ITT we pretend to be American, I'll start

ITT we pretend to be American, I'll start

Hi i'm Dan from Minnesota

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youtube.com/watch?v=FaMNJYthXjQ
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>gets shot

*sharts on you*

*eats burger*

H-hello, me llam - I mean my name is Juan. This lawn mower? I work for Honda.

yeah! this triggers europoors!

Cotdamn that looks tasty

>shot by nigger for $10 in my wallet

*drives a large car and goes home to my large house*

*votes Hillary*

Hi, I'm Patel.

no taxation wi--
*burps*
w-without representation!
*sharts*

shit homie, my hummer got recked yesterday. how am i gonna get my diet coke from the grocery drive thru now ?

Hi, I'm Kyle, 32, and I love to play beer pong with my friends in parties :DDD FUN FUN FUN LOL

Hey bro wanna get some Bud Light bro

*chases a customer that didn't tip down the street*

Hi, im Cletus from Alabama

>America is the only real country in the world

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
best spring break ever brah!

Was krakin fäms? may nae's Kishon 'big dick tyrone' De'Shanikwha, I am from Flordia and I am 1/5 Irish and been to Ireland multiple times. free Norn Iron nigga!

Hey OP my name's Dan too! :)

So, Americans hate thread?

...

Hello, I'm Kyle. I'm a proud german-American from Wisconsin. Also, I bet most of y'all Europors never even ate a hashbrown burger (pic related)

Hola, my name is Juan

Hi, I'm Gary, and my university is better than virtually every school in Europe

SHART

Hello Kyle, I'm Dan. As a burger connoisseur, I'll have you know that isn't a hashbrown burger, but rather an onion ring on top of a classic burger patty. Have a good day, kind sir!

Too lazy too retype it, so have this screen.

>white

There are non-white rednecks..?

Isn't this the guy from the Vice documentary?

Matthew heimbach is white.

I hate russians. They are so evil guys. But their leader is a real alpha. I want my president to be as strong and white as their.

this, top continental technical schools provide a much deeper undergraduate education without hand-holding and bullshit general courses

>technion master race

yep, the white student union one

ey vato good to see you representin the homeland ese, viva la raza!

They called it a victory because significantly more counter protesters ended up in the hospital

I saw two Asian rednecks in the grocery story for the first time in my life a couple weeks ago. They were fat, dressed in hunting gear, spoke with accents, and had the redneck facial hair

Hello I'm David from new York.
I just started working for Goldman Sachs, my father works there and the CEO was even at my bar mitzvah.

good post

>muh microburgers

lmao @ you Minnesota plebs who don't have In-N-Out

>plane lands

GOOD JOB GOOD JOB *clap* *clap*

Hi, my name is John and I am from Arkansas. I like to shoot guns, I have an AR15, a Krinkov, a Mosin Nagant, the list could go on.

>plane doesn't crash into a tower
>this is a clap-worthy performance in America

HIHOWAREYOUDOINGWHYAREYOUSOQUIET

Hi, I'm Huck and WHAT YOU STUPID YUROPOORS DONT UNDERSTAND IS THAT GUN OWNERSHIP IS A FUNDAMENTAL COMPONENT OF A MODERN DEMOCRACY AND BY BETRAYING YOUR CONSTITUTIONS BY NOT BUYING GUNS YOUR ARE POOPING ON THE LEGACY OF YOUR FOUNDING FATHERS WHEN THEY WROTE THIS UNINFRIGABLE RIGHT INTO YOUR CONSTITUTIONS

Yo, whas up niggas, Tyrone is in da house

I generally value personal liberty over communal responsibility.

literally everyone but Ivy alumni and most people below 18 know that Ivy's undergrad teaching are overrated as fuck. The sole reason people go there is the prestige associated with the fact that you graduated from an Ivy. It gets the job equivalent of pussy almost anywhere in America and probably in many cases internationally.

*walks around with shoes on inside a house*

My mother once told my little sister that she could not take off her shoes until we exited the building we were in (she had blisters)

fuck cops yo they is pigs forreal 1312

*gets cancer*
Oh fuck, I didn't have "divine punishment/plague/the shits" in my insurance policy so there goes my savings, my job, my house, my wife's son's education. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

>try to pretend to be swiss german
>remember you haven't invented a written language yet

Hi im pekka from sinnesota and I don't want tännesota
:D:D:D only finns will get the pun :DD

*claps*
Great thread Dan, here's a $20 tip

Hi ya'll i'm an amurican and i wanna wawch the dallas cowaboys play footbawl heheh I hate maself for be-en waaaet

gotta shoot on down to walmart oh hoo i feel a fart comin own heheh

The nazis wouldn't have lost if we didn't intervene. There was totally no economical interest in invading the third reich.
Dog bless America

HOL UP Y'ALL
*smacks lips profusely*
YOU...
YOU BE SAYIN' WE
WE UHHHHHHH
*scratches belly*
WE BE SHARTIN' IN MARTS N SHIT?

Hi, I'm Irish

Wow you nailed that accent, I could fucking hear it.

Pardon me pal but i think you oughta take that back

kekkonen'd

Yeah the southern american accent is my fav

youtube.com/watch?v=FaMNJYthXjQ

ebin :DDDD

witnessed

nordamerikano is the whitest man on the face of the earth

Hi I'm Chong Lee Chung from San Francisco

allahu akbar

DESIGNATED

driver

sharted in a mart :DDD

*is 5'6*

>wrong person gets elected
THAT'S IT I'M MOVING TO CANADA
>stay regardless

*dies for Israel*

HELLO FRIENDS WHERE ARE THE BURGERS????????

kek

Debocracy is great

and hard choices too.

Heyooo! SICK party you had here but clock is 10.30pm and I've got to drive home to sleep. Hope cops won't pull me over and kill me!

Hilary 2017

drumb is literelly hidler

...

well gosh darn it marie i ding dang diddley dong gone sharted in that there mart again, thank the lawd that i can gets myself a new pair of pants for 5 bucks. dog bless these united states of 'merica

I'm Rick Harrison, and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my old man and my son, Big Hoss. Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned after 21 years - you never know what is gonna come through that door.

Went to the plastic surgeon earlier today to cut away some fat. Turns out they forgot to sterilize their equipment and now I've got aids.

I got the last laugh though, I only tipped them 10%

I fucking love Pawn Stars. What was the most expensive item again?

Hi, my name is Jimmy. No, I've never been to Ireland but I am SO very proud of my Irish heritage.

Trump is figuratively hitler

Howdy i dun got this here rare 19th century (you), its been passed down 3 generations from ma' grand papi. Its 100% authentic made in the US and A. These baby go for $5000 on that dare internet but i need a quick sale so ill take $3000, wudda say partner?

S

there is literally nothing wrong with beer pong

that's a nice and rare purri (you) you got there

My names Mickey and Im a redblooded Irishman. My favorite band is Flogging Molly because I love hearing the folk music of my people

>implying there is anything wrong with beer pong

ill be give you a handkerchief, a penny, and a disappointing hand-job. best i can do man

Any schools in here? Im gunna shoot you up.

kek

...

that's peppe-eric auvinen

That triggers Americans too, who the fuck would eat that?