Stories thread

Stories thread.
Times you've had to deal with technologically, and literally illiterate people..

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>2016
>be me
>girl says her computer is broken
>what is it doing?
>idk
>ok bitch
>get to her house
>start the computer, WINDOWS 98 boots normally
>she says she downloaded a picture from a website and the computer crashes when she opens it
>picture.exe
>reply and upvote this comment
>or your mom will die in her sleep tonight


SHIT I CAN'T HANDLE THIS FUCKING NORMIES

FUCKING INSTALL GENTOO

sperglord much

>be me
>be now
>spend last 2 hours telling girl how to download mumble app and connect
>give step by step instructions on what to tap and what to enter
>still fucking waiting

sdaffffffffffffffffffffffff

sleep tight little pupperino

>be me
>work in a phone/laptop repair shop
>tell customer all data will be lost on laptop after rewriting OS
>customer says ok np
>fix laptop
>laptop is fresh and clean like never before
>few days go by
>customer looks at laptop
>"where is my data?"
>customer goes to local newspaper office and asks to write an article how repair shop deleted her book she has written and saved on laptop
this happens all day everyday

>on Sup Forums
>see people arent using mint
when will these illiterates learn?

This shit right here, how come "I will delete all your data" doesn't trigger any response from normies other than "oh okay np", then only moments later they come back screaming and crying about their lost cat pictures

Why even waste your time?

> 2010+6
> be me
> fresh w10 install
> fucking home edition

>be highschooler
>live with family
>have a laptop
>laptop is decent but still shit
>thankfully there's a powerful desktop
>desktop is shared with family because poverty
>work late at night all the time
>eyes hurt because blue light
>learn about f.lux
>install it on laptop
>wonderful.jpg
>also install in desktop
>illiterate beta sister uses desktop next day
>whines to me it hurts her eyes and ruins her performance when play lol
>fuck lol
>explain to her why f.lux is good
>she still whines
>annoyed but tell her she can disable it
>keeps whining saying that it uses too much pc power
>cringe.png
>whines to parents
>parents love her more, no idea why
>they side with her
>they all think f.lux is literally the devil
>they force me to uninstall it on both the pc and my laptop
>my eyes are still hurting

Fuck her.

Yesterday my parents bought a new $400 TV for the kitchen

They fucking refuse to swap out their old SD cable box for an HD one

The picture quality looks like shit and there's ghosting everywhere but they insist it looks fine so there's no need to get a new cable box

They might as well have just stuck with the old CRT TV they had me throw out

install redshift

How do I upvoted this fuck

Painful

>>still fucking waiting
she installed the app ages ago, she just doesn't want to talk to you.

My dad still records TV using VHS tapes.

>Times you've had to deal with technologically, and literally illiterate people..
this one time on Sup Forums someone tried to tell me debian is better than ubuntu

ahahahah epic shitpost

Asking myself the same thing.
She finally figured it out, its all just going down hill though... Im about to just quite.

also mumble so far sucks. I dont know if its the vm or what, but this is unacceptable.

>"apple is fucking shit only retards and mongoloids use that shit" - uncle
>10 mins later he asks me how to sign into his gmail account
>the same account he's been using for almost 5 years
>i be obtuse and tell him i dont know what gmail is

wow. She literally had it on speakerphone this whole time so it was causing the constant echo looping then bitching about it.
why the fuck cant females understand basic shit

Had my first encounter with an immigrant from the middle-east yesterday ( I am Australian)

I stopped at the big city park while cycling to chill. I see a storm cloud and check the weather radar - oh shit - there is a severe storm rolling in from the south - we are going to get smashed

anyhows this whole group immigrants plonk down next to me and start setting up soccer and volley ball nets - i walk up to them and say they might want pack it up - there is a storm rolling in fast.

not one of them spoke english so i whip out my phone and point to this big chunk of red on the weather radar - they didnt get it. i point at the cloud and the screen and say "boom 15 minute" - they get it - but not really the seriousness so i walk off

a few minutes later one guy walks back to me and says something in arabic and points at my phone - i guess he wants the website - he pulls out his phone and i point at the browser bar - " B O M DOT GOV DOT AU" - he looks at me confused and says "no no" i look at his phone and the browser address bar is all in arabic - he cant even enter it into his phone. he can barely use the browser - i realise this situation is hopeless and ride off

Literally the most useless human being i have ever met - totally unaware of his surroundings - cant communicate - cant even navigate to a weather website on a smart phone browser.

