In about 5 seconds, they'll bust your door

In about 5 seconds, they'll bust your door.

wat do?

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Yell "Allahu Akbar"

Quickly unlock balcony door, jump from second floor, attempt to land on grass, then run for it.

hit tilda then type disconnect

Do a 360 and walk away

praise tatsuya I don't have to hang myself anymore.

assault them with a knife so they can shoot me to death

Go ahead and unlock it myself. It's annoying to repair a door.

Pull the plug. Oops forgot the password, niggers.

get on the floor and walk the dinosaur -- naked, with train roll playing in the backgorund

they'll shoot to kill then. you're fucked kid.

I bet that you'd be in a shock and would panic and wouldn't do shit as they come in and point the gun at you.

I've been in high stress situations before and have a cameras over my doors. Stop projecting your insecurities.

unmount all harddrives
overwrite ram with random data
Spam reset on hardway based key storage (for decrypting computer)
It probably would probably take less time to rebuild everything I had, compared to the amount of time I would be in prison.

Pull out the heavy duty magnets. GG

Log out my google drive

Hehe good luck cucks finding anything, all my illegal shit is in the cloud

youtube.com/watch?v=gnKuATDRsBs

remember this faggot? he talks a lot of shit online and had hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of buttcoins yet he used library's wifi and didn't even encrypt his drives. they caught him with his pants down.

fucking clown.

rest of you would fuck up even worse.... so don't do any illegal shit, toddlers.

Don't resist and ask for a search warrant. If they have the proper documentation, let them take whatever the warrant specifies. I have nothing to hide (on the devices currently in my possession). I will get my devices back in a matter of weeks and my company will likely sue the DOJ for lost productivity since this is my work laptop and there is no reasonable suspicion that I have used it for anything illegal.

>unmount all harddrives
>overwrite ram with random data
go time yourself right now. go and try to do what you just said in 5 seconds. that's how long it would take for SWAT to bust your door open and come into your room.

you'd just panic and wouldn't do shit. by the time you'd realize what's happening, you'd already be spread on the floor.

>he doesn't have a selfdestruct keybind

>delusions of a retard

Your stick men comic has granted me an epiphany.

> 5sec - lock bedroom door so they have to bust through two doors, this will give me an extra 2 sec
> 5sec - close blinders so the cant see me
> 4sec - delete browser history
> 3-1 sec - destroy hard drive with hammer i keep under my bed for protection

Conclusion
no computer no evidence

wonder if my insurance covers being swatted by mistake.

I have nothing to hide, so nothing to fear

Good plan, until they take the smashed platter to the lab and repair the platter and extract the files.

>granted me an epiphany
?

Ask if they want some tacos

Save a multi GB file on my Raid 0 SSD's whilst pulling out the sata plugs. and Clearing cmos at the same time.

Police can't do shit like that if you live in a free country.

at least not on the book ;)

I'd be wondering why they busted my door when they could have knocked.

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Because the U.S. is a police state and its cops are wannabe action movie stars.

>implying burgerland is free
ayy lmao

I'd show them my badge and tell them they have the wrong house.

Ask them why they are raiding a chicken restaurants after hours

>Implying a hammer strike can smash a platter.
They call the hard drives for a reason.

that's pretty good desu. How would the cops know what your google account is? It would be like finding a needle in haystack!

I DON'T CONSENT TO SEARCHES I KNOW MY RIGHTS FOURTH AMENDMENT I DON'T RECOGNIZE THE LEGITIMACY OF YOUR WARRANT YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF THE NON AGGRESSION PRINCIPLE AM I BEING DETAINED!?

I AM A SOVEREIGN CITIZEN
I AM A CITIZEN OF THE EARTH
YOU CAN'T DETAIN ME REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

jokes on them i have incognito mode

M.2 SSD's blend pretty well.

you can use a hidden volume and use outer volume as a bait. nobody can tell if hidden volume exists or not.

>CORE PURGE

>OP asks a question
>shoots down any answer with rage and tears

Gee whizz what a great thread faggot

youtube.com/watch?v=2ePBNGmxVK8

>hear doorbell
>have PTSD

disabled that fucker.

>Store your super hacker data on a microsd
>Insert it into your anus

Time for a cavity search.

lol. I always fantasized about something like that when I saw that as a kid.

Spread those buttcheeks wide, son, gonna have to go in dry.

no. what did he do?

