"Sir you have been selected for a random search, please open your bags and present your electronic devices to us."

"Sir you have been selected for a random search, please open your bags and present your electronic devices to us."

What do you do?

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_aircraft_hijackings#2010s
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2007_Glasgow_Airport_attack
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2006_Madrid–Barajas_Airport_bombing
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_Brussels_bombings
youtube.com/watch?v=QKEdKdgi2hg
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Demand a specific search warrant

My shit is encrypted so they can do whatever they want.

"Sir please cooperate, or we will be forced to call security."

>phone
>Laptop
>Vibrating dildo
>Electronic picture frame with a slideshow of VIN diesel
They'd stop searching by the time they find the dildo

>hand over prepaid cell phone and netbook

I'm not going to bring important shit with me on a plane.

"Sir, this is a christian airport! Please remove all heathen-like objects ans proceed."

>search warrant
You're using their service. You have no rights.

So the dildo or Vin deisel has to go?

I mean both are just...

Guess i would have to hand in the dank memes

"Fuck you and your constitutional rape!"
>starts running through and jumps barriers

"GET DOWN ON THE GROUND, FUCKO"

>continue running in an erratic fashion to avoid getting murdered
>jump barrier, get on plane
>close door
>lock door
>yell at pilots to go

"Oh you dumb, silly boy. You really thought you could outrun the long grasps of the law?"

piss myself so he goes away.
With any luck, I wont accidentally dose myself with the LSD I had hidden in my panties.

>going full Jason Bourne

I have phallic tools and I'm not afraid to use them

Just set the firearm down, let us fly to our destination, and nobody gets semen on their clothes.

Can we do this?

>panties
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

*teleports behind you*
*shoots you in half*
Psssssh, nudding pissoneelll, passenger

My pact with Satan only allows me to grow stronger

Now that I'm shit in half there's 2 of me

Double the trouble now big copper man

>open door slightly
>toss a flashbang out
>chasers are stunned

nope :)

>"Sure."

I've already checked-in my baggage with my external HDD.

they would not find shit, or well, not in my bags, i always store all of my electronic devices in my rectum.

*its a hologram*

Show him my Gayming laptop with Windows 10, Chrome and full botnet enabled.

Nothing to hide because botnet knows everything already.

I've gone through this a couple times on non-international flights.

TSA can go fuck themselves. I never consent to search, and simply respond with "Am I being detained or am I free to leave.".

I worked for a fortune 100 company, and we were told by legal to consent to nothing, but comply with all legal orders in writing.

Once I'm through the TSA screening at the terminal, security can go fuck itself.

What a disgusting ass cuban, bet that's Miami international.

HAHAHAH, I don't even have toothpaste

Bags?

>they find my porn folder

>they go through my taimanin asagi hmvs

what would their reaction be?

Tell him he too has been selected for a random telling off.

>Throw him a Rubik's cube with SD card inside it.
>You ever played with one of these?
>Ooga booga
>You too, buddy :^)

but im white lol

Get your spic ass outta here Jose.

"He just boarded the plane."

So what am I required to do if this happens to me in an American airport? Just show that the laptop turns on?

CNN airs live footage about the hacker 4 chan running away from police.

The Bourne Shitpostency!

>Who is this "Sup Forums"? [wiggle]

"please i'm late for my flight, plea...ALLAHU AKBARRRRRRR"

Whip out my robot cock

If i'm getting off? Say no. Unless they have a warrant, they can't do shit.
These fucking things are so annoying, being attractive does have its downsides.

If I'm not doing anything wrong I couldn't care less and will let them. If I am then I'll refuse and argue about it with them.

Why is everyone on this board so paranoid about people looking at their computers? Are you all pedophiles or something?

>What do you do?
Present electronic devices.

Go ahead, If there is anything of question on my devices I will just wipe them before going to a country where they can be illegal there, but fine in my home country.

It's encrypted with Caesar cipher anyway.

What do the even look for?

Do they just open the picture folder and check if there is no CP or some shit?

hand them the 250 microSD cards I brought with me

They check to see if it turns on and functions.

What happens if it does not turn on?

They open it up to check for explosives.

I shudder when I think of all the creepy fetishistic porn the security guards would have to look through if they detained a regular channer.

...

Laptops are ideal for hiding explosives, because battery and casing and everything often shields them from x-rays. This is why you as a minimum have to take the laptop out of your carry on bag.

more like

"STOP RESISTING"

What sort of information do you write in your notebook?

what's wrong with american security?
here in europe we're much more at risk for terrorist attacks than the us.

>here in europe we're much more at risk for terrorist attacks than the us.
And why do you think that is, user?

>what's wrong with american security?
It's obviously working.

>And why do you think that is, user?
niggers can literally walk over to us, that's why.

>It's obviously working.
super inefficiently, it could be much smoother. here the security check takes a minute, no random pullout, no random hands-up-your-ass. heck i don't even have to show my id to get on the plane, just the ticket on my phone.

if we're so much more at risk than you guys, then why don't we have such an inefficient security system at our airports?

