Stop right there, sir

>Stop right there, sir
>before you go any further, I'll need you to unlock your laptop for me. What's the password?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=rAUVUUhf7U0&t=24
youtu.be/HsGZKrjRYZI
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

I t-think I have to use the restroom, I had some mexican food earlier.

I cannot tell you but I can type it in, okay? You'll see I only use a slightly customized Windows 10.

Ch3ck3m!

faggot

Whoa, ch3ck3d!

Hand it over because I have nothing to hide.

not a loli peddeler so you can look in sir

>disorganizes all your files and changes your background and theme settings

>Don't worry sir, I won't mess up your files. I have my A+ certification. Now give me the password

I want to leave sexy gay porn on my pictures and video folders mislabeled as child porn. something with some nice anal gapping stuff. maybe some scat stuff. with the volume at 100%

>I'm a doctor, I cannot allow you to access my data due to patient confidentiality reasons
easy peasy japanesy

>sees Windows earlier than 1709
*proceeds to syskey you*

how's_the_work_wagie?

AM I BEING DETAINED OR AM I FREE TO GO OFFICER I'M JUST TRAVELLING AS A FREE CITIZEN WHAT'S YOUR BADGE NUMBER

>I don't have a laptop, sir.

>What's the password?
Why would I tell you that?

gtkrrn

No problem, officer!
>boot up templeOS
Have fun poking around!

It's broken

>show i3wm lock screen

See?

Sorry sir, not my laptop.

Didn't know Satan was a fellow gentooman.

>he didn't know Sup Forums is a Godforsaken place

Sure my password is: KillNiggers1488

Let me type in.

At SEATAC right now, this thread just made me realize I left my laptop bag at the security checkpoint.

TSA only ever asks you to turn the computer on to make sure it's not a bomb (or if it is, to set it off while everyone's around you in queue I guess?), and even then they do it incredibly rarely.

if TSA asks to search your laptop, it must be for a reason. you're probably fucked.

The password is: SuckMyDick

Yep, and even turning this shit on is annoying.
When I travel - I have three laptops, two tablets, two cameras, bunch of phones... And nigger in any airport in any country ask to turn all the shit.
They don't see, that I am sort of not alone?

Just power it on, there is no password needed.

I just backup and wipe before crossing and then re-image on the other side.

All you need to do is put it in checked luggage or mail it to your destination. If they care enough to tamper with hardware while in transit you were fucked anyway

Fuck you, that's the password

Sure, here's my burner phone (though you don't need to know that), while my real phone is at home.

>Stop right there criminal scum
>*shoot an arrow to his knee and cripple him physically and mentally for the rest of his life*

I don't travel with laptop

FUCK OF ALREADY WITH YOUR SHITTY STUPID THREADS
NOBODY FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU
GODDAMMIT YOU'RE WORSE THAN ANIMETARDS

sir, we're going to need you to spread your asshole, we're getting that password out of you, one way or another.

But there's no password, sir :^)

I'm not obligated to give that information to you. Have fun trying to decrypt my laptop, my lawyer will be here in 30 minutes.

>Verbally gives 256 character password

nigger9001checkem

>"son, I don't care if Jesus Christ is your lawyer, I'm a federal agent, remember 9/11? Never forget. Now spread that bunghole."

I was at SEATAC a few months ago and found a bunch of unused box cutters just sitting on a seat near the boarding area. I told like 3 different workers to tell security or at least take the fucking knives somewhere that's not out in the open and they all refused.

Just hit enter.

You are obligated though

Why would you want me to tell you my password if you need me to unlock my laptop for you?

>using the smiley with the carat nose

wew

>When your laptop was sitting in the case with your assault rifle and nobody paid it any mind

guys what do i do if a black agent asks me this?

PW is kiLL_All_niGGers_thankGod_4_the_SickleCell 8675309

kek

Why am I in america of all places

fuck that I have a brain

>AM I BEING DETAINED OR AM I FREE TO GO OFFICER
You are currently being stopped for safety reasons, please follow my instructions if you wish to pass through.

Do you have social media accounts?

travelling from SJC to SEA after christmas they did ask to see my electronics, but not to turn them on. just swiped them with the little paper thing.

never had them even glance at my tech when travelling international

glad i don't live in a shit hole like the US

When I have to travel to Murrica for work I always have a secretary mail a laptop there ahead of time.

This.

I don't have a laptop though.

>No idea. IT said they could unlock it once I returned to work.
What now?

