Rage thread

Rage thread.

Other urls found in this thread:

rbt.asia/g/thread/S56466635
huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/10/crazy-ants-invasive-species-destroys-electric-wiring_n_3415153.html
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

lmftfy things that never happened*

test

Things can not happen and still induce rage


(My gf)

you don't even need to post the full picture, OP
just looking at the thumbnail I know what it is

only le oldfags will get it amirite xDDD

average person upon asking or pushing them will most likely do the exact same, you just didn't try with them yet.

I have 1001 rage stories for "tech people" at previous jobs when I was in the IT industry if you want me to share. not just random people, but someone who was at a company or supposed to actually know shit about networking, pcs etc.

Plz share. There is no OC here

>grandpa calls up, computer is fucked
>he drops it off
>10,000 toolbars
>reformat
>install Arch Linux
>compile everything from source
>get superior rolling release minimal system
>force all daemons and proessces, x windows, etc required to be manually started (like they SHOULD BE)
>return laptop
>he calls up
>WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT WHAT DID U DO TO MY COMPUTER FUK U KID
Fucking old people, just die already.

>be me
>like 3 or 4 years ago
>get a text from my aunt
>"user, I know you're good with computers lol"
>"I was wondering if you could help me pick one out"
>sure
>ask what she's gonna use it for
>"Well mostly for work and (cousin) might play some games"
>I ask her what games he plays
>"Does it matter lol"
>Yes it kinda does
>"it doesn't matter lol"
>yes she practically used lol as a period it seems
>"can you make sure it's a dell" (she supposedly had a discount shit from it who cares)
>being a faggot I assume he plays fairly modern games as he has talked about getting a gaming pc
>tell her it's best if she builds her own
>Lol that's too hard lol"
>My other cousin is fairly tech literate, tell her he could do it
>"I don't want to waste money if it breaks
>fine whatever
>look on amazon / ebay / newegg
>find a decent prebuilt
>gtx 750 i7 8 gigs of ram
>900 bucks
[cont]

>wake up
>realize that new GPUs and CPUs were probably released while I was asleep
>check benchmark sites and make 20 threads about the latest GPU and CPU on Sup Forumsee
>fall asleep
>GOTO 1

>Installing Arch Linux for your grandpa
This is quite anger inducing

If you read the ArchWiki, arch is as easy as Ubuntu

>install Arch Linux
>for grandpa

are you retarded

spoiler: the laptop breaks

>any linux distro
>for grandpa

just stop my dude

Are you guys serious or are you bait replying to the baitpasta? I can't tell.

I think you have too much faith in old people's Sup Forums knowledge.

Well you shouldn’t’ve installed some completely new OS on somebody’s computer, especially if it’s an old, non-computer-savvy person.

>"um that's too expensive."
>tell her again that it could be cheaper if she built it herself
>send her cheaper and cheaper builds until it basically boils down to a $200 prebuilt dell with a keyboard (no mouse, it was weird)
>fucking i3 with 2 gigs of ram and 250gb 5200rpm hard disk
>"that'll work lol"
>tell her that it probably isn't the best price / performance
>remind her about (cousin)'s games
>"will he be able to play those"
>tell her she might have to upgrade the graphics card
>ask her again what games she plays
>"oh just some 'flesh' games lol"
>nani?.jpg
>flesh games
>you mean flash games?
>"I guess lol"
>nigger I am appalled
> wasted 5 hours trying to cherry pick their perfect computer
[cont]

>Have friend who claims he is good with computers
>Go around his house
>He uses Windows 95 theme
>pokerface.jpg
>He wants to show me some animus (lol weeaboo)
>He opens some pre-historic media player which looks like it is from windows 95
>I ask him, why doesn't he use VLC?
>he said it's is shit
>I say lol no! it's the best durr al the people on Mininova recommend it.
>He puts on Something Experiments Rain or something , said I would like it.
>Some little girl jumps of a roof
>I call him a pedo weeaboo and tell him its shit and he doesn't know shit about technology
>THEN HE called 'ME' an idiot
>Mfw i have no face

Posted the best story with this person before, you guys know him as hippie, I'll go find archive link for that story so you can rage at that too.

