Are there any good coffee machines that aren’t botnets?

Are there any good coffee machines that aren’t botnets?

Yes. A french press and an electric kettle you stupid cunt.

...

Literally shit tier. Unless you enjoy burnt coffee with sand at the bottom. On par with a percolators and mcdicks. You probably enjoy Coors lite™.

If your espresso machine is botnet, then pour-over nigger.

Well, seeing as none of them have internet connectivity, or even wireless technology, I don't see how they could be..
They don't even have input besides buttons and switches, so you can't airgap them either.

They're not better or worse, just different.
I grind my coffee so that I don't get mud from my moka, and if you take it off the heat quickly, it doesn't burn.

>when there's a management engine in your Coffee Percolation Unit

>none
Yea theres certainly a coffee maker with internet by now.

None that any sane person would actually buy, right?
Right?

>he didn't build his own from raw copper, steel, and silicon

One of these and a filter paper is good. Maybe not the best autissimo-tier coffee ever but 100% botnet-free

>Not using an Enterprise OSGi-containerized Java machine whose convoluted OO logic drove 4 developers to suicide just before they would've retired to prepare your coffee every morning
Are you guys even Professional?

>electric kettle

How do I find a non botnet version?

>when your coffee doesn't compile because you forgot to null-terminate the kettle

...

>he doesn't know how to brew good moka or french press coffee
Sad!

...

This on a gas stove

Plus aesthetic.

Moccamaster

>brewing coffee in a glass pot.

Time to tighten that noose

How about you stop drinking addictive, bullshit, hot bean drink, and drink some fucking water. Maybe you'll stop being an unhealthy piece of shit, then, and your body can stop relying on fucking caffeine for stimulus to do things.

Better that than facebook

Was about to post this.

t. soyboy

tits or gtfo

W E W LADDIE