Stopping the botnet

Think we can cause a stir by spreading this ala the iphone microwave charging?

Note: This is a meme. Wholefoods is not actually doing this.

Can some user with skills make a better flier?

Other urls found in this thread:

my.mixtape.moe/lkotsz.psd
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solicitation
amazon.com/b?node=16008589011
my.mixtape.moe/ajbzcy.pdf
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

fuggin feather ur green circle, kuk.

I'm used to photoshop.... Switched to Arch and Gimp is hard. Some user with legit skills could do much better.

the font n caption is trash, centering is kuk tier. just start over. use the font in the whole foods logo for 'market' if u can find it. and for 'now at' use the amazion font. consider putting the bottom text on left side alignment. remove word 'more' from intro.

try making thread on

Improved it a little

>try making thread on I think Sup Forums is just 24/7 tranny porn now

>2030
>Amazon account banned
>can't buy food anymore
>starve

If people feel the need to shop there then that's their own fault. Why should we try to stop the botnet for stupid people?

Here's a better version imo./

>

very good, user.

Thanks, here's the PSD if anyone wants to change something. my.mixtape.moe/lkotsz.psd

Look, the official blurb is different and more straightforward in it's words.
If you really want it to pass and register as legit, you have to research what their actual promo pieces look like

>non free software
Disgusting

also none of those fonts are good enough for it to feel convincing. D-

This.

This only trolls innocent normies and doesn't hurt the botnet at all.

this is why it's fun, newfag

...

Something like
>No lines, no checkout - now here at the Whole Foods Market!
could be a start.
I'm not sure if they'd refer to themselves like that. And adding the word Market to it? It feels like they're not even typing out their name, not as Whole Foods, not as Whole Foods Market, in the accompanying text in their promos. Their logo accompanies and spells that instead.
Maybe it'd be like
>No lines, no checkout - now in our stores!

It doesn't feel like they're really preaching you to come to their stores specifically. What a tough cookie

>No lines, no checkout - the future is here!
Now that's kinda cool. Then marry that with their logo and the "go" thing.

Only newfags call newfags newfag.

>No lines, no checkout - the future is here!

>Enjoy the checkout-free experience combined with our natural and organic food selection!
>Simply open your Amazon app upon entering and go shopping. As you walk out of the store, your purchases will be automatically billed to your Amazon account.

>This is done through some added location-sensing bullshit. When you open the app, our systems recognize you based on the location and the time of opening the app. You don't even have to scan barcode - it's that smart! After that, the tracked pickups of products will be tied and billed to your account.
What's interesting is that it could actually be done that way, without those barcode readers at entrance. But it would be really messy in it's earliest versions.
The problems would be in receiving a confirmation from the store that it detected you, which is fairly easy, and in dealing with those who didn't do that, which would be a fucking mess.

Better?

Yes! You go.

INCLUDE ME IN THE SCREENCAP

Pad it with some smug organic text and you're good to go.

>No herbicides, no GMO, no checkout. Welcome to the future.
>Open up Amazon Shopping on your phone and state "Ready to shop!" Our technology will do the rest.

Every time I see one of these threads I always have to hold myself from throwing up at how fucking shit 95% of these attempts are.
Seriously, look at this shit. I mean for fucks sake. It's like you people have ZERO aesthetic or design sense. I just can't even fathom how it's possible one person, much less a huge percentage of people here have absolutely not a single shred of design sense.

I suppose this is why people here can actually use the abominations that is all linux DEs, but for fucks sake, I've seen better design from yellow pages ads probably done in MS paint by elderly 50 year olds.

Calm yo tits, it's not like he presented the final result, it's just a concept for others to catch on.

>Your food is now monitored data for amazon to sell

9/10
the advert i mean not the chic

WIP, BRB

>In all your Whole Foods Market
you forgot something there

>tfw amazon discovers your disgusting eating habits and you start finding more ads for weight loss and nutrition

Good work user. We're almost a legit marketing department now.

do they even sell anything else than fruits and vegetables and soy in whole foods supermarkets?