>Hippie is attempting to configure voip phone system for client remotely
>overhear on the phone for 2 days straight, mostly like this. "Okay just let me know, about to make the change." Then 5 minutes later another call and they're angry, "Okay I'll set it back"
>get more and more curious as to what he is doing
>Hippie is literally just clicking random shit in their firewall expecting this will work. He has no way to test besides just waiting for them to call back angry and it's worse each time.
>asks me to look at it to "see how impossible this all is"
>they have high end business class equipment
>"EVERY single time I've ever done a phone system I just plugged it in and it worked"
>this is a business router and probably either has upnp disabled or it doesn't have it at all
>"We need to make this thing called a pinhole, I've READ about this sort of thing before, but it's SUPER COMPLICATED"
>well hippie this router calls it port forwarding. You will need to get the ports required to be open and point it towards the internal IP of the PBX system
>"WOAH WOAH WOAH dude that sounds SUPER COMPLICATED that isn't going to work."
>lel. So what have you been doing for the past 2 days hippie?

>Brother asks me to choose him his first tablet.
>I search for hours the best one at a good price.
>He goes to the shop.
>Returns with a shitty overpriced chinese tablet (with Android 2.3).
>Even more expensive than the one I choosed.

>doesn't secure BIOS with a password
LOL

That feel when you wrote this in 30 seconds over 5 years ago and it's still around

it's been a wild ride Sup Forumsents

this is about the right time to kill yourself

I'm the mastermind behind the Solus meme (not Kevin).
Will that still be here in 5 years?

>Something Experiments Rain
You mean "Serial Experiments Lain"?

>tell her to order the PC
>she does, gets it a week later
>"user, THIS COMPUTER SUCKS WHY DID YOU PICK THIS OUT FOR ME"
>I gave you about 30 other options lady
>"BUT THIS IS TOO SLOW"
>tell her she could upgrade the ram for like 40 bucks, she's done it before with help with smart cousin
>"YOU ORDERED ME A BROKEN COMPUTER"
>"YOU FIX IT"
>I live 12 hours away
>fuck me nigger
>go on vacation a month later,
>visit he
>pc is sitting by her desk not plugged in
>first thing she says to me is:
>"Hello user, are you here to fix my PC"
>I guess
>ready to bolt on this bitch right there
>fuck it
>open the side panel
>already a good layer of dust on everything
>was expecting to fix this shit, so came prepared
[cont]

What if they remove the CMOS battery?

How do old people manage to get their computers so dirty, and manage to break them so much?

My parent's do nothing but play Runescape and facebook games all day, with my mum doing homework for her uni sometimes. Since they need to run RS at 60fps or something they decided to buy overpriced Alienware 17s. This was after my tech literate brother and I both told them about how they could get better price/performance with custom machines.

And goddamn they torture those things. Just looked, there is enough ash on the screen to block parts of whatever they are looking at. Along with some fun "stains" on the keyboard. Also just fingered the keyboard, of course it is greasy. I get triggered if I don't clean off my computer after eating one greasy food item while looking at it. How can people live in this filth?

They have also broken it several times from spilling coffee and dropping it. Luckily they bought the thousand dollar extended warranty though.

How do I teach people to respect their machines?

>dust
triggers me. Breaks my heart when people don't clean their PC.

>"Oh I've been in their firewall rules, I KNOW how that stuff works. See look right here I set it to EXPLICITLY ALLOW incoming phone traffic, so it SHOULD be working"
>ignores giant implicit "Allow all" below it
>calls phone company, calls router company, overhear them both say at one point "Oh this isn't a big deal, we fix this every day for new subscribers. All you need to do is open a port. In our router it is called port forwarding" and phone company even says "your router might say pinholes or it might say port forwarding either way it's the same thing"
>Hyper ultra mega interstellar stinge for 5-8 hours
>"Look dude I GUARANTEE you this SUPER COMPLICATED "ports forwarding" thing WILL NOT WORK so just do it already"
>He watches me as I type it all in, don't remember exact port, it was nonstandard, but in the 50xx range. Then the magic happens, I type in the internal IP of the PBX system. 192.168.1.100 let's say
>"WHY are you typing in an INTERNAL IP ADDRESS?!?!?!"
>That is how port forwarding works, it's basically transpare-
>"There is NO WAY that anyone outside their network will be able to "talk to" that address!!!!!!!"
>The phone company sends traffic to their external IP on this port. Then the router will pass it off to the internal server. They don't know it's 192.168.1.anything
>"This is SUPER COMPLICATED there is no way this will work the phone company WILL NOT BE ABLE TO "TALK TO" THAT INTERNAL ADDRESS THAT IS THE POINT OF A ROUTER"
>What is their phone number?
>He disgustingly gives it to me and I dial. It rings. Same guy he's been apologizing to for the past 2 days enthusiastically picks up. "Hey Hippie so glad you were able to get it to work! Now we can stop paying our bill for our old analog phone system."
>th-thanks
>Ultra mega interstellar super duper hyper catastrophic stinge for a whole week

