus

kek

Why it's elementary my dear OP.

OK going with elementary OS, checked it out and it looks perfect, thanks Sup Forumsuys

next thing I guess is cute custom GUI add ons and stuff/web browser add ons.

Can anyone drop some recommended ad-blocker add-ons

Music/Movies players

youtube downloader maybe?

cute/funny UI widgets :^)

For fuck's sakes, Kevin

I use these extensions for Chrome and Firefox.

AdBlockPlus of course

Lazarus Form Recovery Tool

Greasemonkey

DownloadThemAll (So useful for porn)

Save and Exit

I haven't used a media player beside VLC since 2009, so I don't know enough about them. But it suits me.

I think every computer needs CCleaner and a torrenting 0app.

Also consider a password locker. Last time I checked LastPass was the one supported on the most platforms. But they were recently sold to a company with a negative reputation. And you are uploading sensitve info into the cloud which is always a risk.

lifehacker.com/lastpass-hacked-time-to-change-your-master-password-1711463571

Thanks heaps man this is actually super useful

What kind of greasemonkey scripts do you run?

I think something that removes all shitty ads on those streaming websites would be pretty cool. Or some sort of collection of streaming sources run through grease monkey idk basically web version of Exodus.

>AdBlockPlus
>not uBlock Origin

>VLC
>not Mpv

>torrenting 0app

Use Deluge.

By "Save and Exit" I am guessing you mean Session Manager.

addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/session-manager/

uBlock is arguably better than ABP. More efficient, but I find it is sometimes too aggressive and blocks too much.

Just fuck off

Please

Don't do free tech help for free, especially if you are so positive that she's fucking you anyway. You wouldn't ask an automotive technician or even barber for a free engine replacement or haircut. Even if you did find a good GNU/Linux setup for her, she wouldn't be very amazed because she's a woman. I don't even know why I'm replying to your likely shitpost.

Anything significantly less resource hungry isn't going to be user-friendly enough or isn't going to be designed to be very aesthetically pleasing to a normie. Elementary OS is a fat piece of shit. Just install Ubuntu 16.04 with numix theme and icons, and tweak the color of the launcher.

don't listen to these faggots, qbittorrent for torrenting, VLC because it needs to be simple (even through mpv is better) and uBlock Origin as ad blocker

hi

She's a normie. She wouldn't a fat piece of shit, if one flew in her mouth.

Elementary is as its name implies simple. It is designed for people like her who kicked the dangerous habit of Mac OS.

It will not be dangerous and will not need a steep learning curve for the tech illiterate.

And it has the most aesthetically pleasing, and instantly identifiable GUI. Especially the icons and buttons.

gey

Windows 10

Nice

Deepin Linux

Do custom ad blocking in her /etc/hosts so she knows u are 1337

Ubuntu MATE, Solus MATE (haven't used, but looks good), or Linux Mint Cinnamon/MATE should work nicely.

pic. on the side is what my current setup looks like. I'm using Antergos with the Cinnamon desktop.

Debian

Just use Xubuntu

>Can anyone drop some recommended ad-blocker add-ons
µblock origin

>Getting a glorious MacBook 2,1
> Not installing Libreboot and Triskel for a full free experience

He cant do so.
Its Sup Forums

Best option is solus with budgie, it's the best casual use distribution you can get a the moment, anyone who says otherwise is a sweaty nerd.

None really. No matter what you do with her macbook you're not going to get that.

Maybe if you buy her a new one or do something out of the ordinary she will, though.

Still, just use an average distro and make it look cute. XFCE with a few tweaks can be enough.

Are you sure about that? I once helped a girl with her computer problems, she acted friendly with me, even hugging me but once I fixed everything she became distant and once I told her I have feelings for her she said something like this is a disgusting thought.

I hope you will fare better and have a nice time with this girl.

>Elementary

Isn't Elementary (and other Gnome Shell derivatives, like Cinnamon, etc) extremely bloated for a 2008 notebook?

Should he be using something light, like XFCE or MATE based?

Something like Debian Stable + XFCE netinstall
>install only what's necessary so few resources
>prettier than lxde and gtk can be made to be more mac like (unlike lxde or something qt based)
>install compton to fix screen tearing because for a normal user screen tearing is unacceptable
>install compton to have mac-like shadows to make her feel right at home and make xfce look modern
>lighter and simpler than mate, easier to use with fewer options (that's a plus for simple users)
>can be made rock solid because it's debian stable
>very few updates so less chances of something breaking, no risk of her thinking you are no good with computers
>easy maintenance so you can concentrate on having sex with her

You're thinking this all wrong.
Switching her to a a new OS is a very big step.
You should try to minimize the changes and use as much as you can from her old setup.

>cute custom GUI add ons and stuff/web browser add ons.
No cute stuff, keep it minimal
For web browser use whatever she used until now. Chrome and Firefox are both good.

>inb4 chromium/firefox-fork/non-mainstream-browser etc
You can't explain to her why Chromium or a Firefox-fork is better without sounding like an autist.
Stick to mainstream solutions for her.

>recommended ad-blocker add-ons
Only uBlock Origin, she will thank you for that if she doesn't know it
"Sell it" to her by telling her she can listen music on youtube without ad breaks
Don't go on a muh privacy/muh security tirade, she will be weirded out

>Music/Movies players
VLC because it's easy and she probably already used it

>youtube downloader
A simple firefox/chromium add-on.
Make a simple ffmpeg script so she can convert videos to mp3 with a right click on the file.

>cute/funny UI widgets
Just no, don't underestimate her intelligence

She's not an idiot but I think you're right,
If I can speed up snow leapord then there's not much point moving to solus/elementary really is there?

I really want to put some funny things on the desktoip

like dancing gifs that change daily, or just like wacky 2001 internet stuff..

obviously gentoo

>stuck on Snow Leopard
>"stuck"

Snow Leopard was the best OS X release so far. And the way Apple is shoveling buggy shit today it will probably be the best ever.