What the fuck is this?

What the fuck is this?

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sonos.com/en-gb/alexa-on-sonos
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Homepod
Now kys

If you click it there might be a marketing page that would explain what it is

Basically a botnet that constantly overheats and thermal throttles.

An amazing feat of hardware design ruined by shitty software and 90s-technology voice assistant.

HomosexuAL 9000

BEAM
FORMING
TWEETERS

B O T N E T
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Open the pod bay doors, Siri

>mono sound

wtf are they doing to music

a botnet now kys shitskin

>each with it's own transducer
how would you share a transducer across multiple speakers?

You couldn't buy it already?

Why announce so early? Apple is truly dead.

I think it's like an Alexa fucked a Sonos.

...

no that's this

sonos.com/en-gb/alexa-on-sonos

l-lewd

So it's basically an Amazon Echo with an 89IQ voice assistant.

Applel is going to get left out in the cold when it comes to the smart home meme since the other big players are all willing to inter-operate with other companies to some degree, whereas Apple is obviously not into anything like that unless it is on exclusively their unreasonable terms.

botnet at home

I normally "get" new gadgets and why people buy them even if I have no use for them myself, but the voice activated stuff I just don't understand the draw at all. None of them even work that well. I'm sure they'll get better but right now the voice shit I've tried like Siri and Alexa were garbage.

I think it's entirely possible that this will end up with some solid quality (at least, considering what it is), but I have zero faith that the software will be anything other than trash. It probably took them this long just to get it to a point where it wouldn't brick itself during normal operation.

Ugh, solid sound quality

Doesn't Siri already get results from Wolfram Alpha?

I use my Echo Dot which is connected to an old pair of computer speakers as an alarm clock.

At 6AM every weekday the lights in the bedroom turn on and hardcore classical music gets pumped into the room.

t. Heavy sleeper

Looks like a gay HAL.

critically underrated

I use a google home that is able to turn on my chromecast TV and then that cec's the sound system on. Very nice to have such a pleasant wake up and have it be so easy. It also gives me the news when I get ready in the morning

what the hell

>Can't read

Sure but I'm also not going to buy anything from Amagoogbook because the last thing I need is an always active speaker in my home directly linked to fucking advertising monkeys selling my data.

At the least Apple won't do that.

But why would I want a smart speaker anyway when I can just use my phone and a proper stereo?

>But why would I want a smart speaker anyway when I can just use my phone and a proper stereo?
yeah i don't get why anyone gives a fuck about 'smart' speakers

...

That's what I always said until I got my Echo and now I talk to it every day. Not trying to shill for Amazon but its abilities are breddy impressive.

Maybe I'll try a HomePod then. No chance Amazon or Google is getting into my home.

I don't know though. I've had four tablets, three android, one ipad, and every single one of them got returned a week later or sat unused for months. Just felt completely useless to me. I feel like the same thing will happen with both smart-watches and smart-speakers.

The idea of controlling home-automation by voice is great, but then again siri on my phone can do that already.

I want one but don't need it.

I'm also a poor college student.
Should i preorder

all these things are stupid anyways.

You already have all the functionality of google home in your google phones.

Don't get a Homepod. Siri is a shit compared to Alexa. Just get an Echo Dot and connect it to any decent pair of speakers. It's sure to sound much better than what a Homepod is capable of.

Another feature of my Echo is that it also functions as any audio bluetooth adapter. I can play music on my phone from any player and it will automatically play through the speakers. It's really handy.

>The idea of controlling home-automation by voice is great,
yeah of course, people like the idea of it all

until you find out you need to replace your sockets or buy expensive outlet things

Just like being like the idea of getting fit, and then waste their money on protein shakes and fad diets.

>supporting amazon
No thank you

Yeah no giving Amazon an always-on speaker in my home is non-negotiable, plus I can already stream music to my stereo via airplay anyway, so the point is moot.

The thing is, I already don't use voice-assistants. I'd literally only need it for doing things like turning on/off lights and playing next/previous song.

I wouldn't buy off-the-shelf stuff. I'd build it myself and run a proper linux vm for it.

>I wouldn't buy off-the-shelf stuff. I'd build it myself and run a proper linux vm for it.


Sounds like a house fire in the waiting

If you don't want a voice assistant then there's really no benefit to using anything other than your various phone apps to control them.

It's not like wiring fucking three-phase, Jesus Christ. Can't you change ultra-basic shit like light switches and sockets?

