Resume Critique

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github.com/DoxasticFox
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

I like it, you're hired

>well qualified and experiences
>neet.jpg

It's bad. Like really bad.

>justified text
It looks horrible, just left align.

jpg =/= png

Leverage indentation and font formatting to make it more clear what you're discussing.
Use bullet points.
What is "a HD in my capstone unit"? Skip that shit and just talk about the project itself.
>Notable coursework
Change it to "Educational focus"
>Operating systems
>All of them!
Be specific. What versions? What distros? What frameworks? Server 2k12? 2k3? 2k8? Exchange? SharePoint? Apache? Samba? SCVVM? ESXi? Active Directory? Slackware, debian, arch? What ABOUT OSX do you know?
>Programs
>git, vim, zsh
Literally don't bother listing those, you're expected to know them like the back of your hand. Specify industry-wide tooling or frameworks like TFS, Jira, Jenkins, build servers, that kind of thing.
>Proficient in: ... HTML, CSS
What kind of CSS framework? SASS? Drop HTML, nobody cares that you can format a table by hand.

6/10 would give you a phone interview for an entry level position.

>Please do not request references
Oh son.

Looks good brah

>Please do request references
Talk to some professors or past coworkers or even other students you've worked with and list them. This is the most annoying part about interviewing people, I already have to sort through 30 of these things and figure out your awful formatting. I don't want to have to give you a call, talk to you for 15 minutes, then wait another 3 weeks for you to find references and hope they don't get lost in my inbox.

>Sydney
dropped

>Christian Nassif

github.com/DoxasticFox

nice name

stupid faggot

Brian?

GNU+Linux

daamn nigga got wide shoulders

Where the fuck is your industry experience? Did you seriously graduate from university without interning or co-oping even once?

Jesus.

You never put references on your resume, how can you be in a position to decide who gets hired and not already know that

Use fixedsys font

It's 2018 senpai developers dont need work experience, remember? 400k starting silicon valley etc

>You never put references on your resume
You do when the employer explicitly requests it, which is 90% of the time.
We require at least three, so every time we see "Available on request" we know you didn't read anything and just blindly sent us a resume.

back in a swing of things tell me whats good

11/10 hired on the spot

That's different, you never mentioned asking for references in the first place.

In that case yes I agree completely, it's retarded to not include them as is any other monumental blunder most applicants seem to make on initial application.

>You never put references on your resume
>In that case yes
Which is it?

are you fucking slow cunt you provide references but they would be in a separate document, why would you shit up your resume with contact information when it's there to showcase your experience

Do you have Aspergers?
If they explicitly ask for references, then obviously give them.
In any other case, when you are asked for a CV and cover letter, don't put them.

LaTeX/10

>Too much padding.
>Font size too small.
>Difficult to skim.

I'd give it a 5/10. Needs some work.

>but they would be in a separate document
With a resume like that? Not even close, nigger. Multi-page resumes are acceptable when you've got years of experience, not as a fresh grad.

>Never do it!
>Except when you do!
Ok

Working at In██████ was experience in industry. Is that unclear in the resume, or are you saying something else?

Also, I still haven't really graduated yet. I've only qualified to graduate.

>the word 'never' always literally means absolutely never
>being this autistic

>Not admitting to being literally wrong
Own up faggot.

>Please do request references
remove "do" you gigantic queer

I'm not the same person who made the original comment. It's just frustrating to read someone act like a 5 year old deliberately misinterpreting an obvious statement to be smart.
You honestly think someone would say 'never include your references, EVEN if the company explicitly asks you to supply them'?
Clearly that's a circumstance where you would include them, so why even waste energy making a point about it?
Like yeah mate, even if the employer says 'I know it's not the norm to include all your references on your CV but I'd still like you to do it anyway', STILL don't do it, because you heard the Sup Forums poster, he said the word 'never'! That's a universally binding absolute and has literally no limitations or exceptions!
Use common sense, bloody hell.

>deliberately misinterpreting
I wasn't aware that the phrase "never list references" meant "list them sometimes lol!"
How about you think for 3 nanoseconds before writing garbage that only you understand the implied context of? Never means never.

>HTTP requests in telnet
Babby shit.