I am still fucking bothered by it.

i live in brisbane too
i know literal actual retards who live in halfway houses with drivers licenses
same retard who decided to crush his new smartphone just for fun
some real fucking freaks live on the northside

Swss

I wish I knew the original context of that photo.

pls no
upvote

thanks mr skeltal

Fuck u

tricked buddy into looking at completely blatant lemonparty and meatspin links over and over again, completely out in the open just messaging him on AIM "hey check out this video of Nirvana playing www.meatspin.com"

there used to be a really good one "hey everybody I'm looking at gay porn!" and the window would float around the screen . he wanted to fight me IRL for that one (you sent me a virus) it probably was but Joe was just stupid af

he's in prison rn

m.fark.com/comments/5504947/62147449#c62147449

Guy looks a lot better nowadays.

fuck you at least you didn't get quints

never seen retard like that before

>being illiterate himself
ubuntu is shit, debian of course is/was better

not sure what's the situation now because i'm not using it since debian 7

>Be me
>Medical school
>IT teacher and network maintenance is a drunkard chill guy with no knowledge of IT.
>End up supplementing him because I feel sorry for him.
>Fixing a burnt dataprojector
"user, clean it please, it's dusty."
>Opeen the dust filter
>A horde of dust bunnies jump out of the fucking air filter
astmathic delight.avi
>Open dataprojector
>Smell of burnt dust, lead, and more dust hits my nostrills.
What the fuck.sai
>Internally scream
>Inhale a lungfull of air, into my smoker lungs
>Breathe out
>Everything is darkness¨

FF 2 weeks later
>New projector lamp comes in.
>Wrong model.
FF 2 weeks again.
>wrong model
questioning reality.js
>Three days later, I get the right one, and fix the projector.
>Everything works for once, jesus thanks.

>In the meantime, the broken projector has been supplemented by another, without the remote.
>Ceiling mounted.
>The screen has to be flipped upside down, to show properly on the projector.
>The monitor is upside down to show properly
what the fuck.video
>Remove spare projector.
>Some mocca caramel fucking indian dicked with the mount on the ceiling.
>Balancing on a damn ladder, eight meters up.
>End up haaving to unscrew the entire mount to fit the projector on.
>All while a class is running.
Why.psd
>Put projector on.
>Plug in VGA
>Nothing.
>Just projector screen showing, searching for inputs.
>THE FUCKING NIGGERS UNPLUGGED THE VGA AND TOOK IT INTO HDMI- THE CABLE FOREVER LOST IN THE QUANTUM ENTANGLEMENT OF USED AND UNUSED WIRES
>Unplug PC from everything.
>Untie the medusa of wires
>Plug everything in 90 miutes later.
>Everythig works
The teacher bought me a pack, and I smoked it the same day.


I have a *lot* more.

Fuck, forgot name.

aesthetic

Gonna post one anyway.

>Projector burnout again.
>The new spare projector doesn't have any screwholes.
"Sir, how am I supposed to attach it to the mount? Copper wire?"
>"Briliant idea!"
>Get a good two meter's worth of copper wire.
>Tie the fucking projector to the ceiling.
>Everything just werks

Do people really download file.extension.exe in this day in age? Are people still that fucking retarded?

My mom thought an black Xbox 360 S was a cable box and just placed the coax where you plug the power into.

Laughed my ass off when I found it.

