/vocaroo thread/

vocaroo time? vocaroo time!
post texts, record vocaroos etc

>obligatory English
Finnish immigration officials have revised their security assessments for Afghanistan, Iraq and Somalia. They believe that it's now safe for nationals to return to their home countries, making it more difficult for asylum seekers from these countries to receive residence permits in Finland. Meanwhile legal reforms that took effect on Monday mean Finland will no longer grant discretionary residence permits on the basis of humanitarian protection to those denied asylum.

Other urls found in this thread:

vocaroo.com/i/s1peLJf7drSI
vocaroo.com/i/s1dftoQoelSF
vocaroo.com/i/s1t5jMDUnrBC
vocaroo.com/i/s0XN6SnmuAdi
vocaroo.com/i/s0TW9oE6CmU6
vocaroo.com/i/s1znlx8YBM4X
vocaroo.com/i/s1KtIvNkCSv6
vocaroo.com/i/s0ppp59rdPqE
vocaroo.com/i/s0LTDSSVwbAb
youtube.com/watch?v=wHvTq6Bf_pg
vocaroo.com/i/s0V4e2Yv4vSF
vocaroo.com/i/s0CyOQQSjEWJ
vocaroo.com/i/s1BbhsC4UDsv
vocaroo.com/i/s06Iw7rTJjJr
vocaroo.com/i/s1Rkr1GhuJfo
vocaroo.com/i/s1SNEJzlZEbM
vocaroo.com/i/s1SKa3aIVZ9w
vocaroo.com/i/s13Ag1I5pI43
vocaroo.com/i/s1fllrecTpfg
vocaroo.com/i/s0juQ4vJ78vp
vocaroo.com/i/s07p0ghoroyp
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

vocaroo.com/i/s1peLJf7drSI

You have the charisma of a damp rag, and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk. And the question that I want to ask, […] that we're all going to ask, is "Who are you?". I'd never heard of you. Nobody in Europe had ever heard of you. I would like to ask you, President, who voted for you, and what mechanism … oh, I know democracy isn't popular with you lot, and what mechanism the people of Europe have to remove you? Is this European democracy? Well, I sense, I sense though that you are competent and capable and dangerous, and I have no doubt in your intention, to be the quiet assassin of European democracy, and of the European nation states. You appear to have a loathing for the very concept of the existence of nation states - perhaps that's because you come from Belgium, which is pretty much a non-country. But since you took over, we've seen Greece reduced to nothing more than a protectorate. Sir, you have no legitimacy in this job at all, and I can say with confidence that I speak on behalf of the majority of British people in saying: We don't know you, we don't want you, and the sooner you're put out to grass, the better.

vocaroo.com/i/s1dftoQoelSF
fucked it up towards the end

need more passion and cigarettes/10

vocaroo.com/i/s1t5jMDUnrBC
Oh boy I sure love this speech, it's just beautiful, and von rompuy face throughout it just makes it even better.

Finns can't into passion

vocaroo.com/i/s0XN6SnmuAdi

10/10 for pronouncing "clerk" like are Nige

tested the AM radio effect with this song
vocaroo.com/i/s0TW9oE6CmU6

vocaroo didn't fuck it up as bad as I expected so r8

Man I know the intonation of the beggining by heart, he even says "the question that I wanna ask... the question that we all wanna ask is, WHO ARE YOU, I never heard of you, NOBODY IN EUROPE, has ever heard of you ?"

I may have watched it too much... kek

more bass, bro.

that kind of kills the point of a radio effect desu

you can at least dampen the sharp twang a bit

> loving my technical speak I hope

vocaroo.com/i/s1znlx8YBM4X

you can never watch too much of are Nige

yeah I tried to soften it but it became too blurry
might try it again

>scotsman voting for clegg

Where have you been for the last 4 years?

Is he still rocking the EU parliament now ? Haven't heard of him for a while t b h

the orkneys

he is on the campaign trail m8, june 23rd approaches

>orkneys

avin a cheeki gigl eh u sothren cunts dinae ken a fkan sheep evan if wi beste bit yer fkan rump u twat

> still britain

where's your Mel Gibson now?

he's a seppo/gaol hybrid I'm personally offended whenever I see his mug on me town's main square

>poland
>offended about something unrelated to them

Colour me surprised

>be english
>get KHAN'd

I concede.

why didn't Boris run for the office again

Contrary to what he'll tell you, he's got eyes for the big prize. He's an MP again

vocaroo.com/i/s1KtIvNkCSv6

bum[p

>bonk clark

vocaroo.com/i/s0ppp59rdPqE

Out of?

Also,
>damp rak

>vocaroo.com/i/s0ppp59rdPqE

you realise he is recording an excerpt from a speech made by a British politician meaning that the pronunciation "clark" is correct.

I gave your mum a damp rack

see

10, like the US.

Well then Sir Fuck whatever his name is pronounced it wrong too.

So 8/10 for a Yank accent? :^)

>nige in a yank accent

Something inside me died a little at the thought

>see

disgusting.

R8 my fake British accent lads:

vocaroo.com/i/s0LTDSSVwbAb

>inb4 I sound Jamaican

>clerk

sorry lad, fell on the first hurdle

suppose I had better post the actual clip so you can hear how it's done

youtube.com/watch?v=wHvTq6Bf_pg

time to make my lira of the day :3

vocaroo.com/i/s0V4e2Yv4vSF

It starts at 0:40 btw

>2016
>needing an simultaneous translator for English


I never knew the expression "non-country" was outside of Sup Forums. The memes are real.

