/cum/ Canada, US and Mexico

My math teacher is a douchebag edition

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youtube.com/watch?v=ysmLA5TqbIY
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i like to eat a pound of ground beef because then my farts smell exactly like ground beef for the whole day

go play with guatemala, jose.

WHO ARE YOU VOTING FOR FAGG

Stein :^)

Say this in vocaroo

Hold the cold one like he hold a old gun
Like he hold the microphone and stole the show for fun
Or a foe for ransom, flows is handsome
O's in tandem, anthem, random, tantrum
Phantom of the Grand Ole Opry ask the dumb hottie
Masked pump shotty, somebody stop me
Hardly come sloppy on a retarded hard copy
After rockin' parties he departed in a jalopy
Watch the droptop papi
Known as the grimy limey, slimy - try me, blimey
Simply smashing in a fashion that's timely
Madvillain dashing in a beat-rhyme crime spree

LOL no

Remember to drink a glass of milk with every meal.

At what point should I give my asshole to a gay man so I can finally say I've had sex?

beer

t. dairy shill

Don't. That's gay

Almost immediately.

Nothing wrong with promoting a healthy diet of milk

I think you ought to take a girl to the movies and think about trying to hold her hand when you walk her home.

nobody desu

were living in a disgusting mess, let the heathens sort it out

kys weeaboo faggot

cute!

>trying to hold her hand on a first date

get a load of this guy

>he fell for the milk meme

Says the jewrean

just saw a pic of chris chans hatchet wound

How the fuck are you going to give relationship advice you fucking shut in?

w...what? hatchet wound?

literally me

kys

That is what happens when you go full sperg

where I want to see

>Tfw there are literal gays who've had more benis in vagina sex than me (which is 0 times)

how do you have a negative amount of sexual encounters

>he developed an untreated abscess-pit in his taint
>it's currently tunneling its way into his chest cavity

bagina
It was on Sup Forums's catalog, so it's probably deleted by now.

>w...what? hatchet wound?

Now boy I've been bringing girls to the malt shop longer than you've been bringing in the mail for your poor momma and that tone isn't appreciated.

why am I still here

I have returned from Cleveland. It was a shithole.

I'm sure it's much better now that you're gone

you're that ninja...

wtf is this?
I could have told you that for free
youtube.com/watch?v=ysmLA5TqbIY

breaking news

I saw the article but was too scared to click on the picture

Can't be any weirder than the pics of the guy with two cocks circulating around a while ago
Then again though he was clean and healthy and doctors were aware of his situation

You don't understand the meaning of horrible.
I'm literally the product of a lab experiment gone wrong. My father, whose existence has been classified, was a successful Eurasian-primal beast hybrid whose sperm was artificially inseminated into my Circassian mother during one of the late Soviet human-ape hybridization experiments. My father's birth was possible as a result of an international team of word-class scientists and researchers employed by Ilya Ivanovich Ivanov discovering fossilized blood and skin cells on the fragmentary thigh, arm and jawbones of an unknown and early hominin species that lived in the Caucuses region. This hominin's sequenced genome had an above-average correspondence to my grandmother's (an involuntary subject) DNA, which contained a phenotypic reproductive mutation with high germline mutation heritability- allowing for effective cross-fertilization by growing the hominin skin cells into mature sperm for artificial insemination.
I've escaped captivity as a result of the unforeseen inheritance of my mother's M1 and M3 gene networks. I've lived in obscurity for the majority of my days. I can do nothing else. Do you honestly believe you have it that bad?

I'll have you know my presence brought the quality of life from Somalia levels to at least Moldavia levels.

why does cross referencing this through google keep throwing up error messages

is this a pasta?

Nice try but circassia doesn't exist

what should I wank to?

That video will never not be good.

I think it's pretty funny that Browns fans call their stadium The Factory of Sadness.

3rd thread you see on /gif/

I saw the pictures of two cocks guy and thought it was weird but interesting. Seeing Chris chan's vag just made me feel physically ill, just imagine the smell.
fuuuuck

fits. I wonder what ford stadium is called.
hiyo sama

This?

I'd love to if my dick wasn't so fucking raw right now

Ford Stadium: Where GOAT come to never win a Super Bowl

I feel so bad for the 5 lions fans that exist to hear what you just said.

welp nvm

seems up your alley

...

Nothing can hurt them anymore.

LOOK AT THIS PIECE OF SHIT

LOOK AT IT

reeeeeeeeee

Isn't porn illegal in Korea?

I must warn you, dear reader, that the story you are about to read is not only a true story, but one which happens nearly every day in western Europe, and may shock and disturb you.

And so we find ourself with a Simon Cukkleby, a young English man and London native. Simon is a slight man, only a tiny 5'11.
"Almost 6 feet!" He would declare, his squeaky voice cracking with excitement.
His co-worker had to stifle their laughter at such absurdity. Simon knew, but he reminded himself that at least they tried to hold back.
That's what friends are for!, he thought.
He like to call his coworkers friends, though none of them shared the sentiment, only a handful even knew his name.
"Have a nice day everyone!" he squeaked as he walked out the door.
Only Mavis, the aging desk lady, offered him a cursory grunt as he shuffled out the door, his tiny little feet pittering along the floor as his little belly bounced up and down.
Simon was excited, today was a special day! Today Simon would vote to remain in the European Union!
" A proud European citizen!" He would chirp at anyone who listened.

