ITT: People who are both Computer Illiterate and Arrogant

Post here any stories about Computer Illiterate peeps, especially those who insist on being right. I got a p basic one to start.

>Be programmer/general tech person who has people message him on Hangouts and Discord for issues w/ Tech
>This woman insists on video calling, she takes 8yrs to say "i cant use this" and I oblige
>She begins talking, and oh boy deer lort her voice
>It gives me literal vertigo, it's so exaggerated and the consistent hum from when someone speak is something she emphasises
>She describes her problem, something you've heard 99999999 times
"I turn on the computer, nothing happens"
>I do the old trick
"Uhh you sure? There should be a light on the power button that turns white then green"
"No that's not what happened! Do you know what you're talking about!?" She yells
>Ask what happens then
"It goes green, then orange and then off"
>Tell her that that sounds like the monitor
"What the hell is a monitor? I don't think you're supposed to be doing this. I have a computer, not a lizard!"
>Didn't say the last 3 words but whatever
>I tell her it's the screen
"The screen is the computer screen! It's the computer! Right there!"
>Ask her if there's a box anywhere, maybe under her desk
"HOW DID YOU KNOW DO YOU SEE ME THROUGH MY CAMERA!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I'M CALLING THE COPS ON YOU KID"
>Tell her that's the computer, she contradicts that she thought I saw her by saying "No that's FOR the computer! It's the Modem!!!"
>Tell her no, it's where everything is kept and the screen is like a TV, I tell her to push the button on that and she gets angry saying I hacked her or something.

Sure y'all have better stories though, really wanna see something that'll blow some minds.

Other urls found in this thread:

reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

ITT: things that didn't happen

I just want someone to make smth up my dude. But no joke it happened, it's your choice to believe.

Uhm maybe this is why you don't have a gf sweetie

One of my friends asked me to fix their girlfriends computer and they brought the monitor, I believe him.

Yeh, a lot of pleb users don't use desktops and when they come in contact w/ one it's alien to them the concept of a screen not being the macine.

I blame apple and their monitor switch that turns on the tower too(or cube tb more precise)

I work in a call center for Apple Tech Support. So I suppose I have some stories if I ever remember them. Obviously all Apple and their shit ways of course.

But of course it's not compared to the people I work with. The Tech center hires bodies, almost anyone can get this job if they can read a fucking support article, I shit you not.

I blame iMacs and All in ones, but especially iMacs because they're both All-in-one and Applel.

Frick my dude, did someone try washing their Macbook off in the ocean?

Some quick common ones.

>Can't say "Web browser" have to say "Open the Internet."
>People legitimately do not know how to enter a website name, they google everything, it can take upwards of 6-7 minutes to direct them to a website.
>"I"VE BEEN HACKED" Every single time a pop-up like Mackeeper happens.
>"What's a hard drive" Whenever I talk about time machine.
>Can't say "Open the finder" have to say "Click the blue and white smiley face"

I could get specific

Not really, but people have tried spraying windex directly on the keyboard or the display, from the sound of it they aim the bottle on the full book and just let it rip.

this type of idiocy wasn't so bad ten years ago

>drive someone's car
>use parking brake when I park it
>get told off for using the parking brake because "it breaks the car, you should never use it unless you have to on a hill"
>they tell me they even asked two professional mechanics about it and they both said nobody uses the parking brake

I mis-read this and thought they brought the monitor AND the tower and thought "what's wrong with that - it's even better, you don't have to use your own monitor and you can make sure the problem isn't their own monitor being broken"

But then I realized you meant they ONLY brought the monitor and left the tower at home. Makes me wonder what I'm completely ignorant and retarded about.

You could say that about just about any point in time in the modern era.

>"What the hell is a monitor? I don't think you're supposed to be doing this. I have a computer, not a lizard!"

That was funny.

Check
[spoiler]reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/ [/spoiler]

Lot of great tales, just stay away from the cancerogenous comments

>links to reddit

fuck off to whatever shithole you crawled out of

I go to that Subreddit daily my dude, just wanna make a Sup Forums thread specific for this kinda thing so people don't have to worry about throw away accounts or crazy moderators or whatever.

>ITT; reddit fags

Jesus christ, I get peeved when people spray cloths w/ Windex and wipe the display. I use water and microfibers, don't wanna accidentally my screen.

What's wrong with Windex? I use paper towels and wet them to use them like a washcloth.

It seems like a stronger chemical meant for Windows. So if you buy a copy for your build, go ahead and spray it up w/ that Windex. Windex is the best Antivirus for Windows.

ITT: literal Reddit shows up with bullshit stories.