How is this?

Again, I didn't write the comment. I'm a different person who just thinks you're being silly.
If you have issues detecting subtlety in human speech, you take people's word literally and become this frustrated when things change, or don't like it when there are caveats in what you thought was an absolute, you may have autism. I'm not even doing a meme. Most adults (assuming you're an adult?) wouldn't have such a big issue in this situation.
Go and speak to a mental health professional.

the true hermit neet dropout's cv is just a brainstorm to cover for his inadequate credentials.

>Literally don't bother listing those, you're expected to know them like the back of your hand.
you're going against conventional wisdom here. most programming jobs i see say "must be experienced with git" or subversion or whatever, so to not at least personalize your cv with a mention of git where applicable is to cripple your chances of making it through hr screening. an employer doesn't know anything about you other than what you disclose. if anything, there is an assumption that all prospective employees are clueless and unsuitable.

wow writing a resume like this sounds like a nightmare

I don't think I'll ever have a real job to be honest. I have nothing notable about me anyway but this resume writing is such a headache.

just network bro

dude you may genuinely have autism

best advice I can give is to update it little and often. Any time you become competent in a new technology or vendor then check your resume and see if you can add that to it

"never list references" seems pretty emphatic to me

i don't think I'll ever do that. None of the people who are going places would ever have a use for me

You all list like 50 programming languages I have maybe 1 that has industry purpose and I am complete ass at programming anyway

I don't have a resume

not bad because of credentials
just use one font and only one font
save the leet hakorz shit for the interview

little
and
OFTEN

Take a template, fill it up.

Yeah I don' tknow how. I don't have any templates

(replying to both)
I agree with you on git, but vim/zsh are just personal preferences and are not relevant

Do you have internet access? Can you type "google.com" into your address bar? Perhaps you can ask your family and friends for some encouragement and support, so that you can scrounge enough courage to type "resume template" into google. After that, you can make a kickstarter or a gofundme to get enough funds to enable you to click and save one of the millions of templates available for free online.

And stop being an wussy.

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that's true actually, and i don't even use vim at the moment. mentioning it on the cv is just noise.

ok, and it turned out to have exceptions. does that make things difficult for you?

no

if you give someone emphatic advice, don't be surprised when they take it seriously. is this hard for you?

>experience collaborating on code, sound effects, textures and models
>computer assembly

These are good. If you can give specific examples that'd be even better.

but incomplete projects shame me

>A HD
>Random bolding to show off you're smrt
>Qualified and experienced
>Page views =/= unique visitors
Experience section should also be very clearly laid out, not just 4 different paragraphs that may or may not be the same thing.
Also remove those 3 from programs, really uneccesary and would confuse an HR rep.
Also add the timeframes you were receiving education (20xx - 20xx)

Otherwise it's not the worst I've ever seen.
Im the tech guy at an IT firm who does interviews with potential new hires.
Winning over a fellow techie is easy, you'll do that in the interview. Winning over HR is how you get jobs.

>is this hard for you?
>other people acted condescendingly over my autism and it made me feel bad, so i'm going to do the same thing to the next person
You made a big deal out of a very minor misinterpretation that most people wouldn't make, and are now sperging out trying to defend yourself. Stop arguing about it

The interviewers are probably going to ask you about them at some point, so you should to plan what you'll tell them if the incomplete projects come up. Maybe you implemented some well-known algorithms, or you're proud of the way you formatted or commented your code. Even small things make you competitive at the entry level.

>someone with no experience
>work experience section is the bottom half of the page
What can you expect out of women

Gather 'round, kiddos. If ATS doesn't chuck your resume, then HR will chuck it after skimming through it in less than 5 seconds. "It's all about who you know" is not a meme. Neets need not apply.

>social media
kek as if I'm going to send a potential employer links to my shit when it's twitter.com/niggerkiller666 and instagram.com/niggerkiller666

>>Random bolding to show off you're smrt
I don't like the bolding either. It's only there because I couldn't figure out how to direct the reader's eyes well without changing the layout entirely.

Does it make you imagine me as a braggart IRL?

>>Page views =/= unique visitors
Why would you give the smaller number in a dick measuring contest?

