EVERYONE IS FUCKED!

It was good to meet you, friends!

@

security.googleblog.com/2018/01/todays-cpu-vulnerability-what-you-need.html

Other urls found in this thread:

twitter.com/ryanshrout/status/948683677244018689
youtube.com/watch?v=bReA1dvGJ6Y
mobile.twitter.com/misc0110/status/948706387491786752
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

well what the fugg

>including those from AMD, ARM, and Intel

>Putting AMD first and Intel last
>ARM is a CPU manufacturer

nope

Install uMatrix and block javascript from reading your passwords from memory

AMD BTFO ONCE AGAIN

>not even one mention of ryzen, let alone an exploitation test on it
Really makes you think

Apple wins

Fake news

here is my statement: I fucked your mom, you cumskin cracker

Intel marketing at work

Yep. They only got it working on FX.

time to upgrade then

Intel literally released the same statement "lmao no we fine". Why would the pajeets have more credibility right now?

AMD's affected CPUs are ARM, not their relevant stuff.

Because the Google report said AMD aren't affected.

twitter.com/ryanshrout/status/948683677244018689

because the jewgle testers who actually found this shit could hardly get it to work on AMD

>Google says issue doesn't affect AMD
>Google says issue affects AMD
Thanks Google.

Does this mean I should buy amd stock?

Spectre affects AMD. Intel is fucked by meltdown and spectre.

alphabetical order

yes

Spectre was announced at the same time just to distract people from Intel's blunder, Spectre doesn't seem to be as dangerous as Meltdown and the fix doesn't impact performance.

Spectre affects everyone but is harder to exploit.
Meltdown is intel only.

What fucking fix?

WHAT NO AMD WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SECURE

...

Spectre (variant 2) is worse because it's unfixable except with a hardware redesign and affects every chip since the early 90s.
But it's much harder to execute and can be mitigated.

Spectre (variant 1) is easily patchable with no performance issues

Meltdown (variant 3) is intel only and has the huge performance hit.

AMD's ARM CPUs are affected, not their x86 CPUs.

That's the reason for the embargo, jewtel were paying jewgle to try and implicate AMD before making it public.

only if you using FX pro, ryzen still comfy

?

WAIT WHAT HOW THIS THIS HAPPENING

NOOOOO

>AMD is also affected
>on their mobile bulldozer
nigga what?

Ryzen is not affected:
AMD CPUs tested by Google:
AMD FX(tm)-8320 Eight-Core Processor (called "AMD FX CPU" in the rest of this document)
AMD PRO A8-9600 R7, 10 COMPUTE CORES 4C+6G (called "AMD PRO CPU" in the rest of this document)

Nice try Intel root kit users.

>Also to clarify, the Google team only demonstrated functional exploit PoC on FX CPUs (FX8320 & A-10), not Zen. Zen AFAIK is immune to all 3 exploits.

AMD affected by one bug, along with intel and arm. And even then you need non standard config on arm or AMD chips for it to work.
Intel have two, including the kernel memory one which is worse.

>no AMD ZEN CPU

WE'RE SAFE BOYS

What a fucking pain in the ass developing sidechannel attacks must be. Such precise timing required and even then it only works one out of X times, so you have to build additional tools to repeat your attacks in some reliable manner.

Exploit development is truly the most autistic of all IT related disciplines.

Oh shit theres a 8320e in my old disassembled rig sitting in the garage. Is it going to explode and kill me?

>Implying Intel PR didn't pay Google bloggers to report that AMD is also affected by the vulnerabilities.
Yes Goy everyone is affected, don't worry keep buying Intel

people over at plebbit are saying it was even tested on Ryzen yet.

I just don't know anymore.

WHAT IF
All these vulnerabilities were known all along by triple letter agencies.
WHAT IF
These agencies actually requested AMD and intel to implement these flaws?

Brainlet here, i have a ryzen cpu, and if ryzen isnt affected and i got that windows update how will this update affect me?

...

You got that backwards brah.
All Apple machines use vulnerable Intel chips

>WHAT IF
Frog, the Isreali's have probably been using this for years, got caught by a Nation State like Russia or China, and are now scrambling to patch it before it gets used on their ass's. There's way more to this than meets the eye. This whole Spectre thing getting thrown out there suddenly, seems really fishy.

am my pc gonna die

They got meltdown to read at 500kb/s

BTFO!!!!!!!!!!! I love this nigger!

The NSA has been streaming your memory dumps straight to their servers for years user.

...

...

>AMD is not susceptible to *all* three variants
Spot the wiggle word.
>near zero risk to AMD processors *at this time*
Yes, because there is no published POC yet.

They likely were. Just like those leaks for winshit the last few years, known bugs for decades don't get patched because someone said 'don't' who belonged to an acronym and winshit obliged. It's not like spy agencies are going to tell the makers to fix their shit when they want to abuse the holes themselves. Likely told them to add special backdoors as well.