>start new job
>meet "IT guy"
>introduce him to the novel concept of multi-head displays
>"Really? You can plug more than one screen into a single computer?"
>i show him how to plug a 23" widescreen and a small 17" into his laptop docking station
>he goes to work somewhere else for a couple months
>comes back & someone else has stolen his widescreen to make their own multihead office computer
>IT guy starts to complain
>go over & open his laptop
>switch from mirror mode to extend mode
>he's our """""""""""IT guy""""""""""""""

Same workplace where the boss thinks the software we get given Xeons for will run fine on the spare 2nd gen i3's we have lying around.

reminds me of my sister who uses 4:3 signal on a new TV and doesn't want me to correct that. Maybe because she's a fatty and doesn't want to see fit people on the TV

>come to g for advice
>nobody here has any knowledge or experience
>post after post about java and python

those are the only 2 languages i know. Solve your own fkin problems.

just make data backup mandatory for PC repair and charge them extra

...

>it is literally the best beginner distro

what fucking shithole do you live in that a university is allowed to mount shit on the ceiling in this manner?

This is the epitome of Sup Forums

Post pics of sister

;^)

tfw no public parks with kohlrabi but plenty of illiterate refugee immigrants

FPBP

>browse Sup Forums
>literally everyday

>backup projector is a desk model when you need a mountable model
This is so fucking stupid it hurts.

Fake & gay

I tend to do random computer repair / assistance because sometimes I'm bored like hell.
>somewhere in Europe
>in an apartment complex where I know a bunch of fucks
>get called to one of the apartments where a bunch of scottish fucks where temporarily living
>basically one of them is an impatient cunt that hits his laptop when it grinds to a halt from the stupid shit it has to deal with
>the complaint is that the computer is slow, sometimes hangs, sometimes bluescreens, and at one time it produced a ticking noise
>moving parts + ill-advised kinetic shocks = dead hard drives
>basically take a look at it when it just so happens to randomly crash and burn
>bluescreen info essentially points to data corruption on the hard drive
>hard disk is now ticking like a nervous man with Parkinson's, laptop no longer boots
>explain what's wrong and why he shouldn't hit his fucking laptop
>extract hdd, hook up through usb to my laptop
>nothing but ticking, can't recover shit from a fucked drive
>ask him if he wants me to replace it with an SSD because those don't have moving parts and work a bit faster
>refuses but thanks me for the tip about SSDs
>fast forward few days
>see the same guy in the hallway
>he's a happy faggot because his shit is repaired
>basically he went to some big store so he could get his shit repaired fast or something
>thanks me for the tip about ssds as he shows me the laptop again and how happy he is with it
>mfw I can hear the nostalgic drive spinning sound
>ask him if he even asked for an ssd
>tells me no, he thinks that is basically the default now because it's modern
>mfw he never mentioned he wanted it replaced with an ssd so now he has an hdd again with a bloated shit install from some gayass shop that can't do shit right
>he gets mad once I point this out to him
>stomps off to the store because, in his words, "they ripped him off"

Some people I swear

> In class with normies trying to undertand basic linux concepts
> Teacher explains chmod comand
> 1h later
> my comrade panics and starts asking me for help
> what have you done bro?
> normie: I wanted to see "this" file so I chmod 777 /
> BTFO
> I put my fedora on and start repairing his mess
> done. Nothing in return

>make ei.cfg file
>place it in "sources" folder on the install directory

PROFIT

dat cultural integration tho

Huh

>Updated version.

weird, most desk projectors ive seen also had mounting holes...

>be in highschool
>in computer lab
>get bored
>boot up linux off usb to do homework
>tech admin sees me
>freaks the fuck out at the sight of linux
>can not comprehend how i did that
>claims im hacking
>mfw he doesnt know what a bios is
>mfw all he did was reimage the computer to prevent me from boot into linux

Oh boy, part of my job is helpdesk.

>install second monitor for some (female) coworker
>go back to my desk
>grab a coffee on the way back
>as soon as I sit down
>phone
>"user pls come over my monitor is just showing a blue screen"
>wtf bitch
>walk over
>see it's just the standard monochrome desktop background
>me: "It already works, you just have to pull the Outlook window over to the other screen and double click for it to go fullscreen"
>her: "how am I supposed to know this ?"
>i grab the mouse
>drag a fucking window over to the other screen
>double click
>voila
>her: "can you do that again I still don't understand"

Keeping a straight face during this whole ordeal was almost impossible.

