Knock at your door from your local police

Knock at your door from your local police.
They'd like a search and inspection of your computer/s and its/their contents, they have a search warrant.

What will you do? How will you respond, Sup Forums?
How fucked are you?

I wake up

I'm fine desu, I have good security practices

nothing to hide.

Are you obliged to decrypt it?

If they have some kind of super computer that would be able to unscramble the 3 degaussing magnets I have around my desktop, then I deserve to go to jail lol

They can't make me tell them the encryption password.

Always with the same bullshit line.

Everyone has something to hide.

Jesus have you never been served with a warrant? The warrant would be for you to remove those too. If you don't do it they will hold you in county jail indefinitely until you do.

Random people I have things to hide. Law enforcement is a different question. If it's jail v them seeing some papers and reports I saved, it's a more difficult question desu.

Ideally you would hope officers would respect your privacy to an extent, and not use the info outside the scope of an investigation. Or not try to use information they found out of context to "get you" for something.

Best to take precautions and leave something for them to find, and hide more personal or private information.

what the fuck are you weirdos hiding?

do you all have cp on your computers or something? the fuck?

I'd go out on a limb and say that most of us haven't been served with a warrant because we don't download CP or deal drugs.

Tell them I don't care, close the door, lock it

Go for it. There's some embarrassing stuff on my computer, but nothing (aside from downloaded movies) illegal.
If private information from my PC gets leaked somehow, the local PD is going to have it's angus stretched.

Seriously, if you have incredibly sensitive (or illegal) data, you are an idiot if you leave it sitting on your HD, encrypted or not.
An encrypted, hidden micro SD used only on live boot systems is the minimum. They can't ask you to decrypt information they don't find.

Sadly, yes, you can be held in contempt of court if you refuse to provide the encryption key.

Nothing besides games and furry porn

>Everyone has something to hide.
>Everyone stores illegal content

I'd laugh. Only utter fools put compromising information on computers or even want to.

True security is invisibility. Invisibility means having a perfectly innocent metadata profile with no evidence of ever trying to secure anything.

I would be fine having an NSA babysitter roomie if he was clean and paid the rent. IDGAF because I not only have nothing the goverment would care about, I might need my old security clearance back one day.

Please. Monitor me.

Can't you get your way out of it if you say you have sensitive work documents on it?

go ahead pussy i dont give a fuck ill smoke crack in front of them too

To an extent... they'll get your business involved though, which would not be a good idea if you're lying.

Might as well let 'em. They won't find anything.

Not fucked at all.

Send 'em an invoice for wasting my time since I use my computers for work.

Quit shitposting

Do you seriously want back into the IC that bad?

Sure officers, just a minute.

>How to get shot by the police and die like a nigger

>anything left on the other side of the door
Ok.

That's right, you'll kill the 2 officers standing in the doorway, and the rest will immediately recognize your 4th amendment rights and leave.

I had a detective take my computer a year ago looking for pictures of my ex-girlfriend accused me of blackmailing her with them; well it'll be a year in January and I haven't heard from the detective once.

There were no pictures on there so I assume he's salty and just doesn't want to give back my PC.

Should I call him and ask him when I can get it back or call a lawyer?

Honestly, the price of a lawyer is probably more than building a new computer and all I had on there was music, movies and games.

Should I just say fuck it and let the pig keep it?

>How will you respond, Sup Forums?
OK come on in officer one of my computers has failsafes to delete decryption keys so I'll tell you how to handle that one
>How fucked are you?
because of the nature of whats on my HDDs and my mental history I could probably get an insanity plea or turn into a snitch

d-did you quote the snowden movie? I thought his line was kinda shitty - I prefer the "ok so you hand it over to x and x gets hacked, now all your info gets leaked, every message you've ever sent is now publically searchable by almost anyone"

Swap out computer with a dummy machine and hide the real one in a safe hidden space

You want to hide your pron from your family but who cares about some random agent.
>huh this guy has shitty porn taste
> what was his name again?
>whatever i don't care nothing suspicious there
Exactly this happens in any fbi agent brain.
>nothing to hide
===
>nothing compromised is stored there
If you're too dumb to understand that, you should consider drinking bleach it's good for your brain.

have you?

deliver faggot, greentext that shit

You should be able to file with your DA to get it back, and they should return it as long as the case that it is attached to is closed or dismissed. You shouldn't have waited a year, though.