>Also remove those 3 from programs, really uneccesary and would confuse an HR rep.
Arguably a good thing. In my current job the developers were the ones to vet the resumes and ask me for an interview. I'd rather work at a place where the people who I'll work with are the ones who approved of me.

>Also add the timeframes you were receiving education (20xx - 20xx)
What would you suggest for someone who completed a 4-year degree in 8 years? inb4 "an hero"

>LaTeX

Really screams flaming homoseuxal academic nigger

Make it "references available upon request". Or at least remove "do". Especially because of the bold text it reads as "do not" at a glance.

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Yo shithead! Resume better!

learn to read

I've interviewed and read more resumes then I can count so I'm going to drop some knowledge bombs for you. I'm also assuming you want a job as a programmer.
1) I'd ask you what you meant by automating development and really go in depth on it since you claimed it had such a huge impact on your project. If you lie about anything, it will be caught and you'll be fucked.
2) If you automated development, I could give a fuck about "hand written lines of code." Instead, you should say you performed extensive refactoring to simplify the code base for cleaner and more maintainable code. You can go into XSL/XSLT a bit and how you did it with Python after that.
3) Developing your own unit testing framework is probably not something to be proud of. I would ask you why you chose to write your own instead of using one of the thousand different open source and heavily used frameworks out there. Be prepared to justify this with a good answer.
4) Mentioning about developing a website is good for entry level. Be prepared to talk about it. I like to test people on how/why they approached something -- I would ask you why you went with jQuery. It's perfectly fine, but I like to hear you did some research, comparative analysis, etc. I don't like hearing a "it's whats popular!"
5) I would not bold the page view count. If you do, be prepared to answer how you're counting page views since web crawlers probably would generate all 40k of that if you're just counting hits and not actual engagement.
6) I would remove the entire thing about HD capstone work. It's like when I was fresh out of college and put about how I worked with BOCHS -- it's neat for college but it's not applicable at all to 99% of paying jobs out there.
7) For OS, just put Windows, Mac OS X, Linux. Macintosh is not an OS, it's a brand of computer.
8) In your programs section, I would remove zsh and vim. All recruiters care about is keywords -- so you need shit like Microsoft Office, Git, Bitbucket, Github, etc.

continuing: overall I think your resume is good for a junior applicant. I came off as pretty critical on some things but you never know the kind of fuckwit who is going to be reading your resume or interviewing you. I had a senior level interview I did about 8 years ago (I am an oldfag) where I got asked bullshit like how would I design a manhole cover. I've had some interviews where the guy interviewing me just talks about his kids and the health problems his parents are dealing with. The biggest piece of advice I can impart is:
1) never lie on your resume
2) if it's on your resume, make sure you can talk about it intelligently.

I can't tell you how many poo's resumes I've read who put all kinds of crap on it then I get into the interview and I ask them something simple like "what's the difference between a hashmap and a hashset in java?" and I get a completely blank stare. This is for someone who claims to have had 8 years experience in Java. I then ask what kind of collections have you used in Java and what situation did you use them in and why they chose it. I get more blank stares. I then ask how does a List work in Java and a lot of the time I get a "Yes, it's good to use ArrayList!". Don't be that poo and you'll land a job easy.

Never tell anyone how much you make. Even if they ask, bullshit around the question.

>I've interviewed and read more resumes then I can count
And yet you make stupid spelling mistakes in your posts and don't care enough to proof-read them.

Can you wear a dress to work and pretend to use a wheelchair? You'll fix all out diversity issues in one hire. Welcome aboard!

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Why?

How's this?

oh boy...

>Never tell anyone how much you make. Even if they ask, bullshit around the question.
This is good advice for silly little cucks who want to give employees an economic advantage

> GNU/Linux
Hired.

>you should say you performed extensive refactoring to simplify the code base for cleaner and more maintainable code.
I wish I could. I was using an in-house API that was poorly designed and lacked features. You couldn't define objects and you had to use `eval` in places where any sane developer would use Callable.run().

How can I put this on my resume and make it sound good? Is it even a good idea to explain this in the interview? I don't want to shit on previous employers.

