Sir, can you power on and decrypt your laptop please

Sir, can you power on and decrypt your laptop please

Sure thing
>Uses password that only unencrypts one drive and not my hidden drive

sry no can do i happen to have lost the encryption key
how silly of me

What do you mean decrypt? Just hit the power button to boot right into my admin account without a password.

not my laptop

>not wiping the machine clean before traveling
you either put the stuff you want to keep private on some server that you can access securely over the internet before you leave, or if you need to transport bulk data, you take an external set up with dm-crypt plain mode. If they ask you what's on that you just say "nothing's on that, I brought it in case I fill up the memory card on my camera (or whatever)"

>Uhhhh Uhhhhhh, t-thanks you too
>*crab walks away*

Would this work?

i'm afraid i can't, i sent the physical decryption usb to my target location a month prior to my flight

I live the gloves. What if I told you I was a bad boy? Or maybe bad girl. I've got skirt in my luggage and when I ware it it's ok.

Ok, we'll just detain you until you can remember it.

Very well sir, but you aren't getting on this flight until I see the contents of your laptop. We can do this the easy way or the hard way.

A-am i being detained?

i'd like your name and immatriculation number for future reference
also pls no cavity search

>taking your laptop with you when travelling in or out of the "land of the "free""

literally asking for an anal probe

i'd just wipe it clean and restore from backup once past the border desu
and that's implying they wouldn't outright steal my shit like they did with the cock.li faggot

excuse me, but how dare you treat me, a citizen of Israel, in such horrible way? Was one holocaust not enough?
I'll sue you.

M-My apologies sir. Please continue through the metal detector. Have a nice day.

>and that's implying they wouldn't outright steal my shit like they did with the cock.li faggot
I must have missed the story. What happened?

Sir, calm down. Sir, we're going to have to take you into custody. Stop resisting! Gonna need backup here! STOP RESISTING! HE'S GOING FOR MY GUN!

>carrying illegal data on your laptop
shuggyshiggydoo.jpg.exe

>At American airport
>tell border patrol agent I don't have a facebook account
>get shot

>crossing borders with anything non-burner
>not buying a cheap off the shelf netbook from a random store on arrival if you must have a laptop

MOOT, SEND THE LEEJUNS!

>when you accidentally buy a random laptop from a cia front

he decided to visit his home country and border agents just took every electronics he had for no apparent reason other than him probably being on some sort of spooky security list
he wrote about it in his blog

>drive-by captain picard from here by accident
>FBI breaks into my house and confiscates computer machines
>agent does cavity search
>immediately goes ass to mouth
Fucking FBI

>place my thinkpad T400 on the conveyor x-ray machine
>makes loud bang sound
>everyone around me, including the TSA agents snicker

>power level:
>wizard+10

obviously you check to see if they left any secret docs on it before you wipe it

>netbook
Do they even still sell those? Everywhere I go it's shitty chink tablets.

>not modifying kernel to boot into safe partition when particular character sequence is entered

The laptop isn't encrypted. I just dd if=/dev/random the drive because I needed a bunch of random data ;)

Relax Sup Forums unless you buy one of those stallman laptops they probably already have the root.

This. These fuckwads have no idea what a hidden volume is, and even is they did, they can't prove one exists

What are volume headers?
What are fstab entries?
What is `cat ~/.bash_history | grep cryptsetup` ?

Those are all questions that are non-existent to a TSA agent

TSA doesn't ask you to unlock your laptop from encryption, US Customs and Border Protection can.

Difference being, CBP controls your entrance into the US. TSA just screens you at security checkpoints to get on flights. You won't get asked to decrypt domestically.

>turn on laptop
>TempleOS boots

Take your time, dumb nigger cattle.

This will be a reality after Kikerberg becomes the president of USA in 2020

No, the keys are at my destination.

underrated

>not having a fake facebook account with 3000 bot friends

No way zuck would succeed. Locals from where he grew up hate him, Facebook is controversial as fuck, and the quotes on him directly insult the american public. E.g. the "Dumbfucks" quote over people who gave info to Facebook.

Trump's "grab 'em by the pussy" quote offended some. Hillary's "basket of deplorables" comment offended a lot more. The dumbfucks quote is associated with anyone who has touched facebook, vs. the pussy quote which is not specifically addressed to individuals who haven't had contact.

Sure, make sure to check out the folder "Large Futa Loli's"

How often does this happen?

t.europoor

''''Random''''' screenings at airports now.
Theyre rolling out checkpoints at train stations in 2018 and on highways in 2019.
Hbu?