This could end up really badly.

Think about it idiots

>fill you cart

Nah, it would end in Whole Foods licensing the tech from Amazon.

agreed, this is different from making retards destroy their own property
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solicitation
friendly reminder that Sup Forums stores your ip addresses and cooperates with the police/government agencies
you have been warned

>Note: This is a meme. Wholefoods is not actually doing this.
But they really are, what the fuck you retard. Posted this on Sup Forums too

T. FBI shill

They are really doing this: amazon.com/b?node=16008589011

Why the fuck is the OP lying? Is it Amazon low-budget marketing?

Beer, snacks, candy, fruit drinks, soda. So yes.

You are apparently the target market for this meme, user. Go get some groceries.

What the fuck is the meme, retard?

>Amazon actually has "no checkout" stores
>Anons are saying no they don't
I've been on the motherboard for 6+ years now. I've noticed the quality of memes drop like fucking crazy. Is this really a fucking meme? You newfags need to get lost.

you don't need anything but the last three sentences

Thin text has been hot for years now, incorporate it you freaks. It wouldnt hurt to put in a small disclaimer as well

the meme is tricking people into stealing food from Whole Foods

>Ready to shop. Alexa, I said READY TO SHOP

How the hell is this tricking people? It's fucking true, basically, lol. This is fucking garbage. Can you guys not come up with something better? Newfag troll game is weak as fuck.

what do you suggest? Another store?
I'm not even burger, I don't know which markets are compatible with Amazon Go

Please make any version of this shit popular. You can already steal from whole foods so fucking easy that it's obscene. It would finally let us kick people out.

t. whole foods employee

I dunno. Why not get people NOT to enter these fucking stores. They're equipped with facial/emotion recognition, 5000+ camers, motion detectors, etc. This is going to hand them even more data on humans than they've ever had before. When we shop online, they cannot see our faces. When we enter the store, they get to study us, and see how we respond to images, prices, etc. UP FRONT.

How about we give them a PR nightmare, and accuse them of taken "er jerbs", e.g. the cashiers. Or that they're trying to get us in there to study us for the skynet bot they have brewing up in Amazon headquarters.

>and accuse them of taken "er jerbs",
Honestly we should have done this from the start.

this desu
Sup Forums is always backasswards
>lets get people into the store so they can see how awesome it is and shop there all the time!
nah, nigs lets keep them away from that shit

t. wannabe designer

>t. wannabe designer
I don't think anyone is a wannabe designer. Designers are cancer. That's where you'll find the traps, feminists, SJWs, gays, pony fuckers, etc.

back
have some hi-res jpeg
there is the PDF if you wants to edit the text, image, make another version for an other market or whatever: my.mixtape.moe/ajbzcy.pdf

:(

maybe add that you need to put the items into your app's basket. Or else nobody is going to believe this

>just tell your smartphone "ready to shop! Then grab and go! We'll take care of the rest.

Only somewhat acceptable image in the entire thread. I'd increase the black gradient width to match the original a bit more Also maybe get an image with someone walking out of a store from the original marketing campaign, that way its more obvious what to do, and it catches the eye better. Also needs something that plausibly "makes it work", like opening the amazon app or some shit.

Sounds like an improvement for Sup Forums. Then again I mainly visit /d/ so always happy to see the alternate loving spread ^-^

Best post ITT.

Just insert the instruction from the OP draft, to open the app. It's the most minimal way to get people to think there's some kind of active connection.

If you tell people to manually add it to their basket, it's too much work for the whole AmazonGo experience they heard about, and when they find they can't add stuff they'll ask a clerk and the whole prank comes to an end. Unless you really don't want people to unintentionally shoplift.

>accross

Hi Rajeet

Anyone here from Seattle planning to go when it opens?

Whole Foods is a wholly owned subsidiary of Amazon, why would they make their subsidiary pay licensing fees?

It already opened.

This image really bothers me, wtf is it?

BUMP! Make sure to make the phrasing better though...

Don't worry, user. It's CGI. Just like your life will be once the botnet controls your food.

