/brit/

english rose edition

plans for today lids?

>dancing at the club
>getting nowhere
>about to go home and fap myself to sleep
>moment of brilliance
>I'll do the Zaza
>every girl in the club is watching
>try to finish the dance
>loudly shit myself everywhere
>slip over in my watery shame-filled shit knocking myself unconscious

Wake up about 1pm
Get haircut
Get on a train
Spend the night in a hotel

>le eu is bad face

The EU referendum shouldn't've happened

The general public are far too stupid to decide for themselves

hahahaha

Serious ting

Friend is downstairs about to cheat on his gf (in my house)

Shall I go down and kick off? Feel like I shouled 2bh.

>Believing this

Yes, I quite agree.

yeah

I want to strap cara to a table and use her as my anal cum dumpster until she dies of starvation

Yes lad

And then what?

Don't leave me hanging....

Lie in bed as much as possible

>until she dies of starvation

have a wank

have a poo

On to the 4th wankering of the day

go to sleep, because my day is over

Wake up on Monday morning and do work relating things

Just done a genealogy website. My ancestors invented both hunting and gathering

I feel proud

yes
she cant eat if her ass is going to be clean all the time

Don't be a faggot, keep your mouth shut

I won't stop until the paki gives me back my flag.

>until she dies of starvation
shouldn't be long

Might buy Zaza on FIFA

i wank 3 times a week tops

...

He's one of my best mates and I know his gf. He'd be a fucking rodent if he cheated desu.

Funny isn't it

twat face

Got nothing to do with you, stay out of it

Funny isn't it Yank?

I wank three times a day tops

shit cunt

Yeah... No shagging in my house unless I'm involved 2bh

Might be worth a "are you sure?" to him but I wouldn't tell his gf tbf

>some girl keeps getting her youtube videos posted on Sup Forums
>find them funny, add her to skype
>she ends up flirting with me
>her nudes are posted all over Sup Forums and her internet reputation is sort of destroyed, try to help her out
>suddenly sleeping on skype together for half a year and buying her shit like a mug
>summer comes around, she keeps crying every night because she's lonely
>tell her one day "want me to visit? I can come whenever"
>"yes!"
>keep asking her things like "can we kiss? can we cuddle? can I brush your teeth?"
>get a simple "Yes" to everything I say no matter how bizarre
>drive 6 hours on my motorbike, crash 20min away from her house from dehydration/exhaustion
>go to hospital
>motorbike that cost me 1000 bitcoins is destroyed
>get 1 hour of time in a hotel room with her where she introduces herself as chris hansen from dateline nbc as a joke then hugs me and falls onto the bed with me
>get first kiss, handhold, hug
>go again later by megabus to visit 4 days
>get off with her, virginity promised to another guy but she gets ontop and impales herself randomly
>have sex with her maybe 10 times, never cum because she has no stamina and finishes in 5 minutes
>get arrested the last day, get let go because she's within age of consent and I wasn't kidnapping
>on the bus home she's in the hospital getting her stomach pumped with charcoal because she downed the medicine cabinet

>whole time she says she didn't care about me and just wanted to lose her virginity, because she was the "only virgin left at her school"
>people proceed to give her hundreds of dollars on patreon for doing nothing

Seems about right.

Midsummer, colder than April, raining everyday....

>people voted leave on the basis of 'Brexit the Movie' and Sup Forums memes

business idea: small circular cheese to fill in the cheese holes

...

Sweet digits lad

>eastern yuro upset he can't come claim bennies
How original

lefties are just conformists lad
did you actually expect any of them to genuinely be principled?

Yeah I can't believe they didn't side with Donald Trump and the National Front

epic meme XD! +1

Been offered a 30k job at 40 hours per week.

Only problem is it was offered to me by my older cousin who knows how much of a friendless loser I am. My worry is that I won't be able to perform the normie routine at my new job as he'll be my boss and just tell my co-workers how pathetic I am.