>6) I would remove the entire thing about HD capstone work. It's like when I was fresh out of college and put about how I worked with BOCHS -- it's neat for college but it's not applicable at all to 99% of paying jobs out there.
And replace it with something? The resume would look bare without it but I don't know what else I could mention.

>you never know the kind of fuckwit who is going to be reading your resume
>I got asked bullshit like how would I design a manhole cover
Don't you think it's in my best interests to avoid those employers?

Thanks for these comments, btw. They're the most well thought out ones ITT.

Is this some predictive text ?

>>Please do not request references
as a HRfag this had me fucking dead
kudos illiterate user

They'll just pay you what you made before even if they were willing to pay more and even if they are paying more to others who do the same thing. Once you start 10k lower than everyone else, you're fucked. If you state anything, research the salary range for that job in your area, then answer the questions with "based on my research, for this job and my qualifications are" then state between 3/4 and fully the top of the range. They may negotiate you down to what they're willing to pay but it ensures you aren't the chump.

Nope. Someone wrote this.

Aw man, seeing this makes me feel pretty worthless. I thought I was okay with my certs and planning for a software engineering degree, but I'm too fucking retarded to compete with this. Should I just end it now guys?

>Latex
reported to Google for alt-right association

If your parents aren't paying for it, get out and go do something else.

No. Take a walk outside to clear your head and ease your anxiety. Work on improving yourself and step on people to accompliah your goals.

What did he mean by this?

So I know this isn't big boy IT but I did three years of leading a software implementation team traveling three weeks at a time to sites where we designed the training, facilitated the training at tech centers that we set up with train copies of the live database, processed retail older conversion to the new system, ran an in market support, trained leadership and operations, and I pretty much hired for, trained, and ran that team that had rentals cars, hotel rooms, expense accounts etc. and were trusted with a conversion that, if it went sideways would leave the company unable to open it's retail stores. Rinse and repeated this every month, three week rollouts. I know very little about tech in general and am lost in most of what's talked about here but I can manage people, get the answers and training needed, and ensure this shit goes smooth. Is there any place for me in Tech or was that a unicorn job and I might as well apply to manage a grocery store now?

AMA if I didn't explain it clearly. Reason I ask is I'm looking now and about to put together a resume and have no idea how useful or useless I am in the tech industry. This is what happens when you Forest Gump your way into weird jobs.

>do not ask for references
getthefuckout

New grad, job hunting right now. This resume is already getting me a few callbacks, but it can always be better. Thinking about explicitly listing technologies used with each project/work experience.

Specify which experience goes to what position.
If you're going to claim 6-fold LOC reduction, mention the order of magnitude of LOC. If you reduced 12 lines to 2, that doesn't mean much.
>wrote code
It would be a disappointment if you didn't wrote code. It's redundant since you mention all the skills that matter in your Computer Languages section anyways.
Merge all your skills into one section, you're wasting space.
Bolding is visual noise; just make every word count.

>Perfect command of English
This is a given, and a space-waster.
>experience collaborating on code
On which specific project?
>sound effects, textures, models, music production, soldering
Unless you actually want to be hired for doing these, take them off.
>touch typing
God forbid I hire a chicken pecker. If I'm hiring, I don't give a shit as long as your code is clean and efficient.
Nice skills, but where's the experience? Put some project highlights, because I don't have time to go to your Github and sort out which of your repositories actually have your code, and which are random forks.

Honestly pretty hard to read. No one likes reading straight bullet points. Cut it up into sections with concrete projects or roles.
Make your skills easier to parse, your wording across the section is inconsistent.
Would be nice to hear more about your web app business, it seems more interesting than anything else on your resume.
And no one cares that you're an Eagle Scout.

I'm a poorfag making do with a full time non-tech job while I wait for a new semester, so I guess I'll just go for a sysadmin route at best...
Thanks man. I'm just worried I'll let everything pass me by and be a brainlet forever. I have a cousin that has a kickass embedded systems dev job and he's my age, but here I am going nowhere fast.

again, discarding conventional wisdom

This is very good. I would suggest you take your skills section and put it higher, instead of the bottom right corner.

Holy crap. You're the guy who made that vim plugin that I'm pretty sure you don't want me to mention by name. My resume got critiqued by royalty.

hi Ethan Chan I big fan