Engineers and Ops

A thread for all those jack-of-all-skills IT workers out there who realise that coding is simply a means to an end.

Post your current projects, horror stories, manager rants, dev bitchslaps, and explain through 20 green lines how you said "No" to someone and felt incredibly smug about it.

I'm currently designing and remodeling our company's shitty ancient monitoring system with the hopes of replacing 2005-era Solarwinds and a bespoke javascript page with Graylog, Graphite, and

Applicable Job Titles:
>Sys Admin/Engineer/Analyst
>Devops
>IT guy
>Tech
>Deskjockey

>Be put in charge of designing a way for a robot to have its battery changed out without losing feed while it is in the pipe
>Enter retarded code monkey team
>Go to team leader
>He wants to code the shit in python
>Tell him the milliseconds of delay mean it will not work
>Tells me to fuck off
>Pull rank
>Get him reprimanded and put on the team with the pooloos
>Get a cup of coffee and find the biggest suck-up to go with my plan
>Have a damn good rest of the day

I will never understand how script kiddies ever get into leadership roles. I imagine he blew somebody.

Everyone gets promoted one step higher than they should.

>CTO is just one of the engineers that got promoted
>Continues to do engineer busywork all the time
>Never delegates
>Trusts no one
>Demands to have his finger in every pie, and approval for every change
>CEO finally had enough and cut his pay back down to engineer till he stop delaying shit and actually does CTO work.

One boss is a negative, two negative bosses make a positive.

Shit. Don't end the story there. What's the plan? How do you do this? How is the robot designed. Elaborate a little, please.

Unlucky. Both the Ops Manager and CIO in my company are former sysadmins and developers, but they don't get involved with the technical stuff any more.

Lucky you. My Ops manager has to ask me how to subnet and our CIO is just the CEOs wife...

NEPUTISM!

What does everyone use for monitoring hardware/VMs and applications at work?

If something breaks somebody will notice and probably raise a ticket.

>trusting the users.
You dumb fuck.

Fuck you Int*route you're all useless cunts

i call bullshit. just a bad story as a subtle way to shit on python

monit + nagios

If it doesn't bother them enough to complain and ACTUALLY make the ticket, whatever broke was clearly not important.

level platforms and manage engine over here.

We're also using LMI Central for some further management, but mostly remote control.

User makes ticket, my email is not working.
Turns out it's an DNS issue.

User makes ticket, I can't save my work after new upgrade.
Turns out she did not map the network drive.

>I don't know how I still have a job

The post.

user creates a ticket says "mouse isn't working"
turns out someone put a post-it on the optical sensor

post-it with a password I bet.

*sets ticket to resolved after three weeks of 'With Customer'*

heh

nothing.... personnel User

so, before I got this cushy internal CTO gig, I did a lot of consulting work, much of it was "cybersecurity" which was really social engineering.

It never failed, under about 15% of keyboards in a given office, is a sticky note with passwords, credit card info, or other sensitive info.

Being tall and white and above average handsomeness, it was always very easy for me to talk my way into an office, and after hours, just go wild.

People continue to fail to realize that end users are the weakest link. We still fail to spend serious dollars on training end users, and spend way more on fancy IT systems and security.

You see, the great thing is that most users have to go through the helpdesk to actually make tickets.
That catches a lot of stupid crap, if it actually is somethign serious, it's usually fixed because Zabbix complained about it first.

>it's a rolling upgrade from a 2003 exchange internal mail system to 365 episode

This is the worst episode I've ever seen. What a nightmare project.

hahaha, try exchange 5.5 to 2010 brother via SBSMigrator. Lots of fun.

Or last summer, Exchange 2010 to G Suite.... that wasn't technically hard, but training wise, it was a nightmare.

Logicmonitor for general hardware/storage/service monitoring, SQL Sentry for SQL, and OMS/Azure Log Analytics for weblog/solr/windows event log parsing and reporting