When I was a kid (late 80s/early90s) I thought the alphabet agencies must have put little bugs in mice and keyboards to track all user inputs into home computers, and then phone home, or perhaps the spooks came and copied the bugs' memory when people weren't at home. Not every paranoid fantasy is true. I bet they just found out about them many years ago and didn't say anything.

>Looks fishy
That's what I'm thinking. No one noticed this for this long. I mean, not even guys who designed the very same CPUs!
And everyone knows that NSA is evil.

I'm going to bed now. Hopefully there will be more hysteria in news sources after I'll wake up.

>ARM
Do I have to patch my fucking router ?

Unfortunately, yes.

>2018
>still letting java to run
>still downloading malicious exe files

OK, patch list so far
>Desktop
>Smartphone
>Router (possibly Modem)
>Pi
Fuck me I guess

>praying there will never be a new exploit otherwise your PC is completely pwned by chink cryptominers

Meltdown is easy as shit and totally accurate.

...

or the Sun can explode tomorrow killing us all

Spectre is pretty irrelevant and almost impossible to execute, it's purely academic.

>That's what I'm thinking.
Yeah, it's not even related or as bad as Meltdown, so why were they sitting on it? It might be coincidence the two popped up at the same time, but I'm doubtful.

So how many variants are they vulnerable to? Two? One?

I'm joking with you but that can be interpreted in a couple of ways. The important point is that they aren't vulnerable to Meltdown, which is the major problem.
Spectre is a concern, but no where near as much because it is far more contained in scope and more difficult to exploit.

...

It seems Zen is vulnerable no none of them. Some APUs might be affected by one of those variants, but it's fixable without performance loss, unlike Intel.

New exploits come out everyday. Couldn't say the same for the sun

How will Intel ever recover?

No.
You don't install shit on your router, you don't run shit on your router.

These exploits need an application actively targeting them, which could be your browser through Javascript.

You don't use a browser on your router, you don't use your router to browse the Internet, you very likely don't install new software on your router so your router is most likely the last device you need to worry about.

Can someone in the parlance of reddit "give me a ELI5"?

Jew protecting jews, kinda neat

>Spectre is a concern, but no where near as much because it is far more contained in scope and more difficult to exploit.
Yes, an entirely new vulnerability class that allows for complete memory disclosure inside programs is absolutely nothing.

It's the same ring.
Meltdown is faaaaaar more dangerous.

Meltdown is a Spectre attack that leverages a specific vulnerability in Intel chips. Meltdown IS Spectre.

There are 2 flaws that both reveal kernel memory to unprivileged applications:

Spectre 1: Hard to exploit. Unfixable. Affects Intel and AMD.
Spectre 2: Fixable without penalties.

Meltdown: Intel only. Fix means 5-60% performance reduction

Intel PR says "Everyone is fucked". However the most severe bug only affects Intel.

...

Spectre doesn't work out of userland which is the big thing and harder to utilize. Meltdown escalates to kernel access.

variant 3 is meltdown which only affects intel

variants 1 & 2 are spectre, one of which can be patched and one which is rather hard to actually do anything malicious with

What's the difference between the two spectre attacks? I thought spectre can only read shit like passwords or any open application? Isn't it a much bigger threat to servers/databases than us chucklefucks sitting at home?

my fucking sides

L1 I$ that is keyed by CPL

what did he mean by this?

>Spectre doesn't work out of userland which is the big thing and harder to utilize.
NIGGA YOU CAN READ ALL OF USER MEMORY WITH IT

God, are you Russian? This logical trampolining reminds me of Chernobyl. "It's not a nuclear explosion, it's only a nuclear meltdown. Calm down everyone!"

>Meltdown escalates to kernel access.
Yes, and Meltdown is just a Spectre attack. The next time a processor bug pops up, we'll have another Meltdown. Maybe worse.

...

Disclosure of the programs memory, which the program has access to.
The main concern is in things like browsers where you can exploit the shit via Javascript.

Stop typing, fucking niggers. You want to dearly justify your Intel purchases. Intel wants it to seem like an industry-wide problem to protect themselves.

Pathetic.

Thank you for spreading truth instead of Intel bullshit.

is meltdown patched on the current creator update?

this whole thing is fucking insane

>Disclosure of the programs memory, which the program has access to.
Across programs too. People have already demonstrated keyloggers using this.

>quoting me when i specifically state that the important thing is that AMD isnt vulnerable to meltdown
Maybe you should stop being a nigger and read posts.

user instead of typing in all caps actually read the papers instead of being a retard

>All Apple machines use vulnerable Intel chips
You are a fucking imbecile. NO, THEY DO NOT! Read up on some of your shit before you spout off like a fucking loud cunt.

Link to demonstration/source.

youtube.com/watch?v=bReA1dvGJ6Y
mobile.twitter.com/misc0110/status/948706387491786752

Whats all this about a Kernel causing trouble?
Didnt we kill that guy in Libya years ago now?

AMD as much as admitted they are vulnerable. Google explicitly stated they are.
I'm as pissed as anyone. AMD runs my servers.

Idiot meltdown !=Spectre
Only Intel architecture has the specific vulnerability of not protecting privileged (see kernel) memory.