Within the Schengen area:
>have you got any electronics and liquids?
>yes
>please put them in the scanner and continue through the metal gate
>done

Though I haven't flown outside the Schengen area for a decade, no idea if there are screenings in that case.

Fraction of a fraction of a percent. They only ask if you're really interesting for some reason. If you refuse they send you home.

LOL, shows what you know. TSA V.I.P.R. exists already, CBP already had broad authority (admittedly expanded under Trump). TSA randomly screens but after the LAX shootings they pulled the agents back. CBP is not largely minimum wage so they're far more targeted and careful.

>modify kernel
>"excellent"
>finally the moment comes
>"s-s-sure thing, officer. let me just type in my password..."
>be nervous, type in regular password
>it was all for nothing

I don't know where you fags get these shitty memes

I go in and out of the US all the time and have never been asked to decrypt my laptop or even turn it on at all

I guess they are trained to say "ok now can you decrypt the other drive aswel"? Even if you dont have such thing.

it's a random-selection thing. They pick one out of every X people. Usually they don't even want you to type in a password or log in, they just want to see that it turns on so you're not trying to smuggle something in a laptop case.

if you're brown or are going to/from somewhere in the middle east then you have a much higher (though still not exactly large) chance of running into this.

Jacob Appelbaum said he once spent a considerable amount of time at the airport because they didn't understand that you can have a laptop without a HDD and run a live system.

>lying to a border agent

>traveling with a laptop
You are just asking for it to be stolen, or fucked with.

Leave that shit at home and enjoy being away from a screen for once.

What if I like traveling

>not lying to everyone you meet until you cannot differentiate between what is truth and lie.

pleb

T. Someone who doesn't travel

>not bringing a cheap chromebook and a burner phone whenever you travel

Pros:
>Less worried about your cheap disposable shit getting stolen
>Worry free border crossing
>Ultimate in privacy
>Using a local SIM means no roaming charges

Cons
>Literally none

Im white so this wouldnt happen to me

>tfw you were never free and you never will be
Any kind of authority triggers me which is why I'm not going outside again.

I'm new to g is this your version of kinoplex penis inspections, crab legs, and showers?

>>Using a local SIM means no roaming charges

So I'd need like 5 cards in Europe

'no'

there aren't any roaming charges anymore in the EU

only from July 1st I think

>Oh i see you're using an intel processor,let me grab my laptop and we can connect to that bad boy

Guess who's not getting on his flight.

>
>What are volume headers?
>What are fstab entries?
>What is `cat ~/.bash_history | grep cryptsetup` ?
Things that are encrypted

SAVAGE AF

I don't know how it's not my laptop

>Enter password, give him laptop
>Only 1 documents folder, 65000+ images
>All goastse photoshops. Some are animated.
>MFW

even then at the moment the charges are capped to a certain amount
You could get a 1 month SIM card from a provider like 3 and you get unlimited roaming across all of Europe as well as places like Hong Kong, Australia, Canada, and the US

>lying in order to confuse yourself

>as he puts on the gloves and lubes up
I kek'd

>not storing all your 1920x1080 cp pictures as 2073600 random my little pony images, each one of which contains 1 altered pixel that belong to the CP image.

>going to a 3rd world country

>land of the 'free'
No thanks.

>get beaten for hours by TSA agents and sent directly to guantanamo bay

best

So what if the battery is dead?

what the fuck

>he has a laptop
you asked for it, retard.

You burgers actually have to show whats on your computer before you can leave your country ? Damn

Decrypt? Nigga, that's a basic password. If you don't know how to get in, why are you even here? What's your salary, you piece of shit?

If america isn't free why does rms live there?
check mate

MY SIDES!!!

Hillary's basket of deplorables thing offended more people than the president admitting to rape? What the fuck are you smoking?

>admitting to rape
Weak bait, please leave.

2/10 apply yourself

Retards. Police clone your computer first

Not really, it's more like a theoretical "wat do" kind of post.

ALLAH ACKBAR YOU DIE NOW BOOM BOOM

What was the bang?

It's not encrypted, I use it as is.
Here you go, I powered it on.

>No sir, I will not turn it on. What you are asking is illegal.

Simple.

its heavy get it

lel

People selected for random screening do.

we both have our awful police states, they're just different.

wat

You mean, they actually touch your files? They actively turn the PC on and inspect random files?