>Stories thread.
Me: boss, we need a hack.
Boss: OK.

this

Yes, thanks to Windows still hiding known file extensions by default.

upboated

My dad keeps buying new TVs at bigger size because more size = better picture, right?

He has a bunch of sports channels that are 1080i but he never uses the HD channel, only the SD channels

Just recently bought a 55" 4K TV, still watching SD sports, I mean it's his money, but for fuck sake, do you like wasting it, pops?

Looks fine to me.

>not just leaving at let them get struck by lightning
tf were you on about user?

top fucking kekkles

My mother is a trove of this shit.

>Be me, age 14
>Play video games a lot, sometimes late into the night.
>Mom gets mad and threatens to go into the router settings and block my IP from 2AM to 8AM.
>I wake up the next day, and find that I am completely unable to do anything at 12AM.
>Tell mom she did the time limit wrong
>She says she didn't because she thinks she's fucking infallible
>Try to go into router settings, but she changed the password.
>Start fucking around with inspect element and sources to find the login script/authentication (Belkin)
>By some act of Cthulhu or equally powerful deity, the password is stored right there, in plaintext.
>AT&T-issued Belkin router
>Plaintext password stored in script.

>no_words.webm

>Anyways, I log into the router specifically to show her where she went wrong, and that, instead of 2AM to 8AM, she did 8AM all the way to 2AM, on the most basic fucking settings page ever.
>Her, in her infinite wisdom, is enraged that I was able to modify router settings
>To this day, 5 years later, whenever the wi-fi on her iPhone fucks up in even the most minute way, she yells across the house asking if I messed with the router.

Don't give a monkey a power tool. They won't know how to use it.
Good thing I'm in uni now. I can go on with this shit though.

I thought I was bad at installing OS's but this guy takes the cake

I have a few, wish I wrote down more. All personal experiences:

>now press enter
>"where?"
>on your keyboard?
>"I HAVE NO KEYBOARD"
>...
>"Oh wait, right"

>"yes, hello, I'm looking to buy some powerline adapters"
>we have x, y and z
>"how many millibits are those?"

>"I installed this microsoft scanner and it says my computer is broken!"
>try explaining for 10 minutes it's a junk program that's trying to get em to buy their 'fix'
>"BUT YOU SOLD ME THIS I THOUGHT I WAS PROTECTED AGAINST SHIT LIKE THAT
I came up with a good analogy to explain how an antivirus protects your computer, I'm sure more of you come across people like this:
>computer = house
>antivirus = alarm
>it will keep most thieves away
>but if you leave the door unlocked (= click accept on everything) they can still get in

>day old pc
>infected through every orifice
>"YOUR GUY THAT DELIVERED AND CONNECTED IT MUST HAVE DONE THAT"

>new ipad/S4/whatever shiny status symbol
>i dropped it/drove over it/dunked it in my salsa
>"what do you mean no warranty?!??"

>computer within warranty
>get bitched at because I won't fix the bloat and virii they installed themselves for free because muh warranty

>"my external hard drive crashed, can you please fix it"
>diagnose, it's fubar
>"BUT ALL MY PRECIOUS DATA DAT WAS MY BACKUP DISK"
>if it's a backup, you must have the originals on your computer, no?
>"NO I JUST TOLD YOU THAT WAS MY BACKUP"
>Well, if your data is so important, we can send it to a lab for recovery
>"YES"
>prices start at $1000 not including taxes
>"...nevermind, it's not -that- important"

>"my laptops' keyboard isn't working anymore"
>did you spill anything on it?
>"Nope"
>open it up
>sticky as fuck, brown goo, smells of coffee
>call em up
>someone spilled coffee over it, that'll be €80~150 (depends on brand) to fix
>"ermahgerd"

>"I tried plugging in my usb drive and my computer won't boot anymore"
>check the port
>plastic tab broken off
>all metal legs mangled together and mashed down
>show this to customer
>dat shame