>implying anything else is more free than burgerland
>implying he implied burgerland
off my Sup Forums minimal wage Europoor dumb faggot

What are the odds of the cops finding something as tiny as that if you hide it in some common objects around the house?

j-just asking out of curiosity of course

As far as my understanding goes, I'm pretty certain they're extremely thorough.

get naked so they run away

If they """know""" that it exists, they have dogs which have been trained to sniff out electronics.

that's why you hide it on someone else's property. they don't have a warrant for that.

clever girl...

>Hmmm, this 1 terabyte HDD only shows 500 gigabytes. Why, user?
>Cheap Chinese shit, I tell ya.

Wonder what the fuck I'm doing in the US

Maybe secure the encryption keys on that, so that you only need it when booting the computer. This way you don't have to use pneumatic tubes to send it to your neighbor when the fbi comes knocking on your door.

take my ak47 out and shoot them :)
my property biitch..

where you live, user?

Unless you live in Bumfuck, Nowhere, the cops will have a forensics division (or a company that they outsource to) that will quickly figure out you have another partition.

lmao this burger is SEETHING. enjoy having a militarized police. gotta love your blacks who brought that shit to you. indeed the richest and most powerful government you have over there

>sniff out electronics
What if I place it inside electronics then? Hiding a tree in a forest etc

yeah, fuck them. they can't charge taxes either.

Yurop

name one

I am pretty sure his drives were encrypted. The police created a diversion and two officers jumped him and snatched his laptop before he could do anything. He was booting from a USB so he could yank it out if he thought shit was hitting the fan. He wasn't quick enough on the draw.

>implying my OPSEC is that bad

Roberts was a literal retard.

Unironically the US. Lawyers will sue over the slightest bruise or scratch, and your right to remain silent when asked for your encryption keys has been well established here. Countries like Britain actually require people to divulge their keys if asked, but the punishment for failing to comply may or may not be lighter than the punishment you'd get if they had the evidence on your drive.

retard every encrypted file is shown as full pre-selected amount of size. its not like it changes size after you add files, you select the size before you anything in.
you sure got me there you clueless fucking faggot

I'm not sure, but dogs have crazy accurate and strong sense of smelling.
I proposed in a previous thread that you could have a form of edible storage which would be digested when consumed.

what would he do with a usb if they were after him? eat it?

I would assume that there was an encrypted container on the drive, but I don't know.

Fucking nothing, because unless you're dealing black market kidneys from Pakistan (basically only applies to chinks that draged their shady asses here) or some shit like that there is little reason to get swated in my country.
>living in the US/UK
>being this cucked by own government

put on pants

>tfw friends brother destroyed thousands of dollars of computer shit bc of fbi pedo scare

lmfao you degens are great

That looks exactly like one of the maps in Rainbow6. The walls, everything.

Comply because I'm not a pedophile

>they'll shoot to kill then. you're fucked kid.
>implying thats not the plan

Couldn't they just take the Mobo

rm -rf /

open it so they won't break the door, and greet them in a nice way.

meet them at the door, greet 'em; the worst i have is a terabyte of assorted pirated games and music and if i don't comply i'm running a big fucking risk

>I am pretty sure his drives were encrypted
proofs?

They're going to need more power than just that handheld metal tube to bust down my door. Also, it's not my door so who gives a fuck.

>open it so they won't break the door, and greet them in a nice way.
Thats not how it works. They technically knock but they knock about half a second before they use the ram to bust the door lock.

They do this so you don't have the time to destroy any evidence.

...

>They do this so you don't have the time to destroy any evidence.
That's the rationalisation, anyway.

In reality people just have killswitches on their front doors so when they're bust open the evidence is destroyed automatically. I think more people should have door killswitches, activated if the door is opened without being unlocked first.
That way the entire 'we gotta get in before they destroy evidence' is meaningless since there's no way to do it fast enough, so you knock, have them open the door and then just arrest them.

Grab my gun, snort some coke and go out in a firefight

Pull the lever that drops my server down to the basement, where the industrial shredder is already spinning. Good luck recovering anything from tiny shreddings.

Your ip had been logged and now ur on a watchlist you pedo fag i hope u die

Grab my AR-15 and go out in a blaze of glory

Actually not bad if it looks unaltered.

Put my hands behind my head and lay down on the floor.

I don't do anything illegal that can really be traced to any physical degree. This isn't 'hurr I use vpn' it's more 'literal physical separation'. Either way, the stuff done that way is not even illegal either, just suspicious to authorities from time to time and they do seize it occasionally to investigate and it gets returned.

Fuck you coppers, I'M paying for MY electrical bill. Cunts.

Push the intercom button and warn them about the skunks in the hall.