>here the security check takes a minute, no random pullout, no random hands-up-your-ass
Actually I am European and
1) that's not true, I get randomly expected all the time
2) the US actually stops far more terrorists because our cuck governments are too concerned with not allowing stuff like racial profiling than actually stopping terrorists

>not keeping all your documents suspended in the attic

>not in an underground bunker inside a faraday cage

>1) that's not true, I get randomly expected all the time
in what country?

>2) the US actually stops far more terrorists because our cuck governments
so the us stops more terrorists on planes than in europe, oh i wonder, when was the last planehijack here hmm... oh right, there wasn't any, your argument doesn't hold.

>moisture and dust

>inside a faraday cage
How would you release the rare earth magnet that falls down and wipes your disk remotely?

what?

>trips
>magnet
nah, acid and fire my friendo

>in what country?
Norway

>when was the last planehijack here
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_aircraft_hijackings#2010s

>"This guy has shit tastes, arrest him!"

so 7 ATTEMPTED hijackings by people without weapons, by people without explosives.
2 by the actual pilots.
1 was even by people using food cans.
let's think about that, in the past 6years, only 7 were attempted and all of them failed without any casualties.

And only 4 of them were planes from European airports
Only 2 of them were inbetween EU airports, let that sink in.

No successful attempts. No causalities. And again as i said, europe is at much higher risk of these attempts than the us.
but still of all the 10s of 1000s of planes that fly each year only 2 attempts were inbetween EU airports in the last 6years.

That is good enough.

>as i said, europe is at much higher risk of these attempts than the us.
And AGAIN

THIS SHOULD BE PROOF THAT US SECURITY ACTUALLY WORKS, IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE A TURD FOR A BRAIN

You're forgetting the Airport bombs, mang.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2007_Glasgow_Airport_attack
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2006_Madrid–Barajas_Airport_bombing
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_Brussels_bombings

calm down ragefag, having a system that's so inefficient cost alot of money and we need that money for other things, so calm down, put a dick in your ass and enjoy your smooth flight to saltistand

>it works
>"bawwwwww but I'm so inconvenienced !!!!!!!!"

Cry more faggot.

>we need that money
Get your own money, Yuropoor. Not the US' problem that you can't finance proper security measures.

...

Present my phone without the passcode and my laptop without the battery or the charger.

"Sorry, I don't keep my laptop battery or charger in the same bag, it's a risk to thieves." And they can't force me to undo my passcode.

yeah but then you bragged about it on the chahn so youre on The List.

Better luck next life.

Sir, for security reasons we need to verify that the laptop can turn on. If you can't do that then I'm afraid you won't be able to fly with it today. Just to be clear, can you turn it on for us now or not?

You do need to consider deterrence. Would-be attackers who haven't even tried because they know the would probably be caught at security.

I pull out my pocket constitution and remind them that they're violating the 4th amendment and they're the enemies of the united states.

youtube.com/watch?v=QKEdKdgi2hg

what purpose

constitution does not apply since the screening process is known in advance and no one is forcing you to use those services or visit those places that require screening,

Earthquakes.

Then they seize all your electronics and walk you back over the border in cuffs, you don't get the electronics back

And no your government won't do shit

Thanks for proving my point senpai

>What do you do?

Present devices. Nothing on them of interest to NSA exists, and NSA monitors everything so only retarded children put info on computers they prefer to conceal in the first place.

There are many ways to conceal solid state storage in an electronic device which will pass x-ray, for example placing a microSD card in a properly aligned position with other components and securing with a dab of clear RTV. Assemble laptop with a new screw kit (see Ebay) and screw covers so it looks mint.

I hand them my phone and my laptop.

"Good luck with that."

Fuck, I'd have fun watching them fail.

>Present devices. Nothing on them of interest to NSA exists, and NSA monitors everything so only retarded children put info on computers they prefer to conceal in the first place.

Only a complete fucking moron would troll this hard. Only the worst basement dweller imaginable could possibly think up this kind of retarded drivel.

You see why this sucks?

Subtlety. You're coming on too strong, dude.

Politely remove my Christmas sweater, show them my phone and laptop (all while being extremely compliant. The TSA people don't exactly have an ideal job... Why would I make it more difficult for them?). After they thoroughly finish molesting me after the pat-down, I thank them for their service and head on my merry way to gate D-16, an outward flight to Denver. All while listening to the Cars.
While on the flight, I ruminate on the state of Denver as a city as time has progressed...


"You know, Denver isn't really as bad as it was ten years ago, I've found. It's almost as if the people there have started to realize that a rising tide lifts all ships, and that slowly but surely, through an increase in infrastructure spending, the city's reputation has started to increase. Maybe not to its former self, but something that's respectably close to it."

It might be but I doubt it. I go to Miami international whenever I travel and doesn't look familiar.

Is it true that American airport security will search your MP3 player and make you prove you own every single song in it or make you pay?

*unzips dick*
You can search this electrifying device

>I can't find Windows or Mac installed on this computer
>Sir please sign in to your account
>I'm going to have to keep this suspicious device for further inspection

Horribly ineffectively. Whereas the more lax checks in europe work basically just as well.

>they ask me to turn on laptop to check for bombs
>mfw Gentoo with no display manager or desktop environment

But it was art back in the 15th century!

Wow started watching more from the series and it is pretty cool, thanks user.