ITT: Stupidest things you've heard people say

Just anything stupid about tech, I mean really stupid. Even thing's you've said yourself.

my roommate's iPhone had touch disease.

he kept slapping it like it'll go back to normal that way lol.

>you have to hold down the turn off button

>The touchscreen is broken!
From the 9y/o I was babysitting, he kept using my desktop when I was trying to work and wouldn't stop touching my monitors. He also was insisting that the box (PC) was for the computer and wasn't the computer itself and was mind boggled by me having 3 "Computers" and what I did w/ them. He probably thought it was a tablet because there are 2 verticals but still.

>user, your games are slowing down the computer!

don't you fucking dare you motherfucker

Worked with old TVs.

Just scream about millennials and ``back in my day'' and go on rambling about dial-up every time he says something stupid, then he'll understand how cancerous complaining about generations is.

I swear the things some people download is like when Joel is doing a destruction, I guess it's vice-versa but still. It's not my "Cool, spicy toolbars" or "Free adobe photoshop" or "Win a free iPad" (If I was given a free iPad I'd throw it in a lake) no it's your gidya vaemz and whatever that "File explorer" is.

How the fuck do so many normal, seemingly intelligent people go into full retard mode when they're faced with a computer. I'll never understand that.

Dude I'm 13, I'm not slandering a 9y/o I'm just elitist because at his age my dad had taught me Python and I built my first PC. Not everyone has the privilege of having a father like mine, but again, I'm not insulting the kid.

>Dude I'm 13

holy fuck

Probably a russian room mate

What's it like getting slammed in the boi pussy by daddy?

Yeh dood im 13 u beter wach out, i kno pie thong. But sorry that was raw cringe.

B&

>Dude I'm 13,

not sure how he feels about it, but is bretty good for ol' dad

Stupidest thing I've seen is someone admitting to being underage on Sup Forums in a thread about stupidest things people say.

u wil nebr kach meee, i went in2 in cog neat-O

It's not too late for you leave this website forever

Enjoy your 5 year ban my dude

Probably the stupidest thing I've seen too, but I did include "things you've said yourself" in my post so I can tell the story of when I did that.

>Dude I'm 13

Actually I'm 4 months old I lied.

...

Legit have no idea what I was thinking there, like "this guy's calling me old I'll prove him wrong", like legit that tops anything someone will post in this thread.

1
2
3 4

>legit
>like
I would never be your friend.

1
2 4
3

...

...

He really missed out I'm sure

that's not how it works usually you just get like about a week ban

it's aight f.a.m I've done it before :^)

Kek, is this from college?

My little dude, please, do yourself a favor and leave.

>Dude I'm 13
MODS

>son your computer games (the sims) you bought from best buy are viruses slowing down my computer!

Post boi pucci plz

>(insert literally anything here) is a Chinese botnet!

>How does the price per kg matter if you're not buying a whole kilogram?
And then he went to study economy. It boggled my mind that I had to explain the definition of value to him when we were ~16.

>13 and on Sup Forums
>good parenthood

pick one

World of Warcraft was the first MMO ever made

>I'm 13
That explains the current state of Sup Forums, it's filled with underage retards.

>be lowly network technician in company's R&D facility
>systems security and network security experts on-site all working days
>do whatever either of those cunts deem me worthy of
>mostly replacing switches when they crap out and walking new staff through how things work here
>they literally have their own in-house distro
>bossman calls me in one day: 'user go check on Chad Normiecuck on the second floor, his station is up on my end but it hasn't been pulling any traffic in two days and he hasn't reported anything'
>yes massa
>fiveminuteslater.mpeg4
>Chad my dude what are yo-
>mfw there's a chinkshit 4G LTE router on his desk
>mfw the wifi is turned on as per factory settings, which he hasn't touched
>mfw i know the building has its own cell tower
>mfw he explained that he wasn't given enough bandwidth to work with so he "bought his own internet" that he takes to and from work
>mfw i had to explain to my boss that Chad brought a networked tumor into the building and was using it to send and receive research material for two days

People who defend Elon "Venture Capital" Musk.