Sure thing sir, my password is:

rH)\gvlX.qV}o|^3jblGdeAVYH9KI\S[aze8gXDrqd!ZnMQeRsHAO6lK]!RyBl^9`rAfS/V6QvEF`nKVc'5h]/uNA,iL-2\Lt?$X74[#^b=0'-V)M\TUtJ*Y~Ck_{e}O7Wg&A>t\gN>vDh/xm.cDPwRM|4Bk!/y0LI[4.~n]=/1I3O_>Yi*"\0/:@j2f;]>Qr#;GE$LZ

Got it?

nope, they can hold you for a reasonable amount of time but they cannot compel you to enter a decryption key. and you cannot be barred from entry if you're a citizen. tough shit for foreigners however, hope you had a dummy OS to boot into while your hidden partition pretends it doesn't exist.

No password sir. Please, enjoy the FreeDos experience.

topkek

>being this mad
we run this shit, kiddo. :^)

>implying my anus isn't ready

I have a default guest account for ordinary logins so they'll login to that where there is nothing but a default Windows 10 installation. However holding CTRL + ALT + K as Windows is starting will bring up login to my actual account which is encrypted and even then if you press enter once you type in the password it will load you into the default guest account but will show my user account name. My partitions are fully hidden and encrypted.

Is this a thing in the US? Worst I've had to do is turn it on to prove it's not just a shell filled with thermite.

I would love to comply with your request sir, however my password uses over 100 unpronounceable UTF8 characters. How should we proceed? Do you a UTF8 printout?

No need, I’ll unlock it for you.

>unlocks laptop
>TSA does a quick glance and sees that I don’t have any weird shit on it
>”alright, you’re good. Have a nice flight!”
>board plane
>connect to VPN
>download weird shit from home server on plane WiFi

not a thing in the US domestically. one time flying from overseas had to boot up to show was real working device, but they literally only watched it boot to bios screen then handed it back.

*tips 10 dollars

>Turn it on to check it's a bomb
Is this for real? I thought they had nitrogen scanners and if they suspect it's a bomb they confiscate and disassemble.

If you aren't an autist who fails at social interactions you could bullshit your way through it by saying its a company computer you don't know or remember the password for.
If prompted you could say its something stupid like 9-16 chars alphanumeric + special chars that would be easy to crack.
Then act surprised if they try to brute force it but it fails.
Sadly, most of Sup Forums would fail at this, not just for being spergs that couldn't talk their way out of a wet paper bag, but for owning some faggot loser special snowflake device no one would ever believe is a company supplied computer

They only want you to turn it on to show it's a real laptop.

Which is kinda silly anyway since macbooks are 90% battery, so you could throw in a little board like that and make it 90% hazardous material.

Say the password so he is greeted with nothing but a fresh Linux install with no content beyond it and a wallpaper set to "Ur a faggot" with pic related.

Then i download everything i would have on the laptop from my home server overseas.

Bullshit
I only have to prove it powers on

>No the xray lied to you

Fuckyou!1234

saved

this

How do anons do this trick?

Sure. My password is
youtube.com/watch?v=rAUVUUhf7U0&t=24

Do you legally have to? Couldn't you just say no?

>facebook filename
Back to your shithole, facecuck.

>Implying I'm stupid enough to bring electronic devices with me past the tSSa

Just like when traveling to china, buy a cheap laptop, cheap mobile, use a VPN, and throw the stuff in the trash when you go back. Assume everything is compromised.

Let me tell you about Gentoo.

Never had to take my laptop on a trip, but I'd pay to see one of those fuckers try and use an unlabeled keyboard

k

You have to be 18 to post here

My password is jebem ti mamu

>You have to be a good goy to post here.

FTFY

There was a talk from the EFF on protecting your privacy at the border: youtu.be/HsGZKrjRYZI

It was pretty good.
TLDR: Don't try to trick them or be cute, they'll refuse you entry. Bring a clean device with no stored credentials or data.

User is "root", and you just need to click on login several times. Do you want to inspect my asshole now? Please?

If you are a US citizen, they cannot refuse you entry to the US.

in b4 "lelelel they'll just arrest you" (detention / arrest has nothing to do with being allowed into the country)

NiggersTongueMyAnus

>Akshully
You're right if you're a US citizen traveling to the US, which about 4.4pct of humans are not. Hence why I didn't mention it in the TLDR, you sperg. It is mentioned in the talk. Good luck WITH your Murcia traveling to Turkey or Russia though.

Sure thing sir! it is:
imgoingtomake911looklikeafuckingjoke123

>Give them password
>Mfw no battery left

My password is: plausible_deniability sir.

Good luck checking my files.