You know what, I don't even care anymore. I'm happy that I was around in the early and golden days. I'd rather have Plebbit fags than Sup Forums mouthbreathers posting on Sup Forums.

Parking brakes have the annoying habit of getting stuck and not releasing when they start getting older. I've known of at least 3 people who have had this happen to them. Calling a tow truck for something like this, will ruin your day.

I had to explain that CRTs are not the computer constantly back before laptops were common and before iMac.
But it was. Boomers were much much more computer illiterate 10 years ago, not to mention the greatest generation.
I miss glass screens

Idk what you seem angry about? I didn't insult Reddit at all, I'm saying there are benefits and reasons to make this thread on Sup Forums instead of Reddit. And nothing in this thread involes the topic of Sup Forums, a section I don't even go on much like other sections besides Sup Forums. Like legit no one was arguing w/ you.

There is "reddit" and there is "le reddit" user, that subreddit is probably one of the few with enough traffic to be usable, but low enough that retards stay away from it(to some degree)

What'd you do when the original iMac came out? Was that the day when it all started going downhill?

It was Steve Jobs' big moment. He had come full circle. Apple II's were in every school computer lab by the early 90s, and iMacs were taking over schools again around 2000. It was kitschy, but if you're looking for a culprit that marked the end of the good old days of computers, it was iTunes.

If you don't regularly use your parking brake, that can happen. Using it often keeps it from seizing up and if it seizes up, it's going to do it when you release the brake, not when you set it - there's more force applied to setting the brake than there is releasing it.

Is it even possible to buy a monitor with a glass screen nowadays?

They're so much better than the shitty plastic it isn't even funny

Dude there are plenty of Glossy-screen monitors, they have a benefit because they have better colour. I prefer Matte still though for a few reasons.

That was a CRT thing to have a thick glass that made a nice sound if you tapped it. You could use windex on them.

I'm mainly talking about on Laptops, Touchscreen ones tend to have a Glossy screen and when people spray Windex on a touchscreen it's (very good for cleaning the viruses off of your Windows machine) really bad, and it erodes the glass.

What do you mean glossy?

I'm talking about glass, not reflectivity. You can have a matte glass screen.

Ohhhh ok, yeh I assumed because Glossy screens tend to be more glass-likes but Mattes tend to be somewhat Plastic. What really makes them better, though?

Easier to clean, tougher, heavier, and clearer

I can break my current monitor by digging my fingernails into it; that shouldn't be possible and wouldn't with a glass screen. Plastic screens are especially bad when they start aging, as the plastic turns a yellowish color, which you don't really notice until you compare either with a new monitor or a monitor using a glass screen.

Wait I've been calling anything glass Glossy and plastic Matte for a while, I thought that the reflectivity is a cause of the materials. Jesus twice what have I been doing.

Do you know of any good Glass flatscreen displays? Might get one for my Sister or smth.

You can buy and replace the polarizing plastic on any LCD, although nobody does this because newer, cheaper and better LCDs keep coming out every year.

I've done that thing where you put the polarising filter into some glasses so I might as well be a pro. But yeh, thanks for teaching me some stuff, actually helpful.

I no shit did a support ticket for some lady who had no idea computers used electricity. She thought they ran on WiFi. OP's story is absolutely believable.

sufficiently powerful wifi could power stuff actually

which is really neat but incredibly inefficient

No way jesus christ. One of the worst ones I've heard.

I mean, depends on what you want to power
Most rfids are batteryless

Wait, how old was she? Like geez. I'm legitimately sick because of how badly that blew my mind. user you delivered a good 2 line story, great job.

that was a pretty terrible joke, user.

>it's going to seize up when you release the brake, not when you set it
>to seize up when you release the brake
>seize up
>when you
>release
>the brake

well done, faggot.

...what?

Do you not speak english or something? What are you even bitching about?

>people who are both vomputer illuterate and arrogant
People who cry how bad python is in Sup Forums

People who think theyre smart because they can write c++

^^^

that was a pretty rude comment, user.
Gotta hurt my feelings.

Not doing
>pic related

>Lady comes into shoppe
>"My external drive is shit, fix it"
>Try to ask her what the issue is
>Apparently it works sometimes but not others
>Have her plug it in to one of our machines
>We try to copy a file from it to one of our machines (with user permission)
>Transfer starts and slows to a crawl
>Lady rips out the external drive by the cord
>"I got this"
>Blows on the USB and plugs it back in

I have seen worse than that. It is actually very common that people think that the monitor is the computer. Unless it's family or in business (or even then) I believe MOST people will protest if you divert your attention from the monitor and start looking at the computer. People will go "Why are you looking at the box? It is the computer that don't work!"

>don't wanna accidentally my screen.

