ITT: tech terms that make you cringe

ITT: tech terms that make you cringe

>user experience
>dynamic programming
>[sitename].io
>"made in [chicago, new york, san francisco]"
>intuitive design
>calling desktop programs "apps"

Cloud computing.

Pretty much anything that comes from PR and liberal arts faggots.

>calling desktop programs "apps"

>... evangelist
>... artisan
>... advocate

Seeing this in a bio tells you someone is fucked in the head

Intuitive design is good, though.

"accessibility" on the other hand..

GUI

outreach program

>"made with love"
>using twitter handles as developer credits
>developers credited as "~whatever~"
>developers twitter pic is a picture of themself

>[program_name] for human beings

>master slave
>male female
>binary
>whitespace

Agile Development

The actual concept of agile development is fine. The fact that companies just blindly and rigidly apply enforce scrum and then say its agile is what bugs.

>the bitcoin mixer for human beings
>the glue language for human beings
>the protein folder for human beings
>the naive bayesian inferencer for human beings
>the quantum-mechanical emulated virtual box system for human beings

>rock star artisan code ninja

>whitelist
>man
>master/slave
>dongle

>deep learning
>machine learning
>any other term that implies some sort of AI bullshit and not just some fancy math

>dev-ops

We just fired the sysadmin to save money so now you can do his job too.

>I turn coffee into code xD

>self-describing as a "hacker" when all you do is make iOS apps

>rockstar

>gooey

>a11y as short for accessibility
>l10n for localization
>i18n for internationalization
>growth hacker
>javascript ninja
>interaction engineer
>UI engineer
>UX engineer
>social media evangelist
>diversity engineer
>chief diversity officer
>chief social media officer
>devops (we don't want to pay for a sysadmin, the coders can do that)

based robots

oh god user the flashbacks to 2010

A massive solar flare can't hit us soon enough to wipe this degeneracy from this earth

THIS

ICWYDT

>cringe

Faggot

>Agile
>Scrum
>Story points

Also
>User Centered Design

fuark

Sup Forums /g

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>calling desktop programs "apps"

Absolute fucking madness! Why does everybody do that?

This

PR can go suck a dick

>i'm self-taught
>he literally wrote autodidact on his resume

>"Actually, I work in STEM."
>"Oh? What do you do?"

>Community outreach
>Read support tickets
>Forum moderator
> . . . .
>Activism
>Advocate for african midget transgenderism and pedophilia normalization

What the fuck happened?

you guys can't be much older than 18 and grew up with smartphones i guess ?
calling desktop applications "apps" has been a normale thing long before we had smartphones, the application category on every warez site, board, ftp server, etc was always called "appz"

>Hactivist

>user experience
Shouldn't every program be designed around the ability for users (especially if the product is paid for,) to use it without much thought, or does this have some other use case which I'm blind to? Sure, people are stupid and should learn the program they're using, but I don't see how intuitive design is bad.

>diversity evangelist / engineer

Not according to Sup Forums. If it's easy to use, then it must be for babies.

>hacker
>hacking
>[color] hat
>coder

to make something easy to use a lot of abstraction is needed which usually results in a loss of functionality.

but that's not true

what part isn't true ?

>ask the guy who hired me why I was chosen
>he liked that I was self-taught
Can't say I expected that meme to work

>single threaded
>dynamically typed
>for javascript

Calling programmers coders
Just the word coding itself bothers me

and the word programmer doesn't ? you don't call a carpenter a nailer just because that's part of his job

>Enterprise
Might as well just say "expensive".

Hello, grandpa.

>we love automation

no shit

hackathon

what's wrong with hackathon ?

Kek

Now I know this board contains at least one unemployes person.

nothing if you like to work overtime for free, I mean good goy points
also, it sounds like some kind of masturbation, not something serious adults do. No wonder we neckbeards are treated as children

While we're at it, can anyone explain we, what DevOps actually means, without giving links to wikipedia or some tech meme sites?

What people who do "DevOps" do? Our IT Head has it on his LinkedIn, I have no idea what did he mean by that.

Test-driven development

Fuck you dipshit

>agile
>devops
>cloud

Or you just like to code shit and compete

Fucking faggot, it could be a beautiful sunny day and you'd bitch about the wind.

>calling a usb flash memory simply usb
>cloud
>

Designated loser for stuff no one wants to do.

Refactoring build scripts, making VMs, docker images, maintaining CI servers etc

there are people who work on projects for reasons other than money. maybe because they enjoy it, or they want to contribute something because they think of it as meaningful.

Why is advocate on there?

>underages trying to look smart by getting triggered every time someone says "app" even though it has been a shorthand for "application" since the '80s

that's called a competition and you can win money. Hackathons, especially in house are just a scam. I rather earn some money from my work. But to each to their own I guess

I am the DevOps

>underages trying to look smart
isn't that all what Sup Forums is about ?

do a side project, make a startup, don't work for free

>coding session

>USB
>[programming language] guru, ninja etc
>gooie
>wifi cable

Well anyways I'm a agile java guru.

not everyone only cares about money.

no. 1 argument for macfags why they iToys are overprices.

if everyone thought like you the world would be an even worse place

>dynamic programming
Didn't you read Introduction to Algorithms?

no, it was too hard to understand

>computer "science"

Meeh... most people starting companies have it worse than people doing 9-5 jobs.

>>wifi cable
Nobody actually says this, surely?

>talent management

you are right, most of the time they work while losing money.

GTFO

>dynamic programming
>cringe

Nigga what?

Every "enterprise" term.
>dynamic programming
What's wrong with this one? It's directly related to programming unlike, say, linear programming.

>>dynamic programming
you're an idiot and don't understand what that is

sir, IIT, best college in world, teaches you that dynammic programming is useless skill to work in big enterprise in usa

Ever written Fibonacci using a for loop? That's dynamic programming.

i don't know what fibonacci is sir, but i can write good loops, even nest multiple of them

>i don't know what fibonacci is sir
You need to be over 18 to browse this web site.

>sir
Go back to 9gag

not even wrong my dude but it just makes shitting on the hi/v/emind all the better

>informatician
>hacker instead of cracker/security breaker
>Linux OS
>PC format (as reinstallation of nsa/vindows)

>hand-crafted

It means that intead of just programming you will get to stretch your job decscription to include server maintenance, running backups, installing software and cleaning the toilets. Also the CEO wants his car washed now, chop chop.

Yeah I actually agree that in house havkathons are scummy because you're pressured into working overtime

THIS^^^

>app store
>thumb drive
>Home edition

GUI is fine.

...