>GOTO 10
ftfy

A simple dust filter can make magic.

similar thing happened with elementary os a couple of years ago and it's still around

>clicking random shit on firewall
Usually works desu. At least, it makes it look like you're trying

I would doubt they know how to do that desu

the old tanks they are used to could take a pretty good beating before being repaired it sems

>pull out canned air
>dust that shit out
>mylungs.wav
>plug in shit
>it boots kinda slow
>whatever shitty drive
>windows vista
>in the then current year 2013
>whatever
>toolbars on desktop
>ask search bar, deals, the whole nine yards right on the taskbar
>how
>Ask how long she actually used it
>"just enough to try out my programs"
>quickbooks word the like
>back up her pictures, important shit like that
>brought a few flash drives with a few OSs at the ready
>install XP
>sofreshandsoclean.zip
>be a good boy and install word and her 'essential programs'
>work flawlessly
>install chrome with adblock and strict filter everything
>make her account non admin
>again, being so well prepared I added another 2 gigs of ram into pc
>pc is pretty fucking fast now
[cont]

>08/14/12
>oldfag
kill yourself

I'm Should clarify that the ash I talk about is from their chain smoking. They just assume their keyboard is an ashtray or something

>>year I joined + 1
>>oldfag
>kill yourself
Basically what you said famalam

Harry Potter tier shit.

If true, it will feel very good to ignore the shit out of these people one day when they are in need.

Nobody can claim oldfag status who has joined this decade. They will forever be newfags, for they never experienced the old Sup Forums.

kek, makes me laugh when people pretend to know what they are talking about. Just have to nicely ignore them and tell them to fuck off if they persist

>>install XP
>2013
Was she too cheaap to buy a modern OS?

That's so true. I used to find all kind of weird shit under the keys (dry coffee, ashes, hair, food, insects...)

I browse this site since 2007. What kind of fag I am? Good old times without censorship, pedo conversations and lots of little girls.

Best hippie story is here if you want to read
rbt.asia/g/thread/S56466635

>2007
You make the cut.

Part of the meme is that you are an oldfag always and forever. You say you are a veteran, but someone who claims to have joined in $year_you_joined -1 will call you new. moot is the only oldfag in existence.

>Mom calls me
>"COMPUTA NO WORK, NO WORK, IS BROKE"
>I run 400 miles to her house
>Ram my cock through the letterbox
>"PENIS! EXTEND!"
>Cock stretches through letterbox
>Wraps family up
>Continues to computer
>Start hacking pentagon with penis
>Mother looks so proud
>Finsih hacking pentagon
>Frape Obama
>Fighter jets storm location
>I jump and rip pilots heart out
>Return to ground
>Moms PC has viruses from years of shlicking to vegetable porn
>Begin to leave
>Spaghetti falls out my pockets
>Open the door
>Get on the floor
>Walk the dinosaur
>Alpha as fuck

This thread legitimately has potential please oh please don't shit it up with one of the absolute worst things you can do on this site, the longer the thread goes on there will be no "acceptable" year to have joined the site. It is so bad to do this and we have nowhere to go but down.

>insects
>in a keyboard
wut

1 PRINT "NO YOU CAN USE 1"
2 GOTO 1

The first time I said oldfag it should say newfag

Bugs love to get inside electronics.

No she was just used to it and it was all I had on hand. I probably should have installed Windows 7 in hindsight, but whatever.

>here you go
>"wow thank you user"
>"you didn't install all the stuff I need though"
>okay?
>She goes to some sketchy ass site to download god knows what
>"user, What did you do!"
>"I can't get my programs!"
>That's probably a virus
>"NO IT ISN'T, I'VE USED IT FOR blah blah blah"
>fuck it, let her install it.
>disable filter for one site
>she goes through the install process
>PC Slows to a crawl
>herewego.gif
>"YOU BROKE MY COMPUTER"
>open task manager
>kill process
>shit speeds up
>She sees virus isn't open anymore
>opens it up again
[cont]

>Have le friend who claims he is good with computers
>Go around his house
>He browses Sup Forums
>le pokerface.jpg
>I ask him, why doesn't he use reddit?
>he said it's is shit
>I say lol no! it's the best durr all the people on the internet recommend it, its the base of good discussion without shitposting.
>He wants to show me that Sup Forums is better than reddit (lol Sup Forumstard)
>He goes to the Technology board
>tech support general, GNU and metathread everywhere
>I call him a stupid faggot and tell him its shit and he doesn't know shit about technology
>THEN HE called 'ME' an idiot
>Mfw le rageface

>I only know BASIC through memes: the post

It's rare but I've seen this before where people literally fall in love with the graphic design of ransomware and trust it over you even after they bring it to you.