Well... I don't wanna accidentally my microfiber towel.

Nice Roy meme.

>Can't say "Open the finder" have to say "Click the blue and white smiley face"

my condolences

So she accidentally her whole Hard Drive? Geez, tried blowing on the thing for my NES when I accidentally it and it worked so I'd understand why she'd do it. (Dead memes aside, great story).

who needs this thread when they have 80% of Sup Forums's userbase

As an OS X user I can easily say that Linux is a viable alternative for those who dislike it.

I'm from the UK, we apply the parking brake all the time. First time I drove my wifes car in the US, I put the parking brake on when we stopped and she freaked out. Conversation pretty much mirrored what you said.

People deem the parking brake unnecessary because they have automatic transmissions, somehow it evolved into this it breaks the car nonsense.

Looks like we have a Java cuck here. I'll check back with you when people start writing Browsers and operating systems in Java. What the fuck are you Indian?

wtf python is easy as fuck.

In that person's defense, Apple doesn't inundate you with the names of crap as blatantly as Microsoft does. I don't think most Windows user could call out "explorer" as the file browser, either.

If you like MacOs's version Unix, give BSD a go.

>If you like MacOs's version Unix, give BSD a go.
I have, it's wonderful.

bsd sucks

Roasted.

I'm not a Windows user primarily, Debian, but yeh I'm sure most users can.

Why do you think that?

Traitor piece of shit, literal cuck.

Nah, reddit > Sup Forums
t. not him

t. Knew Sup Forums from Normiebook

Linux assholes
>Hurr Durr you cannot profit from software that you made
>Hurr Durr by installing niche software you win nsa(not counting nsa using linux)
>STOP USING WHAT I DON'T LIKE
>Companies are bad

microsoft isn't great or anything, but atleast the people with microsoft and linux certs shut the fuck up about the OS'es.

It's these assholes that say "you shouldn't profit from it" that make me anger

How much of a cuck do you have to be to prefer that cancer bringer of a website that brought hordes of normalfags here over Sup Forums?

Just get the fuck back, you don't fool anyone.

Nothing at all. I've been using paper towels and whatever glass cleaner is handy for 20 years.

You paid someone for the right to take a shitty standardized test?

What a cuck.

I don't use Reddit, you fucking gaymer faggot. We don't need your Sup Forums-tier cancer here.

Sup Forums is just a bunch of gaymur faggots too dumb for Sup Forums, reddit has an unlimited number of subreddits, to assume that none have users as competent as the average Sup Forums user is simply moronic.

At least the employer can be sure that the software is working as intended when you have certs.

>Not having the Govt pay for the Certs

sucks to be you

Are the parking brakes you talk about by chance the hand brake?

>works for government.
>requires IT cert for job.

Still a cuck.

I literally said nothing like that, user.

>quality assurance is cuck

then a cuck i am

>ITT: People who are both Computer Illiterate and Arrogant

>drive someone's car
>check engine light pops on
>look around for what the issue could be
>I had been driving for 5 minutes with the parking break on

I don't live in San Francisco why the fuck would you ever need a parking break

Cuck confirmed. Hey at least it's not tech support.

>drive someone's car
>dont notice the gears clicking and REEEEEEEEEEEing at you as the entire engine begs for death

not
my
fault

on a completely unrelated note fuck those guys that cant notice their turn signal beeping at them

Manual transmissions don't have a "Park" gear and drives of manual transmissions are used to not having it. Even with an automatic transmission it's advised to use the parking brake whenever parked on an incline.

And? What, the image? That was to mock the edgy kids who wanna be Haxors and install Ubuntu or smth. If anything I was mocking Linux users, I prefer the OS but I don't care what you use jesus christ my dude.

You're a retard

yeah idk what the OP was on about. So what if edgelord installs Linux? Sounds like a nice learning experience.

Yeh OP's a fricking Autist, hope he kills himself. He completely misunderstood what someone mean because he's too autistic to register basic social cues. What a degenerate, hope he seriously kills himself.

It's funny because I was saying "You're a retard" and that last part and I'm OP. I seriously completely missed some guy's point, so I call myself a retard.

>implying regular people know a monitor is a lizard
As dumb as you think they are in technology, they are in biology, literacy, etc.

>when people don't even understand their computer has a disk with files on it that they can view using a file explorer and they equate computer with internet

Handbrake commonly refers only to the lever ones, parking brakes can be lever(handbrake) or the new hip button faggotry. Good luck doing jturns with a button.

There are button parking brakes? the only ones I know of are actual hand brakes (the lever ones that you use your hand to activate, also commonly known as e-brakes or emergency brakes around here) and parking brakes such as the ones that are essentially a third pedal in automatic cars