>"my phone won't work anymore"
>did anything happen to it?
>"nope i take good care of it"
>take a closer look
>every corner has some dents
>even the fucking battery looks scratched
>explain this won't be covered by warranty because of user damage
>"omg that happened months ago and is totally not related"

>"my harddisk stopped working"
>"so I opened it up and took a look at it, that arm is just jumping up and down"
>"I checked online and they say you can replace this"
>explain how him opening it up already fucked it beyond repair, and that the people that can fix something like that do so in a controlled environment in a lab wearing special clothing and everything
>tfw that glimmer of hope dies

>customer brings in old pc for repairs
>turns out it can't be repaired
>he returns and rants for 15 fucking minutes about how horrible the service is
>we sold him crap, it is UNHEARD of that a computer dies after a mere 8 years of service etc etc

>pic 'fell down some stairs'
Legit the explanation we got.

>Help desk for a consulting company.
>Front desk representative has a problem with a custom software we use.
>"all right, now you need to press alt f9 " to close the order for the customer.
>"it's not doing anything "
>try to figure out what's wrong for like 5 minutes over the phone
>finally give up, take the elevator, walk thru 3 offices go to his desk to see him press alt , f , 9

>customer buys new tablet
>returns the next day, claims it has problems booting
>colleague turns it on, "now what was the problem exactly?"
>"no no no you're doing it all wrong"
>colleague turns it off again and hands it back "please show me the problem"
>customer holds down the power button until the screen comes on
>keeps holding it
>which, of course, causes the thing to turn off mid-boot
>"See! That's not supposed to happen!"
>Sir, you don't need to hold the power button for so long
>"Don't tell me what to do! I know my stuff!"
>other colleague that hasn't heard what happened butts in
>tells the customer the same thing
>"I AM RIGHT AND YOU ARE WRONG" etc
>he gets another tablet (against policy, but we're just trying to get him out of the store by now)
>returns later that day
>"THIS ONE HAS THE SAME PROBLEM"
>Boss flatout tells him he is the problem, and that he can have his money back if he promises to never set a foot in our store again
>customer calls us later that week
>he got a brandless tablet from a supermarket
>lo and behold, same problem
>still thinks he is doing it right and the technology is the problem

>What Windows are you using?
>"Windows 4?"
>"Wut?"
>"internet exploder 12"
>"Windows Vista 2010"
>"Word"
People still say "internet exploder" too.

>colleague gets a call
>customer has trouble with Java update
>somewhere in the process she gets a little window with the buttons "Ok" and "More information"
>colleague spend the next fifteen fucking minutes trying to explain that the OK was to continue
>and not an "OK, I want More information"
>in 4 years I've rarely seen that man upset, but in the end he was yelling

>spyware infected computer
>those typical "ZOMG UR INFECTED BUY THIS TO FIX" programs
>fix it, he picks it up
>calls us 2 hours later, his internet won't work, and that's our fault
>he reinstalled 3 of those progs
>he paid for em

His eyesight is probably getting worse at the same rate that his TV size increases.

>SD looks fine on my screen

>"I just bought this printer and it won't work"
>take a quick look, doesn't work indeed
>give customer a new one
>she's back within 15 minutes "I can't get the plastic protection out"
>suspiciousasfuck.apk
>take it out of the box
>the flatcable running to the printhead is dangling out the front
>"the manual said to take out all that plastic stuff"
>closely check the first printer
>she managed to yank out the flatcable completely
>and insisted she wasn't at fault, the manual was unclear

>our external drive stopped working
>my brother is good with this stuff, he took a look at it but can't fix it either
>could you try to recover my photos?
>"Sure thing"
>as I pick up the disk I notice the top sticker is loose
>... did your brother open this (the actual disk) as well?
>"Yes?"
>politely explain how it's most likely FUBAR now
>Her smile and optimism: Gone

>customer addicted to some browser game
>plays on laptop with broken fan
>has to -run- to freezer every hour to switch out the cold packs its resting on

>I just lost everything on my phone!
>swipe to next homescreen
>"oh"

>old lady calls us about a problem with her phone
>start explaining something
>she stops me because she can't find her phone
>5 minutes later she realizes it's the one she's calling with

>laptop won't boot
>Have you tried to remove the battery?
>"When I push button a slide comes out is that battery?"