That's like paying someone to change the wheels on your car when you already have the new/other set on rims.

I don't get why people don't think apple having their data is any better than the other companies

Sure but being able to say "dim the lights by 50% please" while I'm in the middle of cooking something would be nice. I just don't need more than that.

They have a proven track record of giving a shit about privacy.

Also their business model is about selling phones and computers, not advertising and user data, hence why you're paying more for their products.

a trend

beautiful

why would you want to dim the light while cooking

Like what if you were just about to finish cooking ans are serving the plates on the table, hence your hands being full, and you want to put on moody lights.

I'm grasping at straws here. I still think smart speakers are iffy, but I'm sure they'd have some uses.

Hopefully it will lock normies into their homes and kill them

voice control is a gimmick, but it's a fun "futuristic" gimmick, and sometimes actually useful.. I've had voice control programs for windows for close to 20 years.. and they are actually pretty awesome assuming you are willing to do the setup, like the one I use now is VoiceAttack and it can do basically anything you want, if you are tech savvy enough to set it up that is. it's marketed as a gaymen controller type thing mostly, like space simulations and world of warships and stuff like that, but it's extremely powerful and useful.. the only drawback is it requires the user to set it up to do what they want to do.. and for normies, they are never willing or able to do anything like that, the voice assistants have to work "out of the box" and so they will mostly be limited to stupid shit like playing your personal favorite flavor of shitty top 40 music from spotify, or turning the lights in the bedroom red when your wife is getting fucked by her boyfriend as you masturbate in the corner.

Holy fuck applels get assblasted

>VoiceAttack
Does it run locally or is it cloud based like most """AI"""s?

Also, isn'T it awkward to talk to you PC? Especially when other people can overhear?

>"open pornhub dot com
>"select milf category"
I'm not sure if I want to say these out loud when my roommates are home

tfw love bass lots and apple is the first one to make a speaker that enhance the bass to the next level.
you cant make this shit up, literally have to buy from apple because no one else makes it

It runs locally not server based, I guess it would be a bit weird if you are underage/have roommates/family around your PC, I don't think it's popular with COD / LoL eSports kids either since they are all on discord or whatever all the time. Works great for me though.

What exactly do you use it for? Play/pause music is maybe one thing I could think of

It looks like Apple is jumping on the smart speaker hype train.

Quite a few things, but controlling music is probably one of the most universal uses for it, I listen to quite a few different streaming stations and I like to be able to just jump between them sometimes, lots of playlists for local files, podcasts, commands to open a URL or browser profile, things like "remote to machine X" that will open an ssh term or RDP, copy a certain snippet of text to the clipboard on command.. but a lot of mine if I explained them you would be like "wtf even is that" because you don't use those programs or play those particular (usually sim) games or games with a fuckton of key binds

Thanks, I might look into it some time

reportedly if you buy two they combine to make a very passable hifi system, they are clearly going after the millenial hifi market

i have 24/96 digital crossovers, room EQ and a whopping big sub... could not give a fucking shit TBPH

I use it with BMS, it's great because you can hook it up to little used keybinds

>flying
>suddenly a MiG-23 pops up
>darn.ACM
>say "jettison tanks"
>it presses the emergency jettison button and switches to CAT I so i can pull 9Gs

>flying at night
>want to turn off external lights to be spooky
>say "cloak"
>it switches off all external lighting

>want helmet mounted display to pop up
>say "helmet"
>display brightness increases

>want sidewinders to stick to my helmet so i can look around and engage other planes off boresight
>double check the sidewinder SMS page is selected
>say "slave"
>done
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.raytheon

>want radar warning receiver to show me ships because i don't like ships
>say "ship radar"
>it goes down to a little used panel and does it

>hit by AAA and need to extend gear but the gear lever doesn't work because my hydraulics were hit
>say "emergency gear"
>it pulls the emergency gear release lever that is hidden in a really annoying spot

with all of these would require me to look down into the cockpit and press buttons with the mouse or fuck around with keyboard bindings (control j is emergency stores jettison by default, i think), but with voice attack it will do it automatically

sheeeeeeeeeeit

An NSA spying device.

That sounds far more interesting than anything the consumer electronics companies are doing.

an Amazon Dot that costs 10x the price, but with an Apple logo

>A(n) chip, The biggest (noun) in a (noun) ever.

iTODDLERS BTFO