>"back when i was his age..."
>4 years difference
breh.

>Dude I'm 13

Yeh I regret lmao.

>coloured
disgusting

Its truly amazing. Where I work, there are people who got computer science degrees or some other phd from back in the day, and they have no fucking clue how to fill out an online form.

It's called percussive tech support

i know it as percussive maintenance (as opposed to preventative maintenance)

Do you have any idea how many people don't know what a "web browser" is?

MODS MODS MODS

4 years is half of his life if you count out the years he wasn't able to form sentences.

about 350

Yeh I wish people could get over it, it was stupid ik but I come on Sup Forums everyday (Sup Forums exclusively) because I love being able to get people to talk about a topic w/ no bias on who get's spolighted and I love talking about tech, it's a good site. Sup Forums is where I can be autistically-rigid and talk about tech as much as I want.

>he was born in 2004
>I started coming here when he was 5

Hooo boy.

Everyone's hurting my feelings ;_; Sup Forums is supposed to be safe space.

Jeez that's crazy, my brother (since I'm giving out Ages here, he's 20) actually browsed Sup Forums a lot and introduced me to the site (as in, read funny posts to me) when I was around 5, I'm glad I didn't end up like my friends calling Sup Forums a "virus" or "a massive hategroup full of Nazi's".

>dude I'm 13

MODS MODS MODS

>Meet some guy on a video game(red flag)
>I'm new to the game so I was getting mentored by a person who has been playing for several years
>Compliment him on his ability to play
>guy tells me that he is a genius who was able to get placed in a advanced program at his school
>tells me he did some advanced robotics projects where he programmed micro controllers when he was 13 years old
>"I hate school because I learn everything in 1/10th of the time and i'm bored the rest of the time"

>ask him what he does for a living: "I'm I pizza delivery guy"
>as him why he does not do something better: "Dude I get like 80$ in tips in a day"

>Suspend my disbelief, tell him i'm a programmer and I'm working with the API for the game to make a program, show him my code and ask him if he would be interested in working with it

>Full spaghetti drop: "Ya, I know this, its Python. I am a C# guy myself, I don't want to work with Python I'm more in my element with C#. I made a video game with C# using Unity a few years ago you know."
>Spends the next two hours trying to prove that he knows something when he clearly does not

Dude, I'm 13 and what is this?

> UC
> U
Gee I wonder.

>Be me
>Be 13
>Like, legit, 13
>Dude I'm 13

I mean, this is from my dad's boss, so I didn't hear it, but he basically said he wanted to be able to know my dad's password for work. My dad works in IT. He had to tell HR to explain to him why that is a no-no. And then he asked again.

My dad does say this is like, the dumbest boss he's had.

>started using Sup Forums 2009

disgusting newfag please leave, 2003 users only plz

"macs does not get viruses"

Password for personal accounts?

> macs does
> plurals does
Well, that does sound pretty dumb desu senpai.

>I thought that it was correct english because I'm a hopeless chink

> hopeless chink
Nah man, you're fine. You speak better than some of the 'English' speakers around here.

"If Macs are so shitty why does every computer have a MAC address?"

>Dude I'm 13
The state of Sup Forums

>bool is 1bit

All these chumps foiled by a good bait.

"Dude I'm 13" is still the worst english ever uttered on this site but thanks still my dude.

>mother gets the automagic Windows 10 upgrade and calls me crying
>tell her to leave it and I'll help her go back to 7 later
>just outright unplug her computer and then complains it doesn't work anymore
Setting up her new one, I kept trying to find out her email provider to help her log in to it and she just kept yelling "no I use the one on the desktop". Then she got mad that they wouldn't let her log in when she didn't know her password or security answers.

Holy fuck I can't believe everybody took this retarded bait