>Yes you can work on it just make sure you keep my Firefox Pro Subscription
>There is no such thing
>Just make sure you don't take that off!!!!!!!

>Friend bitches that his computer is slow as shit
>Go to his house to see what he is working with
>Windows XP 1 gig of ram, 30 GB hard drive
>Offer to build him a nice computer for only 100 bucks
>Tell him that I'm going to use spare parts that I don't need
>Tells me no and that he will just go buy a new one
>Next day I find out he spent 600 bucks on a new computer
>Go to his house and check the specs of his new computer
>Windows Vista 32 bit, 2 gigs of ram, 100 gig HD, onboard video card
>Tells me that his computer is one of the best computers out there
>MFW

Holy fugg
A-am I safe? Do I need to spray my electronics with bug spray every year? I'm paranoid there is a bees nest in my laptop now

You are 100% correct sir

huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/10/crazy-ants-invasive-species-destroys-electric-wiring_n_3415153.html
No one is safe

that was really cool, your post JUST popped up as I was looking at his, pretty rad dude!!!

I'm definitely going to wash my keboard more frequently now. Also, probably never eat with my computer again.

What year?

go on faggot

2012

>rbt.asia/g/thread/S56466635
ctrl-fd
They sound nice.

>Started working as IT on the government a week ago.

I have seen some shit guys.

no he means Something Experiments Rain, very good comedy show.

working on it dude

forgot to mention, I typed in the admin password to let her install her shit

>shit slows down again
>she literally cant put 2 and 2 together.
>repeat three or four times
>fuckingkillme.part
>fuck it. ask her what it even is
>some wallpaper program
>"But I really like the wallpapers user"
>current year of 2013
>she's still falling for shit like this
>doesn't even set the background, it just downloads it to your downloads folder
>i'm a little miffed
>show her how to get wallpapers from google
>google 'dogs'
>right click the dog
>select make desktop background
>is that too hard?
>"but this program has different dogs"
>youdensemotherfucker.png
>say fuck it.
>download a dog
>reverse image search
>literally every picture is an exact pixel for pixel copy of that same image
>less rare than dirt
>set it as her background
>she's happy
[cont]

Tell us more, user. Country? Greentext?

Oh boy...

Who /SHENANIGANS/?
>be who the fuck do you think
>find a clippy programs
>every x seconds, clippy appears with a generic message
>"It looks like you moved your mouse", "It looks like you're using a computer", etc
>download it
>put it on my father's windows xp machine
>add it to startup
Every 60 seconds it just popped up with a random clippy message for six months. He never mentioned it until my CS major brother came to visit, who then removed it. Probably assumed I wasn't smart enough to help him or something.

The wallpaper part hits home. People have to download something for EVERY single possible function, when there is a website to do it guaranteed to work better and not be malware.

>trolling your own family
>superior sibling helps his parents who selflessly raised him

You're a faggot

Not a huge neusance though. It literally pops up for ten seconds, and turns off if you put your mouse in the corner of the screen.

It's not rocket science figuring out you were the one putting it on the PC, and people don't usually ask the same person who fucked up their computer to fix it.

>uninstall virus for her
>thank god she let me
>i have to piss because I drank a redbull while working on her shit
>peeing
>front door opens
>it's cousin
>he gives aunt a hug and kiss and asks her what she's doing
>"user just fixed our computer hon!"
>cousin immediately asks to play some games
>hear all this through the door
>curious about what games he actually plays
>this little bab goes to some shady as fuck website
>nervous.webm
>aunt left to do some shit
>playing duck life and that baby raft game
>no ads thank fuck
>little bab cousin hovers to the 'adult' section of the site
>boidontdoit.jpg
>clicks on it
>boihedidit.jpg
>ad breaks through blocked list
>fuck me dude
>gaping pussy on the screen
>flashing letters sayin 'YOU HAVE A VIRUS'
>bab initiates panic mode
>calls for mom
>wait what?
>mom comes over sees the screen
>bab looks me dead in the eyes
>' he showed me how to do this'
[cont]

