Hey guys, ex-muslim over here

Hey guys, ex-muslim over here.
I just wanted to ask tomorrow I'm gonna sneak out and buy some alcohol to try it out and see why everyone I know is so obsessed with it
What should I but that'll allow me to be sober quickly?

Because if I get caught I'm literally dead t b h my famalamamama.

It has to be cheap as well since I just started working and haven't received my paycheck yet (18 year old budget).

Pls help.

Islam will make aussie less shitposting again!

>get caught

Go to a BAR, nigga, and pay for some sugary girly drink in cold hard cash

Finish your drink, walk around in circles outside until you sober up enough to go home, shouldn't take more than an hour or two

Alcohol is for degenerates. Go have some bacon at a diner instead.

Go to a pub, m8.

Get what's on tap, they're usually the less expensive drinks.

you dont go out much, do you?

6er of VB m8

Of course not, reddit.

4 pack of beer cans dude

have fun gl don't get dead

>everything I hate is reddit.

Trust the septic to get triggered.

it's just a substance but some people literally can't drink it t. ex alco

Acting like a militant normalfag on 4channel is literal reddit chic.

Attention whore

>Not handling the bantz
>Reddit.
>FUCKING NORMIES REEEEEEE

t.butt mad autistic septic.

Go to a bar and get something

>equating 'normalfag' to 'normie'

Okay, I was just joking before, but you're definitely a reddit user.

No you just sound really autistic

Buy a six pack of any beer and drink it slowly over a period of a few hours. You'll have a hangover but hopefully you won't get caught, if anyone asks just say you have a headache.

>EVERYONE WHO ISN'T LIKE ME IS REDDIT
>YOU MUST LURK ON THERE

Never been on it, septic. How would you know what people are like on that site?

Unless, of course, you have visited it.

you're being a faggot

degeneracy was a meme. i'll bet you own a crusader sword and a fedora

I'm not sure where to go desu. Does any uni have a bar where they sell alcohol during the day time?

I'm not sure I'm comfortable to do that yet desu.

What's the difference between beer and alcohol?

Just go to a bowling ally

beer has alcohol in it

Yup.

UNSW

Do they have 40's in Australia. I can drink a 24 pack of beer and still not be drunk. Check it

I wanna get a little drunk desu. There's no point in me doing all of this otherwise.

alcohol means anything with alcohol in it, beer is a low alcohol content drink and usually comes in a set of 4/6 cans

avoid larger bottles, and check the 'standard drinks' measure that's how many hours it lasts in the system, you want a couple things that are 1-2 standard drinks but 2's can be a lot if you've never done it

Will it stink and stay on my breath?

But Righty-oh, thanks a lot guys. I appreciate it :)

Chew some gum

Then head straight for the liquor. Vodka is probably the most plain and boring spirit and it's cheap. Start off with about 5 shots then see how you're doing. Continue until you're feeling sloppy.

Just don't drink too fast, otherwise it will hit you all at once and you won't be able to realise what's hit you. If you drink slower you can still get drunk but at least you'll KNOW you are drunk, if that makes sense.

Chew gum or brush afterwards. Avoid rum at all costs, it has a very strong distinct smell on the breath even if you don't drink much of it.

That's fucking foul and nasty. He should drink mixed drinks then. At least the smell won't be on his breath

absinthe
go all-in faggot

>ex-muslim here
Stop reading here... To congratulate you. Good job my man!

Avoid rum. You'll stink and probably end up getting violent. Don't want you blowing up on some poor sod.

Vodka is a good spirit to start with and doesn't leave you smelling like a dark spirit would.

Beer is a matter of preference. You just need to try a few different ones to figure out which one you like. Ale is another alternative to beer, and for me personally, I love a Kilkenny.

Uni bars are usually pretty cheap and offer a decent range. Opening hours differ between unis, but some will open around lunchtime and continue until late evening.

I'm sorry.
My apologizes if I automatically assumed you were a guy. Get some triple sec as well and make yourself some cosmos girlfriend

>ex-muslim
you will meet your fate soon inshallah

Mashallah

What the fuck is "septic" supposed to mean? Are you making up slang? Are you trying to start a meme or act cool? Go kill yourself.

Is bowling popular in Australia?

As a non-drinker I can say that hard lemonade is completely drinkable. Pretty tasty. I like the burn.

Just make some yourself if you can't find any. Vodka + lemonade.


Beer tastes like horse piss. Avoid if you want to actually enjoy your drink.

I bet they have hard cider in Australia

Another name for American's is "Seppo" which is slang for septic tank, and just like septic tanks, you're full of shit!

>What should I but that'll allow me to be sober quickly?