It's pretty shitty that they haven't been able to fix turf problems. Maybe they should just go to artificial.

Simon was excited to share the moment with his wife of 3 years, Stephani,and his three step-children, as he voted by post.
"Some people have to do all the work to start a family, mine came pre-made!" He would squeak zealously, half to his friends, half to himself...
I may not be their real father, but their real fathers never got to change their diapers, or make them breakfast! He would think to himself with an almost forced enthusiasm.

Simon pulled up to his lovely home, excited to see how the young Syrian refugee,him and his wife had decided to house was doing. He felt a very special connection with Rasheed, on that bridge cultures and races, and delighted in conversing with him. Strangely , the large muscled man was not in the parlour playing the PlayStation 4 they had purchased him to make him feel at home. Simon was scratching his head, confused, confused when suddenly he heard a scream from upstairs! A scream that sounded like his wife!

Clinton, because I don't want a president who'll drop a nuke on anyone who offends his incredibly fragile ego

This is my time! he thought to himself, letting out a large amount of urine, which began to leak from his trousers.
He steeled himself and began to stumble slowly up the stairs, his legs like jelly. The sound of the screaming was from his wife's bedroom(he slept on the couch As she felt unsafe with a man in her bed) As he cracked the door open and peeked inside, he felt his heart drop like a stone, farther down than the urine dripping from his soiled trousers.
On the bed was his wife, eyes shut in absolute ecstasy, not screaming, but moaning in pleasure, moaning that Simon had never heard in his life. On top of her was what appeared to be Rasheed, his tight buttocks bouncing wildly.
"S-stop that..." Simon whimpered weakly, part horrified, part entranced as Rasheeds 12 inch brown log penetrated his wife.
Neither of them heard a thing as they were inraptured in dirty, passionate sex, something Simon would never experience first-hand.
Then something odd happened. Simon found his hands in his trousers, hand over his tiny, tiny micropenis. He held the pathetic little thing between thumb and forefinger, stroking it. A drop of cum, roughly the size of the tears streaming from his eyes, joined the urine on his now filthy trousers.
He looked up, and saw his wife and Rasheed had not noticed a thing, still in a state of deep intimacy that he could not hope to comprehend. He closed the door slowly, and shuffled down the stairs. He still had his vote to cast, after all, and the children would be home soon, and hungry...

What I have just described, dear reader, is not a unique or odd situation. Though differing slightly, this is simply the day of an average European. So next time you post "I'm no cuck!" remember that Simon had posted the very same thing the night before.

That's like half a stadium

CTR needs to leave.

I just shit my pants for the fourth time today

This

This desu. I don't want trump in charge of the us military, even if he does trigger the faggot leftists hilariously.

Fuck off gay retard

Hilary Clinton is responsible for the unrest in the middle east. It's fucking batty that people think Trump would be worse.

that entire flat wall is VIP boxes for silicon valley faggots.

Fucking NOSEBLEEDS are 100 bucks

was wearing a giants hat at the grocery store earlier and a retarded man giving out samples said "hey nice hat" and I was like yeah thanks. He continued to lecture me on candle stick for like 5 minutes until I walked away while he was still talking

>implying
Wow
You are really more stupider than I first thought
Thanks for ruining America you retard

...

Welp time to be a raiders fan

just kill me now. A dmca notice came in the mail about some porn I was torrenting and my ultra christian parents found it. I'm so fucking embarrassed. they want to send me to bible study now

lol btfo

Never

that's what you get

Legit?

top kek
what was the title of the porn that they read? I hope it was something really fucked.

>he torrents porn in 2016
>dmca notice so it was western porn
>he torrents western porn
>he lives with his parents
>he lives with his super Christian parents

Looooooool
What porn was it?
Probably some bbw interracial you cuck

>this is what Clintoncucks believe

never got the appeal of porn desu

are you WOKE, /cum/?
K E M E T I C L E G A C Y

Nobody this time

...

ITS LIKE IM WEARING NOTHING AT ALL

NOTHING AT ALL

good thing it doesn't matter who I vote for since I live in California.

welp im going to bed good night everyone

except weebs

fuck I gotta watch the classic simpsons seasons again

I'm surprised they still let you cast a pretend vote in Commiefornia

REEE FUCK YOU IT WAS INDEED BLACKED SHIT. AND THEY SAW

couple of (You)'s pls and Ill disappear for a month or whatever again pls

I've never played a tabletop rpg and I'm not sure I fully grasp how the heck you play them since I'm not a super creative person but I still would really like to give it a go but I don't really have the people to play them with

why is life so hard

Eh alright. Night, buddy. Keep your head up.

haha another monday another workday

they are too expensive as a hobby honestly
just play rts games or wargames