Tell me this is not real, please.

and it almost certainly comes bundled with malware/keylogger/botnet etc.
You are an idiot

it's on the Internet so it must be real :^)

yes it's real. wish it wasn't though

believe what you want to believe I guess

>aunt looks at me
>if she had a gun she would've shot me
>deerinheadlights.tar.gz
>"YOU SHOWED HIM"
>DENIE DENIE DENIE DENIE DENIE
>she doesn't believe me
>go figure
>tell her I'm here to fix her computer not break it again
>"YOU JUST DO THIS SO YOU CAN TAKE MY MONEY WON'T YOU"
>nigger what?
>I never asked for any money
>"YOU WERE GOING TO THOUGH, WERENT YOU!"
>of course not, you're shit was supposedly broken, I was in town, I thought I could be neighborly and fix your shit
>"YOU LITTLE SHIT"
>oh fuck
>this bitch never says stuff like this
>infront of her 9 year old no less
[cont]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Whoops, this was meant for

are you black by any means?

That is when you walk right out and stop helping.

Wew, even my mom was using a more advanced system then.

Good morning!
•Audience claps•
Thank you for being with us.
•Audience claps•
We have some powerful new devices to show you.
•Audience claps•
You know, iPhone/Mac is the most powerful/popular device in the world.
•Audience claps•
This year we sold more iPhones/Macs than ever before.
•Audience claps•
And now, I'm pleased to introduce the new [Mac/iPhone].
•Audience claps•
The [Mac/iPhone {number}] is our best, and most powerful [Mac/iPhone], ever.
•Audience claps•
Now, I'd like to introduce my friend Phil Schiller to tell you more.
•Audience claps•
Thank you, Tim. The [Mac/iPhone {number}] is truly amazing, and will impact your life in truly amazing ways.
•Audience claps•
You could always [perform a task] but now with [new name for the feature that already exists in other phones/computers] it will be even easier to [perform a task].
•Audience claps•
Now I'm going to hand it back to Tim.
•Audience claps•
Amazing. The [Mac/iPhone {number}] will be available for [more than it's worth] [a week from Sunday].
•Audience claps•
Now join me in welcoming [mediocre band].
•Audience claps•

>worked at tech support at a small company
>one day the boss came to my office and told me that they needed my help
>a few people were standing at a macbook in the conference room
>they were looking at some mails in the default email program of OSX
>"user we have a small problem here. We are looking for an email but it's gone"
>there were hundreds of emails in that folder
>the only problem was that for some reason mac OS does not display a scrollbar by default so they did not know that they had to scroll down
>the only way to scroll down is by using a two finger gesture that they did not know (they never used a tocuhpad or apple computer before)
>showed them how to do it
>the other tech support guy told me that even he did not know that because he too does not use macs

So yeah, Mac OS is not user friendly.

It looks nicer (and is easier to read for some reason) with meme arrows user.

I think it's more about the fact that they are idiots than the OS. My family has to use the scroll bar instead of mouse wheel EVERY TIME on their NSA/Wangblows machine. If it dissapeared they would freak out.

no, that's just the way my family is / the way I write

I should have. But I was kinda worried desu

>she demands I fix this garbage, block the sites and give her a refund
>first 2 where reasonable
>a refund for what?
>"MY COMPUTER THAT YOU BROKE"
>I dindu nuffin though
>I was here to fix shit.
>"DO IT NOW"
>I've fixed your shit for how long and now you're calling me a fucking con artist
>tell her to eat shit and take responsibility of her child
>bargain with her
>tell her I will block the sites, and fix her viruses but I will in no circumstance pay her 200 bucks to fix her computer
>"YOU EITHER PAY ME RIGHT NOW, OR YOU'LL BE MY PERSONAL IT FOREVER"
>fucking drama queen jeez
>I'll take you up on your offer
>fix her shit
>dip
>head to the beach and chill for a couple hours
>head back home

She basically texted me for about two years afterwards calling me 'IT' and said she was gonna 'report me' for not fixing her computer.

report you for what exactly, and to who, why not just tell her to suck a big one and fuck off

Why didn't you set up a blacklist?
This is beyond believable. If you're not lying though, you're going straight to heavens.

kek

An older person who does not regularly use a touchpad isn't expected to know about touch gestures.

This is why I install Linux for mouth breathers. Windows is only for people who understand the concept of causality.

Should of set up a RAT on their computer. Then, after about six months, make their computer redirect to meatspin every time.