That's not how alcohol works.

How are you dead if you are 18 and old enough to drink?

vodka isn't a bad call actually. Doesn't smell too much on your breath. 5 shots might be overkill though if drunk too quickly. Do two, give it 15 minutes, take another, and so on. Your body can process one shot of vodka per hour (in terms of soberness.)

Also literally fuck your parents. You a westerner nao, Mohammed.

I'll probably drink 1 and if i feel dizzy just chuck out the rest.
I don't want to be flat out drunk. Like I said I said before I have to get sober before I get home.
Will my movements be sluggish and noticeable to other people like in the movies?
Thanks
Ok. Would food be better?

Screen shotted :)

I am a guy but I'm not sure what any of that means?

All my mates go out every weekend for it so I guess so.

Septic is a well known slang (sometimes derogatory) way to refer to Americans
i.e fucking fat septic tourists always overcrowd the stations during holidays like it's giving free food

Ayyyy

>5% alcohol
>shit ton of sugar
>feel the bern
are you fucking kidding me? literally smirnoff ice 12 year old drink tier.

Maybe you should actually taste some different beers. Your country has a massive selection.

beers not a newbie drink though. Bit of an acquired taste. It took me a while to migrate from shandy/cider to beer and my parents actively encouraged it when I was 12-13 or so. I reckon voddy (perhaps mixed, but measured) is the way to go.

I don't live by myself just yet.

Prefer mine to be as tart as possible. Just picked whatever the first thing to come up on google for the pic.

t. Alcoholic who only started drinking because someone told him he'd be a pussy if he didn't.

We don't all need to train ourselves to not puke when drink goat urine in order to get people to like us.

Dirty Kuffer. Enjoy your honour killing

>I'll probably drink 1 and if i feel dizzy just chuck out the rest.
Not from 1 beer
>I don't want to be flat out drunk. Like I said I said before I have to get sober before I get home.
Drink coffee and wait a little while if you drink a lot. You can drink one beer and drive anywhere afterwards without having to worry. It will take more than that to get drunk.
>Will my movements be sluggish and noticeable to other people like in the movies?
Not unless you're sloppy drunk. Just to be safe, avoid talking to anyone when you get home.
>Ok. Would food be better?
Mouthwash is actually a great excuse because it has alcohol in it and will leave your breath smelling minty fresh. You can chew gum as well and use it as an excuse if someone thinks you're slurring your speech. Food and water are good for the next morning if you ever get a hangover. Alcohol can dehydrate your body.

Before you get drunk, you got to eat.

Eat spareribs.

You will forever be immune to Islam.

Like I said, vodka + lemonade is how I get my kicks when I need to entertain people who can't have fun and be sober at the same time.

Drink shitloads of water and eat something along with whatever you pick. You'll piss it all out in no time.

I only started drinking alcohol at 20 and that was because I tried an ale and thought it tasted nice.

Not everyone drinks to get wasted my underaged friend.

It's very common in the U.K to do that at any age though

Bruh I'm still Muslim and I drink like a motherfucker lol, just go to any pubs and tell them your new to drinking and they'll help you out. Enjoy the experience m8

I don't quite understand why that is an issue for an adult male westerner. Do your parents try and control every aspect of your life?

Of course, that's what put me off alcohol for those 4 years (most people were drinking from 16 where I live).

Nobody at that age drinks beer though as you claimed. It's basically all just vodka + soft drinks, cheap cider, cheap wine or another spirit like fireball whisky.

Different user

>I don't want to be flat out drunk. Like I said I said before I have to get sober before I get home.

How much time do you have? If it's your first time and you've got more than a couple of hours spare, then you should be able to comfortably have 3-4 drinks and be fine by the time you go home. If you still feel drunk/tipsy, just chug a heap of water and chew some gum.

OP why so haram

reminds me of this

Alcohol us overrated. Buy some kava roots powder off the internet, mix it with water and drink it for the effects.

>You can drink one beer and drive anywhere afterwards without having to worry. It will take more than that to get drunk.
>I don't have my license yet. I'm getting it soon but I just turned 18 so soon.

I'll keep it in min :^)

Sure. I hope they'll be friendly desu.

Kind of yeah. My emails/what I buy etc etc. If they knew about this Id be out in the streets and they;d stop paying for uni.

No b8 m8.

>How much time do you have? If it's your first time and you've got more than a couple of hours spare, then you should be able to comfortably have 3-4 drinks and be fine by the time you go home. If you still feel drunk/tipsy, just chug a heap of water and chew some gum.

Is around 3 hours enough?

Meh, try weed instead.

I tried weed before. Not my type of thing.

And bump