I need solutions to this problem, I can't converse with the normies without my façade.

A possible solution is spending, lets say, £3k of my new wage on people to take pictures with and upload on a facebook that I'll make at a later date. Whilst taking pictures with these normies I'll try and talk with them and get some of their normie stories so that I can plagiarise them and tell them to my workmates. If they don't offer up their stories I'll have to resort to paying them for their stories which I'll be able to afford but I'd rather not be too much out of pocket.

Any you lads have any better ideas?

There is a literal cheese wheel rolling event in the UK bro...

Bit upset are you Bulgaria? Funny isn't it?

if you think I'm reading all this you are having a LAUGH

What is this

t. tesco cashier

i'm going on vacation in Bulgaria this summer. on a scale from 1-10, how likely is my family and i to be attacked?

Nice

my irish gf keeps bullying me

What is love?

Your cousin must know how pathetic you are, and thus he expects you to continue this behavior, and thus be perfect for the job.

t. lidl cashier

They should. Radicals share a common goal of destroying the status quo

Sophie Turner (are sansa) got5 As at GCSE but only got a British in drama, whilst she was playing Sansa Stark.

I don't understand, how could she only get a B.

RMYT

meant for

Go to work and then slouch on the couch and watch tv

me and the bf

Just cheat on her then

What. The. Fuck.

She only got a B in dramz

>Bulgaria
1 unless you're a retard and you're going to Sunny Beach

Where are you going?

10. 11 if you have money on you.

Leftists do not share the same goals as Donald Trump and white nationalists

i mean little cheese to put into the cheese holes, like cheese plugs or something

Because there is theory shit to it, and she probably didn't care any longer as she already had a big part

Black gf is sending me cute texts

Might wife this one lads

t. the backwater turk and gypsy benefits claimants and thieves ex-soviet ottoman viyalet of bulgaria

But that would mean having half-caste kids

Are you sure

Zero... people will just think you work at the supermarket in the UK.

If you go to Greece, prepare to die to all the Russian tourists.

I went online to read the description and it looks like they're looking for my absolute opposite.

Think he's offering it to me out of sympathy or my aunt has begged him to give it to me. Not sure.

not trump but they do share goals with nationalists
both want the eu gone because neo libs and neo conservatives have a stranglehold on all the power

And one more thing, why haven't we seen her, Arya, Dany and the slightly butch one from the iron islands les out in a massive les scene?

can't remember which region.

>off meds
>depressed
>on meds
>feel nothing
is there a way to win

Is Bulgaria a third world country lads?

kill myself lol!!

>when there's bits in your water

re

Leftists don't want the EU gone

XD

epic Sup Forums knowledge XDD

t. double-digit IQ tesco cashier brexit supporter are nige

Would sgaf the one on the lef desu

only one cure 2bh

I am also confused to why this hasn't happened yet desu

Yeah but, his shitty HR copy pasta ad posts that online. He is a real dude inside the company, he knows a total shit like you is perfect. Most people get ahead via contacts and connections, not actual working ability.

social media generation are going to ruin the world

Did you want to work in the UK mr Bulgaria ha ha.

Technically second world

LOOK LADS HECSAID LORRY

JOLLY OLD CHAP HAHA THIS IS THE MOST BRITISH THING I'VE EVER READ IN MY ENTIRE LIFE HAHA

Fucking reddit REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>If they don't offer up their stories I'll have to resort to paying them for their stories which I'll be able to afford but I'd rather not be too much out of pocket.

Business idea: Sell NEETS my normie stories

radical leftists do unless they've been duped by memes
now stop replying to me unless youre actually going to make an argument

...

So the left must ignore the views of working class people and instead always take the opposite opinion of some television personality to spite him

Life before smartphones and stuff was boring, be glad of it

epic comment LOL screenshotting for reddit

lol

THE RACISTS. THE XENOPHOBES.