Yeah but is there a name for this effect? It reminds me of when I used to play simulator games and the vehicle would glitch out and throw spikes and lines all over the screen. It always made me feel uncomfortable.

>Or that they're trying to get us in there to study us for the skynet bot they have brewing up in Amazon headquarters.
fucking genius. design fags, get designing top tier memes!!!

>going in to be (((studied)))
as soon as you enter that store, you become a test monkey, they'll be watching every little micro expression your face makes

I heard your retarded store has difficulties keeping products on the shelf. Did any of the higher ups flunk out of business school?

Man, am I glad you asked!

So as a little preface, there's absolutely zero requirement to get into any position in a store other than experience. No amount of school is necessary.
We have people whose job is to only buy stuff for their department. Naturally, when a buyer position opens, literally everyone and their mother who works at whole foods applies for it because it's literally a zero effort job compared to lower-leveled positions. You'd think that would naturally mean that the best person would get the job, right? Absolutely not! Any person who is hired internally is basically just based on ass-kissing points.
This means that the least competent people get the position, and the entire store suffers. Also, you have to really fuck up at work to get fired. 99% of people who get canned is due to not showing up.
Where I work, the prepared foods department hasn't had an ingredient for a sandwich that went viral recently on black people facebook so they completely lost all of their sales for it.

tl;dr: everyone who works as a buyer is generally a fucking moron and no one is held accountable

Bump

i want to fug akari

a-user kun

Huh. I was referring specifically to the whole "Order to Shelf" shit I read about a couple of days ago, but it seems you've got a lot more problems than I imagined.

Maybe it is because I am from the Midwest but I like going to a store and talking to the cashier, the people in the aisles, my neighbors that are there, the person checking out before and after me.
I guess I enjoy the social outing.

Professional graphic designers do not use strokes on text.

>Maybe it is because I am from the Midwest but I like going to a store and talking to the cashier, the people in the aisles, my neighbors that are there, the person checking out before and after me.
>I guess I enjoy the social outing.

user, I'm pretty sure that just makes you a creep. Even in the midwest....

But since you love talking to people, please spread this meme. And then also interview the cops when they arrest everyone.nWe'll put your creepy talent to use.

Then do it better, user. We need your help.

This looks almost legit, user. We're going places. Keep it up.

>Switched to Arch
Lol why

>>>/reddit/

This looks good

>I'd increase the black gradient width
That's nitpicking. Nobody will notice that

You spelled beginning wrong you fuck

>It's fucking true, basically, lol
only at the amazon go store in Seattle, not at all whole foods stores. that's why this will work, stupid

>You can already steal from whole foods so fucking easy that it's obscene.
Tell me more user...how is it so easy?

>being incapable of reading

that system is supposed to help our idiots in charge, but yeah that was basically a vent
sorry

the problem is two fold
only store leadership can interact with you if someone thinks you're stealing/eating off food bars
no one sits there and watches cameras (at least the ones ive worked at)

You can't stop the botnet. If you pay with a credit card and have used that credit card on amazon, they know who you are.

brb, off to score some mad veges

l33t pro tips:
the employees know when you're doing something you're not supposed to, so if you want to steal make sure none are down your isle
go while it's busy

Not that guy but it's insane, i've seen rich ladies put a potato bag under their skirts.
I worked at a pretty big supermarket and they had one guy in a room checking like at least 100 cameras, he misses most of the stuff. The truth is, that supermarkets make such insane profits so they don't really care as long as it's not expensive stuff like TVs.
One guy managed to steal a big ass fishing rod and by the time the guards caught him he was already in the parking lot.
Guards on the look out generally look for niggers and follow them around and there's also a bunch of disguised guards(sometimes ex convicts cause they know what to look for) that tell the uniformed guards who to follow around.

I'm gonna try at my local whole foods because fuck those cucks. What's a small, expensive item I can jack? It's cold here so I can wear a big coat

there's peanut butter that's like, 30 dollars a jar
or honey that's 90 something dollars? just nab a box of cookies or something

if they only got food, then beef