Also, are you sure that it was a detective and not her uncle or something? It seems really strange for them to seize the PC in that case, because possessing the pictures is not a crime, but threatening her with them is. This means they should be trying to find the communication, which would be with the teleco in the form of texts/phone calls, or FB/whomever via chat logs.

nice try FBI

Not fucked at all, maybe be some raised eyebrows big fuckin whoop

nothing to hide...

Nothing too bad. Just a lot of porn from auto-downloading prron threads for a few weeks. Am concerned that there might be illegal content considering I've not barley looked through the folders.

This concerns me as I have a trucrypt file with an encryption key that I have forgotten. But I keep the file with the hopes I remember the key


Very little illegal software, I pay for my adobe, I watch films and TV on neetflix/NowTV I listen to spotify.

get a lawyer you cuck

Yeah, they subpoenaed my 2-3 e-mail accounts looking for any threatening e-mails but they didn't find shit.

Yeah, I figured it was weird too but I bet she said I had CP or something on it so they took it so they could do a deep search.

So do I call the detective and ask him when I can get my property back or do I find the DA (not sure how) and file/speak to them.

I waited a year because she also got a restraining order against me and it expires on on the 8th of January; I figured a year would be more than enough time for them to file charges or not.

And if they didn't in that entire year, then they don't have shit on me.

Its on the cloud ;)
Good luck getting google to comply

Legal software (I can afford it).
No pirated apps/movies/music.
Boring life for the most part (ethical and loves Jesus).
Browsing history is filled with tech, news, and motorcycle related content.

whatevers.

>Jesus have you never been served with a warrant?

uh, no...

that's not something that usually happens to be people friend.

A lawyer is going to cost $500+ and my computer is valued at maybe $1,000. There's nothing on there can can't be replaced so I'm just going to build a new one and keep bugging the detective and the DA until I get my old one back.

Either you're not in the U.S., or you're retarded. The 5th amendment prohibits citizens from being forced to say self-incriminating things; this is where 'You have the right to remain silent' and 'Pleading the fifth' comes from. This extends to knowledge like passwords. It doesn't, however, apply to biometrics. If you got served with a warrant that said you had to give up a password and you actually did it, then your lawyer might even have been more autistic than you.

Of course, if you live in an even more Orwellinan society like the UK, you're fucked.

*2nd

oh, i didnt know you lived in GTA. in reality, killing cops doesnt magically go away because you lay low for a few minutes.

>So do I call the detective and ask him when I can get my property back or do I find the DA (not sure how) and file/speak to them.

Contact your local county clerk, they should be able to get you in contact with the DA for your case. Or just hire a lawyer and get them to do it for you. I highly advise you not to talk directly to the DA.

Your right to bear arms was never being contested, we're worried about search and seizure here.

>The rest
A standard house search they probably won't send more than the standard 2 officers (unless they're trying to grab a lot of stuff). So unless they're super quick on the radio this would work.

At least until the neighbors call the cops.

Source: I've had my house searched by police before.

Are they keen on music and movies piracy?

I'm not an American degenerate and thus I have rights

See that's the weird part, there is no case (just a report number) and a detective from the Family Crimes Unit.

I've called him every 2-3 months and asked him when I get my PC back and each time he said he can't tell me that since he's investigating.

Obviously, if he found something then he would write a report and then submit it to the DA and they would determine if they should officially file charges and then go from there.

None of that has happened; I assume he's still 'investigating' but isn't doing shit.

Any advice? I don't want to hire a lawyer because that isn't cheap and the PC isn't worth that much to me. I was told that I would get it back when they're done investigating but who the fuck knows how long that'll take.

Start sucking their dicks like Big Daddy Donald Trump taught me. Fuck freedom and all that jazz. Sucking authoritarian cock is the most important thing. Merry Christmas All!

>chuck the cp hard drive far into the neighbor's yard

You'd probably want to talk to a lawyer then, I'm not positive but if they don't actually charge you with anything then the Statute of Limitations may have even already kicked in, in which case they can't do shit anyway. Of course even then they can just call it civil forfeiture and keep your shit.
If it wasn't a good computer (worth at least a couple grand or more) I'd say write it off as a loss and don't stick yer dick in crazy next time.

Yeah, I'm just going to write it off as a loss.

He has actual woman beaters and rapists to chase so I'm sure he's all but forgot about my bullshit.

Going to build a new one in January and it's like you said:

Don't stick your dick in crazy.

Thanks for the advice, comrade.