>repair a PC
>customer does system restore immediately after pickup, back to the point when it was fucked
>because his printer didn't work anymore
>of course it's our fault it's fucked again

>customer buys screenprotector and insists he can apply it himself
>expect so see him within a week with sand, hairs and bubbles on his screen like 80% of 'I can do this'ers
>he returns soon indeed
>used the plastic film that protects the screenprotector instead of the actual screenprotector

>"I get this window on my screen and don't know what to do!?"
>Which buttons can you click on?
>"What exactly do you mean with 'buttons'?"

>Can you send me a screenshot of the bug?

I, of course, imagined she'd printscreen, add it as a mail attachment and send that.
Man, was I naive back then.

Here's what I believe she did:
She took a photo of the screen, pasted that into word, printed the document out (In "draft" quality), scanned it back into another machine using the fastest, low res mode possible, had the scanner E-Mail her the .jpg image file, E-Faxed that file to someone else who scanned it in again and then that person sent me the result.

It was utterly unrecognizable. It could have been modern art. How can these people think this is acceptable?

How are women so creatively incompetent when it gets to technology? It wouldn't even occur to me to do something like that even to someone I despite.

I have ubuntu why is mint better?

those drives look comfy as fuck

Mint is trash don't listen.

You had me up to the E-Fax.

Yeah, I wasn't even mad, just impressed.

No its not, the house is littered with the things and he never watches them back anyway.

I'm going to start secretly throwing them out.

Hey, I had to guess that part. So of course I exaggerated.
It was a different account that mailed that image, though, so I can't help but wonder if maybe the image made an(other) unnecessary analog detour.
It also definitely was pasted into office. I sure wonder why.

How hard is it to just make a high quality screenshot today? 2 seconds of google and you know what to do.
How can unemployment be real when you can be this incompetent and still get and keep a job?

>>stomps off to the store because, in his words, "they ripped him off"
Just another day in Scotland.

Every time I start to think I should work part time at a computer repair shop, Im read this sort of stuff.
Do you ever have good days, or just ok days?

>not doing factory reset to change the password back to default

that just reminds me how I helped my roommate's dad FOR FREE, reinstalling his shitty windows vista.
backuped everything, but his fucking browser history, and bookmarks.

Then he claimed I deleted his email address(given by the ISP), and facebook. He havent deleted browser history roughly 7 years ago.

Had to call his isp for an email pass reset, then backed up facebook pass. His precious bookmarks gone forever.

Never helping anyone.

knew a guy whose highschool tech teacher thought the students should get introduced to linux
>puts ubuntu on all the computers
>Instructs students to move some files or do some bullshit
>guy I know opens terminal and does it through cli because muh efficiency
>"tech teacher" flips the fuck out about him "hacking the computers"
>escalates the situation to sending him to the principals office
>"tech teacher" explains the student was hacking
>principal bans him from using any of the schools computers for tampering with them.
>ban was either rest of the year or permanently, cant remember.

Most days are great. Awesome colleagues, and most people actually are very cooperative & grateful, even though they know shit about computers.
I can deal with lack of knowledge, as long as they either acknowledge they don't know anything about it & give me carte blanche, or at least try to learn.
I really enjoy helping people. For instance no matter how often I have to drive to my parents' place to help with something minor, I just can not lose my patience or drive.
And to see a sweet old ladies' face light up when I fix her mail on her ipad, makes me forget all the impatient & incompetent fucks that I had to deal with before.
Reminds me, one time there was this 70someting year old lady, she came to the desk, and her story started with "so I reinstalled windows on my laptop..." and my heart sank, but turns out she couldn't get one particular driver to work.
She told me her motto was 'if you don't try, you don't learn'. Loved it.

And I occasionally get to build stuff like this.

there is no cultural integration, only destruction.

>be me

most likely the poor dude was just scared that a 1 years old is better than him, cmon he is a teacher, what did you expect?