Why is Google terrible at naming their products?

Why is Google terrible at naming their products?

No filter here but most of their employees are either dude Bros or pseudo nerds with literally no imagination and can't make an innovative or appealing product except forcing it down people's throats until they start skull fucking them

Example: Someone in my university had a dad that was a total Chad. He's a total pseudo need/dweeb, and no where like his father. Said father went to a frat and had a frat bro. This kid just asked his dad to hook him a job at Google on the east coast for UX, so he called his dad called his old frat friend since friend works in Google SV. Next thing you know, the little shit got the job without an interview

His portfolio is pretty mediocre so it goes to show you what kind of people they have. Unless it's some hot shit like AI, which they can't fuck up on, then they hire big shot brainy folks

Well, this is shit.

Google is notoriously bad at three (3) things:
1.) Naming their products
2.) Keeping them alive for more than 3 years
3.) Giving people exactly what they want in a product, i.e. Allo

fyi this is basically every big company

Although, when they get all 3 right with a product, it ends up being wildly popular/influential.

i.e. Chrome

Even if a product becomes big and brings in revenue, it might still make sense to shut it down and move the engineers to advertising which is the core product bringing in the billions. They make so much on advertising that nothing else is worthwhile.

What the fuck even was allo

Allo is Hangouts, except it was supposed to be better. I'll admit; it's MUCH easier to use, and looks a lot better (visually), but it lacked too many key features for people to actually use it. So Google spent months building hype, and when people used it and realized how shit it is, it fell flat on its face.

>no conversation syncing
>no desktop client
>no SMS fallback
>no fun, not ever
they are working on a desktop client and conversation syncing as we speak, but unfortunately convo sync works through Google Drive, like WhatsApp, and the desktop client has to be paired with your phone. So Google's "fixes" are really dodgy and shitty and unlikely to revive Allo users. Too little, too late.

I still prefer Allo to Hangouts, but Hangouts has way more useful features.

A beautiful, shitty communication app developed by Google.
It works like iMessage. You pair your phone number to it and that's that. Unfortunately it's missing a lot of features that iMessage has, so nobody's using it now. Which is a shame because it's cross-platform, which means it could've been huge if Google hadn't botched it. No more "gray bubbles"

Google is the worst company in the world.
They have so much money and they can't release a single good thing other than their search-service.
I really wonder what the hell is happening there.

>A(nother) beautiful, shitty communication app developed by Google.

I thought Google was full of engineers and a few sjw

Bullshit, Yahoo is 20 times worse than them

Google is much bigger also.
But yeah, Yahoo is in the same league.

>no desktop client
If there's one thing that has been really pissing me off about Google it's been this.

I get they don't want to give Windows any sort of edge, but saying Chrome is their desktop solution for all their services is piss poor. I see nothing wrong with them making stand alone applications for each desktop based OS.

There's a few things I like outside of their search service which make my above comment frustrating.

And since Chrome OS can run Android apps now, Google could definitely just bake Allo right into the OS the way Apple does iMessage.
But they won't do that. This is Google we're talking about.

Honestly I want a solution that isn't Chrome OS exclusive, I have yet to have a compelling reason to buy a chrome book, and this doesn't sell it for me. Every time I get on the fence over one I end up just looking at the alternatives.

Yes this is why we have frat houses

I wonder why Google simply can't get into social networks. Allo is like their third failure in the messaging business, there's also Google + that nobody uses and several ideas that didn't even leave the drawing board like Google Wave.

I was really hoping for Google+ to succeed back in the day, after feeling Facebook was getting stagnate, but after all the privacy issues, Google is the last company I want making a social network, outside a few services.