>t. pedo

>be me 16 year old doing drugs
>cops knock on the door
>they search my room but don't find anything because I threw away the joint
>big ass knife sitting on the table
they didn't even say anything

I'd give them a hard time about it because muh rights but they wouldn't find anything but some torrented anime. If you use your computer for illegal activity or engage in cp viewing of any kind buy you deserve to get v&d and killed by horse dick impalement.

>MacOS
Apple wouldn't even let the FBI take data
I'm safe :-)

>pig people breaking into your home because you smoke pot

Actually the investigation was for something different, but I believe they were watching me cause I was doing hella drugs.

>Sadly, yes, you can be held in contempt of court if you refuse to provide the encryption key
Haha, ok. Who came up with that? I have 5th amendment rights.

OP you forgot the format

>"Get on the ground, fucko! Squad, take his computer and all other electronics!"

>implying they stand right in front of the door,

if they even remotely think you will be armed they knock and hide behind the walls.

oh and there will be more on the otherside of your house ready to come in and show you how guns work

Your post used to be correct. Things have gotten crazier over encryption, though.

>if they even remotely think you will be armed they knock and hide behind the walls.
Not possible at my house.

Raids and searches are two different things, we're discussing the latter.

>The 5th amendment prohibits citizens from being forced to say self-incriminating things; this is where 'You have the right to remain silent' and 'Pleading the fifth' comes from. This extends to knowledge like passwords
It used to but supreme court recently said that encryption keys were equivalent to lock keys, not combinations to safes. Yes, this is bullshit. But it happened.

>It doesn't, however, apply to biometrics
Such bullshit, the 5th amendment is clear.

>hella drugs
>throwing away the joint

calm the fuck down there sonny you don't want to die of paranoical aids or imaginary OD now do you

>your honor, we have gathered sufficient evidence to justify a search warrant.
>for what?
>we have strong reason to believe little jimmy has been smoking marijuana cigarettes after school.

Say what you want, it's true. Let's say you're one of those dumb fucks who uses a fingerprint reader on his phone and a cop wants to search it. You can refuse to unlock it, then the cop can take your hand and press your thumb to it

I'd pull out my pistol, and end it all
Nothing that illegal, just pirated shit and furry porn but my will to live is so low, probably will kms before Christmas

Zach?

I know "it's true", but that doesn't make it less illegal. The 5th amendment is clear, I cannot be compelled to be a witness against myself.

As a side note I have a friend who does this with her boyfriend's phone while he's asleep; number one reason I will never use biometrics for anything important.

I think the loophole is that police have legal rights to your fingerprints when you're arrested. Just try and refuse getting printed and see how that goes, same here.

don't

just go on you fucking faggot good things happen

They can try to justify it any way they want, it's still illegal.

And if they don't?

>Sorry, but I forgot the password. I've been struggling to decrypt my files myself for a while now.

And they'll still get away with it. It doesn't matter wrong you think it is or how wrong it actually is, it's how wrong the system deems it to be, and the system deems it okay.

It 100% matters what I think. People need to care, it's beyond the point where shots should have been fired, now.

Since when does 100% = 0%? It's you vs them, and they decide who wins.

Have YOU tried contacting him? Ask him wtf is taking so long? Cuck.

Was this actually the supreme court, or a lower court? Because I have not heard anything of an actual supreme court decision on this matter.

I keep a canister of thermite on top of my case over my hard drive bay.

Cops at the door? Light the thermite. There is also a milk jug of sand next to the case to dump on the thermite after it hits my drives.

Can't be charged with destroying evidence if they haven't read the warrant yet.

>see who's at the door
>party van
>take a few seconds to power down everything because full disk encryption
>open door with milk and cookies
>???
>the milk is laced with cyanide

>where's your warrant?
>oh you don't have one?
>Well I do not consent to search or seizure

im fine

>They'd like a search and inspection of your computer/s and its/their contents, they have a search warrant.
>they have a search warrant

Bitch made attitude, people like you caused this mess.

They will never find anything

and was then promptly overturned by the appeals court.
Never mind the supreme court, they would just laugh their asses off.

>I pay for my adobe

absolute madman.

Lawyer here, you're wrong. Telling the password would only be incriminating if you had illegal stuff, therefore forcing you to hand it over isn't inherently incriminating and isn't against the 5th and has never been.

would it be legal to wire my house with forced entry sensors that would unmount my FS and power cycle my machine?

>internet lawyer here, I'm wrong