Stop posting that ugly cockroach

Rate my Faroese anyone?
vocaroo.com/i/s0CyOQQSjEWJ

M8, belgium pretty much is a non-country. No memes to be seen here lad.

>Faroese

About 3 months too late for that m8. He is rare around these parts

>Clicks Link
>Armenian genocide
This is my favorite thing about Turks

Your wish is my command
vocaroo.com/i/s1BbhsC4UDsv

any poker tonight lads?

Put me a tricky text for British accent m8, I want to give it another try.

vocaroo.com/i/s06Iw7rTJjJr
Shitty Mic incoming

+1

please delet

>mfw family name is actually Van Rompuy

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.

here is my rushed attempt: vocaroo.com/i/s1Rkr1GhuJfo

For God's sake, me belly ache
The doctor said it’s me kidney
He said he’s got to stick a tube up me knob
I said you got to be kidding me
For God's sake, knob ache.
---------------------------------
If moths had eyes, would they be happier?
How do they know they're not dead?
Cavemen hunting for food,
But not before they style the hair on their head
What would last longer in dinosaur times?
A blind man didn't stand a chance. Not with all them rocks about
I'd rather be a blind moth

vocaroo.com/i/s1SNEJzlZEbM

vocaroo.com/i/s1SKa3aIVZ9w

Blind recording, without hearing yours first. Probably butchered it all the way.

vocaroo.com/i/s13Ag1I5pI43

English is hard.

>daughter

That word sounded pretty British.

>vocaroo.com/i/s1Rkr1GhuJfo

10/10

Would go homo for you Nigel.

> would go homo

Being that you're from Colombia you're probably 60% through transitioning already.

Nah, they only fuck burras

Nah, we are 3rd world and Catholic, we hate fags here.

But you have a cool voice, so if you have a feminine penis I might make an exception.

Rate my reading of your retarder tounge twistter

not bad bro :DDD

I have no OC today so I'll read anything

What OC do you normally post?

I don't post routinely but the OC I do post when I have created stuff is just random stories and extracts from scripts I've written.

Oh cool. Do you have links on hand you could post? I'm just wondering if I've heard any of it before.

Yesterday or the day before I posted this:

When I was 6 years of age I dreamt from the perspective of an elderly man living at a villa in the Tuscan hillside, in Italy.

The dreams were routine and I'd dream about it almost every night. I'd see his world from a first-person perspective. Most dreams were about tending to an olive orchard nearby for fun and this man had a scruffy little dog with coarse, brown hair and his name was Bruno. Bruno would carry the bucket for the olives.

After routinely dreaming about this guys life for around two years he met an Italian girl, she was sweet and I could sense the love he felt for her. She loved him as well and they got married and lived in a house together. They had a daughter and they both gave her a perfect life, the man and his wife grew old together. I started to record the dreams in a journal after telling my mother about what I've been seeing while asleep over the past 5 years. I think I was around 11 years old at this point.

One night the man passed away, his grave overlooked his olive orchard where he spent most of his days in the warm Italian weather. His grandchildren would bring their grandchildren to see his grave and leave flowers.

It's only now I've stopped dreaming about this man. I fear I'll never see the world from his perspective again.

oh hahah, I remember that.

Hey Kafirs,
My name is Barry Al-Britani, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, western, imperialists who spend every second of their day looking at blasphemous ass pictures of the Prophet (P.B.U.H). You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I have on my recent trips to Rotherham and Cologne. I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own lack of taqwa, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than Israel.
Don’t be a stranger. Just blow me up with your best Jihad. Like Muhammed, I'm pretty much perfect. I established the Islamic State of Twickenham, and voted for Sadiq Khan 6 times during the Londonistan mayoral elections and I've smuggled over 9 thousand ISIS agents into Europe. What have you done, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also got straight A’s in Islamic theology, and have a banging hot goat girlfriend which my Algerian brother gifted me as a reward for entry into Europe (She just blew me up; Shit was SO halal). You are all infidels who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me

Read this m8:

Hath not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs,
dimensions, senses, affections, passions? fed with
the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject
to the same diseases, healed by the same means,
warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as
a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed?
if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison
us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not
revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will
resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian,
what is his humility? Revenge. If a Christian
wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be by
Christian example? Why, revenge. The villany you
teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I
will better the instruction.

FOR ANGLOS AND OTHERS:
vocaroo.com/i/s1fllrecTpfg

Hwæt! We Gar-Dena in gear-dagum

þeod-cyninga, þrym gefrunon,

hu ða æþelingas ellen fremedon!

Oft Scyld Scefing sceaþena þreatum

monegum mægþum meodo-setla ofteah;

egsode eorl[as] syððan ærest wearð

feasceaft funden; he þæs frofre gebad,

weox under wolcnum, weorð-myndum þah,

oðæt him æghwylc þara ymb-sittendra

ofer hron-rade hyran scolde,

gomban gyldan. Þæt wæs god cyning!

vocaroo.com/i/s0juQ4vJ78vp

vocaroo.com/i/s07p0ghoroyp

No Southerners in this thread wtf

>vocaroo.com/i/s07p0ghoroyp

Are you the chocolate rain guy? Your voice is fucking deep.

I'm actually Florid*an

Post some vocaroos you ding-dongs

>I'm actually Florid*an

So? Humidity made you voice deep?